In the spring, Edward Brandon Becham was caring for his dying wife. He was also among hundreds of thousands of federal workers weighing whether to abandon public service. Donald Trump had taken office vowing to slash the federal bureaucracy, then entrusted the task to billionaire Elon Musk and a newly created cost-cutting team called the Department of Government Efficiency. In a matter of months, Musk and his U.S. DOGE Service wiped out hundreds of thousands of jobs, billions of dollars in spending and the job security that once distinguished government work.

Of America’s 2.4 million federal workers, nearly 4 in 10 registered to vote had, like Becham, cast ballots for Trump, according to a Washington Post-Ipsos poll. But as the days passed, Becham was becoming convinced that the Trump administration’s treatment of government employees — large-scale firings, emails he saw as harassing and strict return-to-office mandates — was wrongheaded and cruel. If he was unable to resign, Brandon would be required to report to a federal building in Las Vegas more than 70 miles away. Round-trip, it would cost him three hours a day with his three children, for whom he would soon be the only parent and sole provider.

Becham felt as though he was witnessing two painful deaths: his wife’s, of course, but also that of his career. In his darkest moments, Brandon turned to his Bible — and next to it, his leather-bound diary.

This story follows Becham and his family for a week as he navigated his feelings about his wife, family, his career and Trump.

Hannah Natanson reported and narrated the piece. Bishop Sand composed music and produced audio.

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