Crow's Feet: Life As We Age

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Employment to age 65 used to be a given. If not a career run at the same company, non-profit, or government agency, a worker armed with a skillset and expertise honed over decades could be reasonably assured that the acquired knowledge remained marketable. 

Recently, that assumption has been turned on its head, especially in the technology sector. But there is also opportunity.

Here are three stories about being laid off at 55+ and finding the “what’s next.” 

• Krista was a 25-year veteran in software management at a major healthcare insurance company. She was months away from eligibility for Medicare when her job was suddenly sent to India. Her “what’s next” was a scramble for short-term health coverage. 
• Mike was trained in User Experience (UX), attaining a master’s degree in the field in 2004. After 18 years, he was laid off in his late 50s.  His “what’s next”? Broaden his skill set, strategically update his resume, and pledge loyalty as he seeks his next employer.  
• Lee, at 71, brings a long history of career adaptation. He transitioned from sales to technical research and writing in his late 60s; he now works in AI content curation for a Global Top 10 tech corporation. 

Link Mike’s Medium article:

https://medium.com/crows-feet/i-may-never-find-a-full-time-job-again-one-year-update-e73fbc51af3f

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At 68, Lee Bentch doesn’t fit the stereotype. He’s still working, and after his day job, he cooks dinner for his five grandchildren and daughter. Lee is one of more than a million grandparents helping to raise their grandkids, and he’s also a Crow’s Feet writer. In this episode he tells us how he manages to plan and cook healthy meals seven days a week. Lee is interviewed by Jean Feldeisen, another Crow’s Feet writer, therapist and grandmother. Join her as she discovers how the multigeneration household enriches Lee’s life, and how the grandchildren’s presence, filled with love and caring, extended his wife’s life.

This episode originally aired June 15, 2022.

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Join host Jan M. Flynn in conversation with Lenore Guido, Bereavement Coordinator for a New Jersey hospice program, who has a private counseling practice focusing on compassionate grief care. Grief is something we often shy away from thinking about, but it’s also something we’ll all experience. Lenore, who is drawing on more than 45 years’ experience in the field to write a book on healing from loss, shares a perspective both clear-eyed and hopeful. There is, she says, life after loss — and even joy. 

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Award-winning author Melinda Blau talks with Crow’s Feet writer Warren Turner about the women she calls her “old ladies,” people who inspire her to squeeze the most out of life in her own late 70s. Meet Zelda, who played tennis until she was 99 and who still got a kick out of telling dirty jokes. Or Marge, a financial whiz at 104, who laughed as she pushed around her Rollator. Listen in as we learn what matters is not how old you are, but how you are old.

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The Living Apart Together (LAT) lifestyle choice is gaining traction among both married and unmarried couples, especially older folks ready for a bond beyond the traditional. 

The LAT framework is predicated on three pillars: 1/The couple agrees that they are a committed romantic couple. 2/ Others view them as a committed romantic couple, and, 3/ they live in separate places.

This episode is a deep dive into LAT featuring two relationship experts: Vicki Larson and Melinda Blau, award-winning journalists and authors. Vicki has written on the ageist and sexist narratives women face in the context of relationships. Her most recent book, LATitude: How You Can Make a Live Apart Together Relationship Work, explores the many iterations and paradoxes surrounding the LAT lifestyle. 

Melinda Blau, with 16 books on relationships to her credit, claims, “If you’re good at relationships, you’re good at life.”  Her three-decades-long LAT relationship is a testimony to that conviction.

Show Notes

Vicki's LATitude book on Amazon.

All books written by Vicki Larson.

Vicki's website.

Melinda Blau's Amazon page with all of her books, including her latest, "The Wisdom Whisperers: Golden Guides to a Long Life of Grit, Grace, and Laughter."

Music in this episode includes Lemon Jelly by T.J. Collie and Our Only Lark by Bitters, both from Blue Dot Sessions.

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Prolific author and lover of “old ladies” Melinda Blau hosts an unprecedented mother/daughter conversation with “America’s gerontologist” Kerry Burnight, her 96-year-old mother Betty, and Melinda’s daughter Jennifer Martin, a hospice nurse. The four discuss complexities of the mother-daughter duo as both age – role shifts, stumbling blocks and challenges, the need to simultaneously stay connected and draw boundaries.

The episode is dotted with clips of Betty sharing her strategies for living exuberantly into her nineties. Kerry’s videos of her everyday moments and thoughts have made Betty a burgeoning Instagram star – and that’s okay with her. “I'm just thrilled with the fact that she is so popular. She's my baby!”

Jennifer admits that as a young mother, being the daughter of a parenting expert was “challenging…similar to Betty having a daughter who's gerontologist!” But because of her own aging, her father’s recent death, and her professional role helping patients and their families face end-of-life realities, Jen has a new appreciation of Melinda's life and choices. 

One hopeful takeaway from this lively discussion is that it’s never too late to see the other as a person, not merely “mother” or “daughter.”

Show Notes

Kerry’s website: https://drkerryburnight.com/

On Instagram: @the_gerontologist 

Kerry’s book, Joy Span, is now available for preorder online and wherever books are sold.

Enjoy this poem about mothers and daughters written by a member of the Crows Feet podcast team: https://jeanfeldeisen.com/blog/

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Meet Susan Rice, a comedian and actress who’s bridging the generation gap through humor. You’ve probably seen her in movies, commercials and maybe your local comedy club. She calls herself “a funny old bag” and continues to do standup for audiences from Gen Z to near 90. Join Nancy Franklin as she and Susan banter about Rice’s 40-plus year career, dish about life on the road in her 70s, and being the “cool” grandmother everyone wishes they had. 

Website: susanricecomedy.com

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Binnie Klein is a Renaissance woman. At 74 she has reinvented her life time and again, from poet to psychotherapist to memoirist to songwriter, with several steps in between. 

She picked up boxing as a sport when she was 55. The red gloves in the corner of the gym caught her eye, and a memoir followed in 2010.   

A surprise phone call in 2016  triggered memories of a long-ago love, heartbreak, and the radical politics of the 1960s. A six-part audio memoir ensued. 

In this episode, she talks with host Jane Trombley about creativity being the “sustaining thing,” the essential  “nutrient” for her well-being.

Binnie started writing poetry at age eight. Childhood piano lessons laid the foundation for playing the music of the 60s on a hand-me-down guitar. In her 20s her poetry won awards and fed into her interest in becoming a psychotherapist. She has maintained a private psychotherapy practice since 1984, 

Binnie began a music and interview show on FM radio (WPKN, Bridgeport Connecticut, WPKN.org) in 1975. She’s been a DJ there ever since. 

A few years ago, a 30-something Australian songwriter sent her some material requesting airplay. They started collaborating with Binnie’s poetry and released an album, Quiver,  in 2024.  

What’s next? There is a lot in the pot. Have a listen. 

P.S. Exciting News: Binnie invites you to the In These Trees and Tartie listening party April 27, 2025, at 6 PM/Eastern, celebrating their musical collaboration and debut CD. Binnie (AKA In These Trees) will be in a live chat from Connecticut, with Tartie (Tash Anderson) from Australia! To attend this FREE event, RSVP here.   Downloads and CDs are available.

 Show Notes: 

Binnie’s  Website

Binnie's Substack: Open Tuning

 WPKN Radio Program 

Book: Blows to the Head: How Boxing Changed My Mind (SUNY Press, 2010)

Audio Memoir Ten Days in Newark, 2018

Album:  “The Quiver” 2024

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In this episode, Jean Anne Feldeisen talks with Connie Zuckerman, Managing Editor of the weekly newsletter agebuzz. In her late fifties, Connie started a small online newsletter for her circle of friends and family. Eight years later, agebuzz has grown to 50,000 subscribers.

Before agebuzz, Connie spent years as a lawyer, bioethics consultant, and writer. Her career includes studying and making decisions about issues related to aging in settings like nursing homes, care facilities, and hospitals. 

Did all that prepare her for living under the same roof with four generations of family? In the second half of the episode Connie shares her thoughts about the challenges of The Club Sandwich generation, including what it takes to make an intergenerational home work for a household with ages ranging from young kids to ninety-year olds.

Agebuzz is a weekly newsletter that pulls together all the latest information on topics of interest to older adults: nutrition, exercise, balance, fall prevention, loneliness, etc. 

The information the editors provide has been carefully curated to be reliable, useful and accessible to older adults. The material in each newsletter is easy to understand but also provides links for further research. To sign up for the free weekly newsletter, or just check out all the good info, go to agebuzz.com.

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An interview with leading Orthopedic Surgeon and Sports Medicine Expert, Alan Beyer, M.D.  As we age, our risk of falls rises, leading to the  specter of serious and debilitating injury. But we can minimize those risks with some knowledge and common-sense precautions. Join host Jan M. Flynn in conversation with Dr. Alan Beyer, the Executive Medical Director of Hoag Orthopedic Institute in Newport Beach CA and host of radio show "Doctors in the Dugout" as he talks about falls and falls prevention in older adults. 

Tell us what you think of our podcast. Please take 5 minutes to complete the survey at this link: https://bit.ly/3DtI6m1 The Crow's Feet Podcast team needs to hear from listeners like you — all responses are strictly confidential, and your opinion will help us bring you episodes that matter. Thanks in advance!

Show links:
Dr. Alan Beyer “On the Other Side of the Scalpel” video blog: https://www.hoagorthopedicinstitute.com/blog/2012/october/hip-replacement-for-the-orthopedic-surgeon-on-th/

Or watch on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQ-T9N2QZM4&t=5s

Hoag Orthopedic Institute, home page
https://www.hoagorthopedicinstitute.com/

Alan H. Beyer, M.D., Hoag Orthopedic Institute
https://www.hoagorthopedicinstitute.com/find-a-doctor/alan-h-beyer-m-d-/

"Doctor in the Dugout" (Heard on AM 830 in Southern California) https://www.am830.net/show/doctor-in-the-dugout/#:~:text=Doctor%20in%20the%20Dugout%20is,features%20special%20guests%20and%20more.

About Alan Beyer, MD, FACS

Alan H. Beyer, MD, FACS is a board-certified orthopedic surgeon specializing in sports medicine, arthroscopic surgery of the knee and total knee replacement. As one of the founding physicians of Hoag Orthopedic Institute (HOI), Dr. Beyer has held key leadership roles since 2011 and currently serves as medical director. HOI is consistently rated in the top percentile of the nation for orthopedic surgery.

Dr. Beyer graduated from Georgetown University School of Medicine. During his residency at the Hospital for Joint Diseases in New York, he became the chief resident of orthopedics and went on to complete a sports medicine fellowship at the Kerlan-Jobe Orthopedic Clinic. Dr. Beyer’s passion for sports initially led him to specializing in orthopedics and continues to drive his active lifestyle and practice today.

Dr. Beyer has published numerous papers and presentations on sports medicine and joint replacement. He is also currently involved with clinical research as the principal investigator for two studies.

Dr. Beyer hosts the weekly “Doctor in the Dugout” radio show on AM 830 KLAA, featuring keen insights and an entertaining twist on sports medicine-related topics, current injury reports special guests and more.

Dr. Beyer generously lends his expertise to many organizations, including serving on the board of the Arthritis Foundation of Orange County/Inland Empire and as the chairman and team physician for the Newport Beach Breakers. The recipient of the 2007 Vin Jorgenson Award for volunteerism at Hoag, Dr. Beyer remains an active volunteer and generous supporter of Hoag Orthopedics, the education and research organization supported by HOI physicians. His philanthropy helps support HOI’s preeminent fellowship programs in training the next generation of orthopedic surgeons. He is a past president of Hoag’s 552 Club and enjoys serving on various Hoag fundraising committees for the annual Hoag Classic golf tournament.

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