The older computer we've been recording with for years began having more and more issues. You'll no doubt notice that the voices in this episode are a bit choppy and stuttery in places. Sorry 'bout that.

As if that weren't enough, Main Guy and This Guy drastically rearranged Pink Eye Studios (AKA Kalookio Studios, AKA the Art Dungeon) over the past few weeks so new noises and echos have complicated things even more! And we have a fridge that feeds annoying noise into This Guy's microphone. At least the beer is cold.

Since recording this episode, Main Guy has invested in a new computer. It remains to be seen if the upcoming episodes sound any better--after all, HE is the same inept fuckwit at the controls.

Now sit back while Quim Simpson and his nameless guests talk about Employee #1's knob...

WE HAVE RETURNED!

Here is about an hour of your life you’ll never get back. Welcome to Season 5!

Using stories curated by Patreon Jeff, "Main Guy" Montgomery Gland, "This Guy" Dick Trickle, "That Guy" Bennin Hermuff, and the Research Department come in for a pretty hard landing on this one. In addition to the customary gallons of beer, a chilled bottle of Bearded Viking’s Laechner Huckleberry Mead contributes to the ensuing chaos. 

For all your mead needs, check out https://beardedviking.com and tell ‘em That Guy sent ya!

For Season 5, Episode 1 and other exclusive episodes head over to Employee #1 - The Industrial Accident Podcast on Patreon. $5 per month helps us keep this monkey business going!

After all, Main Guy's wife pays for it. Why don't you?

Well. Here it is. The Season 4 Finale.

Main Guy (Mort Tishin), This Guy (Richard Itch), That Guy (Swingin Dong) and the Research Department gather around the microphones for one more stab at immortality.

WARNING: It gets sloppy at the end, after all, we are celebrating the closure of a chapter in our lives!

"Final" categories include:

• Final Depth
• Final Destination
• Final Grade
• Final Payment
• Final Placement
• Final Stages

Throw us a rating and review, or support us directly on Patreon!

https://patreon.com/employee1

There you will get early releases, bonus episodes, additional content, stories by That Guy, and other earthly delights that are UNFIT FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION.

Did you know a that when a few carbuncles pop up together it’s called a furuncle?

Speaking of itchy pustules, That Guy’s nephew calls him “carb uncle,” cause he smells like gas and works on old cars.

That Guy’s niece calls him “fur uncle,” cause he looks like a monkey when he sneaks around naked at the park sniffing benches, slides, and swing sets.

Anyhoo, here is a minimally-edited episode bubbling up around the word “boil.”

"Main Guy" Ben Tweener, "This Guy" Misty Dawn, and "That Guy" Ivegotta Itchybum go bonkers while Research Department takes the night off to play Bunko (whatever the fuck that is).

One more episode to go before the Season 4 Finale!

No one can live without an aorta. Don’t believe us? Listen to this shit!

Gil T. Yuronner whips out some *“main vein” stories for Eda Bagadix, Hairy Queen Snailtrail, and the Research Department.

*Special note from Main Guy: Of course (as anyone who skipped the second grade will tell you) the aorta is an artery—not a vein, but if my evil plan worked, you’re probably thinking about cocks right now.

#dick #weenie #pecker #penis

Lots of running going on around here. Running mouths running circles of distracted conversations while running a failing podcast into the ground.

Glen Struation runs down a list of stories pertaining to all types of running—forcing Carol Lina, Phat Dong, and the Research Department to run for the exit.

Nathan Higgers attempts to tell stories about boats and hoes to Kamen Wendt, Gitten Herdrawersoff and the Research Department.

Like many tragic tales of boats (and hoes) throughout recorded history, this one starts out loose and sloppy and ends up . . . well . . . wet, tired, and fucked. Unsatisfactorily fucked.

After the prior version of this episode had been streamed/downloaded about 400 times, a helpful listener reached out and said, "What's with all the time gaps, overlaps, and random shit after the episode?!"

Apparently, Main Guy was so busy fiddling around in Photoshop to make the stupid artwork that really doesn't look like a guy hammering a toe into a board like a nail, he uploaded the wrong audio file. Let's try this again . . .

Joe King tells some toe-curling stories to Ketavetouck Litchard and recovering surgery victim Pete O’Phile. Research Department is otherwise occupied with a recovery of her own.

Categories include:

• Avulsion

• Gun

• Trimmer

• Bed

• Finger

• Popper

Please rate and review, and send a screenshot to [email protected] if you'd like some free stickers. Please sign up and support us at patreon.com/employee1 if you really enjoy what we do. You'll get early releases, extra episodes, and bonus content. THANKS, PUKES!

Well, the original posting of this episode was a mess. Only after it had been downloaded 400 times, did an astute listener finally reach out and say, "What's with all the gaps and the random shit after the episode."

Main Guy screwed up. Let's try this shit again.

Joe King tells some toe-curling stories to Ketavetouck Litchard and recovering surgery victim Pete O’Phile. Research Department is otherwise occupied with a recovery of her own.

Categories include:

• Avulsion

• Gun

• Trimmer

• Bed

• Finger

• Popper