*What? Sports already?? C'mon guys! *Lazlo defends age gaps, again. *Teriyaki *Grandpa disarms the DoorDash guy and looks like a total badass doing it. *Operation Spider Web *Wanted: The Back to the Future guitar. *Slim's Brother-Dad. Or is it Dad-Brother? *God wants the Chiefs and Royals to get new stadiums. *A trans athlete in California has triggered an investigation by the DOJ *Those limey cu**s nicked our idea! *A guy known as Mr 100k A Day heckled Gabby Thomas at some sort of track meet. No big deal, right? Think again. It might be illegal. *Free Tennessee Zebra looking for a forever home. *Finally, some Puff Daddy news! *What does one do with Sydney Sweeney's bath water? So many possibilities!

*You kiss your father with that mouth? On his mouth?? *To boldly cry like no man's cried before. *Crappy Walmart purses of the 90s. *Some people are pissed about the Blue Alert that was sent out to locals yesterday. *Your pet is costing you more than you think. *Is it illegal for homeless people to have a baby? *SPORTS- Cags gets the call! *Flamin' Hot rags to riches...to rags. *Livvy Dunne is sick of being chased around by middle-aged men.

*Why Slimfast got his feelings hurt about an Everlast poster. *The people have spoken, and I don't think they're demands are too ridiculous. *Ever been cursed by a witch? We don't recommend it. *Quit lighting people on fire. *Are you trustworthy? *There's nothing wrong with getting a promotion because you're having sex with your boss. *Snakes on a Penis.

*Lazlo has a weird definition of "consent". *How I met your father. *Are the Royals moving to the old Sprint campus? *Why 'mom jokes' are not victimless. *This hurts me more than it hurts you. *I've heard of people putting plastic on their furniture but I never imagined it would look like this. *Your kid isn't as cute as you think. Tell her to sit down and shut up!

Today, we take a deep dive into our pasts to uncover the trauma that brought us all together. But seriously, everyone's parents smacked them with the belt a few times. It was considered good parenting.

Getting crabs in college, violating probation for posting on social media, defecating in anger, injuries from orgies, and skin in the wrong places. Hope you enjoy our nonsense. Have a great weekend and we'll see you Tuesday!

-Everybody Wang Chung!!

*Who gave you this number?

*Norm from Cheers is dead. You heard me! Dead!

*Never forget: Slim gave booze to underage girls and received a lifetime ban from a major university.

*The best way to keep a Diddy at bay? Get a home equity line of credit.

*Women are upset about A.I. girlfriends because they're so hot. Slim is upset about A.I. girlfriends because they're so needy.

*Bawitda-boebert