With the holiday season just around the corner, we’re bringing back a very popular episode from 2022 featuring Elisabeth Shaw, CEO of Relationships Australia NSW.

Elisabeth is also a highly experienced clinical and counselling psychologist, specialising in couple and family therapy, with more than 25 years of wisdom to share.

In this episode, Elisabeth offers thoughtful and practical advice for anyone navigating the festive season after a separation or divorce—a time that can bring up all kinds of emotions and logistical challenges.

We cover a wide range of topics, including:

• Why the holidays tend to heighten emotions and strain relationships

• The emotional impact of your first major holiday without your ex—and how to manage it

• Strategies for negotiating holiday arrangements for children

• Helping kids handle their own feelings around the season

• What to do if you're planning to travel with the kids

• Coping with loneliness or resentment if you’re spending the holiday alone

• And how to navigate holidays with adult children post-separation

Toward the end of the episode, Ben asks both Elisabeth and Heather for their one key piece of advice for couples facing their first Christmas apart—so be sure to stay tuned right through to the end.

In this episode of The Family Matters Show, Ben and Heather answer real questions from the Coffs Coast community - questions that might be on your mind too.

• Can I force the sale of a jointly owned home if we’ve only lived together 18 months?

• What can I do if my ex is demanding too much and I can’t afford legal fees?

• Do we really have to split parenting time 50/50?

• Can I stop my ex from introducing the kids to a new partner after just a few weeks?

• What are my options if my ex has stopped paying child support?

• Should my HECS debt be considered in our property settlement?

• What can I do if I suspect my ex is hiding business assets?

If you’ve been asking yourself any of these questions, this episode is packed with clear, practical answers.

Ben and Heather are joined by Craig Budden from Aussie Home Loans in Coffs Harbour to discuss the tricky business of getting finance after separation.

Topic covered include:

• The major challenges in getting finance post-separation
• Credit scores: what are they and how can divorce impact on your score
• How to rebuild your credit score if it takes a hit after separation
• Do banks count child support or spousal maintenance when calculating your income?
• Buying a new property if your name is still on a joint mortgage for the family home
• Removing your ex's name from the joint mortgage if they stop making payments
• What banks look for if you want to buy out your ex's share of the family home
• Is it possible and/or reasonable to maintain a joint mortgage after separation?
• Options for single parents seeking a home loan
• The Family Home Guarantee scheme - what is it and who's eligible?
• Top tips from Craig, Ben & Heather when seeking finance after separation

Ben and Heather talk about the contributions to a marriage that can be factored into a property settlement, focusing on the non-financial contributions which can easily be missed. Together they discuss the following:

• The legal definition of "contributions"
• Step-children - parenting and paying for other people's children
• Stay-at-home parents
• Putting a partner through education
• Living rent-free with the in-laws
• How to ensure that all your contributions are considered in the property settlement

Ben and Heather are joined by Klaudia Gebert, psychologist and founder of Self Reflection, to talk about transitioning to a single person after separation. Topics discussed include:

• Grieving the loss of your marriage/relationship
• Overcoming loneliness
• What people with multiple separations may be doing wrong
• Regaining purpose after separation
• Where to look for support with reinventing yourself
• Casual dating after separation
• Finding love again after separation

Ben and Heather speak to the Practice Specialist (Counselling) at Relationships Australia NSW about how to know if your relationship is salvageable. Sandra is a psychologist with a Masters in Couple and Family Therapy and years of experience in relationship counselling. She helps tease out answers to the following questions.

1. If someone has started thinking about separation but hasn't yet spoken to their partner, what's the first thing they should do?
2. What sorts of questions should someone ask themselves if trying to decide whether their relationship is worth saving?
3. How can a psychologist or counsellor help in making the right decision?
4. What are the signs that a relationship is really over?
5. What are the signs it's worth trying again?
6. If the relationship is worth saving, what should I be doing?

Sandra also considers 3 different scenarios and provides her thoughts on whether the relationship can move forward under these circumstances.

The Family Law Amendment Act 2023 was passed through parliament in October 2023 and took effect on 6 May 2024. The Act involves changes to how the Courts will make parenting orders in the "best interest of the child" and challenges the assumption of week-on week-off parenting post-separation.

In this episode, Ben and Heather discuss (and sometimes debate) the need for and impact of the changes.

Ben and Heather have their eighth session answering questions from the Coffs Coast community - and there were some good ones this time.  Here are the topics covered:

While the overall divorce rate in Australia is declining, there is an upward trend in divorce in couples over 50.  Ben and Heather talk about this phenomenon on this podcast and some of the unique complications that arise when calling quits on a long term relationship.

Topics covered include:

Ben and Heather welcome special guest forensic psychologist Dr Robert Simon from San Diego California to talk about resist/refuse behaviour in children, including the heated subject of parental alienation.  Dr Simon is a specialist in child custody matters in the United States and is renowned for his expertise in parent/child contact problems.  He provides an excellent overview of the most common reasons for resist/refuse behaviour, and makes it clear that parental alienation is not the most common cause.

Topics discussed include: