Whenever we make plans or set goals, it's important anticipate the inevitable bumps in the road, and be ready to adapt and course-correct.
 

But sometimes, life doesn't just serve up a bump in the road. It delivers an earthquake that shakes us to the core and opens up a chasm into which our entire life--and all of our fancy plans--are thrown.  In an instant, the goals, projects and ambitions that have been driving our thoughts, activities, and even our identities become irrelevant.

Today, psychologist Bethy Campbell joins me to talk about how to handle it when life goes completely off the rails.

Key Takeaways

1. Many of us tend to define ourselves by the goals that we set and accomplish. Consider the possibility that how we deal with life’s catastrophes may be even more revealing of our character and identity. 
2. Even when you’re stuck with something you didn’t choose, you still have the power to choose how you respond to and learn from those experiences.
3. Before we go looking for those silver linings or opportunities, it’s important to allow ourselves to acknowledge our grief and disappointment over what we may have lost. 
4. Even if we are forced to radically recalibrate our goals or our definition of success, setting doable goals gives us something to work toward and celebrate.

Mentioned

Life Directions Consulting with Dr. Bethy Campbell

Wellness Works Here

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These final few days of the year are a great time to reflect on the year that’s past and think about what we’d like to focus on or accomplish in the New Year. And in this episode, I’m sharing a three-part process that might just become your new end-of-year ritual.  Instead of your New year’s Resolutions being a well-intentioned flash in the pan, we’re going to kindle a flame that will burn brightly all year. 

Key Takeaways

- Reflecting on our past successes, however modest, helps build the self-efficacy needed for future change
- Connecting our goals to our values helps us tap into the intrinsic motivations that fuels sustained effort. 
- Link each goal to an identity statement that reflects who you want to become, not just what you want to achieve
- Focus on no more than 2-3 goals at a time to avoid overwhelming yourself and diluting your efforts
- Create "if-then" commitments for how you will handle potential obstacles when they arise

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Wrestling with a tough choice? Trying to weigh the pros and cons but going in circles? In this episode, I've got a systematic approach to decision-making that can bring some welcome clarity to complex choices.

Whether you're standing at a personal or professional crossroads, or debating different solutions to a problem, this framework will help you understand both the rational and emotional elements of your decision-making process--helping you move forward with more clarity and confidence.

Key Takeaways

- Quantifying vague benefits or drawbacks ("more time" vs. "2 hours per week") can help clarify costs and benefits of different options. 
- We sometimes conflate past decisions with current ones, allowing unresolved feelings about previous choices to cloud our present decision-making.
- What feels like indecision may sometimes be unprocessed emotions about what we'll need to let go of - even when we're clear about the right choice.
- Resistance to a logically sound choice often signals important emotional considerations that need attention.

Mentioned
- Decision Scoring Spreadsheet

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Struggling with hard-to-quit habits? Whether it's the nightly glass of wine, mindless snacking, or endless social media scrolling, in this episode we're talking about why these habits are so sticky - and more importantly, how to finally change them. 

You'll learn how your brain's reward system actually works (it's not what most people think!) and practical strategies for making lasting changes without giving up pleasure altogether. 

You'll learn specific techniques for navigating cravings, resetting your reward system, and creating new habits that satisfy your brain's needs in more constructive ways. If you're tired of feeling stuck in cycles of pleasure-seeking behaviors, this episode offers a fresh perspective and actionable solutions for lasting change.

Key Takeaways

1. Some habits are simply routines, but some habitual behaviors engage the brain’s reward centers, which makes them harder to break.
2. Dopamine doesn't make us feel good. It motivates us to pursue certain anticipated rewards. 
3. The reward we get from unwholesome habits often gets less potent over time. Recognizing this can be a powerful step toward breaking the cycle.
4. Instead of exhausting your willpower trying to resist these habits, focus on pursuing something else that provides a similar neurochemical reward but without the negative consequences.
5. Changing the context in which a habit occurs can help weaken its hold. The more cues you disrupt, the easier it will be to weaken automatic responses and create new habits

Mentioned

Ep #156: Why we resist positive change

Ep #157: What to do with negative thoughts

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Our thoughts powerfully impact our lives—but we don't always pay enough attention to what we're telling ourselves. In this episode, we’ll take a look at four distinct categories of thoughts: those that are both true and helpful, those that might not be proven but serve us well, those that are true but get in our way, and those that are neither true nor helpful.

I even made you a cool decision tree worksheet to help you apply these concepts to your own thoughts and move forward with more clarity and confidence.

Key Takeaways

1. Remember that not all true thoughts are helpful—reframing them can better support your growth.
2. Keep an eye out for absolute statements like "always" or "never;" these are red flags for cognitive distortions.
3. Thoughts that are neither true nor helpful can be safely disregarded.
4. Building your "True and Helpful Thought Library" can help keep you focused on your growth and progress. 

Mentioned in this Episode

Decision Tree Worksheet

Episode #156: How to Overcome Your Resistance to Change

Workbook/Listening Guide: 8 Things You Need to Create Positive Change

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 In this first episode of a three-part series, we are digging in to why we so often resist making positive changes in our lives. Resistance isn't simply stubbornness or laziness; it can be your brain’s way of keeping you safe. The key is to recognize what our resistance is trying to tell us, so that it doesn’t hold us back.   

Key Takeaways:

- Remember that resistance is often a self-protection mechanism, not laziness or stubbornness
- Be alert to the four ways that resistance might show up: emotionally, cognitively, socially, and physically
- Instead of fighting resistance, get curious about what it's trying to protect
- Take the smallest possible step toward desired change to build confidence gradually

Lab Experiment

Step 1: Awareness

The next time you notice yourself pushing back against a change - even a positive one - pause and notice what's happening in four areas:

1. Your emotions: What feelings are coming up? 
2. Your body: Where do you feel the resistance physically? 
3. Your thoughts: What story are you telling yourself? 
4. Your relationships: How might this change affect your connections with others? 

Step 2: Curiosity

When you notice resistance, instead of saying "Why can't I just do this?" try asking "What might I be trying to protect?" 

Step 3: Incremental Action. 

Ask yourself "What's the smallest possible step I could take toward this change?" 

Related Listening

Episode #137: How to do the things you don't want to do

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As the end of the year looms into view, you may feel some regret or disappointment about unmet goals or unrealized ambitions. Add in the chaos of holiday schedules, and it's tempting to shelve all personal objectives until January. 

This episode challenges that mindset, showing you how to turn these final months into a period of meaningful progress. Join me to reassess your goals without self-judgment, adapt your habits for the holiday season, and create a focused approach that will allow you to end the year feeling victorious.

Key Takeaways

- Select 1-2 carefully chosen goals for a year-end focus, instead of trying to salvage everything at once.

- Keep your essential habits strong during holiday disruptions by identifying your true non-negotiables.

- Use regular check-ins to stay connected to your objectives and adjust as needed.

- Small, steady actions create more lasting change than big dramatic gestures.

Mentioned

- Episode #154: The Surprising Secret to Enjoying Weekends and Vacations

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Craving a break from your routines? Discover why that might actually be sabotaging your happiness…as well as your progress.

Molly Watts returns to the Change Academy to help me unravel the counterintuitive link between structure and relaxation. Learn how to craft routines that boost mental and physical well-being, make your time off more enjoyable, and ease the transition back into your normal schedule.

Key Takeaways
- It's important to challenge our assumptions about what "freedom" really means in our lives. True freedom often comes from embracing structure, not abandoning it.
- When it comes to improved mental and physical well-being, the consistency of our routines matters more than optimizing them.
- Building awareness of how routine disruptions affect us can help us make better choices.
- Structure and routine are not the opposite of freedom, but the scaffolding that makes freedom possible. With practice, we can learn to find freedom within structure, leading to greater life satisfaction and achievement of our goals.

Mentioned
- Alcohol Minimalist Podcast with Molly Watts

- Weighless Program for sustainable weight management

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Discover why viewing change as a lifelong journey is not just realistic, but liberating and exciting. Learn how to reframe personal growth as evolution rather than 'fixing' yourself, and explore the powerful concept of change as a form of self-expression. Whether you're working on health, finances, relationships, or any other area of life, this episode will equip you with a new perspective on sustainable personal development.

Key Takeaways: 

1. Develop your 'change muscles': The ability to change is a skill that improves with practice and transfers across different areas of life.
2. Adopt a flexible mindset: Life is dynamic, so our approach to change should be adaptable rather than rigid.
3. Reframe change as evolution: Instead of 'fixing' what's broken, focus on growing into who you want to become.
4. Shift from 'doing' to 'being': Align your actions with your desired identity for more sustainable change.
5. View ongoing change as self-expression: Your growth journey is a unique way of expressing your values and aspirations.

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In a world obsessed with success, embracing failure seems a bit counter-cultural. But if it’s good enough for the some of history’s smartest and most successful figures, there’s probably something the rest of us can learn. In fact, an outsized fear of failure could hold us back from our greatest achievements. 

Whether you're a perfectionist paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes, or a risk-taker looking to fail smarter, let’s rewrite the script on what it means to fail -- and succeed -- in both personal and professional realms.

Key Takeaways:

• Failure is a form of currency that you can use to purchase success.
• A growth mindset allows us to view challenges as opportunities for learning and improvement.
• Practice cognitive flexibility by examining failures from multiple perspectives.
• Approach setbacks with curiosity, analyzing them like a scientist to extract valuable insights.
• Remember that avoiding failure often leads to stagnation; taking risks is essential for growth.

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