In this deeply moving and practical episode, palliative care nurse Tammy Stokes shares how a personal health crisis at age 36—nearly 100% blockage in three arteries—transformed her career and mission in healthcare. Now an advocate and leader in palliative care in Tennessee, she brings firsthand experience and clinical insight to the often-avoided conversations about serious illness, family dynamics, and end-of-life care.

Tammy discusses:

The difference between palliative and hospice care

The emotional and spiritual impact of critical illness on patients and families

Why advanced care planning is essential—at any age

How her personal experiences with her father and brother shaped her philosophy of care

Tools from her book, including scripts to start hard conversations

The power of patient autonomy and how to honor it in clinical practice

Whether you’re a surgeon, nurse, or family caregiver, this episode equips you to lead hard conversations with courage, compassion, and clarity.

[00:00] Introduction to Tammy Stokes and her book

[00:03] Her personal health crisis and its impact

[00:06] Transformation into a more compassionate nurse

[00:12] Transition into palliative care and first patient experience

[00:17] Scripts and strategies for difficult conversations

[00:22] Creating communication plans with patients and families

[00:31] Handling family disagreements and honoring patient wishes

[00:35] The case for early and ongoing advance care planning

[00:39] Real-life stories of honoring her father’s and brother’s end-of-life preferences

Break the Silence: Health Conversations You Can’t Ignore by Tammy Stokes

Tennessee Palliative Care Advisory Council

Hospice and Palliative Care Nurses Association

Start the conversation before the crisis.

Honor what patients want, not what we fear.

Be vulnerable—it opens the door to trust and truth.

Scripts and structured communication can reduce fear and overwhelm.

Facebook: Tammy Stokes – Break the Silence: Health conversations you can't ignore, buy it here

Speaking engagements: Reach out via her Facebook page, Tammy Stokes Book Launch Party 8/1

Subscribe to the BOSS Business of Surgery Series for more real conversations about what really matters in medicine. I would appreciate if you rate and review the show as well!