Sometimes, after DNA surprises are revealed, our relationships with our raised parents become strained. Sometimes, this leads to estrangement. But for others, these surprises simply compound already strained relationships. 

When Dawn had her DNA surprise, she was already virtually no contact with her mother. In this week’s episode, she shares why she initially made the decision to go little to no contact with her raised family, largely due to her mistreatment compared to her other siblings. 

She reveals why she took her DNA test to begin with, and how she finally learned the truth about her parentage. While Dawn’s relationships with her raised family remain distant, she’s built incredible relationships with her newfound step-siblings, who insist that had her biological father known about her, he would have loved and accepted her. 

Thank you for sharing your story, Dawn.

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In this bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I chat with Jenna Hedstrom, E-RYT 500 and Expert Breathwork Facilitator. Jenna will lead a breathwork session at the DNA Surprise Retreat, September 19-22, 2024 in Phoenix, AZ.

During our conversation, we discuss what breathwork is and how it benefits us. We also chat about how to overcome blockers around practicing something new, like breathwork. 

If this discussion resonated with you, join us at the DNA Surprise Retreat this year, where we will cover this and more topics in community with people who understand the emotions that follow a DNA Surprise.

Resources:

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(CW: Suicide, abuse)
A common question in our community is “when is the right time to tell the truth about parentage?” While some say there is never a good time to tell, many believe that the truth should be shared from birth. In this week’s episode, Miranda’s story highlights the importance of telling early - and often. 

Miranda’s mother never hid the truth about her paternity, but she still recalls the shock of hearing it explicitly stated when she was a young child. She shares how her curiosity about her biological father led her to take a DNA test, which created connections with newfound family members. 

Miranda’s story is filled with challenges - and love. Despite the abuse, rejection, and profound loss she has experienced, she maintains compassion for everyone involved. 

Thank you for sharing your story, Miranda.

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During this bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I interview advanced yoga teacher Lanita Ugstad. Lanita will facilitate a gentle movement session at the DNA Surprise Retreat, September 19-22, 2024 in Phoenix, AZ.

We discuss how yoga is beneficial for people who have experienced trauma, and what it means to facilitate a session through a trauma lens. Lanita also offers some guidance for people who are apprehensive about practicing yoga (hint: you don’t need to be super flexible!).

If this discussion resonated with you, join us at the DNA Surprise Retreat this year, where we will cover this and more topics in community with people who understand the emotions that follow a DNA Surprise.

Resources:

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Did you grow up feeling different from your family? That feeling of being inexplicably out of place haunts many people in the DNA surprise community throughout childhood and adulthood - before they uncover the truth.

In this week’s episode, Sarah shares how while she always felt different from her family - she was more sensitive and had a different worldview. Still, she never suspected that her beloved father wasn’t biologically related to her. After his unexpected and tragic passing, Sarah and her sister decided to take 23andMe tests, beginning her shocking DNA surprise journey.

She reflects on how this discovery has further strained her relationship with her mother, but has yielded an incredible relationship with her newfound sister.
Thank you for sharing your story, Sarah.

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In this bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I speak with therapist Venessa De La Cruz about betrayal trauma. Venessa will facilitate a session on Betrayal Trauma at the DNA Surprise Retreat, September 19-22 in Phoenix, AZ.

She defines what betrayal trauma is and how things like DNA surprises can manifest for us both physically and mentally. We also dive into how to begin rebuilding trust again.

If this discussion resonated with you, join us at the DNA Surprise Retreat this year, where we will cover this and more topics in community with people who understand the emotions that follow a DNA Surprise.

Resources:

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So many DNA surprises start with a gift. Mothers Day. Fathers Day. Prime Day. Christmas. Almost every month, consumer DNA testing companies offer deals encouraging people to give a DNA test as a present. If you’re listening to this podcast, you know how this sometimes turns out.

In this week's episode, Shannon shares how after receiving a DNA test as a gift from a friend, she learned that her birth certificate father is not genetically related to her. As it turns out, her biological father was a well-known figure in the small town she was raised in. She tells us how this discovery has affected her family and her sense of identity, and how she’s building a relationship with her newfound siblings.

Thank you for sharing your story, Shannon.

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This special episode of DNA Surprises features Megan Irwin, a licensed therapist specializing in grief, loss, trauma, and PTSD. Megan will facilitate a session on parts work at the 2024 DNA Surprise Retreat, September 19-22 in Phoenix, AZ.

During our discussion, we covered what parts work is (and isn’t) and why people typically think of it in terms of their inner child. Megan shared how recognizing and freeing our parts leads to a greater sense of harmony within oneself. We also chatted about her session at the retreat.

If this discussion resonated with you, join us at the DNA Surprise Retreat this year, where we will cover this and more topics in community with people who understand the emotions that follow a DNA Surprise.

Resources:

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Race. Ethnicity. Heritage. These are complex topics without the added nuance of a DNA surprise. Author Janeen Jackson grew up with two younger brothers and her parents in an African American household. In this week’s episode, she shares how, through a DNA test, she not only learned that she is adopted, but that her biological father is a white man. 

Janeen discusses the complexities of navigating familial bonds, and her journey to acceptance and understanding. She also reveals the purpose behind her children’s book, Hello, Sweet Baby An Adoption Journey which helps children and adults navigate and understand the nuances of adoption and identity.

Thank you for sharing your story, Janeen.

Resources:

Hello, Sweet Baby An Adoption Journey

Blog: Mixed-Up Diary

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If there is one thing I hope we can all agree on, it’s that families come in all shapes and sizes. Many people with DNA surprises end up with two, three, or more fathers and just as many mothers, too. 

When Steve experienced his DNA surprise, he already had two men in his life that he called “Dad.” After he learned the truth about who his biological father is, he added a third to his list. In this week’s episode, Steve shares how he uncovered the truth. Trust me when I say, it’s an extremely unique story, and not much surprises me these days. 

Thank you for sharing your story, Steve.

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