Holy crap there are right wing extremist furries. Two prosecutors resigned from NYC’s case against Trump. Russia is set to invade Ukraine. China rebuffed comparisons to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine to their occupation of Taiwan. The Crabs played clips of former SNL cast member Jim Breuer doing cringe worthy stand up on a horrific right wing entertainment tour. Antiemetic broadcaster Stew Peters was super mad over being booted from Spotify. A loony preacher called for a mass government shutdown over CRT. An Ohio GOP Senatorial candidate made bizarre statements about slavery. Repub Marjorie Taylor Greene was a guest on Infowars and the crap Rep from Georgia called for violence over a nonbinary person acting as a camp chaperone. A pastor lost the lease on his church because he was busting out hate speech. The UK sent weapons to Ukraine. A Christian lawmaker resigned after inappropriate pics of colleagues were found on his PC.

Trump and his GOP droolers are totally team Putin, with the former guy calling the Russian leader's Ukraine tactics "genius." Biden sanctioned Russia for invading Ukraine. Former US Ambassador to Ukraine Fiona Hill said Trump paved the way for Putin’s invasion. Germany blocked the production of a natural gas pipeline from Russia over sending troops into Ukraine. SCOTUS said Shitler must turn over docs relating to the insurrection to the January 6th Committee. A gun maker unveiled a tiny version of the AR15 marketed to young kids. Florida Senator Rick Scott did his party no favors by rattling off their facial agenda. A bill in Florida requires teachers to report potentially gay students to their parents. The racist thugs who murdered Ahmaud Arbery were convicted of hate crimes. Pillow Himmler AKA Mike Lindell tore into FOX News for not promoting COVID disinformation. An Arizona bill proposes to outlaw the filming of cops.

Joe Manchin’s plan to increase child poverty 40% was a resounding success. The presidential archival folks confirmed Trump absconded with top secret docs after leaving the White House. Governor Noem from South Dakota showed robot like emotions when asked about children dealing with anxiety. Pastor loon Greg Locke said he wasn’t trying to draw attention from a potential sex scandal with his witch-hunt.  The Crabs reviewed the rhetoric of a terrifying fascistic activist because it’s a day ending in “y.” The Republic of Florida passed repressive forced birth legislation without a rape or incest exemption. Texas did some questionable crap with their mail-in ballot requests. HBCUs have continued to receive regular bomb threats.

 

A Judge ruled Trump and his spawn must give depositions to Leticia James. Texas is suing Murica over mask mandates at airports. The lawyer at the center of the Durham case asked to have the criminal charges tossed. Fascist old man yelling at clouds Lou Dobbs squirted over the idea of Jim Jordan assuming the position of Speaker. A ton of Austin cops were sued over their abusive treatment of protesters at the Black Lives Matter protests. Florida Governor DeathSantis crushed Texas governor Abbott in a 2024 presidential poll in Texas. Totalitarian load Charlie Kirk likened a restaurant asking for your vaccination status to Nazi Germany. Fox-bot Maria Bartiromo connects anything in the news to Hillary. Shitler’s social media platform might not be free. Cops in Idaho shot a person to death who was threatening to stab himself. Jailbait enthusiast Ted Nugent let the planet know he will join the US anti-vaxxer trucker protest.

Rudy Giuliani's evidence to take down Hillary is in his bedroom. In news that is very sad, Crappy FLOTUS aka Melania had her own company buy her NFT.  We don’t know much about long COVID even though tons are struggling with it. Radical right pastor Greg Locke lorded over a book burning. Fascist pillow czar Lindell tried to deliver pillows and “Bible-pillows” to protesting truckers but was thwarted due to his vaccination status. The Chinese billionaire backing Bannon’s Nazi crap is going broke and on the run. A shark took out a swimmer near Sydney, Australia. A Florida woman used a PPP loan to pay a hit man. Evil GOP cretin Wendy Rogers is pushing the big lie to get elected in Arizona. The Great Resignation has lead to rich dudes quitting. Trump’s Secretary of Interior used his position in Shitler’s administration to strike a land deal and a brewery. Finally, the Crabs learned all about the glorious genre of cowboy metal porno music after hearing it used against trucker antivaxxers at the border.

Trump’s crooked spawn are under investigation for missing inaugural money. Biden made headway diplomatically with Russia regarding Ukraine. Creepy Prince Andrew settled with his victim Virginia Giuffre. Florida Kraken Rick Scott held up the USPS bailout package over a clerical error. Conspiracy theorists have made extremist killings shoot up. A stowaway snake caused a plane to reroute. A swimmer sucked offshore by a rip current was attacked by a shark. Speaking of shark maulings, Florida leads in this category. Threats upon educators and school board members are on the the rise thanks to MAGATS. Abortions aren’t available in fascist Texas so people needing that service must go to Oklahoma. Lunatic Mike Lindell called out Giraldo accusing the FOX host of promoting crack use. Wanker legislator, Marsha Blackburn, perpetuated the myth about the White House handing out crack pipes.

Trump’s accounting firm dumped him and disapproved 10 years of his financial filings. Fascist Charlie Kirk and Trumpkin Sean Spicer lost their marbles over the Super Bowl Halftime Show. One of them even called the event “sexual anarchy.” The ninnies of the New York Post threw a fit because Snoop toked up before performing at halftime. Putin might be posturing for a better negotiating a stronger position with NATO with their massive troop buildup at the border. A mayor resigned over his fear newly approved ice fishing shanties would lead to an outbreak of hooking. Students rights were violated when they were forced to attend a religious assembly during school. The Trump appointed prosecutor won’t indict Hillary because there’s nothing to indict over. Tesla will zero in taxes. Disney’s Minnie Mouse appeared in a pantsuit rather than her typical Minnie skirt and conserv-a-kooks lost their minds. The Crabs reviewed the idiotic furry-panic gripping mentally challenged parents of school age children.

Putin-loving Republicans really want Russia to invade Ukraine to make Joe Biden look bad. A state of emergency was declared in Ottawa due to those moronic, antivax truckers. Mississippi mega-MAGA loony pastor Shane Vaughn proclaimed Mike Pence "worse than Judas Iscariot" for not supporting Trump's attempted coup. Scientists believe they have found a third planet orbiting our nearest star neighbor. Ninnies are worried that Elon Musk's Neuralink brain chips will give people orgasms on demand. Goose stepping governor Ron DeSantis drew his own unconstitutional, insanely-gerrymandered districts map to help the GOP further disenfranchise black Florida voters. A couple of drooling racist scumbags chased and fired shots at a FedEx driver for being Black in their Mississippi neighborhood. Republicans are totally embracing their racism for the midterm elections.

Trump clogged White House toilets with the ripped up papers he didn’t eat per a new book coming out by Maggie Haberman. Shitler is reportedly terrified of Maggie’s book. Comedian Bob Saget died from bumping his head. The Mein Pillow Nazi threatened to hack Hannity’s stream and take it over. Meathead Joe Rogan said no to the racist video platform Rumble’s offer for his content. The GOP candidate for Cali Secretary of State said Black Lives Matter is evil at its core and it’s ran by witches. A Portland, Tennessee Aldermen admitted to saying the N word. According to a poll, Republicans think the NFL is supporting black players too much. Cops redacted lots of text from a police report involving a gun, Herschel Walker and his girlfriend. Due to the 14th Amendment, Madison Cawthorn may not be able to run for office. Crappy FLOTUS Melania announced she’s exclusively on Parlor despite her hubby hosting a competing social media platform.

GOP troll Marjorie Taylor Greene is sick of the gazpacho police. The angry orange fascist said Cocaine Mitch doesn’t speak for the GOP after the Minority Leader referred to the tourists as violent insurrectionists. We learned the former Mayor of New York with the melting hair demanded Arizona’s voting machines after the election. Brotastic fascist Tucker Carlson claimed progressives were murdering white people. Fauci said we should stick with masks even though he thinks we are at the end of this Rona crap. Iran unveiled a brand new missile that’s super good at blowing up crap. Some rural areas in Murica are getting rid of first responders like EMTs because it’s not in the budget. The people of Rotterdam plan to egg Bezos’s mega yacht as it passes through a waterway that once e boasted a historic bridge. Omicron has killed a ton of unvaccinated folk. An evangelical podcaster claimed he could translate CNN headlines. Pillow Nazi Lindell gave an update on the big lie. A town in Minnesota is worried ice fishing shanties could also serve as brothers.