Crow's Feet: Life As We Age

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"Skilled nursing facility." "Post-acute care facility." "Rehabilitation hospital." Whatever they're called, they all mean the same thing: what most of us think of as a nursing home. The time may come when you or someone you love needs that level of care — and that need can be sudden, like after a fall or accident.

When that happens, you can end up in a whole new world that operates by different rules — rules that may not be explained to you. That's why you'll want to listen as host Jan M Flynn chats with our returning guest, elder care manager and consultant Kira Reginato.

As an elder care manager and consultant, Kira has served hundreds of older adults and their families in a variety of settings: hospitals, residential care and skilled nursing facilities, hospices, Alzheimer’s adult day care programs and Meals on Wheels. 

 Kira is the author of the book "Tips for Helping Your Aging Parents… without losing your mind." 

We'll also hear from Dorothy Guajardo, another elder care specialist and owner of A to Z Gerontology serving Sonoma and Marin counties in California. She has some eye-opening stories about what can happen when nursing home patients or their loved ones don't know their rights.

So stay tuned — because when it comes to nursing homes, what you don't know can hurt you.

Show Notes

For more information about Kira Reginato, visit her website at www.Callkira.com  and check out her YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyO7atbCToRbKmnFI6EZGAg

Kira is the author of the book Tips for Helping Your Aging Parents...Without Losing Your Mind – click the link to purchase a copy.

To learn more about Dorothy Guajardo and the services she provides, visit A to Z Gerontoloty at https://atozgerontology.com/about-us/

Interested in finding a care manager for yourself or your family? Visit the national Aging Life Care organization at www.Aginglifecare.org

Find an Ombudsman in your state: The National Association of State Long-Term Care Ombudsman Programs (NASOP) is a nonprofit organization that was formed in 1985. NASOP is composed of state long-term care ombudsmen representing their state programs created by the Older Americans Act: https://www.nasop.org/

Or contact the National Long-Term Care Ombudsman Resource Center (NORC) by going to: https://ltcombudsman.org/

The National Long-Term Care Ombudsman Resource Center (NORC) provides support, technical assistance, and training to the 53 State Long-Term Care Ombudsman Programs and their statewide networks.

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Whether you’ve been with your significant other for one year or 50, you know that successful relationships aren’t always a bed of roses—both people have to work at it! How do we keep love alive and thriving, especially as we age, when our bodies, our work, our family situations, and our personal needs are changing?

In this special Valentine’s episode, you’ll hear from a veritable Whitman’s Sampler of Crow’s Feet writers, listeners, and relationship experts—all sharing advice about how not to lose that loving feeling, no matter how long you’ve been together—no matter how much life has thrown your way.

Featured guest contributors: Dr. Frank Powers and Dr. Gloria Horsley, Dr. Dale Atkins, Melinda Blau, Patricia Thornton, Joe Franklin, Kerry Kramer, Carole Olsen, Mel Schlesinger, Lisa Alexander, Beth Bruno, Catherine Dunn-Gilbert, J. Michael Flynn, and Mary McGrath. Guest readers: Jane Trombley and Rich Halten.

Want more from this episode’s guests? Visit the following links:

Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Frank Powers:

 • Featured in the February 14 2024 Crow’s Feet podcast

 •Authors of Open to Love: The Secrets of Senior Dating

Dr. Dale Atkins:

 • Featured in the December 25 2024 Crow’s Feet podcast

 • Author of The Kindness Advantage: Cultivating Compassionate and Connected Children

Melinda Blau:

 • Author of The Wisdom Whisperers: Golden Guides to a Long Life of Grit, Grace, and Laughter

 • On Medium

Patricia Thornton, Ph.D.:

 • Featured in the January 8 2025 Crow’s Feet podcast

 • On Medium

Kerry Kramer:

 • On Medium

Carole Olsen:

 • On Medium

Mel Schlesinger:

 • On Medium

Lisa Alexander:

 • On Medium

Beth Bruno:

 • On Medium

Catherine Dunn-Gilbert:

 • On Medium

Mary McGrath:

 • On Medium

Share your thoughts with us:

NPR video on how to record and send your comments on the show. At the end, instead of sending to NPR, email your comment to [email protected]. Or text to 404

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Beauty fads come and go. Today, you can choose from Derma-planing, CO2 laser resurfacing, Mesotherapy injections, Exosomes and.....BOVINE COLOSTRUM? Do any of these work or are we just f-ing up our faces? Meet Valerie Monroe, former Beauty Director of “O”, “The Oprah Magazine” and author of the popular “Don’t F*ck Up Your Face” on Substack. In this episode, Monroe talks about what works, what doesn’t, and what it really means to age “beautifully,” including the most important, and affordable, beauty product you can put on your face. This is for anyone who’s looked in a mirror and asked “WTF?!”

Here's an NPR video on how to record and send your comments on the show. 
But at the end, instead of sending to NPR, email your comment to [email protected]. Or text to 404-786-3605.

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That’s what psychologist and “dating anthropologist” Patricia Thornton, Ph.D., considered when she re-entered the dating scene after a divorce. In this episode, hosted by Nancy Franklin, we learn about Thornton’s experiences dating more than 150 men and whether or not she eventually hired a male escort. Thornton offers great advice for elders reentering the dating scene, including dating outside the lines, and even embracing unconventional relationships.

NPR video on how to record and send your comments on the show. 
But at the end, instead of sending to NPR, email your comment to [email protected]. Or text to 404-786-3605.

Music in this episode includes a selection from Tech Oasis on Pixabay.

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In this episode, Dr. Dale Atkins talks with Jan M Flynn about something many of us would love to see more of in our communities, nation, and world: Kindness. More specifically, what authentic kindness means, and how it can show up in deeper and richer ways as we age — and how that can contribute to a kinder world for us all.

Based in New York City, Dale Atkins is a licensed psychologist with more than 40 years experience as a relationship expert focusing on families, wellness, managing stress, and living a balanced, meaningful life. Author of seven books and many chapters, articles, and journals for popular and professional audiences, Dale is a featured speaker who lectures and leads seminars worldwide. She has appeared regularly on NBC’s TODAY and CNN. Dale has a private psychology practice in New York City and has been a member of, and advisor to, several nonprofit boards, including Jumpstart for Young Children, from which she recently retired after serving twenty-two years, since its founding. She has two children and six grandchildren, and lives in Connecticut.

Show note links: 

Dr. Dale Atkins website: https://www.drdaleatkins.com/

Nature Walk Talks by Dale Atkins

Books by Dr. Atkins:

The Kindness Advantage: Cultivating Compassionate and Connected Children
https://www.drdaleatkins.com/the-kindness-advantage-book/

Sanity Savers: Tips For Women To Live a Balanced Life
https://www.drdaleatkins.com/sanity-savers-book/

Wedding Sanity Savers: How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes, and Questions That Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Dayhttps://www.drdaleatkins.com/wedding-sanity-savers-book/

I’m OK, You’re My Parents: How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works
https://www.drdaleatkins.com/im-ok-youre-my-parents-book/

Sisters
https://www.drdaleatkins.com/sisters-book/

From the Heart: Men and Women Write Their Private Thoughts About Their Married Lives
https://www.drdaleatkins.com/from-the-heart-book/

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It’s a gift to let your family and other loved ones know what to do when you’re gone and what you want done with everything from pets to possessions. But where to start – and how to make that happen? One answer: Rusty Rosman’s “Two Envelopes” – a way to preserve “your voice” and let others know your wishes.

In this anecdote-packed episodes, Rusty Rosman tells all-too-familiar stories about how we tend to avoid the difficult topic of dying and the chaos that comes of not-planning.  After all, we all have an expiration date...as host Melinda Blau puts it, “at least until there’s a cure for mortality!” In the meantime, it behooves us to each leave behind a roadmap for our loved ones.  

Rusty wrote her book, "Two Envelopes", as a guide to get us started navigating the practical and emotional complexities of end-of-life planning. She stresses that "Two Envelopes is not a workbook or a filing system! It's a guide to personal reflections and conversations you'll have with your loved ones. As you prepare your envelopes, you'll be ensuring that your voice, your wishes, continue to guide your loved ones after your death." 

"Two Envelopes" is available on Amazon and other booksellers. If you'd like to connect with Rusty, go to her website or email: [email protected].

Thanks to comedian Susan Rice for allowing Crow’s Feet to feature one of her Don’t Tell Comedy YouTube clips in our intro. Over the last 42 years, Susan has honed her craft at major comedy clubs around the country. In 2024 at the age of 72, she filmed her first 45 min special called "Silver Alert!" Read more about Susan on her website or listen to her podcast with Art Krug, “Stop Me If I’ve Heard This!” 

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In these weeks before the holidays, Mother Nature, the daily news, sometimes our own families, can seem to conspire to drive us all batty. In this podcast, we serve up a feast of useful suggestions for keeping it together in these turbulent times. Join host Jean Feldeisen and a Bakers Dozen Crows Feet Readers and Writers as they share their secrets for resilience and taking care of themselves.

Show Notes & Links:

Melinda Blau talked with Ellen Langer, Psychologist and Harvard Professor in this episode from 9/27/23.
Learn more about Ellen at ellenlanger.me

Barbara Biziou, Spiritual Alignment coach, Motivational Speaker and Ritual Expert.
Listen to Jean's interview with Barbara on August 9, 2023

Hear Patricia Ross on our episode from 7-26-23 with Melinda Blau.

Contact writing coach Roz Warren at [email protected].

We promised a link to this Mayo clinic article about laughter.

Voices heard from our Crows Feet Community:

Jean Feldeisen
Nancy Franklin
Bruce Murray
Carole Olsen
Chris (who didn’t leave her last name)
Lee J. Bentch
Mary McGrath
Gail Knapik
Jan M. Flynn  
Orren Onken
Betsy Sweet

Music in this episode includes works from Pixabay.com by Nicholas Panek and Christoph Scholl.

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How do we remember our past? What stories do we tell ourselves that become ingrained as memories even though the stories might not be real? 

Author, memoirist, and septuagenarian Jonathan Lerner sits down with Jane Trombley to reveal discoveries about his teen years outside Washington DC as he researched for his latest memoir, Performance Anxiety. Some of the stories he recalled didn’t quite line up with reality, a discovery that caught him by surprise. 

Jonathan also talks about his earlier memoir, Swords in the Hands of Children, chronicling his early adult years as he dropped out of college, joined the anti-war movement and the militant Weather Underground organization. It took him nearly thirty years to process the experience, and gain enough distance to write a successful memoir, despite easy access to public archival material, early manuscripts and recorded interviews with former colleagues. Swords was published in early 2017. 

What is the upshot of delving into long-ago memories? As Jonathan says, “The result can be a kind of peacemaking with yourself and self-forgiveness, (and) maybe forgiveness of someone else.”

We close with some pro tips for all us amateur memoirists looking to capture our own stories. Have a listen.

Show links:

Memoirs:

Performance Anxiety: The Headlong Adolescence of a Mid-Century Kid

Swords in the Hands of Children: Reflections of an American Revolutionary

Website:   Jonathan Lerner

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Music in this episode includes: Blue dot-Jane & Jon Lumber Down by Blue Dot Sessions

Music by Vlad Krotov from Pixabay

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Pull up a seat! It’s time to get in the Halloween spirit with some campfire stories.

In this special episode, Crow’s Feet writers and editors share some dark tales and memories of lore and legend just right for the season. 

Ever had an eerie experience you couldn’t explain? We’ve got a strange feeling you’re going to love “Cowbells and Ouija Boards” by Jan M. Flynn and “The Guardians of Dark Places” by C.M. Barrett (read by Jane Trombley). 

If ghost tales are more your thing, feel the goosebumps as Soozie Campbell tells “A Chilling Story” and Crow’s Feet founder Nancy Peckenham spins a tale about her great-great grandparents, “Margaret and Christopher.” 

The holiday wouldn’t be complete without a creature double feature! Two pieces – “The Werewolf of Defiance, Ohio” by Betsy Allen and “The Jersey Devil,” a poem by Jean Feldeisen – just might have you looking over your shoulder. 

And because we can’t resist leaving you with a smile, we treat you to a fun spooky season memory: “Gomez Addams and the Pumpkin Caper” by Nancy Franklin. 

Enjoy our show and Happy Halloween!

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Neil Offen doesn't necessarily believe that aging "sucks." He just believes there are things you can do to make it less "sucky." Like spending more time on the floor so if you fall, you're falling from less high up. Or exercising by lifting two glasses of wine, one in each hand, for several repetitions. Or challenging yourself by taking up a new hobby, like neurosurgery. After all, a man's reach must exceed his grasp or what's a step stool for? Join Neil and host, Nancy Franklin, for other helpful, and funny, tips on aging.

Neal's book, "Building a Better Boomer" is available on Amazon and lots of other places online as well as brick & mortar bookstores.

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