Anything can reopen a narcissistic childhood wound; a sight, a smell, a dirty look, or name calling. When old wounds are reopening, negative core beliefs, such as: I am not lovable, I am stupid, I don't matter, I'm powerless, is reactivated. Unless we get to the root cause of the problem and dismantle the lies of these negative core beliefs, we can not truly heal at the causal level. Once we face these childhood wounds, we can reprocess the feelings and paradigm shift out of the darkness

An act of omission is usually what a parent doesn't do for the child. An act of commission is what a parent does do for a child. The commission in this case is physical abuse, and emotional abuse. People fail to recognize that just cause acts of omission do not leave bruises, that there are not scares. Often time the bruise is internal and sometimes gets internalized and creates self destruction in the person. When there is an enlightened witness who can be a truth light to the victim, they can spare the individual the self blame or the projection that come with trying to rid themselves of the psychological poisons. Childhood is a hostage situation and even children that know the truth are in a horrible double dungeon of darkness situation because there is nothing that they can do since they need the parents to survive. Children would rather blame themselves then hold their parents reasonable.

The demise of narcissism is based on healing. When we are healed we no longer want to play the game. A victim or preparator. Other peoples pain is no longer a gain and perceptually addicted to pain is no longer needed. Toxic bonds are not easy to break, telling people to just get over it and move on is the antithesis of being their enlightened witness. The physical or emotional abuse is painful enough, what is more painful is when society and the people around you deny your reality or minimize it.

Some of us look grown up, but inside we are not. Developmental arrest can occur as a result of childhood wounds/trauma. When we don't have healthy parenting and healthy dependence, it is impossible to mature and develop, separate, individuate, and become strong and autonomous. Emotional immaturity creates chaos because internally the person feels dis-regulated and chaotic. resorting to defense mechanisms like, alcohol, drugs, and overeating, not only don't help, they actual hurt the development process by locking us in psychological prison. To start to grow and mature we have to revisit the past, and heal our wounds.

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When we are wounded on a micro level, these wounds express on a macro scale. The reverse of that is true. When we treat each other with human indignity, we create paranoia, angry, and when our voices are not heard to, attuned to, and empathized with; we tend to up the ante into projections and explosions. When we find pathways to healing and connection and mirror each other, we are the light that heals human and global disconnect. Be the light.

Trust develops in the first few months or years of life. We are lucky enough to primary caregivers who are emphatic, nurturing, and attuned to our feelings, we will develop a sense of trust in ourselves and in the world. When we are wounded in childhood, trust is broken and we can either withdraw or continue to repeat bad patterns of trusting people who hurt and betray us. Once trust is broken, it is very hard to repair. Sometime we just have to pull back and self reflect and self correct on our own patterns and heal our childhood wounds.

Sometime people choose ineffectual therapists because they are repeating dysfunctional relationships from their family origin. After all, a therapeutic relationship is a relationship and if you have had a poor pattern of choosing dysfunctional relationships in general, please do your research before you choose your healer. A good therapist should a be a good fit for you, someone you feel comfortable with. A good therapist has a system that is clearly spelled out before you get involved with the therapy. A good therapist will also be transparent about methods and payments involved. A good therapist should have done his or her own therapeutic work and offer you referrals to others if they feel that you are not a good fit. Therapy is like dating, keep going until you find someone that you can benefit from.

In order to be vulnerable to narcissist abuse, we must be groomed to need outside validation. When are primary care givers attune to our emotional needs and leave us wanting for mirroring and attunement, we become desperate for this experience. When we lack good boundaries, people can penetrate our emotional walls in order to use and manipulate our need to feel important and be loved. In order to heal from this level of abuse and prevent ourselves from giving over our dreams, minds, and heart to people who abuse us we have to heal our inner wounds first.