Happy holidays everyone, it’s me, Katie Goldin, your host of many parasites! On this two-part holiday special, we’ll be creating our own non-denominational holiday using evolutionary biology to make this magical time of year scientifically accurate! We’ll make our own, better Santa out of animal DNA, learning about these animals along the way! With special guest Jamie Loftus of the Bechdel Cast.

FOOTNOTES:

1. Hydra, an immortal wiener with tentacles
2. Quetzalcoatlus northropi
3. Peregrin falcon dive
4. Elephants never forget
5. Dolphins remember their friends
6. Crows hold eternal grudges
7. Ravens remember who's naughty and who's nice
8. Blue whales win at having a jolly belly
9. Howler monkey chorus
10. Gorilla getting tickled via Cell Press
11. Chimp laughing on the BBC

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Today we'll be talking about how animals prepare for winter! From hibernation, to magical wardrobe changes, to cryogenic freezing! Discover this and more as we answer the age old question: when, if ever, is the right time to breathe through your butt? With special guest Caitlin Durante of the Bechdel Cast.

FOOTNOTES:

1. My frozen bear heart
2. Calendar cells
3. Arctic fox faceplanting into snow
4. Arctic fox's awkward wardrobe malfunctions
5. Arctic fox shedding its coat
6. Ancient snow goggles
7. Frozen wood frog
8. Siberian salamander
9. Painted turtles breathe through their butts
10. Wild Yakut horses
11. MORE. FLUFFY. HORSES
12. Kulning video by Jonna Jinton

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Today on the show, Gobble Gobble! No, we’re not talking about turkeys this time, but the weird and wild eating behaviors of people and animals! We’re talking gluttonous grubs who gobble on gastropods, animals who store their leftovers like they’re leatherface on steroids, animal chefs and foodies with very peculiar tastes. Discover these animals and more as we answer the age old question: is eating civet poop a crappy thing to do? With special guests Anney Reese and Lauren Vogelbaum of the Savor podcast. 

FOOTNOTES:

1. Capuchins cracking open nuts
2. Baby ants making vomit soup for their caretakers
3. Catching Fire: How Cooking Makes Us Human
4. The Killer Shrews (1959)
5. Murderous fur-tube (Blarina brevicauda shrew)
6. Killer caterpillars (not from outer space)
7. Elanora's Falcons use live food-prisons
8. Early humans stored bone marrow
9. Fish-eye fluke
10. Shark-eye parasite
11. Beware eye-eating amoebas
12. Asian palm civet
13. The problem with Kopi Luwak
14. Fuzzy baby t-rex!

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Welcome to domestication station as we talk about the weird and wild world of artificial selection! Giant chickens, turkeys, swole cows, oh my. Discover these animals and more as we answer the age old question: if Arnold Schwarzenegger was a chicken, what would he look like? With special guest David Bell.

FOOTNOTES:

1. Dong tao chicken
2. ko shamo chicken
3. English pouter
4. Silkie chickens
5. Frizzle chicken
6. Serama "Arnold Schwarzenegger" chicken
7. Ayam cemani "goth chicken"
8. What really killed the dodo?
9. Mangalitza pig
10. Belgian blue cow
11. Damascus goat

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Today we’re talking about virtual reality, but ditch those computer goggles and just listen with your brain meats, because we’re talking about a more organic, squishy form of virtual reality. What happens when the human or animal brain takes some creative license? Or when your own hand rebels against you? Discover this and more as we answer the age-old question: if you call a fish four-eyes, is that science or just bullying? With special guest Anna Salinas.

FOOTNOTES:

1. Find your blindspot
2. Blindspot studies
3. Rats can move each eye independently
4. Experience rat vision!
5. Pacific barreleye fish's transparent head!
6. The brownsnout spookfish's four eyes
7. The brownsnout spookfish looking like some kind of fake Jim Henson puppet 
8. Kitty with possible signs of phantom limb
9. Crab self-amputating to escape gull
10. Mirror therapy reorganizes brain
11. Can animals understand mirrors?
12. What happens when you poke the fusiform gyrus
13. Horses hold grudges
14. You aren't crazy, dogs ham it up just for you
15. Wasps know a friendly face
16. Bee orchid trying to seduce bees with sexy bee shape
17. Monkey orchids
18. Beautiful crab spider mimics flower
19. The completely unreal looking orchid mantis

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Today on the show, PLAYTIME! It’s time to have fun in the sun, or the sea, or, you know, in a rotting carcass or whatever! Dogs fetch balls, rats giggle with glee when you tickle them, birds like to snowboard, spiders like to fool around… wait, spiders? We’re going to talk about all the animals who love to play, and the list is more extensive than you may think. With special guest Kimia Behpoornia.

FOOTNOTES:

1. Beluga playing rugby video
2. Beluga noises
3. Beluga sounding very much like a foghorn/crow/sea turkey
4. Wolf puppies play fetch 
5. Geckos play in space, spiders flirt with each other
6. The tale of "Pigface" the softshell turtle
7. Video of African softshell turtle
8. Rats getting tickles!
9. Crocodiles playing 
10. Birds like to play! 
11. CROWBOARDING!! 
12. SWAN SURFING!! 
13. Rescue owl playing with cat toys 
14. Dolphins yeet fish out of the water 
15. Absolute unit of a cat runs onto football field
16. Lion plays with a dead warthog (warning: warthog dismemberment, kinda gross) 
17. Lion playing with antelope prey (warning: no gore, but still sad/disturbing) 
18. Young hippo playing with a crocodile! 
19. Hippo and hyena sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G  

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Today on the show, we’re talking about animals who are BACK FROM THE DEAD! Animals who were previously thought to be gone from the face of the earth get rediscovered: reports of these animals’ extinction have been greatly exaggerated. With special guest Forrest Galante from Animal Planet's Extinct or Alive.

1. Extinct or Alive TV show
2. The Pinocchio Lizard
3. The Horned Frog
4. Giant Extinct Crocodiles
5. Thylacosmilus was a Bit of a Doof
6. Gastric Brooding Frog
7. A Case for De-Extinction
8. A Case Against De-Extinction
9. The Saola

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Happy Creatureween everyone! Today on the show, it’s a Monster Mash! All the classic horror movie monsters, brought to life through the very real world of science! We’re looking at animals who can truly call themselves Dracula, real life Frankenstein’s monsters, and ghoOOost sharks! Discover this and more as we answer the age old question: can a dog lick you to death? With special guest Jamie Loftus.

FOOTNOTES:

1. Halloween crab & halloween snake
2. Dramatic emo vampire squid
3. Vampire finch
4. Dracula ants
5. Doggy licks of death
6. Serial killer kitties love human blood
7. Lions of Tsavo
8. (TRIGGER WARNING: ANIMAL CRUELTY) Experiments in the Revival of Organisms
9. Slightly suspect TedX talk using bananas as models for human head transplants
10. Pig brains being reanimated
11. Gator pops
12. Ghost Shark 2013 movie
13. The real "ghost shark," a deep sea cutie pie
14. Ring tailed lemur
15. Black and white ruffed lemur

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We love horror movies and horror stories, but when it comes to pure blood-curdling terror, there’s no competing with mother nature. We’ll compare some classic horror tropes to their real-life counterparts, and let me tell ya: when it comes to evolution, the director’s cut holds nothing back. Parasites that contort your body and mind to their will, evil flowers and even more evil worms! With special guest Emily Yoshida of the Night Call Podcast.

FOOTNOTES:

1. Video of leucochloridium paradoxum
2. Our DNA stealing friend, the delloid rotifer
3. Carrion beetles staying calm and carrion
4. Everyone welcome onto the U.S.S carrion beetle
5. A hot, young David Attenborough explains the corpse lily
6. A parasitic hairworm noodling its way out of a cricket (warning: gross)
7. Russian nesting worms
8. Eyebleach: cat discovering its own ears

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Today on the show, SUPERSTITION! Black cats, crows, ravens, and a mysterious demonic monster… where do superstitions come from? What are the facts behind the superstition? And are crows really conspiring against us. Discover this and more as we answer the age-old question, do satanists like to kiss cat butt? With special guest Joey Clift.

FOOTNOTES:

1. 50% of polled Americans are superstitious

2. The Papal Bull behind black cat superstition

3. Kattenstoet cat parade in Ypres, Belgium!!

4. The legend of the Catsith

5. Do satanists sacrifice black cats on Halloween, probably not

6. Black cat's protective fur

7. BF Skinner's pigeon experiment

8. Study: Ravens can make complex plans

9. Ravens can talk!

10. This raven can talk too!

11. The aye aye hunting

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