Practicing Polyamory Podcast

E.95 - Managing Conflict the Gottman Way with Paige Bond


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This was such a great conversation with relationship therapist Paige Bond, who breaks down the worst of the worst, most problematic behaviors in relationships often referred to as the four horsemen.

We dive deep into each of these: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling, and the antidotes (or countermeasures) for each one.

Paige gives so many great examples of each, and helps us create better "I-Statements" to make sure that we are taking responsibility for our own actions.

We also get into the topic of having a secure attachment to ourselves, which will help us create better attachments with those around us. Paige helps us understand how not having a secure attachment to ourselves may prevent us from being able to be introspective enough to recognize our own needs and improve our relationships in the process.

Paige talks about having an attitude of gratitude, and I share a story about my brother's journey of gratitude that might help you appreciate your partner more!

Stonewalling might be a bit confusing to some (it was for me), and we have a great conversation to help folx understand the difference between stonewalling (avoiding the conflict altogether) and taking time or space away to cool down and approach the problem when emotions are more level.

Learn more about Paige at www.paigebond.com and follow her on FB: @CouplesCounselingCFL !

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