Deconstructing Mamas

Bekah McNeel is our final guest of Season Three.  Bekah is a native of San Antonio, Texas, where she has been a reporter for nine years. Her work has appeared in print with Christianity Today, The San Antonio Current, and the Public Justice Review, as well as online with the Christian Science Monitor, Sojourners, the Texas Tribune, the Hechinger Report, The 74 Million, and numerous local outlets.

Bekah calls herself a story-teller, but she is especially known for her ability to communicate the high stakes of education and immigration policy and bring clarity to complex systems. Bekah keeps the human beings most affected at the front of her coverage.

Bekah is married to Lewis McNeel, an architect. They have two young children who, while they do not yet have careers, are very busy (winky face).

On this episode, which was prompted by Bekah's recent book, Bringing Up Kids When Church Lets You Down, we chat through all the ups and downs of parenting while deconstructing. This is one of those conversations that will make you wanting more and yet feeling so full at the same time.

Bekah is brilliant, a bit snarky in a wonderful way, highly self-aware of her strengths and struggles and gives us solid reasons why this whole parenting journey is not about our kids. It's mostly about us. How can we reparent ourselves in this new faith and freedom that we find ourselves in, while also trying to heal from the harm that's been done to us so that we do not pass it along to our children.

You can find Bekah at the following:

Instagram:  @wanderbekah 

Facebook:  Bekah McNeel 

Website:  bekahmcneel.com 

Matt Mattson, the "starter" of  both the BETWEEN community and Today I Pray For You project on Instagram and Facebook, is our guest this week.  Matt dreams of creating a global relational religious movement. Matt believes “church” (and faith exploration) can and should happen in our conversations with others.

He's passionate that the space between us is sacred, a holy space. The way we fill that space — the choices about the way we interact with people — is our faith-come-to-life. He wants your coffee shop chats, your small talk in line at the grocery store, your social media interactions, and your dinner table conversations to feel sacred and holy. Because they are. God (however you understand that idea) lives in the space between us.

Matt has some a fun professional background that he's really proud of (Learn more about him here) and lives in Colorado with his wife and two daughters. Matt believes so deeply that he was put on this planet to help people gather together to talk about the important stuff of life.

Matt's not a pastor or a guru or a priest. Just a person. Like you.

In this episode, Matt takes us all on the ride of our lives with his story-telling, his passion, and especially his vulnerability. We find out four core principles that he embodies both at work and especially at home with his family.

We both were riveted as Matt spoke and believe you will be too. Get ready for a good one!

You can find Matt's passion projects at the following:

Instagram:  @todayiprayforyou

Facebook:  Today I Pray for You

Website:  Between.Church

Facebook Group:  BETWEEN Church

YouTube:  @betweenchurch

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Liz Mall, apologist (fancy word for someone who uses "argument" and "reason" to make a point that something is or isn't true and she has her masters in this area of expertise), deconstructing mama of three littles and podcast hostess, is our guest this week.

She and her cohost provide incredible resources for both faith deconstruction and reconstruction.

They tackle subjects like hell, Biblical genocide, purity culture and even head-coverings (for those of you forced to wear them - yes, it's a thing). 

Liz is witty and smart and kind and knows her stuff. When she's not wrangling her three littles, you can find her doing yoga or solving the world's problems in conversations with like-minded people (like us), both her kitchen table and over Zoom.

In this episode, we tackle it ALL. Nothing is off the table. Things like "should kids read the Bible and when" and "what are some very practical steps (five to be exact) can we take when our family and friends ask us to give an apology (not the "I'm sorry" kind, but the "prove yourself" kind) for why we are deconstructing.

You will leave this episode feeling empowered to continue forward on this difficult and freeing journey to figure out what you believe and why it matters.

Make sure you do NOT miss out!

You can find Liz at the following:

Instagram:  @deconstructingthemyth

Facebook:  Deconstructing the Myth 

Melissa Neeb, author, deconstructing mama of two teens, avid photographer, and podcast hostess is our guest this week.

Her mantra is "love big, live kind" and there could be nothing truer about Melissa. She's highly committed to loving without strings, inclusive of everyone who walks into her home or her life and kindness is her main squeeze.

When she's not caring for babies at her day job, you can find her loving on all of her fur babies (six of them to be exact), writing furiously for social media, photographing nature and always always showing up for her teens (oh yeah, there's a husband somewhere in there too).

Melissa's tender spirit and fierce passion sit side-by-side and she tells it like it is. On this episode, we are reminded that we have permission to "tear it all down to the ground," and rebuild our faith any which way that feels true and beautiful to us. We also talk about what we can do when our kids are on very different faith pages and how we can allow them to have their own journeys to God.

You will find yourself seen, known and understood and especially empowered to walk in the truth and light of your very own faith journey.

Make sure you do NOT miss out!

You can find Melissa at the following:

Faith in The Mess ("love big, live kind")

Instagram:  @faith_in_the_mess 

Facebook:  Faith in the Mess by Melissa Neeb  

Never Empty Nest (how to mom teens)

Instagram:  @never_empty_nest 

Facebook:  Never Empty Nest by Melissa Neeb 

Mike Morrell, coauthor of the Divine Dance with Richard Rohr (a pretty big deal), dad of two, an opti-mystic (which he likes to call himself), and Dudeist Priest (look it up here), is our guest this week.

He's a contemplative-in-process, seeking a more grounded experience of God, life, himself and the world, not because of grand mystical aspiration, but in order to stay sane in the here and now.

He's pretty sure his two girls are funny and brilliant – both my academically ‘gifted’ (as the school system names her aptitude) daughter and my Down syndrome daughter.

Spiritually speaking, he's a recovering fundamentalist, but these days, he draws nourishment from all streams of the Christian family, as well as those of other faiths and none at all.

His soft-spoken, gentle, and very authentic nature as we walk through how the "Two Trees" impact our faith, our parenting and, truth be told, all of our lives, made us wish we could keep talking forever.

Once you listen, you might just want to become an opti-mystic too.

You can find Mike at the following:

Instagram:  @genuine michael 

Facebook:  Michael Morrell 

Twitter:  @genuine_michael 

Website:  mikemorrell.org 

Dr. Camden Morgante, psychologist, coach, writer, and fellow mama is passionate about purity culture recovery, egalitarianism and reconstruction. She currently lives in Knoxville, TN with her husband and her two beautiful children.

We know what is wrong with purity culture—now we need to know how to heal. As a licensed psychologist specializing in sexuality who grew up in the height of purity culture, Dr. Camden, as she is known around the internet, offers a path forward to help repair the movement’s harmful effects, overcome shame, and reconstruct healthier faith and sexuality.

So if you are trying to recover from purity culture's harmful effects (aren't we all at some level), make sure to give the episode a listen. You won't regret it!

You can find Dr. Camden at the following:

Instagram:  @drcamden

Facebook:  Dr Camden Morgante

Website:  drcamden.com

Jillian Benfield, author, mom of three, former TV news anchor, and fierce advocate for access and inclusion of all types, is our guest this week. When she and her husband Andy were just 27 years old, they unexpectedly found out their son would be born with Down syndrome. Originally, devastated, they later, through months and years of learning and unlearning, realized their grief was largely tied to their ignorance and unknowing ableism.

It is not easy raising a child with a disability in an inaccessible world. It has been the most difficult and also the most beautiful experience of Jillian's life. It’s a life she wouldn’t trade. The unexpected gave her, heartache, yes. The unexpected also gave her a son. The unexpected gave her back to herself. 

This, and more, are what we unpack in this week's episode with Jillian. We don't tie things up with a tidy bow. We lean into the real life struggle of what happens to our faith when our formulas fall apart, when we are on our knees on the bathroom floor confused and angry and grieving. When the unexpected comes into our lives and we are left wondering how we are going to make it through.

Give the episode a listen. We won't guarantee you any answers, but our conversation will offer you so much hope for your own unexpected gifts.

You can find Jillian at the following:

Instagram:  @jillianbenfieldblog

Facebook:  Jillian Benfield

Website:  jillianbenfield.com

Book:  The Gift of the Unexpected 

Kat Wordsworth, author, mom of two, avid swimmer, and experienced doubter, is our guest this week. Although she is constantly living with doubt and unpacking both the harm and the healing it has brought to her life, she is taking slow steps on her own path of faith.

Our conversation with Kat, one of most gentle souls we've had the privilege of interviewing, was raw, vulnerable and not wrapped up in a nice neat bow. Her vulnerability and openness about her own continuing and difficult, yet sacred journey with doubt will help you to feel seen, heard, and confident as you navigate your own and especially as you help your own children with theirs.

We work through important topics like how God responds to our doubts and how can we treat ourselves when we are confused and feel very alone. We also get a sneak peek into her new book, Let's Talk About Doubt, and when you are finished listening, you will want to add it to that tall pile of books on your nightstand, the ones that are a must-read!

You can find Kat Wordsworth at the following:

Instagram:  @about_doubt 

Jason Elam, grateful husband, author, proud dad of four amazing kids, host of the Messy Spirituality Podcast, and former church pastor, is our guest this week.  Although he is deconstructing from toxic religion, he is still enamored by Jesus. 

Our time with Jason was refreshing and empowering, especially in the area of deconstructing and parenting. Speaking from his very own mistakes and frustration with his own early parenting based in rigid evangelicalism, he walks us through the hard part of forgiving ourselves and repairing what's been broken in our relationships with our kids, bringing the light of hope to what can feel like a confusing or dark space. 

In our time with Jason, we felt like we "went to church" as he is so wise and passionate and able to communicate, but also that it was unlike any church experience we'd had before because it was also filled with humility, grace and wide open space.

We laughed and listened, spoke and sighed, but mostly we unpacked the nitty gritty of this tricky and nuanced space of parenting and deconstructing.

It's so so so good. Do not miss out!

You can find Jason at the following:

Instagram: @beingjasonelam

Facebook: Jason Elam

Twitter: @beingjasonelam

Website: messyspirituality.org

Meredith Miller, mom, children's pastor and soon-to-be author of a legit book coming out in August titled Woven: Nurturing a Faith Your Kid Doesn't Have to Heal From, is with us this week.
 
Meredith has over 20 years experience in children’s ministry and curriculum. In 2019 she and her husband Curtis started a small church on Zoom that wants to live the one-anothers, neighbor well, and do justice. And eat.

For the 5 years prior she was Curriculum Director for the children’s ministry at Willow Creek Community Church in Chicago, Illinois, where she created the framework for lessons that responds to the latest research on kids and faith formation.

Meredith holds a Master of Divinity from Fuller Seminary, as well as a B.A. in Religious Studies and Spanish Language & Literature from Westmont College.

We know that all sounds super churchy and slightly religious, but rest-assured, Meredith is a breath of fresh air when it comes to how to engage with our kids and their faith journeys. Her powerful message on this episode of our kids' belovedness as an image-bearer and how we subsequently approach our parenting is so healing. She also taps into the ways we need to heal as adults and parents from the fear and shame and guilt that has been poured on us from toxic power structures and fundamentalist religious systems. The biggest question that kids are actually wrestling with deep-down inside and we tackle on this episode is this one, "Is God a Safe Grownup?" Why does that question matter and what can we do about it?

If you are holding onto your faith (and perhaps God or Jesus) with all your might, but don't really know what to do next with your kiddos, this podcast episode is really for you.

You can find Meredith at the following:

Instagram:  @meredithannemiller

Website: meredithannemiller.com