Do you avoid or lean into conflict? Do you fight to win or fight to understand? Do you speak up when you’re unhappy? This week, CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke of Thrive! Inc. join Jess and Brandon to talk about the upside of conflict. They discuss:

How to start difficult conversations

Three questions to ask yourself when you’re fighting (or about to engage in conflict)

How to cultivate better listening skills

Why you don’t always need to arrive at compromise or a resolution

The challenge of emotional differentiation

The connection between conflict and passion

The 5-5-5 approach to tackling tough topics

Follow CrisMarie & Susan on Instagram and Facebook. Check out their books, The Beauty of Conflict for Couples & The Beauty of Conflict: Harnessing Your Team's Competitive Advantage.

If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible.

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Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Can Conflict Save Your Relationship?

00:00:05 - 00:05:08

You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Wear here with my lovely other half Dr Jess how you doing. I'm good how are you I'm good? I'm good you ready to talk about fighting and conflict. I'm always ready to talk about fighting and conflict but because I think that when we have had fights and arguments that when I have a level head I think I'd benefit tremendously from the you know Not long ago on the PODCAST. We talked about a recent argument. We had It was on a Saturday. We had this argument. It wasn't about much it was really about going for a walk and it was one of those smaller arguments that feels intense in the moment. But after you kind of work through it for me at least I walk away with a sense of relief and can even laugh about it and many months ago over a year ago we recorded an episode on what we fight about and surprisingly it was one of our most popular episodes especially in this is the thing. Among people who know us like friends and family and acquaintances. Who Apparently listened to the podcast? But they've never told us about it. They've never I guess admitted it and we receive so many messages from people who felt reassured or comforted by the fact that you and I argue and I don't know what would make people think that we don't argue. I guess because we don't argue in public and you really only see what we put out there. I mean obviously. I don't post instagram stories. While we're in the middle of a fight and I guess it just for me. It went without saying that. Were a normal couple. Normal couple. Were a happy couple but we still fight. I was thinking. Do you remember our first fight. Our very first fight no not at all. You looked at me like I was going to remember. I thought you remember it. I was like wow. I can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday. So I definitely don't remember. I don't even think I could pinpoint our biggest one. I can remember a few where I was really really mad like really mad but the way that I used to fight and the way that I fight now are very different. I just feel like it's changed so much over the years you're wake calmer cranky on and then when you're in your early twenties but you're never explosive a verbally. I think it was more in your body.