Conversations with Safe Harbour Therapy

Have you ever had a physical injury that seemed to plague you long after the site had healed? If your answer was “yes” just know that this is not as unusual as you might think. The body often retains the emotional imprint of physical trauma. These imprints especially of intense feeling that may have occurred […]

Have you ever had a physical injury that seemed to plague you long after the site had healed? If your answer was “yes” just know that this is not as unusual as you might think. The body often retains the emotional imprint of physical trauma. These imprints especially of intense feeling that may have occurred […]

Our world is in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic. It’s challenging all of us and it’s bringing up many feelings some of which may include: fear, despair, loneliness, introspection, connection, and joy. Despite each of our unique situations, we’re all responding in different ways. Some people are on the front lines making sure we […]

Our world is in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic. It’s challenging all of us and it’s bringing up many feelings some of which may include: fear, despair, loneliness, introspection, connection, and joy.

Despite each of our unique situations, we’re all responding in different ways. Some people are on the front lines making sure we all stay safe. Others are homeschooling their kids while trying to work from home. There are some small businesses and professionals who have had to close their doors or whose businesses are halted to an almost complete stop. Some people are decluttering their homes, taking online courses, or starting home projects they’d been meaning to do for a long time. Others may be having trouble getting out of their pyjamas or staving off the panic driven thoughts and feelings of how they will pay their bills, take care of their kids, or stay safe inside their own homes.

Whichever scenario feels like yours, I think we are all experiencing moments during this pandemic where we feel unsure, scared, or perhaps out of control.  So what do we do during these moments so that we can make it through, together?

I’d like to start with a grounding exercise entitled, Welcoming Practice.  It’s from a book a read called, Overcoming Trauma through Yoga – Reclaiming Your Body written by David Emerson and Elizabeth Hopper, PhD. I will talk more about it more later in the podcast but it may be a nice way to take a break. And it’s found on page 7.

You may have heard the phrase, “feel your feelings” and that feelings are natural. We don’t choose them but we can choose how to move through them.  The thing is we need to be able to handle our feelings in order to sit in them in order to move through them.  When I work with clients we talk about something called a window of tolerance, a term noted by Dan Siegel and Pat Ogden.

Everyone’s window, or capacity to be with and manage their feelings, is a different size: some emotional windows are smaller than others and they may feel overwhelmed sooner than someone who has a larger window who can tolerate more challenging situations for longer. No capacity is better than another – it just is.

What’s most important is knowing our own capacity so we can manage our own emotions. When we feel out of our window of tolerance, we could have a heightened response to a situation with an increased heart rate, breathing, feeling nauseous or having racing thoughts, or feeling overwhelmed with emotion, or acting impulsively. Or we could be outside of our window with a more shut down or collapsed response like a decrease in our heart rate or breathing, feeling like we can’t think at all, feeling numb or depressed, withdrawing from our people or activities, or feeling extremely sleepy.

Once we know what being out of our window of tolerance looks like for us, it’s important to know that it may change given what is happening in our lives.  With a pandemic, our usual capacity probably looks different now. You could think of it as your capacity to work out when you are sick or after you’ve been injured.  Initially, we take time to give our body a chance to heal and then we work slowly to gain back our strength. The same is with feelings after an adverse life event. How we feel our feelings will look differently for everyone but the common action is to titrate or make that capacity bigger, little by little, by noticing and then taking a break to ground, then repeat until we feel calm again.

Before we feel our feelings, it’s important to know about how to ground ourselves when we notice that we have left our window of tolerance. So if the feelings we are sitting in begin to feel overwhelming, then we know that we can press pause and know how to get back to baseline without feeling like we need to numb out, or injure ourselves or those around us.

When grounding, an option is to shift our focus to our senses…wh

So much is being asked of us right now.  We all try to do our best to flatten the curve and keep our loved ones safe.  Parents especially are faced with many pressures right now- trying to work from home, ensure their kids continue to learn, pressure to help kids with their learning packages and […]

So much is being asked of us right now.  We all try to do our best to flatten the curve and keep our loved ones safe.  Parents especially are faced with many pressures right now- trying to work from home, ensure their kids continue to learn, pressure to help kids with their learning packages and communicate with their teachers.  Many Parents are faced with real financial pressures and have worries about caring and protecting their aging parents.  If parents work in essential services they may struggle with the need to work and worries about exposing themselves and their families to COVID 19.  

Ensuring/Protecting Parent’s Mental Health is important.

It is important to protect the mental health of parents particularly now – Kids are looking to their parents to feel safe and secure and to help them manage with all the uncertaintyIt is difficult to help others/ support your own family if you are feeling overwhelmed and your fears are out of controlThis is an unprecedented time; it is normal to feel anxious and have worriesDo your best to manage, take good care of your mental health,  practice self care, avoid excessive exposure to media coverage, add extra time for daily stress relief Connection with friends and family is key—we are stronger together.  You may need the help of a mental health professional to ensure that you are coping well- to talk through your anxiety and develop healthy coping strategies.  You may also need support to be able to support your children through this

How to help your children manage with these uncertain times

It is important to talk about what is going on with your child.  There are great resources to help you do this if you are uncertain- Anxiety Canada website- awesome source of info, and has scripts of how to approach topic of COVID 19 with your child and links to other resources, and videos you can watch together with your child.  https://www.anxietycanada.comAce Burpee’s UTube series where WPG pose questions and get the facts and answers to their questions from the MB health officials. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oj2HyrGvsJQLego version of PM Justin Trudeau’s speech to Canadian ChildrenCheck in with kids, ask them what they know, what they are worried about and what they want to knowDon’t be afraid to talk about- it helps to talk. It’s also OK not to know the answers- you can find out together.  Children may need more reassurance during this time- reassure them that they’re safe, they may need more hugs, more 1:1 time- Remind them that this will inevitably end, and we will be able to gather together and see our family in person again.   Predictability and routine help children, but this can be a routine that is fluid and flexible one that fits your family and child’s personality. Don’t be afraid to let your child know that you are anxious too- this can help to normalize their fears.  It is healthy to have some anxiety/worries- by helping them know it’s OK and healthy to worry a little, it helps keep us safe, but we never want to let worry take over and become unhelpfulRemember to explain things in terms and language they can understand, in simple explanations

Use what Works

What positive strategies does your family use to manage worries- Model your own coping strategies Help your child generate alternatives to their worried thoughts, like “what else could happen” insteadHelp your child sort out helpful worries and unhelpful ones*Many resources available to help- Anxiety Canada

Stay Active

Ideas to stay active and burn off energy can be found Online with programs like Go Noodle, Yoga for kids, YMCA has virtual work outswalks -while maintaining appropriate social distancing

Sleep

Getting enough sleep helps us manage our stress and cope effectively with stressors

Eat Well

As appropriate, get children involved in cooking and helping 

Some final thought

Let’s feel the feelings we are experiencing and rely on old ways and perhaps discover new ones of expressing these emotions. During my quarantine I have gone through waves of being productive and creative as well as feeling overwhelmed and mournful. Through all of these feelings I have tried my best to stick with a […]

Let’s feel the feelings we are experiencing and rely on old ways and perhaps discover new ones of expressing these emotions.

During my quarantine I have gone through waves of being productive and creative as well as feeling overwhelmed and mournful.

Through all of these feelings I have tried my best to stick with a mantra “there is no “right” way to feel, we are going through something new and as a community / world we are experiencing it together”

For me there is a sense of calm / holding when I think about my community, here in Manitoba and all over the world – that we are in this together and that from day to day, from moment to moment I (we) are not alone in our feelings even though we may be physically alone in our homes. Do what you need to do to feel a shift in your emotions / be present with them. Drink water, feel the sun on your face, take time for yoga (or another practice of moving your body as you are able).

I know that some of what I have said and some of what we will discuss today is harder for some people more then others and to that I say, do your best, in each moment, whatever your best is showing up like for you. Reach out – there is healing and holding in connection.

We are here – sending love and support.

Let’s talk about fear…

Fear and anxiety are attempts to get our attention so that we can overcome, heal, grow, and move forward in life. The longer we avoid their nudging, the louder and messier they become. When we can bring our awareness to that which calls our attention, instead of fighting or fleeing, we are drawn into health, freedom, and courage.Fear and the neuroscience behind our responses to it can help us put into context what we may be experiencing currently with COVID19 or what we have experienced in the past.

Fear response is a reaction to a threat perceived unconsciously or consciously in the amygdala that triggers a fight, flight, or freeze response. Amygdala is situated in the limbic system, the amygdala consists of two almond shaped structures that set off the sympathetic nervous system’s stress response  Amygdala reactions play a role in implicit processing of emotion (especially fear) and memory.Fight, Flight, or Freeze response is a rapid sympathetic nervous system reaction to threats or stressors.  The body is prepared for defence or escape by norepinephrine and epinephrine release.Norepinephrine is a stress hormone central in the maintenance of alert-ness, drive, and motivation.  Integral to the fight, flight, or freeze response, it directly increases heart rate, triggering the release of glucose from energy stores and increasing blood flow to skeletal muscles.Epinephrine / adrenaline is a neurotransmitter released by the sympathetic nerves and the adrenal gland’s medulla.  Epinephrine mobilizes fight, flight, or freeze response by accelerating body responses that facilitate emergency functioning while decelerating nonemergency functions.  Short term (acute) stress response Rapid fight, flight, or freeze reactions to threats and/or stressors that galvanize the body for instant action. It also shuts down unnecessary bodily functions. Long term (chronic) stress response is a slow, more sustainable endocrine response to threats and stressors.  This reaction modifies body functioning so that ongoing stress or survival challenges can be managed.

Hass-Cohen, N., & Findlay, J. C. (2015). Art therapy and the neuroscience of relationships, creativity, and resiliency: Skills and practices (Norton series on interpersonal neurobiology). W. W. Norton & Company.

The emotional response to fear is highly personalized.

Fear is incredibly complex. Some fears may be a result of experiences or trauma, while others may represent a fear of something else entirely, such as a loss of control. Still, other fears may occur because they cause physical symptoms, such as being afrai

What is Numa Breathwork?It’s a transformational psychosomatic practice that weaves together the power of conscious breathwork, somatic movement explorations, mindful somatic inquiry, and sound.   What issues do people come with that could benefit from this work? What is the typical end results after a session?People come to Numa Breathwork to assist in resolving a wide variety […]

What is Numa Breathwork?It’s a transformational psychosomatic practice that weaves together the power of conscious breathwork, somatic movement explorations, mindful somatic inquiry, and sound.  

What issues do people come with that could benefit from this work? What is the typical end results after a session?People come to Numa Breathwork to assist in resolving a wide variety of mental, emotional and physical concerns. Some examples are:

• Restricted breathing – perhaps due to held stress, repressed emotions, and unconscious beliefs,• They seem to keep repeating same patterns in life and don’t know why,• Seeking a body-based compliment to talk therapy or coaching,• People who have experienced traumaticevents (I.e. surgery, accident, violence, intergenerational trauma, birth process) or not processing difficult life events (I.e. loss) and sense that the residue from these events are limiting their daily life.• People who are curious to explore what lies beneath the surface of their thinking mind and want to explore their subconscious and the wisdom of their bodies.The results really vary for everyone and are can be quite different at each session. Generally, people experience things such as sensations in their body, realization of subconscious material, insight into the way things are, integration and resolution of events, and release of stored stress and emotions.  

What does the process look like – how do you help someone who is new to the process?After reviewing intake information, a client is invited to lay on a comfortable surface and breathe in a conscious, connected breath pattern (vibrant inhale, relaxed exhale, no pause or gaps). I observe the person’s breathing for tension patterns and (with permission), provide gentle touch and related affirmations. Recorded music, and mindful somatic inquiry are used to assist the process.My role is to create and maintain a safe container for a person’s unique process and hold space for whatever arises.  Although I act as a guide, I’m following the client’s body cues or what they report to me during the process.

Often, clients enter a non-ordinary state of consciousness whereby they are able to have a variety of experiences (I.e. sensations, visions, memory recall, emotional release) that they wouldn’t experience in their regular everyday consciousness.  Part of my role is to keep them aware and present, greeting whatever arises with curiosity.

Are there precautions? What if I am recovering from trauma?Yes there are precautions (read more on my website: joysomatics.ca). Gentlermodifications (I.e. nasal breathing instead of open mouth breathing, music/sound choices, use of somatic inquiry instead of breathwork, shorter breathwork durations etc.) are used for those with certain health conditions and sensitivities. I recommend that people who are recovering from PTSD/cPTSD and serious childhood adverse events to also work with a counsellor or psychotherapist trained in trauma.

What are the benefits and what are people most surprised by?Some people (especially the first time), may simply experience relaxedbreathing and sensations in body with some emotional/tension release as they get used to the practice, learn to let go and trust their body’s wisdom. However, people are often surprised by:

• (During the process itself):o Dream-like visualizationso Realizations of subconscious material – things they didn’t realize they were holding inside and the power of acknowledging what is there,o The permission and encouragement they receive,o Strong sensations, trembling in their body (not everyone experiences this)o Profound experiences that can lead to insight, integration and transformation of challenging events in their life.

• (After the process):o The resolve that comes from letting out emotions, saying/shouting it out loud, or completing actions.o Shifts in perspective, a sense of space around past events and/or current circumstances,o I