Will is spiraling this week after Taylor Swift gave us the gift of absolutely NOTHING at the AMAs—no album drop, no cryptic tweet, not even a smudged winged eyeliner. Eleni is gleefully dragging him through the mud, especially now that Taylor herself confirmed she hasn’t even started recording Reputation (Taylor’s Version). Tragic. But Will’s not letting the Swiftie drought kill his vibe—he’s here to spill about the religious experience that is seeing Beyoncé live (spoiler: he ascended). Meanwhile, Eleni dives deep into the influencer circus that was Jazmyn Smith’s wedding at the Blank Spaces Castle in New York during this week’s “Why Is This Trending?” Then it’s time to overanalyze Demi Lovato’s dating history because—surprise!—she’s married now, and yes, it’s to someone named Jordan Lutes (we're Googling too). They also detour into the latest mess from the Harry Potter fandom before starting an actual civil war over which Hogwarts house they belong to (spoiler: it’s not that deep, but also it absolutely is). In their first ever Breaking News (read: mild chaos) segment, they find out Hailey Bieber is now a billionaire and react the only way that makes sense—by screaming out the studio window with the iconically unhinged Owen Thiele. After publicly traumatizing several innocent New Yorkers, they head back inside for a little segment called “Shut Up and Listen,” presented by First Response, where they help listeners turn dumpster-fire moments into something vaguely useful. Chaos. Sass. Unverified facts. You're welcome.

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