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You’re too sensitive.

I never said that!

YOU’RE the one with the problem.

Why do you make everything such a big deal?

If you’ve ever had these words spoken to you, you, my friend, may have been gaslit. 

 Gaslighting is the withholding of information or pretending that you don’t understand what someone else is talking about in an attempt to get that person to question their reality and good judgment. It the evil attempt to distort another person’s reality through lies and manipulation, and a desperate attempt for self-preservation.

Gaslighters project their issues onto you to divert attention away from their dysfunction or wrongdoing, and they don’t care who they harm along the way.

 They will even go so far as to deny something has taken place even in the face of concrete evidence. 

 But gaslighting doesn’t typically end there. In fact, I have never seen gaslighting as a stand-alone behavior. It’s commonly accompanied by things like infidelity, narcissism, stealing, gossiping, and smear campaigns, just to name a few.

 While the term gaslighting does not appear in the bible, a word that mirrors it certainly does:  manipulation.

That’s because gaslighting IS manipulation. And the bible certainly has a lot to say about manipulation. From watching out for false teachers, to avoiding evil doers, God does NOT tolerate a lying tongue.

 At its core, manipulation is a form of lying. When someone speaks falsely with the purpose of deception, they are being manipulative. Satan himself is the master manipulator.

 There are several examples of emotional abuse in scripture, including Abigail at the hand of her fool of a husband in 1 Samuel 25 and Samson at the hand of the alluring Delilah, just to name a few.

 So, let’s look to scripture to shine light on what a healthy relationship should look like in comparison and in doing so provide Biblical proof that gaslighting is emotional abuse. 

 The famous love passage in 1 Corinthians 13 makes it clear that emotional abuse is wrong. The apostle Paul describes the actions of real love. 

 First, he says love is patient and kind (1 Corinthians 13:4), but gaslighting is neither patient nor kind. Rather, it’s quick to flare up and deflect. 

 Love “keeps no record of wrongs” (verse 5), but gaslighting is all about pointing out how another person is wrong and has wronged you.

Love is not rude or selfish or prideful or irritable or resentful, but as with all emotional abuse, gaslighting is self-preservation. 

Love “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (verse 7). Emotional abusers only look to protect themselves.

As you can see, if you are not aware of the tactics used by these wolves in sheep’s clothing, you can easily become a target for their emotional abuse. 

 So, does “love” require you to bear with these emotional abusers? I don’t believe so. 

 To continue to endure under such toxic behavior gives permission and acceptance to the abuser that their behavior is tolerated. God finds that behavior despicable, and so should we.

 You may be thinking: "But they could change because of my love."

 To that I say, yes, they can change, but enabling the current circumstances all in the name of love will not bring about change—it will only keep the door open for further abuse.

 In addition, there may be degrees of codependency within you that needs to be addressed. 

If you feel it’s your responsibility to b

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Some of the teachings that are coming out of some churches today are just off. And some are down right ridiculous—mixing worldviews and new age teachings to make some convoluted mix of what we call progressive Christianity. And I’m embarrassed to say I not only believed some of this stuff, I TAUGHT IT. God forgive me. 

Since scripture instructs us to not neglect gathering together, how do you find a church that is faithful to the text and doesn’t just tickle your ears? 

May I suggest that you apply the Berean principle. Acts 17:11 lays that out for us. 

The Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true. 

So let’s be like the Bereans and examine some of these false (but common) teachings floating around a church near you. 

False teaching #1: Manifesting 

There is a new age teaching out there that basically says what you speak, envision, and think will come to pass, also known as the law of attraction. 

The idea that Christians can name it and claim it or ‘speak’ something into existence is not only nonsense, it’s witchcraft. 

From vision boards to decreeing and declaring, many Christians have tried to take the sovereign will of God into their own hands.  

Those who follow the “decree and declare” formula make such statements as “I decree and declare that I am healed,” or “I decree and declare my family will be wealthy.”  

Humbly asking God for things in prayer is replaced by decreeing those things to happen, and then calling it faith. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for watching the words of my mouth and boldly declaring God’s truth, but the power to speak things into existence is referred to Romans 4:17.

As it is written: “I have made you a father of many nations.”[a] He is our father in the sight of God, in whom He believed—the God who gives life to the dead and calls into being things that were not. 

Did you catch that? It says GOD calls things that were not—NOT us.  

Instead, look for teachers who encourage you to keep your life surrendered to the sovereign will of God. And stick to making your decrees according to biblical truth and not personal preference. 

False teaching #2: Emotionalism

Emotionalism isn’t so much taught as it is assumed. Stirring the emotions of the crowd is often mistaken for a ‘powerful’ move of God. 

Emotionalism in the church is a reaction based upon feeling. It’s often very expressive, but devoid of true worship. 

I’m not saying that everyone who has expressive moments are simply responding emotionally, but many are. 

True worship is not just a surface reaction to a strong drumbeat or lyrics to a cool new song.

True worship is a reverence for a holy God and it is a direct response to our awe and wonder of His majesty. 

There’s nothing wrong with great music and a beautiful atmosphere. But God doesn’t need us to conjure up a false move of the holy spirit. He’s plenty powerful to reach every hurting heart and sorry sinner. 

False teaching #3: Me-ology 

Are you a part of a church that makes the Bible all about you? 

Yes, there should be proper application of biblical truth to your life, but that’s only a small portion. 

In many ‘Me-ology’ churches, it’s all about ME. My decision, my battles, my experience, my truth—it’s all about me. 

In an effort to be seeker friendly, the gospel message has been watered

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If you’re like many well-meaning Christians who choose to stay with a narcissist, you can’t quiet that nagging question—how do I love this person without letting their toxic behavior get to me?

Another common thought is, I’m barely done forgiving them for their last offense and here come three more.

The underlying question is, How do I love them without losing myself?!

To love a toxic person without losing yourself, there are three traps that you’ll need to avoid.

Trap #1: Empathy. In general, empathy is a wonderful, Christ-like quality. But when you have empathy for a narcissist, the receiver only hears another opportunity to take advantage of you. (Even if they don’t say that out loud.)

The real trap of having empathy for a narcissist is the false belief that you can heal them.

Trap #2: Codependency. Codependency is an unhealthy--almost addictive--attachment to another person. It is the devil’s counterfeit for interdependency. When codependency is thriving, you can’t be ok unless the other person is OK with you.

The underlying trap of codependency is a quiet belief that you can change them.

Trap #3: Hope. All things are possible with God. But the problem doesn’t lie with God, it lies with the narcissist’s choices. And until they stop choosing demonic behavior and repent, there isn’t much hope.

Proverbs 13:12 reminds us, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”

So, if you’re hoping that today will be a good day but then getting rocked when it’s not, it’s likely that your hope doesn’t have substance.

The trap of hope is the belief that it will be worth the wait.

Now that you know where the landmines are and how to avoid them, let’s apply the three key principles to loving a narcissist without losing yourself:

1. Accept who they are, and how they are.

I can almost here you now, “Kris, how can you tell me to accept such terrible behavior? That’s like saying, ‘That’s ok, just walk all over me!’”

That’s not what I’m saying. Acceptance doesn’t mean agreement. It doesn’t even mean tolerance. It simply means that you recognize who they are and how they are and give up the responsibility, or the hope, of trying to change them.

Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” It’s time to hang up the hope that today will be a ‘good day” and then getting bent out of shape when their lies, manipulation, self pity, anger, condescension, and blaming behavior ruins the day.

In other words, stop being shocked when their behavior is narcissistic.

Simply determine what your boundaries will be and stand firm to protect yourself. For example, if you usually drive to parties together but you’re constantly getting into arguments over his road rage, drive yourself, grab an Uber, or don’t go at all.

If you want to learn how to set healthy boundaries you can be proud of….check out this episode here (link)

2. Practice emotional guarding.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else guard your heart for out of it flows the wellsprings of life.”

Unless you enjoy intense emotional rollercoasters that leave you exhilarated one minute and vomiting the next, you will have to emotionally—and maybe physically—detach from this person.

This means that you no longer own their behaviors and emotions.

I realize that this may feel cold but that’s where avoiding the trap of codependency comes in.

You’ve likely been trained to take on more than you should in a relationship, all in the name of love.

This isn’t biblical. Jesus didn’t do it, and neither should we. In fact, if you want to see a comical parody on what it would look like IF Jesus were codependent, check out this episode here

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I didn’t even realize he was a narcissist until after we were divorced.

I felt like a fool for not seeing it, embarrassed because it took me that long to put a label on it.

But the truth is, it didn’t need a label. I knew something was wrong six days after we returned from our honeymoon.

I stood at the kitchen counter opening the mail. As I scanned the unusually high cable bill, I saw one pornographic movie after another. It felt like someone just sucked all of the air out of the room. He was sitting right there and saw my face. I was never one to cower in fear, so I pounced like a puma.

I challenged him, and his response was the beginning of what I could see was a dream turned nightmare.

He said, “Well, since you didn’t put out, what did you expect me to do?””

Amazing how it was MY FAULT. Don’t think for a second that I assumed that responsibility.

Still, I didn’t know what to do. It was early enough to bail, but I stayed. I decided to be a loving, understanding wife who wins her husband to Christ.

But two months in, he came to me and said, “You know that whole church thing we’ve been doing? You can go, but I just don’t think it’s for me anymore.”

Again, I felt bamboozled. He fooled me into thinking he had come to Christ and wanted a Christian marriage.

Needless to say, the marriage was strained at that point. I realized that his man wanted to be married in title only.

It started to dawn on me that he was proud to brag to his colleagues about his young wife, but he lived his life like he was a bachelor.

At the beginning of our marriage, he said he would like to wait three years before we had kids.

Three years came and he said, “I never said that. I said, after three years we could talk about it and see if that’s what we want. And I’ve thought about it and I just don’t think that’s something ‘we’ want.”

I may not have known then that he was a narcissist, but after this, there was no doubt that he was a lying, self centered control freak that was using me for everything.

That’s when I entered phase two of the marriage, which was, “God get me out of here.”

Love was not driving this ship anymore. I confess—I hated him. I hated who he was and what he had done to my dreams. And worst of all, I hated that the beautiful Christian marriage I had longed for turned out to be a scam.

Once he knew that I was on to him, it went from bad to worse.

There was no way I was staying in that toxic house with that lying manipulator. I prayed, “God I love you, but I’m not staying here another minute. Do what you have to do to me, but I’m out.”

Then a counselor I was working with calmed me down and said, “Are you willing to trust God to either change him or deliver you?”

I was definitely praying that God would change him, but the thought of deliverance had never occurred to me. A sudden peace came over me, knowing that it wasn’t my responsibility to change him and I wasn’t trapped. I could trust God to be God.

Then I entered phase three: “God I’ll trust you.”

I’ve made more impulsive decisions to try to take the bull by the horns than I care to admit. Although now there was a little voice in me that kept saying “trust me,” my flesh had it’s running shoes on.

I knew my decision would be a pivotal moment in my walk with God. “Am I going to keep doing things my way? Or will I follow Him, even though I have NO idea what this will look like?”

I won’t lie, my prayers were more for my deliverance than it was for God to change my husband. But the more I trusted God with whatever the outcome would be, the more I grew in maturity.

I spent SOO much time with God. It was glorious. I even reached a point where I prayed, “God, if delivering me from this means

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I recently had to cut someone out of my life and just before I hit that send button, I realized,

THIS IS SO CONFUSING!

I vacillated between thinking, Maybe it’s me and No, I’m positive I’ve done all I could.

And between, Maybe I didn’t give them enough chances and I can’t keep doing this.

Days turned into weeks until five months later, I was no closer to setting boundaries and more confused than ever.

The stress of keeping this person in my life was hitting me big time but the thought of setting boundaries made me feel like a terrible person. It was driving me mad.

And then it hit me—I wasn’t taking my own advice.

I confess, I thought maybe my situation was different. I battled with feeling like I had to live up to a higher ‘grace’ standard.

I kept trying to find alternate solutions that always ended in disaster because I was ignoring the 3 signs that God wants this person OUT of my life.

It reminded me of April 1988. I had worked so hard to grow my hair long and it was finally grazing my mid back. I was so happy. But there was a problem—my hair was fried. It was so dry and brittle from all of the perms and bleaching (don’t judge me) that even though it was long, it didn’t look good.

But my thought was, “It’s better than nothing, right?” Wrong!

Maybe you didn’t rock the ridiculous hair styles of the 80s, but I know you’re battling with the same confusion regarding the toxic person in your life, so I’m going to show you those three signs, as well as the one thing that will get in your way if you don’t address it.

So let’s dive into the three signs that God is trying to remove someone from your life. But before we do, I want you to understand that in order to gain the clarity and confidence to walk away from a toxic relationship and stay away from dangerous pitfalls, you’re going to need wisdom and trust.

Yes, trust that the healthy shorter hair will look much better than long stringy hair, but also trust that God is with you and wants to guide you.

There is one thing that can hold you back from hearing the voice of God. And that is clutter.

Not the kind of clutter that falls on you when you open your closet. I’m talking about the clutter in your mind.

All those shoulds and shouldn’ts will keep you trapped.

Saying things like, “Oh, I really shouldn’t be feeling this way,” or, “She’s my mother, she should be treating me with respect,” or, “He’s my friend, he shouldn’t be talking behind my back.”

Getting caught in the toxic thought pattern of what someone else should or shouldn’t be doing puts you on an emotional rollercoaster with the other person at the controls.

So let’s dive into the three signs that God is trying to remove someone from your life.

Sign #1: They’re poisoning your garden.

I’m not much of a gardener. In fact, I have two black thumbs.

The other day I pointed out to my husband that we have this plant growing out of nowhere in our backyard. After all, it was green, it had leaves. It looked like a plant to me. But when I touched it, it didn’t feel like any plant I’d want to be around.

In fact, it wasn’t a plant, it was a weed. A giant, prickly weed. The problem with leaving this plant to proliferate is that they will eventually choke out everything good in my garden. And you’ll be tempted to blame the weeds, but it’s your job to pull them up.

The same is true with toxic people in your life. When someone in your life looks and acts healthy and normal one minute but you’re constantly getting pricked by them, it’s likely a sign that God is trying to show you that this person isn’t who you want them to be.

Letting them grow in your garden, isn’t going to make them into a beautiful plant, it will just infect the good.&

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Have you ever tried to speak to someone who spoke a different language than you?

Maybe you’re really patient at first but the more you realize that it’s not helping, the more frustrated you get.

 You likely start talking s-l-o-w-e-r. Maybe you even start yelling, as if a higher decibel is going to change the fact that they can’t understand you.

 The same is true for a narcissist who doesn’t interpret things the same way you do. Yes, they may speak the language. But what you say and what they hear are two completely different things.

 The truth is, no amount of repeating, yelling, or rehashing that is going to change what they hear. I know you want to treat others with love, patience, and kindness. But something just feels off—like they’re not getting it.

 That’s because they don’t. They have a language all their own and if what you say doesn’t match what they want to hear, you’re going to get frustrated and confused because they don’t really say what they mean or mean what they. That means what you say is up for interpretation too.

 So join me as we dive into 14 things you’ll say versus what the narcissist will hear. 

 You: You really hurt me when you said we would save money but then you took it out
of our account without talking to me. Why did you do that?

 Narcissist: You’re trying to control me. Why are you doing this to me?                    

 This is their way of playing the victim

 You: But you said that you wouldn’t touch the money without talking to me first. 

 Narcissist: Are you calling me a liar? Are you calling me a liar? Great, you’re calling me a liar.

 This is their way of deflecting the issue at hand, and playing the victim.

 You: I don’t want to argue with you.

 Narcissist: Of course you don’t. That’s because you know you’ll lose.

 Narcissists love to intimidate you.

 You: Are you going to put the money back so we can stay on track to get out of debt?

 Narcissist: After all the times you spent money and I didn’t say anything, I can’t believe you’re giving me a hard time about this. Maybe I shouldn’t forgive you. 

 The narcissist is always looking to take the focus off of their wrongdoing and turn it back on you.

 You: But I only spent money on necessary things for the house and kids. You took $10,000.

 Narcissist: If you weren’t so tight with the purse strings, I wouldn’t have had to go behind your back to take the money. It’s your fault.

 Blame is the narcissist’s favorite game. Nothing is ever their fault. 

You: I would like to try and resolve this. It’s not just about the money. I’m having trouble trusting you. 

 Narcissist: No you’re not. You’re just complicating things. Why can’t you just leave well enough alone?

 Narcissists will always deny your reality. This is called gaslighting.

You: Let’s try to move past this. I forgive you.

 Narcissist: It’s about time. Enough of this nonsense. Now we can get back to the way things were.

 They love to exploit your good nature

You: I’m still upset about this and would like to talk about it.

 Narcissist: Since you’re upset with me, I’m going to give you the silent treatment to make you feel so uncomfortable that you come graveling back to me.

 This is their way of manipulating people

You: I’ll love you no matter what but I re

 Are you ready to set boundaries like a boss? Check out my online course….Boundaries with Toxic family. https://krisreece.com/biblical-boundaries-with-toxic-family/

 Maybe you’ve just discovered that your manipulative friend isn’t as sweet as she pretends to be. Or the guilt your mother has been laying on you isn’t your biblical burden to bear.  

 You’re probably here because you realize that ‘no’ needs to become a more regular part of your vocabulary.  

After all, every relationship—whether with a parent, pastor, partner, coworker, or friend—needs boundaries. They are what makes relationships healthy.

 Boundaries are limits we set with others to protect our relationships and ourselves. They’re guidelines that we communicate to others regarding how we want to be treated.  

  Maybe you’ve just realized that you need to say no to certain people, or perhaps you’ve been avoiding setting limits for a while and it’s finally catching up with you.

  What do you say we make today the day you learn to speak your NO in love?

 In today’s episode we’re going to talk about 3 key principles and the 2 boundary barriers you’ll need to avoid if you want to set guiltless boundaries.

 Let’s dive in.

 Principle #1: Know thyself

Have you ever been given the advice to just be yourself?

 Great advice, but what do you do if you don’t know who you are?

 If you don’t know who you are and what you want, someone else will gladly define that for you.  

 To set rock-solid boundaries, you need a rock-solid identity. This may be the hardest step of all because many of us have formed our identities based upon the needs and expectations of others. 

But you, my friend are a unique creation. You were fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator of the Universe (Psalm 139:14).

 So how do you get to know you? There are 3 key areas I want you to identify.

1. What’s your temperament? Your temperament is your God given nature. We all have one, and we either operate in its strengths or weaknesses. My hope is that you will freely flow in all that God created you to be when you understand how God wired you. If you need help, grab my FREE What’s My Temperament Guide to get you started. (link)
2. What are your preferences? This includes your likes, dislikes, passions, annoyances, dreams and values. These are what make you different. (Yes, it’s OK to differ from others.) 
3. What are your needs? You can’t expect others to meet your needs until you know your needs, as mind reading is not a spiritual gift.

Establishing boundaries and getting to know yourself can feel selfish first. But you won’t be able to set healthy boundaries until you discover where the other person ends and you begin. 

 Principle #2: Own your stuff

Most rookies to boundaries usually arrive at the desire to declare their ‘no’ after a long time of abuse. While I have no doubt that people have taken advantage of you, putting yourself in the role of victim can feel like it absolves you of responsibility when the truth is, you had a part to play.

 Now would be the time to examine what part you played in the toxic tango.  

 Ask yourself, ‘Was there something I was getting from the relationship that I was unwilling to give up if needed? Did I believe that my behavior could change theirs? Why did I surrender my values for their approval?’

 Next you’ll want to own your feelings. Examining what’s in your heart is going to be crucial if you truly want to speak the truth in love.

 Luke 6:43-44 reminds us that out of the mouth the heart speaks. If you’re harboring resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness, victim mentality, or anything of the kind,&

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There is a type of narcissist that is the worst of them all—the type of person Jesus warned of when he said beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing (Matthew 7:15).

 This narcissist sneaks in undetected and infects your life in ways you couldn’t even imagine.

 When we think of the grandaddy of all narcissists, we usually think of the highly abusive, malignant narcissist. But it doesn’t take a discerning eye to spot this narcissist from a mile away.

 The narcissist I’m talking about today, flies under the radar and even comes across to many as sweet, caring, easy going, and nice. But beneath that erroneous exterior, you're dealing with a self-centered, egotistical, self-righteous, entitled brat.

 You may be saying, Kris that sounds a lot like the covert narcissist. Andd you’d be right, but there’s a tiny element that you’re missing.

 This isn’t just the convert naricsisst, this is the ‘Christian’ covert narcissist.

 This is the narcissist that knows all the right words to say. They’ve learned the lingo—maybe they even learned it from you—but they are anything but true followers of Jesus. In fact, many of them are wolves in sheep’s clothing.

 So in today’s video I want to give you insight into their behavior and help you to follow the biblical mandate found in Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.”

 So let’s talk about 8 contradicting characteristics of the Christian covert narcissist.

 Contradiction #1: Sweet on the outside, shallow on this inside

Two opposing flavors may work well for candy bars, but not for healthy relationships. 

The Christian covert comes across like she/he cares, but it’s a facade, and an overly exaggerated one at that. They have to ‘sell’ you because they know that if you lift up the hood, you’ll see there’s no depth. A few minutes of genuine conversation and you’ll see you can’t swim in those shallow waters. But if you are the type to hang out on the shoreline, you may not spot this person easily.

 Contradiction #2: Uses vulnerability to manipulate

Have you ever had compassion for someone, only to later to feel bamboozled? You can’t quite put your finger on it, but something about your care for them made you feel uneasy. Maybe they cried the financial blues when it came time to pay the bill, but you found out later that they really didn’t need you to take them out to dinner.

  Or maybe they convince you do something for them that you later learn they could have and should have done for themselves. Covert Christian narcissists love to play the victim in need.   

 Contradiction #3: Nice, but not kind

‘Nice’ by definition means pleasant and agreeable—two characteristics that can easily be faked. Nice is shallow, while kind is self sacrificing.

 The Christian covert narcissist is not genuine. That’s why they erect a ‘nice’ image. Because they care more about how they appear than how they really are.

 Contradiction #4: Quotes scripture, but is biblically illiterate

Christian covert narcissists know enough scripture to be dangerous. If they lie and twist their words and yours, why wouldn’t they do it to God’s Word?

 Be sure to know God’s truth for yourself, as one of the enemy’s favorite tactics is to confuse you with lies that are founded and grounded in SOME truth. That’s what makes this narcissist so dangerous, they know enough of God’s truth to twist it.

 Contradiction #5: Says one thing, but does another

The Christian covert narcissist takes hypocrisy to new heights. I hate to imagine how many people they’ve turned off to Christ with their two-

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 When you think of love and care, the first person that will likely come to mind is Jesus. After all, he gave his life so that you and I could be reconciled with God and spend eternity in His presence. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

And if you’re like most Christians, your desire is to BE more like Jesus. And yet, when you look at Jesus’ life and how he interacted with others, there are times that might make you scratch your head and think, “Jesus, that wasn’t very loving.”

 But that’s because what we think is love often isn’t love at all—it’s codependency.

 Codependency is the need to be needed. Someone who is codependent is driven by the need to please others—often at the expense of one’s own values.

 This is not to be mistaken for the bible concept of Interdependency, which is a mutual responsibility to others with whom you share a common set of principles.

 Even though codependency displays itself as caring, giving, and self-sacrificing, at the core, it’s very self-centered, destructive, and dishonest. That’s because codependency’s focus is to serve others in order to get your needs met.

 So today, I wanted to break down a few interactions that Jesus had with some key people in scripture and show how much different that interaction would have looked IF Jesus had struggled with the dysfunction of codependency.

 (Please note, it’s not my intention to be irreverent. Rather, it’s to bring awareness to our lack of insight into true biblical love.  

 Interaction #1: Judas  

We all know about Judas’ notorious betrayal of Jesus. Judas stole money from the ministry treasury and he told the chief priests and elders where Jesus was for a meager 30 pieces of silver.

I think we could say that the life of Judas was marked by selfish, manipulative, deceitful ambition.

 Codependent Jesus would have begged Judas to change by trying to make him feel guilty. He would have told Judas just how much he was hurting him. And in his pleadings, he would have been enabling Judas’ behavior for fear of losing a disciple. 

 But our Jesus knew exactly what Judas was doing, and he allowed him enough rope to hang himself (literally). We may view that as uncaring and unloving—after all, Jesus could have prevented it. But at what point does prevention cross into control?

 Jesus will let us walk down whatever road we choose. May that be a lesson for us when we think it’s our job to change someone’s behavior and choices, all in the name of ‘love.’ Jesus never tried to manage others’ behavior, and neither should we.

 Interaction #2: Mary, Mother of Jesus

Many of us are thankful for all that our mothers have done in our lives. And while there is a natural bond that can occur within families, many people take this connection a bit too far. With the pervasiveness of mottos like ‘blood is thicker than water,’ and ‘family trumps all,’ it’s no wonder many people feel disloyal if they are not at their family’s beck and call.

 In Matthew 12:46-50 Jesus was speaking to the crowd in typical Jesus fashion. “While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

 Our Jesus knew what his purpose on this earth was.

 Codependent Jesus would have dropped everything because his family needed him. He would have pushed his purpose aside, believing that he owed it