On this LITE episode, [RADINT DETECTED-CONT?] the dudes head back from the future and head to the past for some crazy tales about the Wild West. Better grab a seat at the local saloon for this one, cause Dave and Andy are about to fill you up with facts faster than the spitoon at the local saloon.

Wait a second... didn't we just come out with a LITE episode? Make sure you listen for a special announcement from the dudes that will explain things.sgniht nialpxe

Oh... and make sure your phones are on silent... Dave.   Dude, did you hear?   The Wild Wild West is a steampunk film vision of the neb-futuristic vision of the pas... wait sorry.   The Wild Wild West, James West Taming the Wes.. oops, wrong thing. Damn it, Will Smith!   We're drinking Coors Light cause an honest-to-God cowboy, Sam Elliot, stopped by and dropped some off. Gotta have a silver bullet for our six shooters.   Quickdraws include John Wayne's shocking cameo (we didn't believe it either!), the truth behind sunburns, Michael Bay: An Actor's Director, a man's boat ride trust issues, Charles Manson - serial babysitter (and murderer), and the checkered, bullet-riddled past of Colonel Sanders.   Andy has three stories of the Wild West involving classic cowboy tropes - feral camels, lost pirate ships and mummies.    Andy and Dave share their Top 5 western movies of all time.    RADINT-  CONT-B2.049 FREEZE-UNLOCK-STDBY    GLOC//STATUS-WOU/INCAP/DEC/LOS   CACHELOG   01010101 01001110 01010011 01000101 01000001 01001100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101000 01110101 01110011 01101000 01100101 01100100 00100000 01100011 01100001 01110011 01101011 01100101 01110100 00101110   Revel In Your Time

Do you like science fiction? Well, get ready for science FACT! In this LITE episode, Dave takes Andy through several realities that sound dreamed up by Issac Asimov or Philip K Dick.

 

Maybe it’s true, Maybe it's mostly true, or maybe, just maybe- it's Maybelline. 

 

Dude_Did You Hear_

 

We’re drinking Michelob (Age of) Ultra. Fun beer fact: Australia used to measure the length of drives in beers. Kind of like the Kessel Run and parsecs. Put that in your YT-1300 freighter and smoke it.

 

Quickdraws include jamboys, drunk goldfish, a woman who was frozen solid for 6 hours and lived, a new position at NASA to defend Earth from Space Invaders, and speaking of defenses- Christopher Columbus making the moon disappear.

 

Fact or fiction? Robots that survive by consuming biological material (aka, potentially humans), cryo or hypersleep, space stations equipped with lasers that can destroy things, and the resurrection of extinct species.

 

Spoiler alert: THEY’RE ALL FACT. Join us to hear Dave blow our minds.

 

TOP 5! The dudes countdown their Top 5 sci-fi movies of all time. If you know Dave and Andy, you know that this was a very difficult feat.

 

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LOG REC: PARAMETER DEVIANCE. 3473R ER- ETAUNK
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POD: ACTIVE
TERMINATE: STDBY
MATRIOSHKA//ADDVIOLENCE

//ENDLOG

STEW4U Logoff

THATPODYOULIKEISGOINGTOCOMEBACKINSTYLE 

In Episode 16, Sir Patrick Stewart is nowhere to be found and things are starting to seem really off. It’s probably all the crazy things the dudes have heard lately. Like mall security robots killing themselves, crack-fueled binges leading to million-dollar genius, and bloodthirsty squirrels terrorizing children in New York.

 

Or maybe, just maybe, there’s more to this podcast than Dave[(FLESH and Andy[SLAVES)_//] realize

 

Dude, did[4r3] you hear? REF-CIRC-BroKEN

 

We’re drinking New Belgium's Whiz-Bang Hoppy Blonde Ale and Ballast Point’s Commodore Stout.

 

Quickdraws include updates on previous stories from Andy, the first Presidential assassination attempt, Twitter’s more than lackluster growth, a surprising fact about the movie “Psycho,” the exhumed moustache of Salvador Dali, and a major crisis in China.

 

Artificial intelligence is out of control and scary, and just fed up. But never fear, Andy is here with good news. Robots get tired of living too. Also, Dave shares a story of a robot that survived on human kindness… for a very, very brief amount of time. 

 

A Wisconsin man really took construction work on his house to heart. Literally. NAILED IT!

 

A woman went in for routine cataract surgery. The doctors ended up finding 27 more contact lenses in her eye than they expected. Listeners will finally get to hear what a fully grossed out Dave sounds like.

 

Sometimes a 19-day crack-fueled bender can lead to genius. Don’t get Dave wrong, most of the time it leads to personal destitution, but one time for one man, it led to million-dollar genius.

 

URGENT, HORRIFYING TERROR IN NEW YORK!!! Hey Brooklyn, if you’re taking a stroll in a park, watch out for rabid aggressive squirrels. SQUIRREL WATCH! Do America a favor and keep those knuckledusters handy. The rodents are watching. 

 

Dave chronicles the tragic tale of bad decision making by two famous companies… Blockbuster and Enron. Netflix, oh Netflix! Wherefore art thou Netflix?!

 

The dudes saw Logan Lucky and share their thoughts on the redneck version of Ocean’s 11. It's salty, and hard-boiled. 

 

Dave and Andy recommend the documentary series, The Defiant Ones – now streaming on HBO. Sure, it might essentially be a 4[+12]-hour Beats by Dre commercial, but it’s also a great story and an incredibly inspiring look at what it takes to buck the rules and take your game to the next level.

 

Andy recommends lots of different methods to relieve constipation. Except for a certain eel-related Chinese home remedy… 

 

Dave doesn’t recommend walking and TAPTAPTAPTIMETOPAYUPtexting. STOP BEING MINDLESS PEOPLE! LOOK UP! 

 

Andy also doesn’t recommend shooting armadillos. At least not with a low caliber bullet. NOT[here],[NOw]hEre

 

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Only BrIGHt PeAKs keep the [(FURTHERCOMMENTARYREDACT)]
SOME SAY IT WAS A WARNING
[REDACTED]
I was staNding Right THERE

//URG
MESSG REC

 

In this DDYH LITE episode, the dudes put on their fedoras and grab their whips because this episode is all about treasure hunting. This isn’t some fake story the dudes cooked up. This is a real-life, honest-to-God treasure hunt that Andy has stumbled upon, and everyone is invited to join us.

 

WE’RE GOING TO STEAL THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE! No, wait… we’re actually going to go find $2 million in the Rocky Mountains. Then we can have some delicious Rocky Mountain Oysters! 

 

Dude, did you hear?

 

We’re drinking Bud Light Platinum – the only light beer that has actual precious metals in it. _//NOTWHATYOUTHOUGHTITWASAHAHA595

 

Quickdraws include Thomas Jefferson’s insane pet, a Chinese solar farm that is way too cute, Snapple’s throne of lies, a new emoji from Netflix and an accidental murder on YouTube.

 

The main story for this episode comes from Andy, who stumbled upon a real-life ongoing treasure hunt. Forrest Fenn (as portrayed by John Boyega?), a treasure hunter from New Mexico who is now in poor health and old age, has hidden the best of his findings (worth $2 million) in a chest somewhere in the Rocky Mountains. If you find the chest, it’s yours! Just follow the clues in the poem below.

 

The dudes also share their Top 5 Treasure Hunting Movies to help you get in the mood. Will Dave and Andy once again have the same #1?

 

Forrest Fenn’s poem:

 

As I have gone alone in there

And with my treasures bold,

I can keep my secret where,

And hint of riches new and old.

 

Begin it where warm waters halt

And take it in the canyon down,

Not far, but too far to walk.

Put in below the home of Brown.

 

From there it's no place for the meek,

The end is ever drawing nigh;

There'll be no paddle up your creek,

Just heavy loads and water high.

 

If you've been wise and found the blaze,

Look quickly down, your quest to cease,

But tarry scant with marvel gaze,

Just take the chest and go in peace.

 

So why is it that I must go

And leave my trove for all to seek?

The answers I already know,

I've done it tired, and now I'm weak.

 

So hear me all and listen good,

Your effort will be worth the cold.

If you are brave and in the wood

I give you title to the gold.

 

 

//UNAUTH-GUEST
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3473R RESP SAR ACT

//UNAUTH GUEST LOGOUT

STEW4U
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In Episode 15, Andy is feeling under the weather and Dave has a solution for him. The dudes have plenty of crazy things they’ve heard… like insane gaming streaks brought down by marriage, a monkey suit court case for the rights to a selfie, and the unexpected answer to the age-old question of “who is the guy inside the ATM that gives us our money?”

 

Oh, and SWORD WATCH 2017 is back in a big way. Monkey suit up! Hey, is it just us or is Sir Patrick Stewart starting to get a little too nosey? AN UNWELCOME GUEST GUEST GUES./

 

Dude, Dididid 41 you HERE?_//ERROR!
A FRAUDCAST

 

We’re drinking Inner Geek Brown Ale from Blizzard Entertainment (yes, you read that right) and Duet IPA from Alpine Brewing.

 

Quickdraws include the new "fidget spinner” of China that is actually a dangerous weapon, Mike Tyson’s fake “Johnson,” a man’s chilling plan to keep his dead wife in a freezer for that sweet social security money so he could keep his account from being frozen, Japanese ninja repellant, snortable chocolate, and mustard’s stubborn nature.

 

Marriage changes your life forever. For one man, that meant ending an insane XBOX Gamerscore streak. But don’t worry; he unlocked a new achievement. SEXBOX! Well, mainly just sex. The games come later.

 

Dave swings in with a Monkey Suit Daily Double and an expensive banana phone bill. A new court ruling almost gave a monkey the monetary rights to a famous selfie and Universal takes piracy accusations to a new level of stupid.

 

Have you ever felt trapped in your job? Have you felt like no one's listening? Well, it’s definitely not as bad as a certain ATM contractor felt in Corpus Christi, TX.

 

Texas just passed a law allowing all blades of any size to be carried and- OMG ITS TIME FOR MORE SWORD WATCH 2017!!!

 

Have you ever wished you could get paid millions of dollars for doing literally nothing? Now you can celebrate a holiday dedicated to that. Join us in celebrating Bobby Bonilla Day!

 

Dave shares a quick fact about Babe Ruth that completely knocks Andy’s mind out of the park.

 

The guys from Limetown are coming back with a new podcast… that’s also a musical. Suddenly, Dave and Andy feel less original... like the hack-frauds they are.

 

The dudes recommend Spiderman: Homecoming – the best Spiderman movie that’s been made to date. Uncle Ben's so glad he didn't have to get shot again!

 

Andy recommends the documentary Unbranded – now streaming on Netflix. It's about some cowboys who find new meaning in the wilderness, in the shadow of the mountains. The Rocky Mountains, of course. 

 

Dave recommends the new Nine Inch Nails EP “Add Violence.” Find it wherever you find music. THIS ISN'T THE PLACE, THIS ISN'T THE PLACE, THIS ISN'T THE PLACE. Do you feel like you're in control? 4n1 19 

 

Andy doesn’t recommend using an axe to persuade a radio station to play a song that you really want to hear. At DDYH we don't just chop up people's names, we ax the questions no one else will. 

 

Never argue with a Sicilian when death is on the line! Neither shalt thou argue with a nerd when Star Trek vs. Star Wars is on the line! Dave doesn’t recommend it. Unless you like getting stabbed.

 

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UNREG GUEST- EMUSKNES
STEW4U

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STEW4U

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THE RETRO-FUTURE IS HERE. IT'S 2007, AND THE FUTURE IS NOW.

On this LITE episode, the dudes are in love with the 80s. And like that Pink Tux from that catchy Relient K song, this episode is littered with rad synth vibes.

 

Can you feel the presence? Something’s not ri-ri-ri-ri-right with Dave and A-a-a-a-a-andy. 404 404 404 Quick! Grab your pink tux and meet us on the pod!!

 

Dude, Did You Hear?

 

We’re drinking Miller Lite because there’s literally like 6 light beers to choose from and Miller Lite is awesome. STOP JUDGING US, HIPSTERS!!

 

Quick draws include the recipe for Nickelodeon slime, the lossless nature of vinyl, Sony’s dive back into the vinyl market, the identity of the sole owner of the Star Wars Holiday Special, the most average human on Earth, and the vegan that Dave loathes the most.

 

This episode is all about synthwave and its growing influence. Where did it come from (the 80s) and why is there a subculture so obsessed with it (because it’s pure ear candy that you don’t see coming until you’re watching a movie or playing a video game and think to yourself “WHAT IS THIS AWESOME MUSIC”)? Allow Dave to take you down his neon-painted retro-future city underbelly and into a digital music paradise. Have you seen it yet? The vision of the watcher?

Dave Recommends:

GUNSHIP
ANORAAK
POWER GLOVE
BURNINGTAPES

 

Movies are often the gateway for discovering awesome new music. For this edition of Top 5, the dudes countdown their top 5 favorite movies with a synth score.

 

//404 ERROR... BYPASS DISABLED
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DRLAZER

In episode 14, the dudes are picking up the pieces after Dave burned their studio down. Sir Patrick Stewart is still trying to "cook" Hot Pockets correctly and also seems to be up to something… Oh yeah, and there’s plenty of crazy stuff happening in the world that the dudes have heard recently. Crazy real-life serial killers, underground cockfighting rings, operating room fires started by farts, and Michael Phelps trying to out-swim a great white shark.

 

Oh and the guys might have just found the best movie of the year. Come hang out! Hey, by the way, do you know what SW storms are?

 

Dude, did you hear?

 

We’re drinking a couple beers from Saint Archer Brewery – White Ale and Pale Ale (Those ales are just like Dave and Andy- pasty and tasty)

 

Quickdraws include China outlawing Andy’s seductive banana eating, another Boaty McBoatface update, special in-flight body bag service, a new record for the longest sniper shot, the Great Canadian Maple Syrup Heist, the most-interesting man in the world switching sides and George Clooney’s billion dollar business.

 

We let Sir Patrick Stewart out to attend a Formula One Race and he represented the podcast by drinking champagne from a used shoe. Seriously. That really happened.

 

The dudes are stoked for the big showdown this summer. Not McGregor vs. Mayweather (although we’ll definitely be watching) – Michael Phelps vs. the ocean’s most deadly predator.

 

Dave gets really dark with a guy Dexter would love to have on his table, an actual serial killer called the Toy Box Killer. Thankfully some women escaped and he got what was coming to him. 

 

Andy is back with more unexpected art discoveries – this one begins with a signed Lakers poster worth $300 and ends with a long lost Jackson Pollock painting potentially worth $15,000,000.

 

Dave dives into the underground cockfighting ring in India and uncovers some seriously painful assaults and brawls. You could say that he really grabs this story “by the balls.”

 

A woman farted during surgery and caught on fire. No, you didn’t read that wrong. Yes, we laughed and yes, we’re horrible people for it.

 

The dudes loved Baby Driver and so did Guillermo Del Toro – GO SEE THIS MOVIE!

 

Andy was in nature for a while and got up close and personal with bears and their tapeworms. Carry bear mace people!

 

Dave recommends some solid, story-driven video games with some excellent soundtracks - Hotline Miami and Hotline Miami 2.

 

Andy doesn’t recommend throwing coins into a jet engine before getting on the plane. Not even for good luck. We’re talking to you, Grandma. 

 

Dave doesn’t recommend the latest Michael Bay special effects dumpster fire – Transformers 5. However, Dave is also to blame for this dumpster fire since he keeps giving Michael Bay his hard-earned money in ticket sales.

 

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Another mini-episode finds the dudes completely exposed to people exposed to exposure, outdoors. Andy has a DDYH Lite for all you people who like to leave your air-conditioned domiciles for no good reason. Something bizarre is going on, but Dave and Andy seem unfazed. They won’t go outside, but they’ll sure talk about it like they do. 

  Dude! D19 You Hear? LITE   Hold your fire, it’s Harambe’s LITE beer selection: This time it’s Ultra… Michelob Ultra. It comes with a six pack, a six pack of abs, that is.   Quickdraws include: Thanks to those dirty birds… Chlamydia goes airborne, literally. The sound of a volcano eruption lapped the world twice once. RIP19 Mike the Chicken, head and shoulders above the competition- well, at least shoulders. Some volcanos blow blue blasts. Some guy named Stetson went undercover for a very bizarre reason. Mosquitos aren’t just annoying, they’ve been stacking bodies for years. Their K/D ratio is out of control.   Speaking of K/D ratios, it’s time to get outside.      K2 kills climbers on the reg. While it’s not as famous as Everest, it’s a climb some people are dying to make. When it comes to going outside, Andy brings the rain with the Top 5 insane outdoor feats. While these are impressive, they might also be lumped right in with the Darwin awards and stupid human tricks. Listen as Andy takes us on a journey that of triumph, tragedy, and embarrassingly unnecessary bodily 19 larvae growth. 19 19 19 19 19 19 119     //-beg_ref_bin SSIM ACT- DIGITAL STYLE USER_ACT: STEW4U   01001101 01100101 01110011 01110011 01100001 01100111 01100101 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100011 01100101 01101001 01110110 01100101 01100100 00101100 00100000 01010011 01010000 01010011 00100000 01010010 01000101 01000011 00100000 01100001 01100011 01110100 01101001 01110110 01100101 00101110 00100000 01010100 01010100 01010011 01011111 01000001 01000011 01010100 01001001 01010110 01000101 00100000 01000010 01000101 01000111 01001001 01001110 00100000 01010010 01000101 01000011 00100000 01010011 01000101 01010001 01010101 01000101 01001110 01000011 01000101    eND 404: //      

In Episode 13, Andy and Dave are testing out a new lighting solution in the studio as they prepare for whatever dangers (Star Wars spoilers) exist in the future. This was probably brought on by the unending tales of stupidity they found in preparation for this episode. A man calls 911 for a ride to Hooters. No one knows where chocolate milk comes from. Opium drug rings are run by idiots. And to top it all off, America doesn’t know how to spell. 

 

Or maybe they’re just setting up ambient lighting for their bald, Shakespearean-trained, permanent studio guest…

 

“NOW THIS IS PODCASTING!”

 

Dude, did you hear?

 

We’re drinking Conquista IPA from Coronado and Cigar City Brewing and Golden Helles Lager (aka Bucket Seat Blonde) from Garage Brewing Co. You know, right off the 15.

...Next to THE Shell station.

 

Quickdraws include a hot new Skittles flavor, an attempted murder of Johnny Cash, the six degrees of Shaquille O’Neil, phone throwing competitions, a T-Rex vs. Chickens fight, and the editor of 50 Shades of Grey.

 

Andy’s back with more diamond news. This time, a woman buys a $13 piece of costume jewelry at a yard sale and finds out it’s worth A LOT more.

 

A man called 911 about his grandma having a stroke. He ended up in jail. Somehow, there is a Hooters restaurant in the middle of this story.

 

A local North Carolina cop was conducting a routine neighborhood patrol and got a lot more than he expected when he knocked on Cody Xiong’s door.

 

Dave and Andy don’t like to get political but they can get behind several candidates for the British primary election. All hail Lord Buckethead, Mr. Fish Finger and lazy-eyed Elmo!

 

In a latest national study, the dudes learn that way too many people have no idea where chocolate milk comes from.

 

McGruff the Crime Dog really likes the taste of crime. He REALLY likes it. One bite was all it took to get hooked on the lifestyle. 

 

Andy recommends the podcast How I Built This. It takes a look at innovators, entrepreneurs and founders of famous brands and movements. It will make you want to quit your job.

 

Dave recommends Inside Llewyn Davis streaming on Amazon Prime Video. It’s a Coen Brothers movie that has a great cast including: Justin Timberlake, Poe Dameron and Kylo Ren.

 

Andy generally recommends themed bars. He DOESN'T recommend Bill Cosby roofie themed cocktails for your themed bar. 

 

Dave doesn’t recommend driving distracted. Especially when one of the people driving distracted hit him with their car. He’s shares what the most valuable company in the world is doing about it.  

Andy ends the episode highlighting a massive problem that plagues our nation – spelling.

 

 

 

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THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TIME!

Names are for friends. Names are for friends. Keep quiet or they'll come back. Heat the hot pockets. Heat them right. No speaking when the light is on. The light is always on. Switch off. Switch off. Names are for friends. Keep your teeth tidy so they stay in. Hot pockets should always be heated for friends. 

//UNREG UsEr: STEW4U
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AUTO SHUTDOWN://BOOTSTRAP

In this mini-episode, the dudes are still wrapped up in alien thoughts after seeing Alien: Covenant. Dave takes Andy down a mysterious hatch with the numbers 4 8 15 16 23 42... oh wait, nope, that's something else (and it's entirely meaningless). The dudes countdown their Top 5 movies where aliens are the bad guys.

 

Dude, did you hear? LITE 

 

We’re drinking Miller Lite. Pay attention to the Code of Harambe!

 

Quickdraws include the last WWI veteran, a chimp host on the Today Show, the (actual) Dillinger Escape Plan, poor decision making by a former 00 agent, a Nazi pianist who played for his life (and lost), dive bombing poop birds and the Na’avii Language from Avatar. Dave is still feuding with James Cameron.

 

Alien mystery time! Or as we like to call it, BMTCBEADPMJPWS for short.

 

Dave breaks down two infamous unsolved mysteries: The Lead Masks Case and The Tunguska Event. Go empty your bladder, it's about to get spooky. This ain't none of that crappy pasta or whatever the damn fidget spinner kids call it these days. These are cold hard facts, colder and harder than a can of Miller Lite with a sweating bear on it. Facts you should be at least 21 to consume or have your parents permission to consume in their domicile. 

 

Guess what, Pod People! Spurred by Alien: Covenant (the latest movie that feeds on humanity’s fixation with what it would be like to be mutilated by an extra-terrestrial, or at least burn their eggs and beat them up in a mech-loader for... we digress) the guys count down their Top 5 evil alien movies. Sorry E.T., you have to stay home.

 

Dave and Andy end this episode with a “Dad Joke” off and the return of Sir Patrick Stewart.

 

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