BOSS Business of Surgery Series

Ep. 190 Lion Taming: Finding Your Power in Negotiations


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Episode Highlights

Introduction to Lion Taming (00:00:00)

  • Dr. Amy Vertrees introduces the “Lion Taming” master class on power and negotiation.

  • Highlights her coaching program for women surgeons, helping them handle difficult colleagues, power dynamics, and negotiations.

  • Defines BOSS as a suite of coaching and courses teaching crucial career skills often missing from surgical training.

    Who (or What) is the Lion? (00:02:08)

    • “Lions” = Anyone who can harm your career, reputation, or confidence—senior colleagues, competitors, even patients.

    • The most dangerous lions are sometimes the most powerless or wounded.

    • Lion taming means:

      • Finding your own power

      • Managing those with power over you

      • Acting despite fear

      • Leading without formal authority

        Stress Responses in Conflict (00:05:52)

        • Workplace conflicts trigger strong emotions like anger, fear, shame, or sadness.

        • These emotions often stem from being dismissed, interrupted, or undermined.

        • Four stress responses: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn.

        • Lion taming often involves recognizing and managing the “fight” response.

        • Lesson from Androcles & the Lion: understanding and soothing the “lion’s pain” can transform conflict into cooperation.

          New Approaches to Negotiation (00:12:15)

          • Avoid using:

            • The “Hammer” (intimidation)

            • The “Armor” (withholding vulnerability)

            • Instead, aim for:

              • Honesty

              • Genuine curiosity

              • Emotional intelligence

              • Insights from Kasia Urbaniak’s “Woman’s Guide to Power Unbound”:

                • Dominance: Knowing and using your power

                • Submission: Knowing what you want and influencing others to give it to you

                  Self-Discovery & Managing Lions (00:16:35)

                  • Crucial steps for effective negotiation:

                    • Know your strengths and weaknesses

                    • Understand what you truly want

                    • Believe in your capacity to achieve it

                    • Reduce the lion’s perceived threat by envisioning the best version of them.

                    • Negotiation isn’t purely logical—it’s driven by emotion and the sense of safety.

                      Three Steps to Tame a Lion (00:25:20)

                      • Anchor: Create safety and stability within yourself.

                      • Align: Shift attention outward to engage strategically.

                      • Ask: Make a clear, powerful request.

                      • Recognize where your attention is:

                        • Inward focus = Submission

                        • Outward focus = Dominance

                          Power is Not a Threat—It’s a Tool (00:35:55)

                          • Power exists to influence, not intimidate.

                          • Dr. Vertrees encourages listeners to use their power for positive change.

                          • Power Negotiations course topics include:

                            • Identifying your needs

                            • Reading others’ needs

                            • Practical negotiation techniques

                            • Surviving high-stakes conversations

                            • The “CEO Self-Concept”: Think of yourself as your own business, making choices aligned with your mission and values.

                              Coaching Program Details (00:41:33)

                              • Weekly live sessions

                              • Private podcast + Facebook group

                              • Email support

                              • Discounted 1:1 coaching calls

                              • Dr. Vertrees encourages potential clients to discuss fit before joining.

                                Action Items

                                📝 Visit bosssurgery.com to:

                                • Learn more about coaching

                                • Join the group program

                                • Access resources for negotiating and managing challenging dynamics

                                  Quote of the Episode

                                  “True confidence is the willingness to feel any negative emotion—and act anyway.”
                                  — Dr. Amy Vertrees

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                                  BOSS Business of Surgery SeriesBy Amy Vertrees, MD

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