Come Back Podcast

"When I got into prison the first thing I asked my family was to send me a triple combination. I had never read the Book of Mormon cover to cover. Prior to that it was piece by piece. It is hard to put into words the amount of darkness you feel while in prison that is surrounding you. You are always reminded of how horrible your decisions are, you are beaten down left and right. I religiously started reading the Book of Mormon everyday, really studying it and trying to understand it and grow my own testimony. I started to notice it brought me so much comfort no matter what was going on around me. My scriptures became a guide and a light to me in such a dark place."

"People ask me how I do this - well, the church is true, and Joseph Smith was a prophet. I have been out in the world and I've looked at so many different things, I have explored a very secular world and there is nothing and nowhere that brings me the kind of joy that I get from going to church."

"I just felt an overwhelming rush, a feeling of love that I had never in my whole life felt. It was a lot, it was a lot of feelings and I just collapsed to the floor, I just felt all the weight of everything that had been going on had been lifted and I felt wrapped up in love. I knew that God was telling me that I was doing the right thing and that I needed to take President Nelson seriously and I needed to be listening to his teachings. It is one of those things I still cling to on my bad days because the only way to describe that experience was a complete feeling of God's love."

"We did this guided imagery meditation on The Savior my second day on the ranch - and man - I still get the chills and emotional whenever I talk about it. Because as much as I wanted to be mad at God and hold on to that resentment, I just started sobbing, and for me to cry - it's hard for me to get to an emotional place. But when she started that amazing imagery of The Savior, and taking my wounded heart and replacing it with His heart, that is just full of love and light - I was sobbing. And during that, I had this overwhelming feeling and what I heard with my heart was the message that 'I am still here and I have always been here, and if you meet me halfway in this thing - I got you.'"

Bryan shares his story of coming back after addiction, doubts, tough questions, and suicidal thoughts. 

"I felt the spirit and I knew this was true, and I went back to church. It was like putting a glove on, an old good fittin' glove that just feels so good. I remember the very first time I went back to church in a decade - I went by myself - I didn't go with my wife. And they sang my mother's favorite hymn and my deceased brother Blake's favorite song. His was the first song and my mom's was the sacrament hymn, and I just sobbed through that whole meeting. I don't remember a word anyone said, not a word. I just remember those two hymns, they were beautiful, and I felt that spirit come over me. It was so powerful and I got up after that meeting and walked up to the bishop and said 'Hi my name is Matt Arvidson and I need to get my life in order.'" - Matt

Julie was raised in the church.

At a young age she was the victim of sexual abuse.

After her father and grandfather were arrested for abuse, she had to deal with the repercussions of everyone she knew treating her different because of the situation, including ward members.

She struggled finding places to live, and eventually enlisted in the army.

She met a man that became her husband, and they started taking missionary discussions together and he was baptized.

Later she found out things were not what they seemed to be in her marriage, and it ended in divorce.

Julie came back to Utah and found love and hope in new friends.

She witnessed miracles that pushed her back to the gospel.

Today, Julie's love for the gospel & the peace that radiates through her life, is evident.

Leo started to grapple with his faith when he started uncovering information about church history that he had never heard before. It sent him down a rabbit hole of information that caused him to question everything he had ever been taught. A series of miraculous events pushed Leo back to the church, he couldn't deny God's hand in his life. Leo is back as a fully active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He uses his experience to help others stay on the covenant path with his non-profit called Uplift Community of Faith. One of the most powerful moments of the podcast episode was when I asked Leo if he has any doubts or concerns that still bother him, to which he simply replied - no.

*DISCLAIMER* This podcast goes into some of the more in depth questions that can be challenging for church members to grapple with.*

I am a huge fan of Jasmine's. Her knowledge and testimony of the gospel is incredible. I have seen several of her videos and knew that I wanted her to join the podcast and give answers to some of the tough questions that can challenge a persons testimony, and ultimately refine it to be more mature. 

Questions in regards to the history of the church can ultimately lead to strength and more assurance of our testimony if we can turn to the Lord. 

Nichelle Nelson shares her amazing story of why she chose to come back to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints after exploring other religions, and being out of the church for a number of years. 

Nichelle reconverted to the church without her husband, and she shares her experience of a mixed faith marriage. 

You will love this story of faith & hope.

"I prayed so hard for the desire to want to change.

I know without a doubt I could not have done that without our savior Jesus Christ.

There was another force, another power that made it possible for me to change because I, myself, could not have done that." - Nichelle

“I had been faithful and active all my life. I held callings, served a mission, was sealed in the temple and everything that was considered “on the path”.

Then, in the middle of a divorce at a young age (only 23), my husband shared his years of research against the church and I took in all of it in a few short months. Podcasts, videos, blogs, forums, articles, books, etc against the church, “proving” that the doctrine was completely false.

Pretty soon, not only had I announced to my family I was leaving the church, but I didn’t even believe in God at all anymore. Religion seemed silly and naive. Something made up by well-meaning people to help others navigate the difficulties of life. But the Mormon religion seemed especially repulsive. The church felt cultish and dark and I felt relief to know better and be free from it.

Then one afternoon, while thinking about my new life…the spirit led me to important questions. How would I explain to my children that our extended family was religious but we were not? If leaving the church means more money, more time on the weekends and less rules, am I taking an easier path?

Did I REALLY know for sure that God wasn’t real? Could I, with my limited understanding, so easily settle a matter that has been debated for centuries by the brightest minds in history? And then I thought, if it’s not real…then you just die and nothing matters. But what if it is? IF this is real…EVERYTHING matters. I won’t know for certain either way so maybe I need to give it a chance. I decided I needed more information so I could be certain.

So I searched MORE, asked MORE and Gods answers came. Slowly over the next two years I received line upon line and rebuilt my testimony like a convert learning these truths for the first time.

A mentor that knew of my struggles suggested that I read "The Crucible of Doubt" by the Givens. I read it all in one day and felt a flood of spiritual reassurance and power that I hadn't felt in a long time. I knew I was onto something.

So I started with the basics. If I want to know if God existed, maybe I should try praying to Him. If I want to learn about Christ, maybe I should read about Him. Read what He taught and said. I decided that I might never believe in God again fully or have a testimony like I once did but that I wanted to live my life as if it were ALL true. Just in case.

My first bishop back was a huge blessing. He assigned me to teach 4 year olds in primary. It was the ABSOLUTE perfect thing my fragile spirit needed. When I wanted to go to the temple, that bishop asked me all the questions.

In all of my answers I told him that I did not know. I was not sure about any of it, but that I wanted to learn and felt the temple could help me in some way.

He told me that there was no better place for me to learn and gave me a recommend. With each small and unsure step I took toward Him, God blessed me with just enough of the spirit's reassurance to take me onto the next step.

I studied and prayed. A lot. And I learned and learned and the spirit gave me such strong witnesses of the truths that I was slowly relearning.

I learned the pattern that we are always taught in the church but are too skeptical to take literally; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. It took two years for me to gain the conviction I had lost and much much more.”