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Today we are talking about relationships and specifically addressing a few questions that we’ve received from listeners, which are: How do I decide if the person I’m with is the one? What does Buddhism say about creating a healthy long-term relationship? And how can I support my partner while also supporting myself?

Our guest is Faith Jones, a young woman whose journey with Buddhism is intertwined with her relationship experience. Practicing Buddhism helped her identify a tendency to seek happiness based on external validation, not only in relationships but also at work and in other situations. She shares her story today, which is filled with so many practical insights, applicable to relationships of all kinds.

CHEAT SHEET

2:17 How Faith encountered Buddhism through her partner

6:28 Why she started chanting

8:19 Her pattern of seeking validation through relationships

12:48 The story of her relationship with Cole

22:14 What it was like to support his transition and go through her own transformation

25:25 How she chanted through the process

28:48 How to support your partner without controlling them

35:10 How to decide to be with someone for the long term

41:24 Navigating feeling erased by someone else’s story

43:58 Her favorite Buddhist concept

48:10 Advice to anyone who might be feeling insecure in their relationship

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Today we’re discussing creative work, but the lessons apply to virtually anything in your life that brings out feelings of resistance, fear or self-doubt.

Our guest is Monica Ong, a Connecticut-based visual poet and designer. She’s been practicing Buddhism ever since discovering it on study abroad in high school and our conversation today is filled with practical insights on how to navigate a creative career as a Buddhist.

Monica’s own story is about identity and paving her own way as a visual poet. In 2015, her book, Silent Anatomies, was selected by U.S. Poet Laureate Joy Harjo as the winner of the Kore Press First Book Award in poetry.

On this episode, she shares about her journey as a Buddhist and a creative, as well as how chanting helped her navigate the pandemic, when she struggled deeply with sleep issues and health.

Key takeaway: Chanting and taking small, consistent steps to tackle our self-doubt can help us create the life and work we are proudest of, no matter what others might think.

CHEAT SHEET

1:32 Introduction to Monica's work

2:44 How she became a visual poet

6:53 When and why she started practicing Buddhism

11:08 How chanting impacted her creative work and path

15:36 Dealing with insomnia during the pandemic 

23:55 How she has challenged self-doubt and resistance

33:18 Balancing work, art and family all at once

40:35 Navigating the desire for validation as an artist

47:47 Her favorite Buddhist teaching

50:03 What she's working on now, and a poem about Vera Rubin

Note: In the poem about Vera Rubin that Monica reads at the end of the show, she refers to an excerpt from this article. 

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Six years ago today, on June 26, 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court ratified same-sex marriage, a monumental achievement after a more than 25-year battle across the country.

Recently, journalist Sasha Issenberg published a riveting, comprehensive history of that struggle, titled The Engagement: America’s Quarter Century Struggle Over Same-Sex Marriage, tracing it back to 1990, when the political movement took off with a case in the Hawaii Supreme Court.

At that point, Issenberg explains, no significant gay rights group had endorsed marriage as an objective. But, in 1990, when three same-sex couples applied for marriage licenses in Honolulu and were denied, they turned to a lawyer named Dan Foley. Less than three years later, the Hawaii Supreme Court became the first court in the world to conclude that queer couples’ freedom to marry was a basic civil right. The rest is a fascinating and groundbreaking history of the national journey toward June 26, 2015.

Today we are speaking with that lawyer, Dan Foley, who practices SGI Nichiren Buddhism. He shares his journey through the case, and how Buddhism can you help you win, no matter what your fight is.

CHEAT SHEET

3:20 Dan’s work as a lawyer and judge

6:13 When and why he started practicing Buddhism

9:25 A short history of the same-sex marriage case in Hawaii

17:01 The impact it had on the rest of the country

21:28 The role that chanting played in his work

26:17 Why he didn’t give up

30:46 The growth he had to go through along the way

37:00 How anyone can tap into their Buddhability and make a difference

38:27 How to summon compassion and respect in a system that is unjust

45:18 Advice to anyone struggling to believe they can make a real difference

Today’s episode is about imposter syndrome, or feeling like you don’t deserve success or happiness. 

Technically, imposter syndrome is not a psychiatric disorder  but studies show that imposter feelings are experienced by 70% of people at some point in their life. These feelings can be caused by internal factors, like personality traits, and external factors, such as the environments we experience, as well as institutionalized discrimination.

However it shows up in your life, feeling like you don’t belong or don’t deserve success or happiness is something Buddhism directly addresses. Chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo is the ultimate affirmation of the dignity of each person’s life, and the purpose of practicing Buddhism is to develop a state of genuine happiness, both for ourselves and others. 

Today’s episode addresses all this and more, through the story of Aide Aguirre, a young woman who started practicing Buddhism at 24, simply to generate hope for her own life.

CHEAT SHEET

2:20 Aide’s experience growing up undocumented

10:35 What she had resigned herself to

15:17 The feelings of imposter syndrome she experienced in college

22:55 Why Buddhism resonated with her

27:15 How she started chanting

32:58 How her vision for her life started to change

36:45 How getting COVID-19 pushed her to pursue her dreams

43:14 Her journey to graduate school

51:29 Advice to anyone struggling with the feeling that they don’t deserve success or happiness 

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Today we're talking about how not to give up on your dream.

Even if we discover our dream job or purpose at a young age, on the path to pursuing it, we often have to grapple with our own self-doubt, tough decisions, and at times, challenging and unexpected obstacles.

Today we’re talking to Michael Cornell, a 5th-grade teacher in New York City. After struggling with anxiety and depression during graduate school, and then facing the realities of education in NYC, his journey in education became more and more challenging. But when he discovered Buddhism along the way, chanting helped him expand his own vision for education and develop the spirit to do his best at every task in front of him. 

Key takeaway: Our environment doesn’t need to dictate whether we feel we are on the right path or not. Rather, by tapping into our Buddhability through chanting, we can create the conditions to advance toward our dreams, no matter what’s happening around us.

CHEAT SHEET

• 1:24 How Michael discovered his passion for education
• 4:21 Why he was drawn to Buddhism
• 10:58  What his vision for education was
• 14:23 How chanting impacted his daily life
• 32:41 What a value-creation based vision for education looks like
• 39:01 How to create the conditions for trust and success
• 46:20 The award Michael is currently up for

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Today we’re talking to Lorenna Garcia-Bochas, a young woman in Georgia who grew up around the Buddhist community and chanting. Her own practice developed when she started college and faced some major challenges in her family and with her own mental health, which drove her to dig deep into her own heart to find a way forward. 

We cover a lot today: how to grapple with multiple identities and feeling like you don’t fit anywhere; how to take care of your family when they are struggling; and how to find the courage to seek help for your mental health, if that’s what you need.

Ultimately, Lorenna’s story is an amazing example of how chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo can be fuel for taking steady steps to respect your own life, which includes resolving doubt and pain, establishing a dream for the future and taking great care of yourself.

(Note: No information on this episode should be considered medical advice. Please consult a medical professional for any questions related to treatment for mental health issues.)

CHEAT SHEET

1:30 How Lorenna grew up

6:50 Why she started practicing Buddhism

8:30 The family challenges that drove her practice

11:59 What her day-to-day struggle looked like

21:46 How her expectations for herself started to change

25:25 How she changed her experience of school

30:28 What it took to believe in herself

33:46 How she found her dream career path

40:24 The challenges she faced being mixed-race

43:17 Transforming shame

45:34 Her favorite Buddhist concept

48:41 What it took to ask for help for her mental health

56:52 Advice for her younger self and anyone listening

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Today we have a short announcement about Buddhability’s upcoming 7 Day Refresh, starting Monday, May 17. Sign up at www.buddhability.org.

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Today we are covering one of our most highly requested topics: boundaries and self-care.

Our guest is Jessica Riley, a mental health specialist in Florida, who most recently was a military psychologist. After struggling deeply with setting boundaries, an overwhelming workload and an inability to really take care of herself, she started chanting about her situation and came to a major realization about herself that changed everything. We’ll cover how she navigated her own experience and why caring for others doesn’t have to require sacrifice.

Also, an announcement: For anyone struggling with well-being, self-care or burnout, starting Monday May 17 join us for a 7-Day Refresh on Buddhability! For a whole week, you’ll get daily newsletters with prompts, tips and advice on how to refresh yourself to protect your health, from a Buddhist perspective. To join, just sign up for our newsletter. 

CHEAT SHEET

1:28 Jessica's journey to become a military psychologist

6:31 Why she turned to chanting

15:08 What the daily workload felt like

25:36 Two Buddhist concepts that shifted her perspective

27:45 How she found time to chant

31:12 What she realized about herself

41:36 What happened after she decided to prioritize self-care and boundaries

41:15 What believing in yourself looks like in practice

50:22 Advice for anyone struggling with self-worth or burnout

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Today we're talking about careers, a topic that we plan to cover from many different perspectives on future episodes. 

Our guest is Louise Ocasion, who started practicing Buddhism when she was in college and struggling with a deep sense of confusion about what to do with her life. Today, she’s a corporate executive who has worked at some of the biggest entertainment companies in the world, but the journey to get here was filled with twists and turns. In short, it’s all about how to develop true confidence in your own voice, and true humility if you do achieve success, especially in a competitive environment.

Key Takeaway: Inner transformation is a never-ending process, and along with being relentless in your efforts to achieve your goals, truly believing in yourself means looking honestly at what’s holding you back on the inside, as much as on the outside.

Cheat Sheet

1:24 Louise’s childhood as an immigrant

4:20 Why she started chanting in college

12:45 What it feels like to compare yourself to other people

13:59 How chanting helped her get through school

16:20 How she found her way to marketing

20:52 The concept of beauty, benefit and good

31:31 How she dealt with negative feedback

44:33 Advice for anyone who is trying to build their career right now

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Instead of an episode this week, we have an announcement! Based on your requests, we just published a video explainer on enlightenment. Find it on Buddhability's YouTube or Instagram, or at this link.