Change Academy

 In this first episode of a three-part series, we are digging in to why we so often resist making positive changes in our lives. Resistance isn't simply stubbornness or laziness; it can be your brain’s way of keeping you safe. The key is to recognize what our resistance is trying to tell us, so that it doesn’t hold us back.   

Key Takeaways:

- Remember that resistance is often a self-protection mechanism, not laziness or stubbornness
- Be alert to the four ways that resistance might show up: emotionally, cognitively, socially, and physically
- Instead of fighting resistance, get curious about what it's trying to protect
- Take the smallest possible step toward desired change to build confidence gradually

Lab Experiment

Step 1: Awareness

The next time you notice yourself pushing back against a change - even a positive one - pause and notice what's happening in four areas:

1. Your emotions: What feelings are coming up? 
2. Your body: Where do you feel the resistance physically? 
3. Your thoughts: What story are you telling yourself? 
4. Your relationships: How might this change affect your connections with others? 

Step 2: Curiosity

When you notice resistance, instead of saying "Why can't I just do this?" try asking "What might I be trying to protect?" 

Step 3: Incremental Action. 

Ask yourself "What's the smallest possible step I could take toward this change?" 

Related Listening

Episode #137: How to do the things you don't want to do

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As the end of the year looms into view, you may feel some regret or disappointment about unmet goals or unrealized ambitions. Add in the chaos of holiday schedules, and it's tempting to shelve all personal objectives until January. 

This episode challenges that mindset, showing you how to turn these final months into a period of meaningful progress. Join me to reassess your goals without self-judgment, adapt your habits for the holiday season, and create a focused approach that will allow you to end the year feeling victorious.

Key Takeaways

- Select 1-2 carefully chosen goals for a year-end focus, instead of trying to salvage everything at once.

- Keep your essential habits strong during holiday disruptions by identifying your true non-negotiables.

- Use regular check-ins to stay connected to your objectives and adjust as needed.

- Small, steady actions create more lasting change than big dramatic gestures.

Mentioned

- Episode #154: The Surprising Secret to Enjoying Weekends and Vacations

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Craving a break from your routines? Discover why that might actually be sabotaging your happiness…as well as your progress.

Molly Watts returns to the Change Academy to help me unravel the counterintuitive link between structure and relaxation. Learn how to craft routines that boost mental and physical well-being, make your time off more enjoyable, and ease the transition back into your normal schedule.

Key Takeaways
- It's important to challenge our assumptions about what "freedom" really means in our lives. True freedom often comes from embracing structure, not abandoning it.
- When it comes to improved mental and physical well-being, the consistency of our routines matters more than optimizing them.
- Building awareness of how routine disruptions affect us can help us make better choices.
- Structure and routine are not the opposite of freedom, but the scaffolding that makes freedom possible. With practice, we can learn to find freedom within structure, leading to greater life satisfaction and achievement of our goals.

Mentioned
- Alcohol Minimalist Podcast with Molly Watts

- Weighless Program for sustainable weight management

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event?  Learn more.

Discover why viewing change as a lifelong journey is not just realistic, but liberating and exciting. Learn how to reframe personal growth as evolution rather than 'fixing' yourself, and explore the powerful concept of change as a form of self-expression. Whether you're working on health, finances, relationships, or any other area of life, this episode will equip you with a new perspective on sustainable personal development.

Key Takeaways: 

1. Develop your 'change muscles': The ability to change is a skill that improves with practice and transfers across different areas of life.
2. Adopt a flexible mindset: Life is dynamic, so our approach to change should be adaptable rather than rigid.
3. Reframe change as evolution: Instead of 'fixing' what's broken, focus on growing into who you want to become.
4. Shift from 'doing' to 'being': Align your actions with your desired identity for more sustainable change.
5. View ongoing change as self-expression: Your growth journey is a unique way of expressing your values and aspirations.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event?  Learn more.

In a world obsessed with success, embracing failure seems a bit counter-cultural. But if it’s good enough for the some of history’s smartest and most successful figures, there’s probably something the rest of us can learn. In fact, an outsized fear of failure could hold us back from our greatest achievements. 

Whether you're a perfectionist paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes, or a risk-taker looking to fail smarter, let’s rewrite the script on what it means to fail -- and succeed -- in both personal and professional realms.

Key Takeaways:

• Failure is a form of currency that you can use to purchase success.
• A growth mindset allows us to view challenges as opportunities for learning and improvement.
• Practice cognitive flexibility by examining failures from multiple perspectives.
• Approach setbacks with curiosity, analyzing them like a scientist to extract valuable insights.
• Remember that avoiding failure often leads to stagnation; taking risks is essential for growth.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event?  Learn more.

In this episode, we explore the role of practice in habit formation and how a thoughtful approach can accelerate your progress more than just mindless repetition. We also talk about the mental aspect of practice and how practicing better thoughts can drive better behaviors.

Practice doesn't make perfect; it makes permanent - choose wisely what you reinforce.

Key Takeaways:
- What we repeat, we reinforce.  Be sure you are reinforcing the thoughts and actions that you want to strengthen
- Beware the "streak" trap: While consistency is important, don't let a break in your streak derail your long-term progress
- Quality beats quantity:  Focused, deliberate practice yields better results than mindless repetition.
- Mental practice matters: Your thoughts and self-talk are as crucial to practice as physical actions.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event?  Learn more.

Dr. Bethy Campbell joins Monica to explore the delicate dance of offering constructive criticism while maintaining positive relationships. Learn practical strategies for delivering feedback that empowers growth, builds trust, and respects autonomy.

Whether you're offering feedback as a manager, colleague, spouse, or friend, this episode provides pro-level strategies that will transform your communication and foster meaningful change in others.

Key Takeaways

1. We earn the right to be able to offer feedback by focusing on the relationship first and establishing connection.
2. Always precede constructive feedback with genuine praise to build trust and boost self-efficacy.
3. Avoid using "but" when transitioning from praise to constructive feedback, as it tends to negate everything that came before.
4. Frame constructive feedback positively by encouraging specific alternative behaviors rather than simply telling someone to stop doing something.
5. When giving feedback, "strike when the iron is cold" to ensure emotions are not running high and both parties are receptive.

Related Listening

Ep #140: Growth Factor: How to ask for (and receive) feedback

Links

Life Directions Consulting with Dr. Bethy Campbell

Meet me in Nashville for the ISCEBS Symposium

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event?  Learn more.

Change is challenging, for all kinds of different reasons. But one thing that can make it more challenging than it actually needs to be is when we insist on going it alone.

Whether you're aiming to improve your health, boost your productivity, or cultivate a new skill, having a solid support strategy can be the difference between frustration and success. 

But getting the people around you to support you in ways that you find supportive can be challenging. Here are some ways to set yourself up for success.

Key Takeaways

1. Be specific when asking for support from friends and family. Don't expect them to read your mind – tell them exactly how they can help. 
2. Remember that unsupportive behavior from others is often more about their own insecurities than about you. 
3. Curate your environment to reflect the person you're becoming. Remove obstacles and add elements that propel you towards your goals.
4. Seek out people who share your goals and motivations and are actively pursuing the kinds of things you want to incorporate in your life.

Work with Me

30 Day Nutrition Upgrade

Weighless Program

Keynotes and Workshops

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event?  Learn more.

Dr. Michelle Segar is an NIH-funded researcher at the University of Michigan. She’s also a best-selling author and health coach. She’s spent close to thirty years studying how to create sustainable changes and healthy behaviors that can survive the complexity and unpredictability of the real world.

In this episode, Monica talks with Dr. Segar about her newest book, The Joy Choice, as well as her 3-step process for staying on track even when life goes off the rails.

Highlights

• Why it is hard to follow through on our best intentions
• How research on ADHD has influenced behavior change
• The concept of Goal Shielding
• How working memory affects our behaviors and how we can leverage it
• Michelle's "POP" 3-step process and why play is such an important aspect of it

Mentioned

The Joy Choice, by Michelle Segar

MichelleSegar.com

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event?  Learn more.

Goals come in different flavors--and they don’t all work same way. By understanding the differences, we can uncover ways in which our goals may be a bit fuzzy, lacking support, in conflict with one another, or even just out of balance. That insight can help us fine-tune our efforts, helping us create lives that are healthier, happier, more productive, and more meaningful!

Key Takeaways:

• Make sure that your emotional and outcome goals are supported by specific behavioral goals.
• There’s an important difference between emotional goals (how we want to feel in our lives) and the desire to simply “feel better right now,” which can often lead us to act in ways that thwart our progress toward our actual goals.
• It can be hard to stay motivated by behavioral goals alone, so try to be clear on what emotional or outcome goals your behavioral goals are in service of. 
• We also want to check our goals for alignment with our other goals and our values and adjust as necessary. 

Lab Experiment:

Make a list of your current goals, objectives and aspirations and sort them into behavioral, emotional, and outcome goals.

• Does one category dominate your list? 
• If most of your goals are behavioral, what sort of outcome or emotional goals will these behaviors lead to?
• Are your emotional goals supported by behavioral goals?
• Are your outcome goals supported by specific behavioral goals? 
• Why do these outcomes matter to you; how do they align with your values and long-term vision?
• What emotional goals might your outcome goals serve? 
• Do you have goals that are in conflict with one another? Can these two goals co-exist?
• If not, how do your values suggest you ought to proceed?
• Do your goals reflect the things you care about most? Do they bring you closer to a life that is aligned with your deepest values? 

Mentioned

Weighless Program for sustainable weight management

Overcoming stress and emotional eating

Happiness Trap by Russ Harris

Ep #146: Sense foraging: How to do an end run around the DMN

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event?  Learn more.