Dr. Judy WT"Freud"

Not everyone who is passive aggressive is narcissistic. The passive aggressive behavior can be a defense mechanism or it could be a way to demean, devalue, and destroy other people. It can make them feel gas lite and crazy, empowering over them behind their back. Silent treatment is a common of being passive aggressive. These people lack communication skills and do not know how to resolve conflict. This shame based personality type will resort to covert means to gain power and control at the expense of others.

People who are most vulnerable to Ponzi schemes and other rip off schemes are people who have been validate in early life. Rather than protecting children, some families use their own children to fulfill their needs. They may even use their children to help build a corporate business and even use their college funds to bail them out of jail as in the case of "Robert", our call in guest. These boundary violations groom people to feel that these violations are not only OK but will get them the psychological validation/approval they so crave. By presenting these scheming deals as opportunities to make big money the web of deception is setup; being invited into the web then seems like a invitation to be part of a special opportunity and indeed the opportunity is very special. Especially destructive.

Overt narcissism is much more obvious. There is an air of flamboyance. A way of being in the world were they grandiose themselves and act as if they are better than everyone else even if this is unearned. Narcissistic defense seemingly protect against childhood wounds, ultimately leaving family and friendships destroys. Most people suffering from this disorder will not seek treatment because they do not want to go there because they do not want to go into their wounds of childhood which they ave so carefully covered up. They defense of entitlement is actually a defense feeling shameful and worthless.

The covert narcissistic is in some sense more dangerous because you do not seem them coming. They act as if they care, they act as if they are committed, they act as if they love you, but they have been so injured that they have been left apathetic. As they age they may act out or may also act out by replacing their significant other and toss them aside in exchange for a better supply. The "better" might be more beautiful, richer, more gullible, and more relatable. They don't tend to stick around people that expose their fake self.

Fragile parents create pressure on a child to hold them up and compensate for their weakness. Whether the fragility steams from mental or physical health issues; the child is often time parentified and expected to over function in the family. This kind of pressure leaves the child feeling isolated, anxies, and social rejected. They may not even be aware that their parental dysfunction is the cause of the distress because they might just think this is normal for the family. When parents lean to hard on the child, the child will eventually fall apart. It is important for children and eventually adults to understand that their role is not to be the adult to their parents. Psychological clarity and good boundaries go a long way in restructuring the relationship gone wrong.

Building a sense of self after narcissistic abuse requires that you identify your childhood wounds, dismantlement their effects on you and re-code into health. The messages your parents left you with diminish your sense of self, leaving you at the effect of life. What ideally should have happened, is proper attainment and mirroring and support of yourself. What happens in narcissistic abusive families, is that the emerging self is hijacked in order to serve the needs of the parents robbing you of proper development. Sometimes you have to severe the ties with people who don't support you.