Yvonne was on a bus on a trip to Europe when she had a realisation. There’s more to life than having kids, she thought – I could travel the world.

Farida grew up with 19 siblings in a polygamous family in Kenya. She’s been married five times, and four of those times have been to men who have other wives.

In a letter she writes to her daughter, Farida describes some of the pros of a polygamous relationship, such as growing up with a large extended family and never feeling alone. But along with the pros there are also some cons, such as what it feels like for your husband to take another wife.

Farida tells Namulanta all about the ups and downs of being polygamous, and gives tips on how to have a happy marriage.

Letter writer: Farida

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Regina had a difficult childhood. Her parents both struggled with addiction, and she developed substance abuse problems of her own. She thought she’d never know how to be a mother. But now she’s using her experiences to help other children heal – trying to be the person that she needed when she was a child.

She tells Namulanta about the joy she finds in parenting her two daughters, the many women who have mothered her, and the training programme she’s developed in Zimbabwe to help communities support traumatised children.

Letter writer: Regina

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Comedian Ria Lina finds out she is autistic after an audience member picks up on it at one of her shows. What does being autistic mean for her?

She tells Namulanta that being a woman with autism is like being a chameleon: you wear lots of different masks to suit the occasion, but sometimes all you want to do is go to a quiet dark place and crash.

Ria tells Namulanta all about autism so the next generation can feel more prepared than she did.

Letter writer: Ria Lina

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(Ria Lina image credit: Arabella Itani)

Gretchen’s daughter is transgender. When she first told her parents, it came as a shock – but Gretchen wants to tell her daughter she’ll always be on her side.

But she worries that the outside world might be hostile. How can she protect her daughter, while also helping her grow?

Letter writer: Gretchen

Rehman becomes a widower with three children after the sudden death of his wife. Over a year later, he remarries a woman with three children of her own. Now Rehman has three children from his previous marriage and three new stepchildren. Blending the two families together is Rehman’s dream. He wants his family to accept this new reality, but it’s not all smooth sailing.

Malini has a lot of regrets about her parenting - but her daughter Raji remembers things differently.

Malini raised her family in a big multigenerational household in India, with relatives coming and going and little privacy for anyone. She and her mother-in-law were both strong personalities, and sometimes her daughter was caught in the crossfire.

Malini writes a letter to Raji about her regrets over the past. Was she too strict? Was she too possessive? Did Raji decide to move away to get away from the civil war at home?

But Raji responds with a letter of her own.

Letter writers: Malini and Raji

Namulanta Kombo and parents build a “handbook to life”. Sharing your parenting advice, personal stories, and letters to your daughters. What will you tell your children?

If you are a mum or mom, dad or papa, grandparent, uncle, aunt, daughter, son or just want to write a letter, send us a Whatsapp message on +44 800 030 4404 or visit https://bbcworldservice.com/deardaughter.

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Joy Kendi doesn’t want her hair to define her – so she shaves her head.

Joy is an influencer in Kenya who’s known for her personal style – sometimes she has tight curls, sometimes long braids or a perfect afro.

But she wasn’t always so confident in her appearance. Growing up in the US, she wanted to look like the other girls around her, and didn’t know how to take care of her natural hair.

She joins Namulanta in the studio to talk about all things black hair – the salon experience, the surprising history of cornrows, and why showering with a bald head is the most liberating feeling on the planet.

Namulanta Kombo and parents build a “handbook to life”. Sharing your parenting advice, personal stories, and letters to your daughters. What will you tell your children?

If you are a mum or mom, dad or papa, grandparent, uncle, aunt, daughter, son or just want to write a letter, send us a Whatsapp message on +44 800 030 4404 or visit https://bbcworldservice.com/deardaughter.

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Mary receives a menacing message and decides to leave her home.

Mary has lived in Florida ever since her university days. It’s where she fell in love, met her Taiwanese husband, and had two children. With hopes of her children growing up and going to college in Florida, Mary thinks she’ll live there for the rest of her life.

But that all changes when, at 40 years old, Mary receives a menacing message that makes her move her Asian-American family 2,000 miles across the country. Race, neighbours and starting a new life at 40 – what happens when you no longer feel welcome in your home town?

Letter writer: Mary

Namulanta Kombo and parents build a “handbook to life”. Sharing your parenting advice, personal stories, and letters to your daughters. What will you tell your children?

If you are a mum or mom, dad or papa, grandparent, uncle, aunt, daughter, son or just want to write a letter, send us a Whatsapp message on +44 800 030 4404 or visit https://bbcworldservice.com/deardaughter.

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Wen is raised believing sex is taboo but knows she must change for her daughter’s sake.

Her grandmother was ashamed to talk about it. Her mum and dad had to visit the biology section of the library to find out how to do it. Wen wants to create a safe space at home to talk more openly with her daughter.

Letter writer: Wen

Namulanta Kombo and parents build a “handbook to life”. Sharing your parenting advice, personal stories, and letters to your daughters. What will you tell your children?

If you are a mum or mom, dad or papa, grandparent, uncle, aunt, daughter, son or just want to write a letter, send us a Whatsapp message on +44 800 030 4404 or visit https://bbcworldservice.com/deardaughter.

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