Dude, Did You Hear?

In Episode 7, Luke Skywalker has disappeared and the First Order has risen out of the dust of the Galactic Empire. What’s that? This isn’t Star Wars? This is Dude, Did You Hear? Oh, ok. In this episode, we discover we may be in a simulation, one made by crazy intelligent beings. A simulation with SWORD WATCH 2017 PT II! A simulated world where kids are finding WWII planes in their backyards and lawyers pants are literally on fire. 

Plus the dudes dive into Logan and Kong: Skull Island (and their opinions) to prepare you for your weekend at the movies. 

Dave and Andy are drinking Sapporo and Pacifico (in cans!).

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Dude, Did Your Hear?

The ancient Persians debated things twice. Once while sober. Once while drunk. Debate class must have been a riot.

It wasn’t money burning a whole in this lawyer’s pockets. His pants caught on fire during an arson trial, giving new meaning to “liar, liar, pants on fire.”

Neil De Grasse Tyson thinks it’s a coin flip for whether we’re currently living in a computer simulation. Upon further review, Andy and Dave decide to take the blue pill. They just don’t want to be hassled. 

The Vikings stadium is killing a record number of birds. Not the Falcons, Eagles, or the Cardinals. Birds that don’t know the difference between 4-3, 3-4, and large structures impeding their flight path. 

The Return of Sword Watch 2017! Plus a LINK!

A kid overachieves on his WWII history report. By a lot. (Bullwhip, Leather Jacket, and Fedora not included)

Dave and Andy debate Kong: Skull Island – Dave can’t switch his brain off, Andy can. Somebody liked it, you’ll never guess who.

Logan is an action movie masterpiece. GO SEE IT. RIGHT NOW! But leave the kids and faint-hearted friends at home. Seriously, you better be reading this in line at the theater.

 

We Recommend:

Drinking coffee black and gives tips on how to get there. Like a bowel movement, Andy and Dave enjoy their coffee dark, smooth, and oily. 

Bringing a book. Unless you can’t read. It’s good for your brain... And society.

 

We Don’t Recommend:

Having no real relationships. 

Dune? Don’t. Patrick Stewart has a weird mullet, Sting is gyrating in a loincloth and, unless you studied, you won’t make it through the first act. 

Dave also doesn’t recommend selfies. Or killfies. Or people who use the word killfie.

The OG Assassins. A group of Islamic druggies, followers of a mystic old man in the mountains, or really cool guys in hoods that jump off of high structures into hay bails? Whoever they were, the Hashashin couldn’t sneak their past the Mongols forever.    6 Wild Assassinations:

Gustav III found out he could run but couldn’t hide. Literally. 

The sharpest part of John Wilkes Booth came in the form of his spurs. Which spurred his capture.   Tiberius Gracchus (Jr.) found out what WWF wrestlers have known for years- chairs suck.    Rasputin manages to stay afloat a lot longer than most. Well, until he drown.    Georgi Markov got stuck at a bus stop. He died a few days later.   Kim Jong Nam found out that if you’re related to Kim Jong Un, there’s never a good time to LOL.

In episode six, we examine society and hilarity ensues. Cats are drunk, people are wielding swords, the literal Nutty Professor proposes goat testicles as the cure for everything, and the President of Iceland wants to ban pineapples.

 

So strap in, cause we’re in for a crazy ride... But not one that will kill you, (although, Dave will tell you about one that will) - one that will make you laugh and marvel at the ridiculous world we live in.

 

We’re drinking Beer Run IPA from Ninkasi Brewing and Red Stripe Jamaican Lager

 

Dude, Did You Hear?

 

Alexander the Great hosted an Olympics. But since no one knew how to sport, they just got hammered instead. 

 

Someone designed a roller coaster that will literally kill you. Because some people might want to ensure they go out in style. And because nothing makes population control seem fun like loop-de-loops.

 

Spotify releases the top songs to have sex to. And it turns out Australia is into getting down to some out of this world tunes…

 

Speaking of “out of this world,” scientists make a big discovery of the exo-planetary kind.

 

People start going to happy hour with their cats and the rest of us facepalm while we ponder the future of society.

 

Sword Watch 2017 is now officially underway. 

 

Andy and Dave get excited about what it would look like if modern day US Marines fought the Roman Empire. Please make this happen Hollywood.

We Recommend:

 

Carrying a pocket knife. Whether it's fending off wino cats or opening a bottle of Pinot in the desert, you need a pocket knife. DO IT. BE PREPARED.

 

“Man of the People” from the Reply All podcast. This story contains goat testicles. That should be enough for you.

 

Developing UPenn's key to the ultimate secret of success. Rooster Cogburn would approve.

 

American Crime Story: The People vs. O.J. Simpson. Because we all need a refresher on the craziness that was that trial. Get on it Netflixers!

 

Dave has begun his journey through the AFI’s top 100 movies of all time. He recommends you do the same.

We Don't Recommend:

Paying your employees too much money. LISTEN UP GOOGLE!

 

Dave doesn't feel the pull to the Light Phone. Which is basically the e-cigarette of smartphones. Use self-control like a real person.

 

Lying to beer snobs (even in Ohio). Because they will find you. And they will sue you.

 

Dave and Andy go valiantly to the defense of pineapple on pizza. Because it’s delicious. SCREW YOU, ICELAND.

 

Dave and Andy predict that Jason Segel will eat someone’s face.

 

Stick Around while Sir Patrick Stewart and his crew receive a distress signal from an underground Icelandic group of pineapple lovers. We uncovered a very special "Captain's Log" in honor of his upcoming poop emoji role. 

The History of Rock, Paper, Scissors + Nine Tips to Become a Master

 

Dude, did you hear? We’re introducing a new segment that will air between our regular episodes. In this segment, we dive deep on a topic we think will help expand your knowledge, improve on something develop a skill in some way. We call it – “Dude, Did You know?”

 

In this kick-off segment, Andy dives into the history of Rock, Paper Scissors – the simplest, most ubiquitous strategic game on earth, whose origins are shrouded in the mists of time. 

 

Andy also brings you nine tips on how to master the game of Rock, Paper Scissors. Now when you play your friends, you too can say: “We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.”

 

For instance, dudes usually throw rock, dudettes usually throw scissors, and people in glass houses usually throw stones (wait that’s not a part of this…)

 

Dave and Andy also get mathematical and start dealing with imaginary numbers. Which are like your imaginary friends but actually exist in math and somehow mean something. 

 

We hope these segments help tide you over until the next time we let you know what we heard! 

Episode V: AI Strikes Back.

  It is a dark time for DDYH, as we find ourselves in a world run by deviously intelligent, possibly malevolent AI. Aliens call out, leave a voicemail, and no one listens to it. Birds can ride in coach on your next Etihad flight.   So start your car or grab a beer, (But don’t do both) and hang out with us, just like the Worcester bellringer who got his bell rung.    Dave is drinking Ballast Point’s Tongue Buckler Imperial Red Ale and Andy is drinking Mother Earth’s Boo Koo IPA. We do our best to not get wasted by our 22 oz tasty beverages.    CHECK OUT FEBRUARY’S MIX TAPE IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY   Dude, Did Your Hear?   AI can now lie to your face, just like the kids who bailed on your high school science project.    The next time something gets stuck in your head, it may not be a song. It’s probably a cockroach. If you live in India.   Metallic Hydrogen. It’s no Ambimetic Polyalloy from Terminator 2, but it’ll get the job done. Why? Because interstellar travel made easy, that’s why.   Blue Jet Lightning. It shoots up to 30 miles in the air! Almost as high as people’s blood pressure in Facebook politics! Check it out.   The WOW! signal, 6EQUJ5 was caught by radio telescope on a narrowband frequency in August, 1977. Even 40 years later there’s still no confirmed explanation for its origin.   You want to bring 80 of your pet falcons on the plane with you? Sure! Just don’t let them get torn apart by Tom Brady.    UNU’s Swarm AI successfully predicted the Super Bowl score prior to the game. SPOILER ALERT! 34-28 Patriots. It’s been right about the Kentucky Derby and the last two Stanley Cup winners as well… and wrong on just about everything else.    We Recommend:   Losing hair? Andy has a solution for you.    The Life/After podcast from GE. Starting with "The Message." Available on iTunes.   SO YUMMY COCA-COLA PLUS! SO YUMMY! SO YUMMY! COCA-COLA PLUS!   Simon Sinek’s "Leaders Eat Last." You need to read it, or listen to it, or cheat off your friend who did when we give out the test.   UConn will destroy you. At least, their Women’s Basketball team will.    We Don’t Recommend:   Stealing from Salvation Army donation bins.    Scrolling through your phone near bedtime. Kiss that melatonin goodbye.   In Worcester a bellringer gets his bell rung. 

In Episode 4 we find ourselves reading science fiction horror that’s actually real! A real Temple of Doom, Chimera, and January movies! Horror like you never imagined is ever so real. It’ll all be ok, though. So take a wrap off and grab one of the delicious IPAs we’re drinking and enjoy a super chill, fun ride down the river of random knowledge.    (Be warned, we do mention the names of several presidents in an entirely non-political way. There is a trigger alert alarm included for the safety of our listeners)    We're drinking Coronado Brewing Company’s North Island IPA and Knee Deep Brewing Company's Lupulin River Imperial Indian Pale Ale (be careful, Imperial IPA is usually over 10% alcohol and WILL mess you up, like it did Dave... probably because he has weak genes).   Man-Bear-Pig is coming. Well, at least the slightly less disturbing Man-Pig Chimera is coming.    Indiana Jones might even get the heebie jeebies at the Temple of the Monkey God. A real Temple of Doom that was abandoned 500 years ago because it was believed to be cursed.    Universal is bringing you what exactly what you never wanted! A monsters universe! That’s right, a shared universe that will include surefire hits like Godzilla vs. King Kong! A movie projected for release in 2019. Dave and Andy admit they love the Creature from the Black Lagoon.    Is it possible to kill yourself with caffeine? Can you survive the “lethal dose?” Parents test the limits every day... or do they?   Did you hear? An acoustically perfect concert hall has finally been built. In Germany. Empty your life savings, it’s time to take a trip.   The emoji movie is coming soon. So is Sir Patrick Stewart’s shakespearian method performance as the poop emoji.    We Recommend:   Sneaky Pete, a new show that feels like a fusion of The Americans and Justified.   An older podcast you probably missed called Limetown.    Getting back in the gym. Do some cardio, lift some weights, go swimming. Find something to get those healthy endorphins going again. You won’t regret it. Successful business owners and recent Presidents all make time for it, and you can to. Whether you like them or not, they all make time to get in some exercise. It’ll help you feel better about life!   We Don’t Recommend:   Season 4 of Sherlock. Don’t get us wrong, we love the show with Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberpatch, but its most recent season didn’t quite cut it.    The recently released movie, Split. A January movie that’s as lazy as the rest of them. It’s a B movie at best, with an ending that will make you laugh… and not in a good way. We also don’t recommend any January movie. You’re better off throwing that movie ticket money in the trash.   The 3 marketing campaigns you probably never heard about.   Next time that tornado strikes, don’t use your bathtub. A lucky lady just stole your shot at surviving in her accidentally aerodynamic tub.

Welcome to the Dude, Did You Hear? Extended Edition! Now with 400% more Smeagol! Which is still 0%. Because multiplication.  

In our third episode, we find ourselves farther down the road, on the other side of the dimensional portal. We’ve found a world immersed in techno-horror, shocking mysteries, and a Dude, Did You Hear in Russia so terrifying, we can’t talk about it here! Don’t forget HAL’s birthday! it already passed… just tell him his card’s in the mail. 

  We’re drinking Belching Beaver’s Me So Honey and Stone Brewing’s classic, Arrogant Bastard.   Dude, Did You Hear?:
  MaxMind brings techno horror beyond imagination with IP mapping.    George Lucas is finally building his museum of art. It’s “not just Star Wars,” according to George.   Shower Beer is the conditioner that could change your life. One shattered glass at a time. MY FEET!!!   Chilean Military Helicopter pilots encounter a phenomenon they can’t explain. Luckily they got it on their file FLIR footage. Two years later they finally share the footage with the world. What they saw, no one can explain. Proving aliens aren’t just crossing American borders.    In Taiwan, exotic funerals have become the wave of the future.    Dyatlov Pass, a blast from the past where survivors can’t last! The unsolved mystery that will ensure you don’t go camping on open snowbound mountainous terrain in Russia ever again.    Africa is pulling an Escape from LA and breaking apart, slowly. Minus John Carpenter and Snake Plissken. But still with the eyepatches, because, ya know… pirates. In a million years, maybe they’ll have Steve Buscemi, too.    We Recommend:   The Man in the High Castle should be one your radar, watch list, favorites, all of it! America has lost the war, Nazis and Imperial Japan run the country. Things are not as they seem in 1960s occupied America, though. The performance from the arch-nemesis will have you coming back over and over, he’s a terrifying menace you’ll want to run to the neutral territories to hide from. Dave and Andy recommend unequivocally!   The reverse wine snob wants to invert the way you look at wine. Your wallet will burst at the seams with savings!   Help us save the Five dollar bills… from extinction outside your wallet. Save with Dave and see how much you have when we check in next January.   Somm will change the way you see the guy recommending wines at that fancy joint you like so much. Sommeliers have one of the most difficult tests to pass in the world. One with an extremely low pass rate- one of the lowest in the world.    We Don’t Recommend:   Pointing guns at your mouth. For any reason. Ever. How is that not clear to some people?  (What the Eff David Blaine?) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYxu_MQSTTY   Hiring copycats to design your logo. Harry Potter and the Dodgers could not be reached for comment at press time.    New Year’s Resolutions. Unless you have a plan. A SMART plan. With SMART goals. We’re talking Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic/Relevant, and Time-Based. Have a plan, or don’t. There’s always next year.    AND FINALLY   We talk tech. The nightmare that it could be, the convenience (nuisance?) that it is. What it could be in the future, and how you can get on the field soon at your favorite NFL games. Virtually, of course. Hold off on that camcorder, Uncle Rico.    There’s also a special public radio message from our hipster friends!