Delusions Of Grandeur

*Laughs nervously*. "So uh, they didn't teach you about the birds and the bees on Tatooine, kid? I mean, I guess you don't have birds or bees per se...so uh, lemme see if I can put it in a way you'll understand. You've got a huge pile of rocks, right? But trash rocks, like rocks you're about to throw out, you know what I mean. And then oops, you drop one, and it's actually a diamond. And that's really all you need to know about that. Should we uh, get back to planning this planetary sabotage op?"

Hi All, Below are the notes from the unit meeting we had this week. Although most of them were killed in an attack on Novo Nordisk (sp?), I'm still cc'ing your support staff — just in case they survived and have Slack access in the jungle.

Rogue Squadron Meeting Notes 9.16.2026

Coruscant Attack Updates

• too many Rogues are letting their covers drop too quickly
• maybe management shouldn't have based their attack plan on the word of a Bothan who got really into Ocean's Eleven when he was a tween
• what if we had just let Winter do her job without tossing a bunch of fighter pilots at her?

Imperial Check In

• they don't seem to be up to anything, which is awesome — no cause for concern or further investigation
• Imperial R&D has proven that if you make a holographic projection bigger, it's automatically 20% hotter. Rebel R&D needs to get on that (—Mon Mothma)

DEI Assessment

• we can't possibly be bigoted, we fire on Stormtroopers
• where did our token Sullustan go? Someone will look into that, probably, once we clear some funding

HR Review

• Rogue Squadron has no policy prohibiting colleagues banging one another, even if they're not in love
• Tuition Reimbursement—up to $2,500 a year is available for successful completion of eligible courses from accredited Jedi Temples
• Commuter benefits—Rogue Squadron partners with WageWorks to offer pre-tax deductions on commuter costs such as X-Wing tune ups and parking through payroll deduction

All our major players are assembled on Coruscant. After some marathon afternoons at the mall, everyone's a little overtired, and some people are on trial for their lives. Nawara gets to relive his glory days in court pointing out poor Gimble is just a virgin who CAN drive. Wedge has a moment of quiet yearning for the suburban life he could have led in a different galaxy. And Corran steps into the shoes of a 1990s heroine in a Very Special Episode. The topic? A Very Special Episode Classic TM: Sure, you can have sex before marriage, but only for reasons of True Love. And you can't love someone who just leaves orange peels scattered around!!! Also, ladies, always cover your drink at the bar.

I don't think we've ever laughed so much for so long at a series of five Star Wars chapters, you guys — and I cut out 20 minutes of it.

Everyone is playing at being a secret agent and everyone except Winter Rima is bad at it. The outfits are crazy and so are the people inside them:

Wedge and Pash and Iella hunt through an Imperial museum gift shop, looking for sociological clues.

Gavin Darklighter refuses to dance with a Bothan on the wrong side of the tracks, gets accused of bigotry, and is essentially kidnapped by an alien faction who need him to help them stop...kidnappings.

Corran Horn spends his journey to Coruscant berating the rich (but for the wrong reasons), arguing with an Alderaanian (about who has experienced the most trauma), and making out with his colleagues ("for the mission").

A space battle could never. But ao3 could.

Ok y'all it's starting to get fun! Michael A Stackpole hears our prayers and does a smash cut from PowerPoint presentation to post-battle tent set up (?). Corran and Wedge take their Good and Naughty Lists to Kessel, where Corran explains a bunch of fake drug slang to a disbelieving Nawara Ven. Everything goes so smoothly, Corran and Mirax even have time get a little flirtin' in -- before they are politely interrupted by Ooryl, who has come to show off his new arm! And our heroes break off into pairs to complete their group assignment (secretly invading Coruscant in the best costumes the New Republic theater department can find via futures trading).

These chapters start with a bang...or at least, a big bang theory, as Leia and Wedge catch up between council sessions -- as Kelly points out, with the sort of gratuitous hand holding, forehead kisses, and commiseration about their current romantic prospects that seems a lot like the way you'd chat with a friendly ex. But not everyone on the council has a playful and not purely platonic energy together -- Fey'la and Akbar are fighting in a superficially polite but deeply passive-aggressive manner about what's to be done with Coruscant. Tragically, all these tete-a-tete's and council meetings are interrupted by one space battle, in which Rogue Squadron juped and swooped successfully to victory with no causalities beyond Corran's peace of mind. Thank the Force Michael A Stackpole knows what his readers is really here for : the slowly ratcheting tension that can only come with watching your boss give a corporate PowerPoint presentation so wild, a narcotics cop and a public defender both think it's a terrible idea.

Our beloved patrons have spoken, and we're headed back to Michael A. Stackpole’s X-Wing series in search of something a little goofier...perhaps even, a little hornier? Speaking of Corran: M. Horn, Wedge and the rest of the Rogues are hanging out on a little planet called Borelias waiting on the rest of the Rebel Fleet to catch up. The ultimate plan (if you've forgotten in the last two years) is to invade Coruscant. But first, we've got to figure out what's going on with Emtrey...and maybe Tycho, if there's time. And we see indisputable proof that Wedge is a better boss than Luke as he gets hyped for the Provisional Council meeting of his dreams.Plus, stick around for a post-credit scene of two (2) American hosts with graduate degrees trying (and failing) to pronounce one (1) English word.

Friends and patrons, we are gathered here today to talk about this four-part comic, released by Dark Horse, in which Luke Skywalker takes Mara Jade to be his wife. The plot really is that simple, and yet, this comic will have you repeatedly asking why or even WHY GOD?? on most every page. From the many baffling and varied head-shapes of well known characters, to the absolutely deluge of extremely jarring boomer jokes about the manifold miseries of heterosexual marriage coming out of the mouths of the galaxy's most notorious wife guys, to the Imperial plot to kidnap Mara's wedding dress in order to blow up Moon Emperor Al Gore' s own Holonet (??), things sure do happen for reasons we don't really understand. So now we're just two hosts, standing in front of their book club, asking: why did you want us to read this one again?

This will be our final episode of the 4th season! We will return shortly with our next selection, chosen by loyal patrons: X-Wing: Wedge's Gamble. Stay tuned!

We are delighted to announce Chris Kempshall, author of The Rise and Fall of the Galactic Empire, has made the tactical error of returning to this podcast. We discuss the real earth history that likely influenced Thrawn as a character and the Caamas Document Crisis, the in-universe public memory of Thrawn vs. what he actually accomplished in the first series, and the strange blurriness of galactic politics . Plus, we hear a bit about his new book Star Wars Star Pilots, which will be coming out this fall and heavily features pod favorite Wedge Antilles. And for those that haven't subscribed yet but are hungry for more Star Wars geopolitical realness (and Earth WWI history), check out Chris's newsletter, The Historian's Holonet. It really is a great read and changed how we thought about both Thrawn and Pellaeon.

Citizens of the New Republic, we have finally made it to the end of this (New York Times Bestselling???) masterpiece. And what did we learn, Palmer? That the Caamas document is real. That Mara Jade is good at sabotage. That Leia's half-decent at piracy. That Pellaeon has an intense admiration for Talon Karrde's...ethics. That both our hosts love these books. What remains a mystery? What is a Jedi? What is the New Republic, and what does the New Republic think the Empire is? Also, where is Ghent?