One of the most common, and emotionally loaded, questions people ask during separation is, "Can the children decide?"  Can they choose where to live, and who to spend time with, and how much weight should be given to their wishes.

In this episode, Ben and Heather are joined by clinical psychologist Kate Gray to discuss children's wishes in separation. Kate is Director of Family Focus Psychology in Melbourne and works closely with children and families navigating separation.

Kate helps us to understand the psychological side of children's wishes, including how influence, pressure and loyalty conflicts can quietly shape what children say they want.  Topics covered include:

1. The influences at play for children during separation.
2. How a child's age and stage of development affect their ability to form and express genuine wishes.
3. Situations where children are influenced without any parent meaning to pressure them
4. Legally, how children's wishes are treated in family law.
5. How the law balances listening to a child's views and protecting them for emotional burden.
6. What helps children feel safe to express their thoughts without feeling they're choosing sides.