Liu Bei develops a sudden interest in horticulture, while Cao Cao wonders out loud, “Who’s a hero?”

With Cao Cao baring his imperial ambitions for all to see, the emperor does the only thing he can — give his brother-in-law a spiffy outfit.

While Chen Gong tries to help Lü Bu hold off Cao Cao, Chen Deng and Chen Gui run circles around them.

Cao Cao’s awesomeness draws much fawning from his adviser Guo Jia, while the people of Xu Province express their love for Liu Bei through cannibalism.

Who’s more likely to lose his head in this episode: impostor emperor or granary officer? The answer may surprise you.

Cao Cao decides that he hates Lü Bu more than he hates Liu Bei, so “Liu Bei and I are like brothers.”

Sun Ce lifts off, Lü Bu shows off, and Yuan Shu gets ticked off.

Priceless imperial heirloom as collateral? Check. An old pal as your strategist? Check. Ability to kill by the mere sound of your voice? Check, check, and check.

Cao Cao deploys animal-themed schemes to sow discord between Liu Bei and Lü Bu.

The Han court hits rock bottom, at which point Cao Cao is all too happy to ride in and … umm … defend the honor and dignity of the throne. Yeah, that’s it.