Dr. Judy WT"Freud"

Enablers of bad behaviors often times come from families that normalize bad behavior. When we are in a toxic environment we sometimes don't know we are in this toxic environment. Part of getting conscious and stopping this enabling behavior is identifying the blueprint that sets us up for tolerating it. It is important as a first attempt to direct our attention towards the behavior as oppose to the person. As I say to my patients, don't drop the person, drop the problem, but if the person wont drop the problem you may need to move on.

When your primary caregivers do not create safety and secure attachment, it lays a foundation for a system gone wrong. Parents that enroll their children in becoming parentified adult children will associate love with being smothered and controlled and can easy become love avoidant. Children who have been emotionally abandoned are more prone to become love addicts. Toxic bonds are formed when in the first few months and years of life. In order to avoid the repetition principle of selecting relationships that break you down, do your healing and dismantle the old blueprint so that you can paradigm shift into a new way of being.

In order for us to heal globally, we must heal individually. When we are in the consciousness of selfishness and apathy, we can not create synergy and global healing. Apathy is created when parents put their own needs before the needs of their children. It is a system gone wrong. This system gone wrong creates narcissistic injuries and psychopathic breakdowns. we need to realize that we are all interconnected and we are all responsible to heal ourselves, so that we can positively impact others and be the cause of better outcomes for not only our lives, but the lives of others. Pay your humane nature forward. healingglobaldisconnect.com

There is a difference between healthy entitlement and unhealthy entitlement. When children get their needs met, and feel OK about asking for their needs, they grow up in an environment of healthy entitlement. When children grow up either spoiled or deprived, they end up getting their needs met by controlling and empowering over others through aggressive or passive aggressive needs. Unhealthy entitlement is the same as unhealthy narcissism versus healthy narcissism. When our needs are meet early in life, we feel good about asking others about meeting our own needs. When we have a whole in the soul, the needs become an endless, bottomless pit that no one can fulfill.

Anything can reopen a narcissistic childhood wound; a sight, a smell, a dirty look, or name calling. When old wounds are reopening, negative core beliefs, such as: I am not lovable, I am stupid, I don't matter, I'm powerless, is reactivated. Unless we get to the root cause of the problem and dismantle the lies of these negative core beliefs, we can not truly heal at the causal level. Once we face these childhood wounds, we can reprocess the feelings and paradigm shift out of the darkness

An act of omission is usually what a parent doesn't do for the child. An act of commission is what a parent does do for a child. The commission in this case is physical abuse, and emotional abuse. People fail to recognize that just cause acts of omission do not leave bruises, that there are not scares. Often time the bruise is internal and sometimes gets internalized and creates self destruction in the person. When there is an enlightened witness who can be a truth light to the victim, they can spare the individual the self blame or the projection that come with trying to rid themselves of the psychological poisons. Childhood is a hostage situation and even children that know the truth are in a horrible double dungeon of darkness situation because there is nothing that they can do since they need the parents to survive. Children would rather blame themselves then hold their parents reasonable.

The demise of narcissism is based on healing. When we are healed we no longer want to play the game. A victim or preparator. Other peoples pain is no longer a gain and perceptually addicted to pain is no longer needed. Toxic bonds are not easy to break, telling people to just get over it and move on is the antithesis of being their enlightened witness. The physical or emotional abuse is painful enough, what is more painful is when society and the people around you deny your reality or minimize it.

Some of us look grown up, but inside we are not. Developmental arrest can occur as a result of childhood wounds/trauma. When we don't have healthy parenting and healthy dependence, it is impossible to mature and develop, separate, individuate, and become strong and autonomous. Emotional immaturity creates chaos because internally the person feels dis-regulated and chaotic. resorting to defense mechanisms like, alcohol, drugs, and overeating, not only don't help, they actual hurt the development process by locking us in psychological prison. To start to grow and mature we have to revisit the past, and heal our wounds.

Subscribe now for weekly live videos! Every Thursday at 8pm PST.
---------------

---------------
Get a FREE PDF copy of Dr. Judy’s book when and a free 15 minute consultation at: http://www.drjudywtf.com