Driven to Drink

Right from the start, Greg is half kicked in the ass.

Jen?  “Ehhhhh…I’d say about 40%”

The beers:

To start, we share a Lagunita’s Hop Stoopid bomber. (“A bawmuh, kid.  Like it’s owuh jawb.”)

Then, Jen  has a  Southern Tier Gemini and Greg, Ommegang Three Philosophers.  There was also a Sam Smith’s Winter Ale in there somewhere.  Lots of beer.  “Well, we’re anticipating a 40 – 50% chance of kicked-in-the-ass.  Back to you, Ron.”

The topics:

We start with gratitude.  And whiskey.  (Yep.  After all that beer.)

We open a gifted bottle of Woodford Reserve Master’s Collection 1838 Style White Corn Bourbon.  This is a mash bill that would have been used through the infancy of the state of Kentucky, just after our yinzer forefathers moved from Western PA to the newly minted “Kentucky,” when Thomas Jefferson offered, in essence, the very first corn subsidy.  1838 is the year Woodford Reserve erected its first distillery, and indeed it is the oldest distillery in the state of Kentucky.

And holy shit is this bourbon good.  Triple distilled in a copper pot still, 45.2% alcohol by volume (90.4 proof).  The mash bill is the same as the typical Woodford Reserve expression, just with the white corn that pays homage to originators and innovators, Dr. James Crow and Oscar Pepper: 72% corn, 18% rye, 10% malted barley.  (Today’s bourbons use yellow corn which is cheaper and more ubiquitous.  In the late 1700’s and 1800’s, and indeed in 1838, white corn would have been the grain used by Pepper and Crow.)

We dream of hiking mid-winter through snowy forests (…Cook Forest to be precise…), breathing the clean, crisp air that seems to alleviate allergies and chest colds, with flasks of high proof spirits.  Specifically, one flask with this very bourbon and another with Wigle Landlocked Spiced and Oaked…which is akin to rum except using Pennsylvania buckwheat honey instead of sugar or molassas, then spiced with a giant tea bag of sorts, then aged in used whiskey barrels.  Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it.

Kate licks her coot-coot, which transitions us into our second topic:

New Year’s Resolutions.

The resolution that Greg eventually stated in last weekend’s post, “Driven to Resolution (2015),” was not his initial resolution.  Here you’ll hear the initial musings of what would have been a self-serving, shitty resolution that placed Greg firmly in that false, judgmental position of superiority that he seeks to extinguish.

“You need to have more acceptance.”  That’s literally what she (Jen) said.

Acceptance.

To not only strive toward breaking free of fear and judgment but to also acknowledge and accept oneself, and others.

Jen’s personal goals, as gleaned from the conversation: To improve myself, to stop feeling like a victim, to bounce back, to empower myself and take control of my life, take control of my health, be more patient and accepting, to cherish the good things, be more present, and celebrate all that’s positive.

Big stuff.  Good stuff.  Doable stuff.

Musically, you’ll note a “Thank You” sandwich, with Led Zeppelin up front and Dido at the close. Not Dildo.  Dido. Thank you.

We present to you, “Gratitude and Resolutions.”

Hi.  How are you?  I hope well.

Me?  Also well, thank you for asking.

What you’ll find here are a couple of self-improvement mini podcasts. It’s just me…expressing thoughts mitigated by life, by readings, by spiritual podcasts, and by experiences. Interspersed will be lovely meditation music.  Then, I’m going to close the whole thing by attaching my favorite mini-meditation, “F*ck That: A Guided Meditation,” by Jason Headley, which is available on YouTube as a video and iTunes as audio only.

I’ve been seeing quite a few posts, articles, and reports regarding, in essence, “Things (not) to do to be a better/the best parent/partner.” Healthy doses of unequivocal, dismissive, judgmental, “I’m/We’re right” and “You’re/They’re wrong.” And while I’m a certified master of such endeavors (…lest this kettle be caught once again calling the pot black…), my goals are to be less certain when certainty is impossible (…which, regarding human behavior, relationships, and emotions, is nearly always…), more accepting when acceptance seems unprincipled, and keep my ears and eyes open more than my mouth.

Thus the, “Take care of yourself” mini.

I’ve also spent time driving, sitting, running, and hiking with the podcasts of Jack Kornfield, Thich Naht Hanh, and Ram Dass…and these men spend considerable time focused on personal responsibility, mindfulness, loving-kindness, and the reality of the universe beyond our sensory experiences.

Thus the, “Heal yourself” mini.

I also don’t want to take any of this too seriously. To be earnest is human, but to be cheeky is divine.

Thus the, “Fuck That” guided meditation.

I also recently realized that the second word of my last name, “Del Duca,” or “of the duke” in translation, is homophonic with the Sanskrit word, “Dukkha,” which translates as suffering, anxiety, stress, or discontentment. So, Del Dukkha would mean: of the suffering, anxiety, stress, or discontentment. And that, ladies and gentleman, is a coincidence that hits very close to homophone.

We present to you, “Take Care, Let Go, F*ck That.”

Today’s podcast includes two minis sandwiched between a couple of wonderful songs.   Here’s what’s on tap:

Mini 1: Denver…in which we find our Driven to Drink couple uncomfortably stuffed, with food and booze…and the energy they intended to bring to this fades quickly, which is why what was supposed to be a full-on podcast becomes a mini.

High…or perhaps lowlights:

Mini 2: Post-Denver…in which your faithful companions go all-in with Lagunitas.  Jen has, of course, Hop Stoopid (102 IBU, 8% ABV). Greg goes with Brown Shugga (51 IBU, 9.8% ABV). We read the wit and oddly deep prosetry (…it’s like prose but it’s like poetry…) on the Lagunitas bottles, and we wonder, “How do you say Eschew?!”

On a side note, Jen had an imperial IPA in Denver, “Jagged Mountain Triple Bypass” coming in at a whopping 450 IBU, and an almost impossible 14.5% ABV. Very sweet.  Kind of syrupy.  But delicious.

Beware Jen’s big sneezes in the midst of the IBU conversation.  They are loud and they are abrupt, and if you’re wearing headphones it might be less than a pleasant experience for you.

The Music:

“Get Out of Denver” by Bob Seger
“Rocky Mountain High” by John Denver
“I Can Read Your Mind” by R.J. Heid

We present to you, “Get In to Denver.”

Hot on the heels of having watched the Scientology documentary, “Going Clear,” on HBO and recorded our “Going Clear (Oh Dear!)” podcast, Jen uttered a word utterly unknown to Greg.

That word…was, “Pastafarian.”

But before we go there, let’s start at the beginning. Beer. (There is a beer volcano in Pastafarian heavan, so that’s good. And a stripper factory. But again, we’re ahead of ourselves.)

Beer, as we all know, is a wonderful thing. Beer, as we’ll come to know, is the only reason Jen agrees to do this damn podcast…and so Greg will continue to deliver the goods because Jen always delivers the laughs during discussions.

The Beers (“Daaaaahbears”):

Tonight, Jen consumes, “The Walking Dead” by Terrapin. A fragrant, mildly but certainly pleasantly sweet, happily (…and hoppily…) bitter and well balanced brew described as a red IPA with blood orange peels. It’s 6.7 alcohol by volume. “It’s big enough,” Jen spoke, and it was so.

Greg is excited to be drinking “Our Special Ale” by Anchor Brewing. Generally amazing, and specifically so this year. It’s a dark Christmas Ale with hints of traditional holiday spices and the unique, delicious, mildly metallic flavor that only a steam beer can achieve. Fun fact, this is Anchor’s 41st special ale and Greg is 41. Here’s hoping they both make it to a century of specialness.

The topics:

We begin with a fifth grader telling Greg, “I don’t want that creepy dude looking at me.” The creepy dude? Bill Murray…from the movie “Stripes,” on Greg’s shirt. Later, Jen causes Greg unexpected laughter and obvious déjà vu by saying, “I want Bill Murray to stop pointing at me.”

Greg is enjoying a few squares of “Endangered Species” 88% dark chocolate, and this starts a phonological debate. (Phonology, described in plain language, is the way you say sounds in speech.  The difference between “DOWN-tin abbey” in England and “DAHN TAHN” in Pittsburgh is phonological in nature.) So we’ll ask you, our faithful readers and listeners. Let’s do a bit of an experiment. First, say the word, “Species” out loud. Go ahead. Do that. (Yeah, right now!) Now, put it in this sentence, “I’ve never conceived such a species of sparrow.” Did you say, “spee-shees” or “spee-sees”? Okay, number two. Say, “association.” Now the sentence, “This homeowners association is getting on my damn nerves with all of the rules regarding sparrow species.” Did you say, “ass-so-shee-ay-shun” or “ass-so-see-ay-shun”? Try doing this all while inebriated, and overthinking the damn thing. By the way, if you listen(ed) to the podcast, did you happen to catch how both Greg and Jen reflexively said each word? (Stop making me do work, Del Duca!) Okay, okay! Sorry.

Jen then has a deep thought. Really, quite a deep and profound thought.

“Weird is not a mental illness.”

Let that sink in.

We moved through a discussion of goths, vampires, fetishists, and then here is where Jen said, “It’s like the Pastafarians.” Greg’s face obviously shone confused, and the discussion turned quickly to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. You may have recently readabout a woman in Massachusettes, one Lindsay Miller, who successfully fought to wear the “traditional head covering” of CotFSM members. “What’s that?” you ask? A colander. Yep. A fucking colander. Like Johnny Appleseed…but not. We explore the website of the CotFSM and watch a wonderfully cheeky, quite British, video (…you should link through and watch it.  It’s only 3 minutes…) explaining the church and the monster and such. It’s like Douglas Adams’ ghost come back to form a satirical religion with an important larger social-historical message. We discuss the prophet Bobby Henderson, who apparently wrote a letter to the Kansas Board of Education after they attempted to insert intelligent design into the Kansas curriculum.

We finish by discussing the mind-boggling genius of Trey Parker and Matt Stone…and South Park. (Check out the “Production” section.  They crank these things out weekly so that each show can touch upon current, like absolutely literally current events.)

Have fun people, and may the Flying Spaghetti Monster (…yeah, I capitalized it…) always embrace you in his noodly appendages. May your pirate ancestors welcome you to the beer volcano and may you ever nibble upon the FSM’s delicious, sizable meatballs.

The music you’ll be enjoying:

Intro: “Flying Spaghetti Monster” by Doctor P
Outro: “Three Little Birds” by Bob Marley

We present to you, “Of Flying Spaghetti Monsters and Men.”

(Source)

Chocolate hoarders unite!

We begin this podcast with a cocoa row, which you must pronounce as, “kuh-COW Rahw,” where “row” rhymes with “cow.”  If you say it with just the right emphasis and amount of drama, you’ll sound like a crow.  (Which doesn’t rhyme with “cow,” for those keeping track.)

We continue with several new, “What the frig were you smoking, Del Duca, when your brain decided to misinterpret those lyrics THIS way?!”

First, “The Chowder Song.”  That’s “Hello,” by Adele for the rest of the world.  If you want to crawl into my noggin for a moment, and you might not want to do that because it’s like a freaking psych ward in there often enough, the fun starts with the chorus.

Chowder from the out side (“theeyout…sighhhh-ee-igh-igh-duh”)
Chowder from the in side (“theeyin…sighhhh-ee-igh-igh-eed”)
And you know your chowder is the best that I’ve had,
And you know your chowder is the best that I’ve ever had.

The other?  I call it “The Activia Song.”  Unfortunately, I can’t even imagine what the actual song is or who sings it as I sit here and type.

Gimme a minute…

(Google searching lyrics that I don’t know.  That’s fun.)

…

GOT IT!

It’s “Budapest” by George Ezra.

My shit-for-brains-lyric-interpretation comes in at the tag after each of the mini-verses.

I’ve got: Oh-WHOAAAA-Oh…Activia.

Apparently it’s actually variations on “You, You, I’d give it all.”

There’s this Louie C.K. line that I love.  He utters it during a bit in which his 3-year-old child is arguing with him that Fig Newtons are actually called Pig Newtons. Here’s the link.  It’s fucking hilarious, all 10 minutes of the bit, particularly if you’ve ever dealt with toddlers.  It’s also not even remotely safe for work, so put on your headphones, and make sure you’re either alone or in an environment where people won’t give a shit if you guffaw maniacally.  Anyway, at one point he tells her, “Yeah, Pig Newtons. Fine. Go ahead. Good luck to you. Go through life, see what kind of job you can hold down with shit like that clanking around in your head.”

I feel that way about me sometimes.  Sometimes more than sometimes.

Hmm…

Yikes, this introduction to the podcast has entirely gotten away from me, hasn’t it?

Okay then.

The beers:

Jen.  It’s no surprise.  Lagunitas “Hop Stoopid.”
Greg. Lavery “The Devil’s Pumpkin.”

The topic:

The documentary, “Going Clear.”  Do you know it?  Have you seen it?  Read the book?  It’s a documentary about L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology.  It’s fascinating and horrifying and enlightening and ultimately illuminating.  Why?  Well, it’s easy to poke fun at a contemporary science fiction writer named Ron (…RON, for fuck’s sake…) who looks like a ginger-nested hinge-jawed toothy cenobite from the Hellraiser world who, somehow, takes that science fiction (…fact: Hubbard is the most prolific writer in history…) and creates a megolithic, secretive, cultish, scarily powerful church which accumulates wealth like John Travolta accumulates uncomfortable male masseuses, sues the pants off of the IRS, and continues to exist as a tax-free religious entity to this day.  Very easy, indeed. However, shift the entire milieu of Scientology several thousands, or even hundreds, of years in the past…and how bat-shittier is it than ANY religion?

The conclusion:

Greg wouldn’t eat Jesus.  (Really, I wouldn’t.  Just sayin’.)

The music you’ll hear during this episode includes:

So, without further tangent-taking, we present to you, “Going Clear (Oh Dear)”

Today, ladies and gentlemen, is the one-year anniversary of Driven to Drink.

(one-person golf-clap applause-break)

Precisely one year ago, “A Brussels Sprouts’ Stalk is a Cruel, Cruel, Mistress” was released, and fifty-two episodes later we’ve progressively arrived somewhere much closer to where we’d like to be than where we were even last week. With the equipment and software we have, we can bring you a consistently audible, acoustically leveled, and fairly professionally sounding product. We’ve found our voices, our cadence, and a way to be organized and focused but not so structured that the authenticity and conversational-tone we desire is compromised. Boil it all down to the rock-crystal structure…and we’re happy with what we’ve become and are still becoming. Also, we’re happy and deeply grateful that you’ve decided to journey with us. Thank you.

Now, on with the show!

The Beers:

Jen – Lagunitas Hop Stoopid. No surprises here. When we have relatively little money and don’t want to take chances, we bring home our IPA “go to.” Hell, even when we have more than enough money, we often buy lots and lots of Hop Stoopid.

Greg – Southern Tier Mokah (22oz.), then Wigle Walkabout 4-grain whiskey brought to proof with apple cider, then Larceny. You can imagine how slurry Greg becomes, and you might still underestimate.

The topics:

That’s about it D2Dreeps, except for the music.  “Black Magic Woman/Gypsy Queen” by Santana…off of Abraxas, which has that album cover that offered a young Gregory Del Duca his first erection.  (Explained more in this post: Middle School Erections.  It’s a fun read, and not nearly as risqué as the title would suggest.)

We present to you, “David Copperfield’s Secret: (un)Revealed.”

(Look at that Punim!)

Welcome back for another post and podcast. We love having you back…or, if this is your first time, welcome to the shit show!

Dip that chocolate generously in the Jif Jar and don’t look back. At least, that’s how Jen sees things.

She also now has such a finicky palate from so many squares of exceptional European hand-crafted chocolates that she had the audacity (“thee au…DA…city”) to compare Lindt milk chocolate to Palmer’s chocolatey-flavored hydrogenated corn-based quick drying candy clay. And Greg has the meatballs to let loose with an improvised Italian-American accent that starts shittily, goes all Kevin Costner as Robin Hood (…what the fuck IS that accent?!…), then leans Steve Carell as Gru in Despicable Me, which is a boorish, unoriginal, albeit consistent (…fuck you very much, Mr. Costner…) Russian accent. But hell, it made Jen laugh, and really that’s all that matters.

Anyway, the beers.

Jen: Lagunitas Hop Stoopid, which has become our absolute “go to” IPA. It’s the most fragrant beer we’ve ever had the pleasure to run our noses by. And it’s generally as fresh, vibrant, bright, citrusy, and crisp on the palate as Richard Simmons at a pride parade. It’s amazing. And…it’s cheap. Like, under $5 for a 22 ounce bomber cheap.

Greg: Sam Smith’s organic chocolate stout. Thick, black, perfectly roasted malt, with a touch of chocolaty sweetness…and absolutely none of the metallic bitterness that creeps into so, so many stouts and porters. Dee-lish. Dee-light. The groove definitely is in the heart.

Which brings us to the topic: Fuck our cats.

I know, I know…pretty harsh language for such seemingly benign creatures.

However, if you are a regular listener and reader, you know a few things:

1. Our cats are assholes, but not just assholes.

2. Emmy is a tortoise shell tabby, which only explains the assholery, with Autism, PTSD, sensory processing challenges, Pica, and inflammatory bowel disease. Yes, all of that.  Really.  And no, I’m not being dramatic or hyperbolic.

3. Lizzy is a poof-ball tuxedo cat with social anxiety, Pica, and an intellectual disability from being born into a bad situation and then removed from her Mother and siblings well before she learned how to be a functioning feline in society.

“What’s Pica?” you ask. Oh, you can look it up, but basically it’s when an animal eats non-food items. In Lizzy’s case, it’s rubber and ribbon and plastic. Ever have to pull an undigested rubber band out of a confused, clueless, and uncomfortable cat’s anus…then have it snap shit out and onto your face when it finally comes loose? Fun times. And Emmy enjoys licking dirty blinds and heating vents. The sound of a cat’s sandpapery tongue on a metallic, hollow, echoic vent grate is…well, grating, to say the least.

I’ll let you listen, but to make the longer story short…we tried to shift the cats to a raw meat diet, for their health and to respect the fact that they are, technically, carnivores. But because these cats are less carnivore and more psych ward, that went about as well you’d expect. So please have a listen, because we’re sure these cats are going live long enough to put us in the actual psych ward.

Given the title of the post and podcast, it’s no great secret what piece of music you’ll be hearing. However, here’s a lovely link to the final song. It’s quite awesome.

We present to you, “Welcome to the Jungle.”

I live with a super social twelve-year-old.  Our home is conveniently located within biking and walking distance to a vast majority of her friends.  Therefore, I interact with dozens, seemingly hundreds, of middle-schoolers on the reg.  That means “regularly.”  Not only do I hear, and apparently absorb (…totes…) their language, but I also hear, and often abhor, their music.  At times, I’m tempted to let something much like this slip from my mouth, “Music is horrible today.”

Guess what, though?

It’s not true.

What I’d really be saying is, “When I was a kid…our shitty pop music was less shitty than this generation’s shitty pop music.”  But see, shitty pop music is shitty pop music is shitty pop music.  And also, all art is relative, and personal, and wrought with nostalgic, emotional overlay.

I realized this as Jen played, “Hit the Quan” for me.  If you stream the podcast just below this post, you can hear both the song and the insights.

For those of you who’ll just read, and to assure myself that, indeed, every decade’s shitty pop…let’s call it Poop Music, is merely soon-to-be-dated Poop, I did some research.  I use the term “research” quite loosely.  What I really did was look at the “List of Billboard Top 100 chart achievements by decade” on Wikipedia, within which I found the top songs of each decade back to 1958.  That’s right, 1958.  People, Wikipedia is absolutely wonderful for many things.  Not serious academic research, and not as a solitary source.  Don’t dismiss it out of hand just because it’s crowd-sourced.  While it only takes one dick to ruin something, the crowd generally trumps the dick.  However, also realize that the community created a 1958 – 1969 “decade” because, I dunno, the dick won there.

So, for any of you who’ve claimed, in your best crotchety old-man/old-woman demeanor, “Music ain’t like it used to be,” feast your eyes on these lists.  (And hell, link through to the videos to feast your ears as well!)  Keep in mind, there are absolute gems of pop perfection in each decade…and there are heaping mounds of steaming shit as well.  All the way back to the decade that began in, uh…1958.  I won’t try to convince you which songs here are genius, which are formulaic, which are immediately forgetful, unforgettable, and which are vomit-worthy.  I only ask you to keep track of your reactions as you travel back…and be completely honest with yourself.

Because a turd by any other name would smell as putrid.

Here goes:

2010’s – “Songs,” and artists (by total weeks at number one)

“Uptown Funk,” Mark Ronson featuring Bruno mars (14)
“Blurred Lines,”* Robin Thicke featuring T.I. and Pharrell (12)
*No-boobies version**
**If you like boobies, and who doesn’t like boobies (?!),  just google search: blurred lines unrated
“See You Again,” Wiz Khalifa featuring Charlie Puth (12)
“We Found Love,” Rihanna featuring Calvin Harris (10)
“Happy,” Pharrell Williams (10)
“Tik Tok,” Kesha (9)
“Call Me Maybe,” Carly Rae Jepson (9)
“One More Night,” Maroon 5 (9)
“Royals,” Lorde (9)
“Somebody That I Used to Know,” Gotye featuring Kimbra (8)
“All About That Bass,” Meghan Trainor (8)

2000’s – “Songs,” and artists (by total weeks at number one)

“We Belong Together,” Maria Carey (14)
“I Gotta Feeling,” The Black Eyed Peas (14)
“Lose Yourself,” Eminem (12)
“Yeah!,” Usher featuring Lil John and Ludacris (12)
“Boom Boom Pow,” The Black Eyed Peas (12)
“Independent Woman,” Destiny’s Child (11)
“Irreplaceable,” Beyonce (10)
“Low,” Flo Rida featuring T-Pain (10)
“Maria Maria,” Santana featuring The Product G&B  (10)
“Dilemma,” Nelly featuring Kelly Rowland (10)
“Foolish,” Ashanti (10)
“Gold Digger,” Kanye West featuring Jamie Fox (10)

1990’s – “Songs,” and artists (by total weeks at number one)

“One Sweet Day,” Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men (16)
“I Will Always Love You,” Whitney Houston (14)
“I’ll Make Love to You,” Boyz II Men (14)
“Candle in the Wind ‘97/Something About the Way You Look Tonight,” Elton John (14)
“Macarena,” Los Del Rio (14)
“End of the Road,” Boyz II Men (13)
“The Boy is Mine,” Brandy and Monica (13)
“Smooth,” Santana featuring Rob Thomas (12)
“Un-Break My Heart,” Toni Braxton (11)
“I Swear,” All-4-One (11)
“I’ll Be Missing You,” Puff Daddy and Faith Evans featuring 112 (11)

1980’s – “Songs,” and artists (by total weeks at number one)

“Physical,” Olivia Newton-John (10)**
**I never realized how gay this video is, literally and in 80’s vernacular.
“Bette Davis Eyes,” Kim Carnes (9)
“Endless Love,” Diana Ross and Lionel Richie (9)
“Every Breath You Take,” The Poice (8)
“I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll,”** Joan Jett and the Blackhearts (7)
**I also love Rocky Road
“Ebony and Ivory,”** Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder (7)
**this
“Billie Jean,” Michael Jackson (7)
“Call Me,” Blondie (6)
“Lady,” Kenny Rogers (6)
“Centerfold,” The J. Geils Band (6)
“Eye of the Tiger,” Survivor (6)
“Flashdance…What a Feeling,” Irene Cara (6)
“Say, Say, Say,” Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson (6)
“Like a Virgin,” Madonna (6)

1970’s – “Songs,” and artists (by total weeks at number one)

“You Light Up My Life,” Debby Boone (10)
“Night Fever,” Bee Gees (8)
“Tonight’s the Night (Gonna Be Alright),” Rod Stewart (8)
“Shadow Dancing,” Andy Gibb (7)
“Bridge over Troubled Water,” Simon & Garfunkle (6)
“Joy to the World,” Three Dog Night (6)
“The First Time Ever I saw Your Face,” Roberta Flack (6)
“Alone Again (Naturally),” Gilbert O’Sullivan (6)
“Le Freak,”Chic (6)
“My Sharona,” The Knack (6)

(NOTE: For as much shit as the 70’s get, I’m actually quite impressed with these 10 tunes.  Also, I kind of like the unlikely and glorious collision of punk, soul, kink, and the gay community called Disco.)

1958 – 1969 – “Songs,” and artists (by total weeks at number one)

“Mack the Knife,” Bobby Darin (9)
“Theme from a Summer Place,” Percy Faith (9)
“Hey Jude,” The Beatles (9)
“Tossin’ and Turnin’,” Bobby Lewis (7)
“I want to Hold Your Hand,” The Beatles (7)
“I’m a Believer,” The Monkees (7)
“I Heard It Through the Grapevine,” Marvin Gaye (7)
“It’s All in the Game,” Tommy Edwards (6)
“The Battle of New Orleans,” Johnny Horton (6)
“Are You Lonesome Tonight?” Elvis Presley (6)
“Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In,” The 5th Dimension (6)
“In the Year 2525,” Zager and Evans (6)

So…maybe I’ve convinced you, or maybe you’re now doubling down on the assertion that today’s popular music is considerably worse than yesterday’s.  In either case, we present to you, “Now That’s What I Call Poop Music!”

Oh…and at the end?  “Paid In Full (7 Minutes of Madness Remix).”  Pump up the volume, pump up the volume, chkuh-chk-chk-chk Pump that bass!

Here we introduce amarguinha…a sweet, pleasantly nectar-like, shockingly affordable (…about $15 per bottle…) Portuguese almond liqueur that has become a staple in D2D cocktail creations.  The Ginetto becomes the AmarGINha with a simple substitution for the amaretto, and the Bittersweet Portuguese Coffee Cocktail (BPC) is born.  (Please click over to the Cocktails, etc. page to find recipes for all of these.)

Here we discuss “grit,” passionate perseverance in the face of seemingly endless obstacles, discomfort, even failure…for the sake of a longer-term objective.

Here we discuss Chuck Shepherd’s News of the Weird, including:

Our music today comes from Portugal (Just Girls with “Amarguinhas”) and Great Britain (Pink Floyd with “Time”).

Alright people, we present to you, “Fly’s Time.”

(The Persistence of Memory, by Salvador Dali.)

The mood:
Greg is “whiny and complainy,” to quote Jennifer, and likely on the doorstep of illness.

Jen is being a difficult shit to amuse herself and (hopefully) you

The intoxicants:
Jen: Fat Head Hop Juju

Greg: Dogfishhead Burton Baton and TheraFlu Nighttime*

*NOTE: It is likely advisable to NOT combine alcohol with night time cold medicine. However, the combination makes for an amusing, sluggish and slurry Greg with a considerably-less-than-strict brain-to-mouth filter. So have fun with that!

The Topics:
1. Why would a man stand in a bank line and request four-hundred one-dollar bills? Your guess is likely precisely as good as ours.

2. Greg’s latent racism, made manifest by the combination of intoxicants described above, which apparently spans all populations and denominations and has the bite of a toothless nursing home resident.

3. Jen’s sneeze. This is the first time the startler of humans and animals is captured on tape. This must have clipped the recorder’s capabilities and will surely cause you to jump. Ever see that Will Ferrell/Kristin Wiig bit on SNL? Yeah, that.

4. Liberated Syndication (LibSyn) and iTunes. On this date (February 12, 2015 to be precise) we released the very first D2D podcast (“A Brussels Sprout is a Cruel, Cruel, Mistress”) on these platforms. It marks D2D putting on big-kids pants, even though only like 5 people give a shit.

5. Cocktails, etc. On this date, Jen suggests a cocktail page…and here it is! (Actually, it’s back up there…just under my head.  See it?  Yes, there.)

6. Rejection fest. Fall and Winter of 2014 marked Greg’s foray into submitting essays to various blogs, sites, and publications…thus ushering in the late Winter (2015) series of rejection messages. Fun. (But hey, thank YOU for reading and listening.)

The Soundtrack:
At the beginning: “I can read your mind” by R.J. Heid
At the conclusion: “Make it rain” by Ed Sheeran

The final word:
We present to you, “Make it Rain.”