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Stepfamily life, even at its happiest and simplest, is still far more complex than a first family.

It's easy to compare a blended family with a traditional family and think crap, this looks reallllly different. We must be failing. But we're not. Different is not "lesser than"— it's just different.

Constantly wishing things were easier and less complicated in our blended families doesn’t make them easier or less complicated. And fixating on that kind of wishful thinking keeps us stuck. Keeps us from appreciating our family how we are, not as we wish we were. And our stepfam as we are might be messy, but it’s also kind of awesome in its messiness.

Maybe that sounds overly optimistic, but… okay, I mean, how cool is it that we piled a bunch of complete strangers together and made a family? It's DAMN COOL, you guys! Even when that definition of "family" doesn't quite line up with what I always imagined in my head.

Appreciate what is. Practice acceptance. And you'll find your own pocket of awesome somewhere in all that complicated messy stepfamily dynamic.

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