Darkseid's Couch

Darkseid's Couch

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Darkseid's Couch episodes

  • S5:E9 - X-Force No. 11 (1992)
    This time on the Couch: After an unexpected hiatus, Mike, James, and Shée try to remember how to do a podcast by discussing 1992's X-Force no. 11! In the decade of X-cess this may just have been ground zero for the most X-treme trends of the time: It's all tree trunk thighs and scratchy faces as Cable harasses a bunch of poor sewer-dwellers and Deadpool punches a woman in the face for like eight consecutive pages. It's enough poorly-drawn mayhem to turn your Hypercolor tee from blue to turquoise! The only thing higher than the body count is the ennui you'll feel when you realize how many stupid 90s kids sacrificed their time and money to buy Rob Liefeld another pair of gold-dipped Levi's.
    36 min
  • S5:E8 - The Adventures of Rex the Wonder Dog No. 10 (1953)
    This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée travel back to the uncomfortably segregated 1950s with The Adventures of Rex the Wonder Dog no. 10! Young Danny Dennis is a teenage dunderhead who has only managed to stay alive this long because of his secret weapon: An insane pet dog with a firm grasp of grammar, an encyclopedic knowledge of physics, and no sense of self-preservation. From springing traps for circus animals to viciously murdering manbats, there's no problem too big for a superintelligent dog to brazenly jump onto the back of with no regard for his own safety. It all begs the question: Is Rex brave or just psychopathic? It's the same question Mike asks himself every day. Plus, Detective Chimp solves crimes while giving everyone monkeypox, three pages of text about picking out a hunting dog, and lots of ads for shit you can put on your stupid bike. Kids in the 50s were really into speedometers, apparently.
    39 min
  • S5:E7 - Darkhawk No. 50 (1995)
    This time on the Couch: It's a fitting send-off for C-lister Darkhawk as Mike, James, and Shee read 1995's Darkhawk no. 50! It's the Hawk's final issue, but it seems nobody told him because he's still got way too much shit left to do. Between stopping an alien invasion, getting rid of Overhawk (ugh), getting his dad off the hook for trumped up murder charges, saving his brothers from getting shot at by a coked-up 311 fan, and reconnecting with his loser high school chums, how will DH find time to convince his hot short-haired girlfriend that it's not at all weird that he's now merged with his own sentient android double? The stakes may be high, but don't worry: You won't care what happens. Plus Spider-Man swings by for a useless cameo, and if you're the kind of person who would get all excited about a quick glimpse of 90s never-was Nova, then you're 1.) in luck, and 2.) being mocked by your peers behind your back a lot more than you probably realize.
    38 min
  • S5:E6 - Superboy No. 216 (1976)
    This time on the Couch: It's three white people teaching the world about racial tolerance when Mike, James, and Shée lightly tread through Superboy no. 216, starring the Legion of Super-Heroes! It's a thousand years in the future and bigotry still exists in the form of Black Panther ripoff Tyroc hating on whitey (and greeny, in the case of Brainiac 5) for failing to help his people. Is what follows a thoughtful lesson in bridge-building and understanding, or just the catalyst for three podcasters verbally squirming for 30 minutes? Plus, in a backup tale nobody asked for, pudgy ex-Legion member Bouncing Boy won't stop bragging about how his wife can split into two women. Dude, you're already way out of your league, just keep your mouth shut and try not to ruin this for yourself.
    35 min
  • S5:E5 - Guardians of the Galaxy No. 1 (1990)
    This time on the Couch: Come along with Mike and James on a baffling and under-researched space adventure in 1990's Guardians of the Galaxy no. 1! Didn't see the latest GotG movie? Don't worry, because neither did the hosts of a comic book podcast that's doing an episode about them and it didn't hurt their enjoyment/tolerance. Listen in as all of your favorite obscure nobodies trash a dog planet for no reason, run a massive fire risk in their own ship, have unsanctioned inter-team sexual relations, and generally try to avoid doing anything heroic or even legal. Then F-lister Taserface shows up to face taser them for their crimes and it's the least dumb moment in the book. If you're into characters shooting poorly-explained energy blasts out of different parts of their bodies then you better strap yourself in for excitement because you just might be shooting energy blasts out of your pants after this one!
    34 min
  • S5:E4 - Warlock No. 9 (1975)
    This time on the Couch: The guys try to wrap their heads around 1975's Warlock no. 9, but falter when Shee's explanations involve pop culture references Mike is oblivious to. In the book, Adam Warlock confronts his own future self, the villainous Magus, who turned evil after being imprisoned in a giant rack of ribs floating in space, then emerged with a giant perm and a truckload of finger-waggling sass, upon which he built a galaxy-spanning empire of worshippers before heading back in time to dick over his own past self. Or future self? Whatever. Also, Gamora and a space troll take turns seeing who's more useless. Marvel insists it all makes sense, but they're not setting a good precedent by calling issue 9 a 'premiere.' Also, is Mike actually the future evil version of James, or the other way around? Look for the clues and mail your best guess to the Cosmic Insanity Cocoon, Care of Pip the God-Basher, for a chance to win a bottle of Magus' Detangling Spray!
    28 min
  • S5:E3 - Brother Power the Geek No. 1 (1968)
    This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée reach into the deepest, most patchouli-scented recesses of hippiedom and fish out 1968's Brother Power the Geek no. 1. The incense and peppermint crowd briefly get their own superhero when lightning strikes a mannequin, but he quickly realizes that being an inanimate lump of fabric is only slightly worse than being a shiftless hippie. It's a concept so exciting it managed two whole issues before conservative rage demanded Brother Power be cancelled and buried in a landfill along with all of those goddamn Donovan records. But was Pow a forgotten counter-counterculture masterpiece, or just an awkward paycheck for a hungry Joe Simon? Hopefully the answer can be found by three people yelling at each other for 40 minutes, because that's pretty much all this is.
    40 min
  • S5:E2 - Wonder Woman No. 189 (1970)

    This time on the Couch: Mike and James (with special guest Shee) complete their Wonderful (?) exploration of Wonder Woman's controversial I-Ching era with 1970's issue no. 189! The dawn of the disco era meant the time for civil progress was over, so Diana and new sidekick Patrick waste no time celebrating the return to offensive stereotypes by literally painting their faces yellow and infiltrating a Chinese village. Then, in a twist that only seems to bother James, the princess of peace grabs a machine gun and mows down dozens of people without a second thought before the whole adventure concludes with... uh, non-consensual polyamory... for some reason. Plus, from an ethical standpoint, exactly how many assault rifles should a mother have on hand with which to defend her children? No, it's not an ancient Chinese mind-clearing proverb; it's just the topic of another shouting match on podcasting's most unsettling Couch!

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    38 min
  • S5:E1 - Wonder Woman No. 179 (1968)
    This time on the Couch: Mike and James are joined by their own resident Wonder Woman Shée for the first of two Amazomazing episodes! In Wonder Woman no. 179, Steve Trevor's blind patriotism leads to Diana giving up her powers and agreeing to stay stranded in man's bullshit world until the sun explodes or whatever. Luckily, she's aided by I-Ching, a blind Chinese martial arts wizard who may or may not be a racist caricature, the jury's still out. Now armed with a cursory knowledge of largely useless karate moves, she'll punch a Frankenstein in the face and pick up a stylish go-go outfit as they track down the villainous Dr. Cyber. Plus, a Darkseid's Couch Retraction, and James' soundboard is reduced to rubble in the wake of a Sherwin-Williams paintsplosion. Donate now to buy him a new keyboard and help make podcasting great again!
    32 min
  • S4:E10 - The Brave and the Bold No. 121 (1975)
    This time on the Couch: In an adventure that feels a lot more Nic Cage than Bruce Wayne, Mike and James slog through 1975's The Brave and the Bold no. 121! Batman and the Metal Men, apparently having nothing better to do, decide to chauffeur the Declaration of Independence on a cross-country train trip in honor of America's bicentennial. Unfortunately, the celebration immediately goes off the rails (ha!) when a group of racially insensitive Native Americans hijack the train and demand their land back. That's actually what happens. There was supposed to be a joke there, but really, what's the point? Everything gets progressively more absurd from there, but maybe it's our own fault for hiring a wealthy WASP and a gang of soulless robots and expecting them to give a shit about freedom.
    35 min

About Darkseid's Couch

From the publisher's feed

Mike, James, and Shée read old comic books and make themselves hate all forms of artistic expression in the process.