Invisible Distortions: Why We Misunderstand Each Other (and How to Stop)

Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking, "How did that go so wrong?" You were clear. They were clear. And yet somehow, you both walked away feeling misunderstood, hurt, or even resentful.

Erin and Evan call these hidden forces "distortions." They're like funhouse mirrors in our relationships—subtle patterns, beliefs, or unspoken feelings that bend what we say and hear. Left unchecked, distortions quietly erode connection, fuel resentment, and create conflict that seems impossible to solve.

In this episode of Richer Soul, we explore how to see distortions, name them, and clear them—so that relationships (at home, in business, and even with money) flow with more peace and ease.

👉 If you'd like to go deeper into Erin's personal story and her work on rapid transformation, revisit her earlier episode here: Ep 362: Rapid Transformation – How to Unlock Your Potential with Erin Pheil

Key Insights from This Conversation:

1. Distortions Are Invisible Until You Name Them. Much like money scripts, distortions are unconscious patterns—beliefs, judgments, or emotions that warp how we interpret others. Once named, they lose their hidden power.
2. Resentment Traps & Behaffing. Erin and Evan share examples like "resentment traps" (when someone offers something they don't actually want, creating hidden tension) and "behaffing" (acting on someone's behalf without checking if it's what they want). These patterns often feel kind, but secretly create disconnection.
3. The Link Between Distortions and Money Mindset. Just like growing up with the belief that "rich people are evil" can sabotage wealth, unspoken beliefs and judgments in relationships create friction. Both are distortions that quietly drive our choices.
4. Level Two Conversations Build Connection. Most of us stay in surface-level chats. True healing comes when we share our real experience—"I felt sadness when X happened"—without accusation. This opens space for empathy, clarity, and connection.
5. Clearing Distortions is Liberating. The moment distortions are brought into the open, assumptions dissolve and laughter often replaces resentment. As Erin says, "We get to clear it in real time, and suddenly everything feels lighter."

Money Learning:

Evan grew up with the story that money was hard to earn—yet inside he held a contrarian belief that it had to be easier. This push-and-pull mirrors how distortions show up: subconscious scripts we don't question, but which silently shape our decisions about money, work, and worth.

Key Takeaway:

Distortions thrive in silence. The moment we slow down, notice what we're truly feeling, and share it without accusation, connection becomes possible again.

About Erin & Evan:

Erin Pheil Before entering the world of mindset and transformation, Erin founded and scaled an award-winning web agency for 17 years. In 2018, she launched The MindFix Group, where she has since helped high-performing entrepreneurs and leaders across the world overcome their stuckness, frustrations, relationship challenges, inner limitations, and mental roadblocks. Today, Erin facilitates private coaching and world-class retreats that create profound breakthroughs for her clients.

Evan Walton Evan co-founded and scaled an Amazon business in his early 20s before discovering his true passion—helping people heal. He now works with entrepreneurs and their families to release difficult traumas, reconnect with themselves, and rebuild confidence when they don't know where else to turn. His work focuses on creating wholeness, clarity, and ease in both personal and professional lives.

Links:

Social: @evan.l.walton and @erinpheil

Facebook: www.facebook.com/erinpheil

Email: [email protected] and [email protected]

Where in your life do you feel unseen or misunderstood? Could a distortion be at play?

Have you noticed yourself offering something you don't actually want to give (a resentment trap)?

What would shift if you spoke your experience instead of your judgment?

#RicherSoul #EmotionalHealing #RelationshipWisdom #InnerGrowth #ClearTheDistortions #SelfAwareness #CommunicationSkills #MindsetShift #PersonalGrowthJourney #HealingRelationships

Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@richersoul

Richer Soul Life Beyond Money. You got rich, now what? Let's talk about your journey to more a purposeful, intentional, amazing life. Where are you going to go and how are you going to get there? Let's figure that out together. At the core is the financial well-being to be able to do what you want, when you want, how you want. It's about personal freedom!

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