Buddhability

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Today we’re talking about self-love and relationships, and, specifically, how chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo can empower you to become the protagonist in all your relationships, whether they are romantic or family-oriented, or you just want to better how you interact with other people.

Marilena Ward, of Queens, New York, shares her story today, which begins with one of the toughest periods of her life, when she moved from Panama to New York by herself to learn English and begin a new life. On a deeper level, however, she was running away from a number of challenging relationships, including with her then-boyfriend and her family.

This is when she decided to start her Buddhist practice and quickly realized that she was the common denominator in all her relationships, and her tendency toward pessimism and anger was driving her unhappiness. So began a journey of profound inner transformation in which she used chanting to heal her own toxic relationship with herself, which caused ripple effects in all her other relationships.

Cheat Sheet

1:30 Introduction to Marilena
2:05 When and why she began practicing Buddhism
4:35 The hope that emerged from chanting
8:32 Her experience in a toxic relationship
10:50 How her journey of self-love began
13:03 The role the Buddhist community played in her transformation
16:32 How she changed on the inside
24:20 The Buddhist concept that took a huge weight off her shoulders
25:49 What karma into mission means
32:49 Three steps anyone can take to begin to tackle self-love
41:26 What Marilena’s vision for the future is
43:32 Advice for anyone struggling with self-love or relationships right now

References:
How you can practice self-love every day

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Consider any situation you’ve found yourself in where you felt like you couldn’t truly be yourself. Have you ever changed your behavior to fit in or impress others?

On this episode, we’re talking with Brandon Poythress, of Dallas, who struggled with exactly that from a young age. When he started practicing SGI Nichiren Buddhism, he quickly discovered he was seeking approval from other people, which, in Buddhism, means you are seeking happiness outside yourself. 

Today we’ll cover how to flip that script and turn inward to find yourself instead.

CHEAT SHEET

1:21 Introduction to Brandon

1:51 Why he started chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo as a teenager 

4:21 How it helped him stop seeking approval from other people

7:42 What it took for him to make good friends

8:38 How he applied Buddhist philosophy to his situation

12:22 How he became comfortable with himself

18:36 What he decided to challenge next

27:34 Brandon’s vision for his 30s, 40s and 50s

32:55 What uncovering your Buddhability really means

37:48 Advice for anyone who feels stuck in a cycle of seeking approval from others

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Today we are addressing a topic that’s universally challenging in close human relationships: How do you care for someone who struggles to care for themself? What if your belief in them is greater than their belief in themself?

To address these questions, we are speaking with Katie Thornber, of Los Angeles, who bravely shares a very personal journey she went through with her late father, and how she used her Buddhist practice to support him through the toughest time of his life.

This story is an incredible example of the Buddhist principle of the oneness of life and its environment.

CHEAT SHEET

1:09 Introduction to Katie and how she started practicing SGI Nichiren Buddhism

4:13 A little bit about her family and their experience with the financial crisis

6:05 How she decided to approach the situation 

10:30 What her dad was going through

11:45 Why she turned to chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo at this time

14:58 How she saw herself and her environment begin to change

19:25 Her dad’s health challenges and what it took to get him to a doctor

24:41 How he opened up to her

27:03 Why change always begins within

27:54 What Katie came to believe in

30:56 What freedom means in Buddhism

41:53 What the experience was like for Katie’s mom

45:50 How this experience impacted other aspects of her life

49:31 Advice to anyone who is struggling to support someone they care for

51:02 Words from Buddhist philosopher Daisaku Ikeda that Katie holds on to 

References:

• Video: The oneness of life and environment explained
• Quote: Discussions on Youth, p. 27

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Today we're tackling social anxiety, which feels like it has become ubiquitous since the pandemic began. Social interactions seem to take more energy after being physically distanced for so long. The world feels more polarized and therefore, a bit more intimidating. And then there's the real fear of social interaction. 

Given all of this, the approaching holiday season and the fact that many Americans are still adjusting to in-person school and work, we reached out to a few Buddhist teenagers to ask for their advice on how to deal with social anxiety.

CHEAT SHEET

0:55 What is social anxiety?

3:18 Meet Nico, Kimmy and Sudha

3:57 How they started practicing Buddhism

9:14 Their favorite Buddhist concepts

11:34 What it’s been like to go back to school 

19:30 Their best advice for social anxiety

References: 

ADAA: The COVID-19 Cycle: Social Anxiety and Withrdrawal in School-Aged Kids

ADAA: Social Anxiety During COVID-19

Buddhability: Why Buddhist Don’t Sweat Mistakes

Girls Night In: Questions to Ask a New Person

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Today we speak with Los Angeles-based actor Luca Manganaro, who shares his intertwined journey with acting and Buddhism and the lessons he learned along the way. 

Key takeaway: what you do, especially if you’re currently pursuing a big dream or goal that seems far away, isn’t who you are. Who you are is based on what you practice every day, how you show up in relationships, how you treat the people around you and what you base your self-worth on.

CHEAT SHEET

1:46 How Luca started practicing Buddhism

6:03 How chanting helped him transform a lifelong health challenge

13:27 How he decided to pursue acting in New York

21:05 What Buddhism taught him about dealing with the ups and downs of the business

30:25 Why he believes in having a Buddhist mentor

36:02 How he developed a foundation for his life through community

42:41 What caring for other people has to do with our own growth

51:27 Advice for anyone new to Buddhism who wants to feel fulfilled 

Mentioned references:
A Buddhability Guide to Self-Love

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Trigger Warning: This episode discusses trauma and attempted suicide.

Today’s episode is about mental health. Our guest is Tanushree Salvi of Boise, Idaho, who started her practice of SGI Nichiren Buddhism when she came to the U.S. for school and was introduced to chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo by a college roommate. 

Tanushree shares the story of how she was able to take the steps to take care of her own mental health through a combination of professional support and her Buddhist practice, as well as how she learned to value her own life and unique beauty.

CHEAT SHEET

1:02 Introduction to Tanushree

2:18 How she started chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo

6:18 The first changes she witnessed in herself

13:09 Tanushree’s struggle with her mental health

15:10 The steps she took after being hospitalized

17:28 How she found the right therapist

20:01 How her inner determination to heal impacted her environment 

21:54 What “kosen-rufu” means and how it helps us give meaning to our struggles

27:18 How she used Buddhism and therapy to heal

32:32 What it takes to have compassion for yourself

34:49 How she’s doing now

41:28 Her favorite Buddhist concept (see: The Wisdom for Creating Happiness and Peace, part 2, pg. 125-6)

43:46 Advice for anyone currently struggling with their mental health

45:40 A closing quote from Ikeda 

References mentioned:

• Buddhist Solutions for Life’s Problems Podcast: A Buddhist Perspective on Mental Health
• Buddhability Community Talk: A Conversation on Mental and Spiritual Well-being

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Today we’re talking about college: how hard it can be to decide where to go and what to pursue, and how to find your purpose while there.

Our guest is Josef Gaudiesus, a football coach and high school teacher in Texas, who shares his own journey of getting into college and how beginning his Buddhist practice while there helped him find confidence, a winning attitude and a sense of purpose. 

CHEAT SHEET

1:32 How Josef got introduced to Buddhism

2:17 How he decided to become a teacher and football coach

5:25 What his own struggles in high school and college were

12:34 The goals he set when he starting chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo in college

24:06 How he accomplished all three goals

26:45 What it means to win in Buddhism

29:31 What his vision is for the young people he is teaching

38:43 How he sees his purpose

46:28 Advice for anyone who is feeling unsure about what steps to take to move their life forward

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Today we’re talking about family and what to do if you just can’t reconcile differences with them.

Our guests are sisters Lauren and Molly Leebove from Michigan, whose intertwined stories of beginning their Buddhist practice and transforming their relationship with their parents are rich with lessons on what Buddhability looks like in a family setting.

CHEAT SHEET

1:22 Quote from Daisaku Ikeda in The New Human Revolution, vol. 26 p. 203–4.

2:04 Introduction to Molly and Lauren

2:54 How Molly started practicing SGI Nichiren Buddhism

5:45 What Lauren’s reaction was to her sister’s practice and why she started her own

7:37 What it was like growing up eight years apart

12:08 Lauren’s struggle with her mental health in college

17:28 How they both ended up back home in Michigan

19:37 How Molly decided to challenge her struggle with being home

21:44 The Buddhist concept “transforming karma into mission”

24:12 How Lauren’s life changed when she started chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo

26:43 Why caring for others can be so healing

30:42 What it takes to set aside political or social differences

39:31 How Lauren transformed rejection into shared love

44:56 How starting fresh in every moment can change relationship dynamics

51:58 What uniting for family harmony looks like

56:31 How Buddhism changed my sister

61:06 Advice for anyone struggling with a family rift

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Today we have a trailer for a new video that we just released: Oneness of Life and Environment Explained. 

Can I actually influence what’s happening around me for the better? Do I really have control over my circumstances? At times it may seem like we don’t have much say in how our lives will go. But Buddhism teaches that people and their surroundings are interconnected. This is a key concept to understand on your Buddhability journey, in order to realize that we are the protagonists of our lives, not bystanders.

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To celebrate our 40th episode and one year since we launched Buddhability, we’re looking back at highlights from past episodes. 

Reflecting on the feelings described by social psychologist Amy Cuddy and writer JillEllyn Riley in their recent article about “pandemic flux syndrome” we consider 4 tips on how to refresh yourself if you’re feeling worn out or anxious.

Episodes referenced:

Episode 7: Winning morning, winning life

Episode 24: On boundaries and true self-care

Episode 32: Navigating death and illness

Episode 3: Buddhism, therapy and how people actually change