We learn to neglect ourselves at an early age and then everything goes to hell forever after. Stuck in unfixable suffering, toiling away with ineffectual attempts to comfort ourselves, and possibly... destroying our own lives, in an attempt to end the self-deprivation through backdoor methods.

Let's talk about needs and what happens when we learn there are "required" versus "unallowed" ways we're permitted to care about ourselves.

If this show made your eyes get real big, you may want to check out this full episode series. Hit patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers and jump into the "NonViolent Communication Collection" for all the episodes, videos, workbooks, and reflection exercises on self-neglect. And we'll be returning to talking deprivation in a few weeks :)

Cheers, Fuckers!

Jess

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"Depression is the reward we get for being good children."

NVC helps yer relationships, sure. But it'll also rewire your t-brain trashhabits, emotional misunderstandings, and shit perspectives if you use it solo.

Let's talk about the roots of the worst of us; our unmet needs and beliefs that deprivation = goodness. Which create vicious cycles of projection, unfulfillment, and relational abuse.

Like reading along and looking at scribbles? Find your transcript here, Fucker.

Ready to dive headfirst into this conversation, or any of our other topical focuses? Hit up "Collections" of episodes, workbooks, videos, polls, bonuses, and more at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers.

... and help this one-person operation keep rolling, while you learn. <3 Thanks for your support, Muffs.

Cheers!

Jess and Barkus

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Ever feel "unheard"?

Well, here's the key to getting your point across and sparking collaboration rather than opposition.

Today, we're talking about NonViolent Communication (NVC) - the 4 step framework for communicating effectively about emotions and unmet needs without stimulating defensive reactions or leaning on your own deeply ingrained control tactics... And so much more.

Wanna transcript and some doods to listen along with? Find it here!

Looking to do more than scratch the surface on NonViolent Communication? Check out the new NVC "Collection" as it populates on Patreon! We're wrapping about all the NLP details and recovery implications with whiteboard vids and workbooks, to boot, at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers.

ps - your patronage makes this entire project possible. Thank you, Fuckers.

Cheers

MFJess

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So, how do we apologize "the right way"... Rather than creating MORE damage through half-assed "I'm sorrys"?

Today, let's talk about the 5 points for offering a real apology for sake of true relational healing... And four examples of how NOT to apologize, unless you actually want to make the emotional abandonment experience worse for your partner.

Looking for 10 more examples of terrible non-apologies? Hit up the recent episode "Non-Apology Apologies" over at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. And fuckle up for NonViolent Communication month, coming at ya in September.

For the transcript version of this (and every) episode, go to t-mfrs.com. And do some extra CPTSD learnin while you're there.

Cheers, Fuckers!

MFJess

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How DO we heal what's been broken? I've got a short phrase for you - it's what we've all needed to hear all along.

And let's talk about the timeless wounds patched up by real apologies, as we prepare to talk about shitty apologies next time.

Hail yerSelf and Cheers Fuckers.

Git the transcript version of this post at t-mfrs.com and check out some doods while you're there.

Catch up on the recent downpour of episodes over at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers and help this one-human DIY project keep spreading the good news about healing.

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We all know about the 4 survival Fs at this point. But how about the additional F reactions- Fronting and Feigning?

Let's talk about learned reactions that keep us feeling safe in relationship... while rotting out the connection, engaging manipulation tactics, and using fear as a self-defense.

Looking for more "real relationship talk"? Well that's the order of the month, over in the private podcast stream. We're dropping four full episodes of "less fluffy" relational conversations, talking about how relationally traumatized partnerships actually tend to shake out... and how to "read them" before you're in too deep.

See you there!

And cheers, Fuckers!

MFJess

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message

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We've talked a lot about committing fully to relationships and overcoming our conflicts together, through examining the subconscious wounds that actually underly our relational upsets.

But here's my question: Is that realistic?

Today, we talk about getting clearer on the contents of our potential and current relationship partners' preprogramming, through checking our own somatic experiences, our shared trauma histories, and their adaptions to the social systems that raised them.

For alllll the relationship x CPTSD details that will reframe how you view other people and yourself... hit patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers and join the private conversation around relearning "healthy relating."

Prepare to reflect.

🍻

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Let's run through a bunch of messages today, and end on a trauma recovery inspired tune - sent by a gifted MF putting their skills to good use for all of us. We'll talk about fearing borderline diagnoses, redesigning life to meet our recovery needs, the utility of journaling and trauma narration, and beyond.

Thanks again to Somber Mercy for their share and song submission! Find them at instagram.com/sombermercy

If you want to be a part of the Mailbag or Motherfuckers Speaks episodes, send your shiiiiiit to [email protected] to get on the show, in written or recorded form.

Cheers y'all

MFJess

Ever feel like "the issue" isn't really "the issue" in relational conflict? That's because the real issue is buried under layers of protective instincts that keep us unable to fully connect or communicate... but very capable of fighting, endlessly.

Let's talk about "conscious relationships" and their trauma recovery utility, as we discuss methods for resolving unescapable conflict detailed by IFS couples therapy practitioners.

Hankering for the full details on this relationship recovery talk? Hit up the private community and long-ass episode stream at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers, and git all the extra bonus resources this month at any subscription level!

Then stay tuned for next month, as we get into the "relational real talk" that brings this conversation down to t-earth.

See you there!

MFJess

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Why do we start close relationships and love connections feeling one way... only to watch them disintegrate, become survival-based, and turn into "resentment"?

Let's walk through the easiest explanation ever told; pulling in our Internal Family Systems education to discuss the greatest relational obstacle of them all.

Looking for a lot more relational talk? Good news! It's been the theme of 2023 over on the private stream. Check this month's special triple research episode release and get all the extra resources, no matter how you subscribe.

See you there, and cheers, Fuckers!

MFJess

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