"All you people who think you know everything about the Lakewood Six. You don't know us. Not really." -Brooke Maddox

Hello Dreamy Screamers! Welcome to Faux Ghostface… an episodic vivisecting companion series to Scream: Scream: The TV Series: Season

Like you, and millions just like you, I struggle to locate, in the infinite digital sea, a shipwrecked treasure of a television show worth pursuing and exploring. Though often proving a dry hole or fool's fstars gold, my tireless quest is occasionally rewarded with the indelible gem of a striking, mesmerizing, entertaining TV treat. Scream the TV Series is one personification of that very treat I've already spoken to. The cinematic source material proved  such a treasure trove of valuable sparkling, priceless matter, you would naturally assume, and wisely so, the televised iteration of the same would be a lame goddamn show game, but instead, it slices and bisects those hopeless expectations in two, a grotesque fate that very may well curse one cast character, showers us in wickedly subversive wit and creative kills rich in and rife with bloody goo. Who, the fstars, knew?

You are our Dreamy Screamers, for you are dreamy in your scream and scream deep within your dreams. I politely ask you to parse and ponder the following: is it a dream within a scream or a scream within a dream? Normally, I would venture to express that a scream within the subconscious confines of a dream would morph into a nightmare, but not here. Here, in your dreamy dream like state, each scream makes you feel alive for as others may be killed, gruesomely at times, you, instead, shall thrive as you strive to remain above six feet below and to stick with your living Lakewood Six hive.

You don't have an irresistibly bingeable tv series without a deliciously bankable cast ranging from survivors of Lakewood--colloquially known as the Lakewood 6--to fodder for the slasher and caricature chum. While I eagerly admit there is a cornucopia of delights to select from with Scream the TV Series, the stakes would not skyrocket nor would the emotion take on such frenetic motion without the likeable, unkillable faces we're treated to every time that melodious, as it is murderous, violin starts tuning us in to the Scream show theme intro.

The Lakewood Six is the name of the group of the survivors of the 2015 Lakewood Murders. The coined term was first mentioned by one of the characters in the Season 2 premiere episode.

Please remember to leave your door unlocked and let your popcorn smolder as you stream, and dream, a little Scream (The TV Series) for us.

Will our adored cast fall too fast or, Faux Ghostface, outlast?

Dream a little scream for us, Dreamy Screamers! Or Stream a Little Scream for us, Streaming Screamers

This cast we revere, though, for their lives, we stew in fear; of the Lakewood Six, all we adore, from the slasher genre sketching dork to the fetching whore.

If this core cast main doesn't stay in their typecast lane, they might greet end of the blade held by slasher insane!

Behind the Grindhouse Café, further down the undisturbed bowling alley lanes, the ledge of your poolside balcony, we've warned you till we're blue in the face and the killer's hand a blood-stained red, listen well and watch closely for you just might catch the next chapter coming:

Faux Ghostface: Killer Hiding Places and Blood-Stained Spaces --Free Mapping Lakewood's Slasher Spree Locations

Your host, the Noah Foster Imposter: Falsetto Prophet and co-host, Daisy, You'll meet me in hell, Bell: Red Devil.

A killer sports one black hood in Lakewood...

(Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Anxiety, courtesy of the artist, NEFFEX.

Hello Dreamy Screamers!

Welcome to Faux Ghostface… an

Like you, and millions just like

You are our Dreamy Screamers,

You don't have an irresistibly

Do remember to leave your door

Are we up to the task to, the elusive, abusive,

They'll try to flee, also to hide; but this killer's

Welcome, Dreamy Screamers, to: Faux Ghostface: Killer Hiding

(Procrastinated

Greetings Podience, or as you will be known henceforth: Dreamy Screamers. Will you be the joke of this April's fool, or will a sharp, blood-stained knife serve as your dispatching, terrifying tool?

Welcome you mini-series streaming, nightmare dreaming and daymare screaming with a collective penchant for limited, both stand-alone and anthology serialized thrillers about serial killers. Henceforth, your moniker shall be Dreamy Screamers. You're our Dreamy Screamers who feel no guilty in the pleasure you imbibe from the seamy side streaming, shows both lurid and steamy, where the slasher always has a sickle, scythe or island kitchen block knife handy, the first prey to go is a witless and slutty member of the sorority cheer committee who remains randy, while you outwardly cheer for her to live, but inwardly wish: her still beating life-- she'll give to the killer's collage of carnage eye candy.

Scream The TV Series (Season 1 and 2) is the stream; of it's rewatch, I so often dream, the ladies remain dreamy as their vocal prowess proves screamy;

How will we unveil the face of Faux Ghostface? After we conclude this gripping introduction into this Faux Ghostface seduction, our first official episode will be a frightening as it is enlightening breakdown of the main characters who will comprise the 1st season. Naturally, we will not reveal their mortal/afterlife fates, but we will delve into their personalities, motivations and what fun flavor they bring to this Faux Ghostface goulash. Then, a traditional episodic review will commence, but unlike our prior episodic review of Borrasca: Darker Mile-Marker, we will focus a tad less on plot points and more on our intuitions and highly educated guesses on unmasking the culprit before too many throats slit, but the real challenge will be playing dumb-- for we have the knowledge

Dream a little scream for us, Dreamy Screamers! Or Stream a Little Scream for us, Streaming Screamers.

"For the viral blackmail post of shame, all are to blame, and in this scary, unfair game the killer will, some, frame--others maim, in their pursuit of sick, twisted fame. -Your Noah Foster Imposter

Right around the alley corner, underneath your bed, we've warned you till we're blue in the face, the killer's hand a blood-stained red; listen intently and watch closely for you just might catch the next chapter coming: Faux Ghostface: The Lakewood Clan's Lifespan--Our Reflection and Dissection of the Lakewood Cast

Your host, the Noah Foster Imposter: Falsetto Prophet and co-host, Daisy, you'll meet me in hell, Bell: Red Devil Out

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Anxiety, courtesy of the artist, NEFFEX.

Greetings, Cinematic Fanatics!

Allow us the

This flick is comprised of two machines, one

We offer you: Slick Flick Pick: Bad to the Endoskeleton Bone-- Slayground Surprise, Ashen Skies and

- Your worthwhile cinephile: Falsetto Prophet and Brother Gambit

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Soulicious, courtesy of the artist, Dyalla.

F.C.F.U. The T-888 is a variant of the T-800 Terminator mass-produced by Skynet.

Don't say can't to Dr. Wigant.

Greetings, Cinematic Fanatics!

For your 34th episode, Othello and I,

Enter, with us, you cinematic fanatics, into the realm of film's fantasy as we unwind the grind of reality…

- Your worthwhile cinephile: Falsetto Prophet and Othello

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Soulicious, courtesy of the artist, Dyalla.

Greetings Cinematic Fanatics, in this particular case, you Hellbound Book Hounds! The only thing more satisfying than a gorgeous and flawlessly executed standalone Slick Flick Pick is one that honors, if not exceeds, the splendor of its novel source material. Sometimes a screenplay, or film, has been novelized into a riveting read; conversely, an analogue bound book is oft condensed and converted, via a complex digital undertaking, to a cinematic adaptation. Some of the very slickest, sleekest, passionately picked flicks I've had the pleasure of enjoying originated with a Slick Page Flip I took pride in perusing. The age old debate remains as heated and vitriolic as ever, the lingering, pesky, vexing question: is the slick flick pick better than the slick page flip? Sometimes

Snuggle the fstars up with a bloody, slick HellBound Book in your secretive nook.

As you earn each paper cut, you'll feel the characters in your gut.

Whether binding open or cover shut, you've wed the novel--the flick serves merely as your mistress slut.

Here, we unwind some novel binding for this is where final cut greets papercut!

The Slick Flick Pick we will be discussing: Pick 33: Slick Flick Pick: Carbonless Copy--Further Down the Lighthouse Hole; (E.T.S.D.); (Annihilation, 2018) and while that flick was undoubtably slick we can examine that slickness with the slick bound binding of Annihilation.

The biologist, A.K.A. Lena, remains blood slick bound and gripped by an otherworldly, mystical manuscript!

Today you are gifted the treat of aurally checking out this edition **Second selection of Slick Page Flip** from my Chemohawk Library Rack: Hellbound Binding 2: Slick Page Flip: Read Between the Humanoid Vines; (Book Comparison/Carbonless Copy Annihilation film and Annihilation novel)

- Your freestyle logophile, bibliophile and cinephile: Falsetto Prophet

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Soulicious, courtesy of the artist, Dyalla.

Greetings, Cinematic

Enter, with us, you

Noah: 950 years old

These are lists of the 100 known verified oldest people sorted in descending order by age in years and days. ⁠⁠Jeanne Calment ⁠⁠122 years

⁠⁠Kane Tanaka ⁠⁠119 years

⁠⁠Sarah Knauss ⁠⁠119 years

⁠⁠Jiroemon Kimura ⁠⁠116 years

- Your worthwhile cinephile: fstars that mutant alligator/crocodile Falsetto Prophet and Brother Brooks.

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Soulicious, courtesy of the artist, Dyalla.

Greetings, Cinematic Fanatics! Allow us the pleasure of ushering you through both the realm of the digital and the

Enter, with us, you cinematic fanatics, into the realm of film's fantasy as we unwind the grind of reality…

 - Your worthwhile cinephile: Falsetto Prophet and Redhat Devil

 P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Soulicious, courtesy of the artist, Dyalla.

F.C.F.U. *Elizabeth Rodriguez was born to Puerto Rican parents and raised in New York City. (Bada** in Miami Vice film)

F.C.F.U. * Misandry is the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against men

F.C.F.U. *The Marine method of teaching the basics of proper shooting starts with the acronym BRASS (B=Breath, R=Relax, A=Aim, S=Stop, S=Squeeze).

Greetings, Cinematic Fanatics! Allow us the pleasure

Urban Legend, circa September 1998, this film

- Your worthwhile cinephile: Falsetto Prophet and Caro Blood Red Wine

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Soulicious, courtesy of the artist, Dyalla.

Greetings, Cinematic Fanatics! Allow me the pleasure of ushering you through the confining, constricting, claustrophobic cold and its cobwebbing cocoon of teeth-chattering chill, but this polar night wind will mirror, mimic and mask the screams of local victims for they will all fall and their warm, human blood will spatter, as their teeth chatter, and spill, this is one northern borough that proves as thrilling as it is chilling, but this town's brand of chill drills down to the bone, and your former colleagues', paramours' and townsfolk screams will dull to a barely audible groan. This visual, auditory treat's both pulseless and pulse-pounding, chest thumping, fang to vamp talon biting, deft sounding, pipeline oil oozing, wintery treat of a Blood/Oil mixture: Slick Flick Pick, an entertaining, slick/flick-explaining series, a desirable diversion from the main vein of Chemohawk Sessions. For your 30th episode, I review one of the most forgotten, hidden, marginalized flick pleasures, where the insufferable cold and the Bela Lugosi wannabe clone behaves rather bold; their ship, once afloat, has run aground, but by the time you've heard their screeching, piercing banshee sound, they've taken hold and grip Barrow by the throat, this vampiric clan, a dictatorship, the foot soldiers get no voice--no vote, though he speaks no discernible dialect, if you look into his black reflective eyes, Marlow does emote-- in his crisp white-collar shirt and blood-soaked trench coat, this community is well-stocked in both whale bone and whaleboat, this flick is as much horror as it is thriller, but the victims are outsiders living on civilization's fringe and these vamps but glorified fang banger, serial killers. I have reveled in this film since my first youthful dollar theatre viewing with my childhood compadre Dan, who called himself Danimal, which was a scary sobriquet indeed as the first four legged victims of this blood slick flick are wolfdog huskie mammalian animals. It is with a mixed bag of pleasure, Cinematic Fanatics, I speak to the contradictory relationship between the financially successful sweeping but critical weeping reviews that trickled on through like a fresh blood drop on Marlow's shoe.

I offer you, regarding this not entirely original but confidently shot, paced and executed flick with enough humanity captured to make you care, but not so much exposition and maudlin dialogue to damage the efficiently paced production beyond repair, there are genuinely frightening moments that do not resort to or overly rely on jump fstars scare, and the main cast partakes in some shizzy, dullard decisions, but not so many that you tug to pull out your hair with this

I offer you: Pick 30: Slick Flick Pick: Frostbitten Neck--Foster, the Fangless Imposter (30 days of Arterial Sprays); (30 Days of Night, 2005.) Today, we'll discuss--the value of holding up first at the utilidor, how even in the far reaches of an icicle-laden wasteland, you can still find a dame entertaining two dudes at a time i.e. a Barrow-chippie-sparrow-whore, just when you think the polar vortex wind is letting up, or losing interest-- it howls far more, and one nasty bloody-fanged foundling treat awaits Eban's clan, rather inconveniently, at the town's convenience store.

- Your worthwhile cinephile: Falsetto Prophet

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Soulicious, courtesy of the artist, Dyalla.

F.C.F.U. Salem's Lot = 439 pages.