Podience, I am the fstars Candyman and YOU are in for two treats! Treat number 1: this is a special Chemohawk Session as it is a Seven Deadly Synergy Session. Treat number 2: this is a Podience Session with Wam Bam Kam. I can barely contain myself scribing these intro notes for you, THAT is the level of unfettered excitement we are talking about here. Do you have the gift of gab, Podience? Does it sometimes feel like a curse when you crack wise, and someone complains because you violated their Christmas ornament fragile sensibilities? It has happened to me, to Wam Bam Kam... it can happen to you. Be careful in your speech and cautious with your volume dear listeners. We speak quite a bit, off the cuff, in this episode, laugh and engage in general frivolity as we locate such humor in the ridiculousness of people complaining about generalizations. Always Be Cool, Podience. WBK's testimonies and my own are concrete evidence of that assertion. There is no place for emotion in your arguments. Relax, let these soundwaves quench your thirst and quell your anxiety. Unwind, with us, the daily grind. -Falsetto

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro track, Island Dream, courtesy of the artist, Chris Haugen.

Podience,

The lionized weekend looms. Drink up; T.G.I.F. Tonic, Gin, Ice, Friday! Did you know there is a healing ingredient in tonic known as quinine. I struggle to pronounce quinine properly, and I still fail to get it just right, but you know what I mean. Does your WCC provide stellar customer service? Or do they struggle with that feat and instead spread customer disservice leaving YOU holding that wretched, foul bag of petrified horse fritters? Fair questions to pose. Enjoy the quotes, the dialogue from Deadwood and two, you read right... TWO nuggets of how a manager should deal with customer service the first time, every time! Enjoy the weekend and empty your highball or gentlemen's glass held concoction down your gullet immediately. Unwind, with me, this Friday grind. -Falsetto

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro track, Island Dream, courtesy of the artist, Chris Haugen.

Welcome loyal listeners,

I offer a gambit of praise for your loyalty and listening skills. As this is a touchy topic, it only makes sense that we touch it! Touch it, we shall, dear Podience. If the goal of a country, or a WC conglomerate, is unity and clarity of vision, why stockpile either with a medley of words that begin with di... as in dichotomy (a division into two) discord, disagreement, disharmony, difference and DIversity?  Does discord work in a musical production? Anwer... no! Does diversity lead to disharmony or one clear harmonious message in a white-collar environment? That answer is a tad longer and concurrently more complicated, which is we shall explore further. I offer memorable quotes and, as always, cinephile worthy dialogues. I was never a sports guy, and when surrounded by a stream of sport-themed dialogue at my former WCC, I felt sometimes a stranger in a strange land, but I maintained the maturity and wisdom to understand people pursue different pursuits. However, I believed then and now it is our similarities that unite us, not pigeonholed, pandered differences. Think about the person you found, or still search for, who you will spend the rest of your fstars life with... do you fight, argue and disagree on all motherfstars topics? Or do you strategically select someone who shares values, beliefs and similarities? To me, the answer is more clear than pricy Fiji water. Time to unwind with me that painfully slow daily grind. -Falsetto

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro track, Island Dream, courtesy of the artist, Chris Haugen.

Greetings to you precious patients of these Chemohawk Sessions,

You will receive a minor but critical dose of Chemohawk medicine from Dr. Prophet today with your second Chemohawk Sessions Short. Did you know that collegiate degrees in B.S. M.S. and PHD might also mean something scatological? We will expound on that as we remind ourselves the value of knowing thyself. The words "Know Thyself" were inscribed at the most coveted temple in ancient Greece, do we think that was a happy coincidence? If you know who you are, the limits of your mettle and your inherent flaws, you can take on new tasks and slay new dragons with more confidence and sharper tools in your intellectual armory. Many quotes will drop on this mic and some relevant dialogues from Deadwood and The Shield. Silence can be a petri dish of self-growth and a needed nook for self-reflection. Seek silence, dear listeners, and then embrace the s*** out of it. Enjoy these calming soundwaves as we unwind that roaring, loud daily grind. -Falsetto

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro track, Island Dream, courtesy of the artist, Chris Haugen.

Podience, 

There is no me without you. I sing your praises and indispensability at the start of this session. I do not know about you, but I struggled with math to a pitiful degree. However, I do recognize that mathematics can manifest certain charms and, for purposes of this episode, show us the ideal manager to pray, wish or beg for. Do you like your current manager and their managerial style? Yes, no, maybe so? Here we will dissect the three different angles that mangers can dangle and a variety of symptoms they might display. I want you to have the 100% best conceivable fstars manager, dear listeners.  As always, I will trickle apt movie/show quotes, dialogues and examples throughout the Egyptian cotton sky high thread-count smooth flow of this episode. You get a double trouble nugget for I felt like expounding a little extra at the end. Hold your friends close but keep obtuse and acute managers from the fstars door. Toodles Podience. -Falsetto

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro track, Island Dream, courtesy of the artist, Chris Haugen.

Podience,

Welcome to our extra special sauce delectable debut of Chemohawk PODIENCE Sessions! Today, I have a super special sauce, wow, I really fancy my fstars sauce, guest speaker who will affectionally and summarily be referred to as WAM BAM Fstars Kam. Now, the fstars is optional, but, also requisite and essential as it makes for a more theatrical introduction. Does that remind, podience, you of your own WCC? Oh, that piddly project is voluntary... but you will grip the reigns on said project RIGHT NOW or find yourself a different stream of revenue. Wow!? How fun it is to be steamrolled and voluntold!  Today, we'll perform a synchronized dive, with the grace of a seasoned swan, into the muck of WC criminality and how it feels to be treated like royalty and the rebel scum at the bottom of royalty's shoes. WBK has seen it, heard it or experienced it first f****** hand. If he has not witnessed it personally, he has experienced through a beloved family member. Our conversation will be as enlightening as it is entertaining; I am excited, he is excited, so too will you be once you hear that introductory unwind worthy music. Strap in, for your unwinding ride, at this Chemohawk theme park. And remember to fear................ DA LICKER! -Falsetto

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro track, Island Dream, courtesy of the artist, Chris Haugen.

Loyal listeners, welcome to your workplace sanctuary of Chemohawk Sessions. Welcome to lean, episode 18. Have you ever been a coach? You most assuredly have been a mentee. As a mentee, I bet you eagerly awaited a mentor who could coach with a calming, stylish wisdom. Calm coaching begets a calmed audience. Let this episode soothe your stress, engender your snickering and allow you to leave with a new nugget or 12. This topic, I feel more impassioned than usual about. As the saying goes, the impassioned man hasn't time to be witty... I call bulls*** on that, dear Podience. Today you will learn about some of MY monikers: Coach, Marshall and the reasons that birthed them. Also, an extremely relevant nugget will present itself to your ear drums. Listen well all the way through as I will preface my next noteworthy session, which will include my first guest speaker! Prepare for your premiere episode of Chemohawk Podience Sessions. Be the en in joy dear listeners. 

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) I alone am responsible for a mammoth blunder... in this episode I stated that John Doe, portrayed by Kevin Spacey in the film Se7en, was beset by the sin of pride... it was envy. He was envious of David Mill's and Tracy Mill's simple life, not prideful of it. My episodic example still works, as is, but I owe you accuracy and veracity. John Doe was still guilty of his own pride, but my cinematic example could have been more polished.  I apologize instantly and spiritedly for I misspoke. Forgive my sins and please pay it fstars forward. -Falsetto

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro track, Island Dream, courtesy of the artist, Chris Haugen.

Podience, I appreciate you loyal listeners with all of my Falsetto Prophet prophetic power and falsetto register. Welcome to your next dose of Chemohawk Sessions. Do you know what your WCC stands for? Do you understand the mission? What is your major mission malfunction, soldier? You better know if you want to grow and go with the white-collar dogmatic flow. We will scratch the surface and then plunge deep into the sewer of poorly executed mission statements and blurry vision statements. Also, you will receive both a ridiculous nugget and, at the very end of the episode, an unbeatable example of well executed irony. Enjoy this as you would a warm pretzel and a cold Gin Fizz. Relax as we unwind the daily grind. -Falsetto

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro track, Island Dream, courtesy of the artist, Chris Haugen.

Podience, 

As it is the weekend, I gift you your premier Chemohawk Sessions Short #1. How many will there be? Think not to ask me! I prefer to keep you breathless with anticipation. Friends are life's safety nets, better to cast a wide net, compound your squad of allies and confound your enemies. Keep close your friends, dear Podience, and chain letter them a recurring dose of these Chemohawk Sessions. I incorporate film and show references today as we decipher the practical meaning behind the Friend in Need... proverb. Listen through to the toast I composed for you, dear listeners. -Falsetto.

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro track, Island Dream, courtesy of the artist, Chris Haugen.

Howdy Podience,

There will be at least one TX reference as I mention a rattlesnake on this episode. Additionally, some scientific mumbo jumbo, but the material is as alarming as it is apt while we discuss your pondered options dangling on your workplace rope. Will you hang yourself, hold on for dear fstars life, or cut it and pull the rip cord so you may land a new joyous pursuit? These options will be dissected, and you may even get to hear me sing a little. I sing for you Podience, THAT is how comfortable I feel in this impersonal medium. If you listen uber close, you can hear faint whining, whaling from the bicolor creature on my cover art. Othello really wanted inside my studio room, and though I resisted with might... I caved to his coaxing caterwauls. I love that fstars cat, I hate my former company, and I am delighted at the prospect of these sessions healing you. Be kind... unwind that daily grind. -Falsetto

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro track, Island Dream, courtesy of the artist, Chris Haugen.