ChongaTron

Dan brands Holly. Rat brands Dan. Cowboy Dan by Modest Mouse. False start. Magical homeless black man shares his wisdom. Holly talks about dehumanization. Rat talks about pedos. Downs Syndrome Donny kills himself during a masturbation accident at his job, unloading trucks for Paulie's Italian Meat Market. Paulie and the paizons craft a business venture to sell velcro belts to the mentally challenged. Morgan Freeman narrates an outro as the gang descends into madness.

@chongatron on Twitter

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Chongatron has come to terms with the release of Edgar. We wish him best of luck in all his future endeavors, unless his future endeavors involve violence. Actually we are building a wall around the great land of Chonga to keep Edgar out.

This episode was recorded on Skype, with shitty equipment, in an effort to record our weekly podcast at the last minute.

Features Emperor Rat Bastard.

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@chongatron on Twitter

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Officer Denny McDoodle stops by to talk about selling the world's largest collection of RIP tribute shirts he bought from hood thrift stores. The proceeds go to rebuilding the Portland Fraternal Order of Police lodge.

Then we reveal the final Joker card. We pull back the curtain in a Russo-era swerve and shoot on the death of George Floyd. This turns us babyface forever and makes us woke protecting us from the neoliberal stormtroopers. We will be launching our patreon soon, so you can give us 50 thousand dollars a month, now that our jokes are acceptible because we were actually woke socialists this whole time, and not cynical sociopaths. Just listen to the nothing we give you. Cry at the beauty of silence.

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cashapp: hp4420

We satirize the alt right while trying to piss off the woke left. Holly is tricked into buying cum and blood perfume by some gay nazi's podcast. As an act of revenge we figure out how to launch a movie review and perfume that caters to the chinese market. Holly does a Real American Corner about a black drag queen we knew who cannibalized his grandmother. Dan does a Real American corner about his former bandmate who went from a millionaire's son, to a closeted bisexual, to a rapper, to a pedophile, to a coke head, to a failed stand up, to a junkie, and now he is a white supremacist blogger. Edgar doesn't say much because Dan is manic and won't shut the fuck up. It's a bad podcast for stupid assholes.

Contact us @chongatron on Twitter or [email protected]

Forget cancel culture. Long live Cankle Couture, Chongatron's official clothing line for ugly mean spirited fat white women with no sense of humor, and far too much agency. Cankle Couture- because you need to look good when you're throwing a fit on Twitter, or complaining to the Starbuck's manager that they're out of cake pops.

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@chongatron on Twitter

Title says it all..

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@chongatron on Twitter

AKA Big Saint Lolitas: A Gentlemen's Club Experience, featuring Rufus T. Firefly.

Introducing Diesel Skywalker as "DJ Jizzy-Jit"!!

Miss Holly answers questions from inner city youths about the death of George Floyd and the riots. Dan licks the boots of anyone who can protect him from the bands of maurading African Americans and Edgar gets Dollar Store pussy.

This week we are joined again by an alcoholic antifa terrorist and crazed convicted murderer named Brandon. Holly and Dan were stuck in a car with this madman for over ten hours, thirsty for bourbon and the blood of the innocent. He has taken the Chongatron gang hostage and is forcing us to take drugs. Against our will. We tried to say no, but he hit us and stuff. He tried to bite Edgar's butt.