Still got your tin foil hats? Good.

This week, we discuss the chaos that would ensue in a world without Santa Claus. Also we get pretty meta near the end. That's really about it.

Homework this week:

-Get shortened. It's the law.

-Uncover the secret government conspiracy to hide the fact that Santa doesn't exist.

Achievement unlocked: Get through an entire episode without having to cut anything.

It's our reindeer fart centennial, and to celebrate, we actually did our homework for once. Later, we discuss possibilities for a Burton-esque reboot of the series, a la "Alice in Wonderland." Finally, we end up several Santas deep as we once again try to make sense of the way time works in a movie for children.

Homework this week:

-Make your own snowman out of cotton balls and take a picture of it, then send it our way via twitter @Clausecast.

The year is 20XX.

Tonight we honorably mention a very special fighting game that may or may not exist. We honorably mention it, and can't seem to stop honorably mentioning it. All you need to know is that it all comes down to frame data.

Homework this week is to calculate the exact number of beans that Tim Allen can eat, and determine whether he could consume all the beans in the closet or not.

No amount of therapy will be enough.

In this episode, the heat really gets to our head. Join us as we attempt to rationalize just how incompetent the other elves must be for Curtis to be their boss. Later, witness the horror as we discover the ramifications of making a fireproof Santa.

Your homework this week is to buy mint toothpaste, in preparation for Christmas.

Alternate title: Tim Allen Goes to the Store.

Due to unforeseen circumstances involving sudden illness, we have a last minute guest this episode. We didn't even have time to think of a way to kill him off at the end. In any case, today's episode features conversation regarding objects seen in the first act and never seen ever again, though we wish they were. Also, we consider hitting everyone in the movie with a shovel. Repeatedly.

Today's homework:

-Edit Tim Allen being hit with a shovel into every scene in the movie.

-Eat poutine. You don't have to like it, just try it.

Release me from this torment, for I am Santa Claus.

You can probably guess the content of this episode based on the title, but it's kind of my job to write these descriptions so here goes: Vampires, children, murderers, and butts. Make of that what you will.

Homework this week is to learn the name of Tim Allen's butt double. Also play some Ocarina of Time, because that's a pretty good game.

It was not, however, freezing.

We're trying to beat the heat, and the heat's winning. Things get a bit grizzly as we can bearly make it through the whole episode. Don't let that give you paws, however, because the second half of this episode might just be the best yet!

Visual aid for this episode: https://twitter.com/clausecast/status/1016686644793991168

Homework for this week:

-Count how many times John says he'll cut something out but then doesn't.

-Define bivouac.

(I wanted to change the title to "Claws and Effect" this episode but it would have messed up the feed.)

A secret so secret, the scriptwriters weren't even aware of it.

John is gone this week due to incidents that Jacob and Ted totally did not cause last time, and as a result a new guest is brought on to share their observations on the movie. Along the way we end up discussing the true nature of Bud and the potential for The Santa Clause 3: The Musical: Live On Stage.

Homework for this week:

- Wait for Amazon to deliver your resurrection stone so you don't have to do more time travel.

- Get some sleep. You deserve it.

I'm so tired.

This episode we try to ignore our Clause fatigue by instead comparing it with a different movie, namely Shrek 4, or Shrek Forever After as it's officially known. Honestly there's not a single part of this episode where John doesn't mention Shrek 4. He just really wants to talk about Shrek 4.

Homework this week:

-Return to the past and undo the evil that is Shrek 4.

-Maybe also not kill off your co-hosts, just as a suggestion.

***ATTENTION!***

If you missed out on the live stream Sunday, never fear! We're streaming for 2 hours every night this week on www.twitch.tv/clausecast at 8(ish)PM EST. We'll also be uploading videos of the streams to the Clause and Effect YouTube channel so all you time travelers out there can check em out.

Anyway, back to the description. This week we're loose cannons who don't play by the rules, and we're cracking down. It's the halfway point and to celebrate we talk about the Tooth Fairy for a long time, as well as other movies we'd rather be watching. Also, we wrack our brains for what little knowledge about economic systems we have to discuss how Tim Allen is an allegory for socialism and try to convince ourselves that we didn't send the movie back in time from the future to torture ourselves with. This episode truly is a gift that keeps on giving.

Our homework for this week:

-Build yet another time machine

-Watch Shrek 4

Your homework this week:

-Write your congressman about making Tooth Day an actual day.