In this episode, hosts Zack, Josie, and Brad sit down with Ferdinand the bull, to explore the real, often-unspoken complexities of being a single male navigating ENM spaces. Ferdinand shares how he first entered the lifestyle at the encouragement of his then-wife, who never chose to participate herself. Now eight years, a divorce, and countless connections later, he finds himself at a crossroads: dating in the vanilla world while weighing whether he can—or should—remain in the lifestyle community he’s grown so deeply attached to.

The hosts dig into the nuanced decisions single men face, including when to disclose lifestyle involvement to vanilla partners, and the unique blend of freedom, connection, and emotional intelligence that strong bulls cultivate. Ferdinand opens up about both the highs and the lows: the excitement of partnered experiences, the intimacy he builds with couples, and the loneliness being a bull can create.

Together, they unpack the dynamics between bulls and couples, the financial realities of being a single male in lifestyle spaces, and the stereotypes that make forming genuine connections harder than most people realize. Ferdinand also offers grounded, experience-based advice for single men curious about entering the lifestyle—highlighting why assertiveness paired with respect is essential, and why aggression never works.

This episode offers an honest look at what single men gain from the lifestyle that traditional dating can’t provide, and what it truly costs, emotionally and financially, to walk this path.

JOIN US in 2026 on the Bliss Cruise in February or at Naughty Nawlins and support our podcast by booking your ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠travel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or purchasing your lifestyle products using our affiliate links. Please do us a favor and visit

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(00:00:00) Good luck Chuck

(00:02:00) How I found the lifestyle

(00:04:46) Friends with benefits

(00:06:09) Being a bull in the lifestyle can be lonely

(00:07:45) Evolving in the lifestyle over the last 8 years

(00:08:50) Navigating the LS can be difficult and rejection is common

(00:09:36) I shared my sexual experiences with my wife

(00:10:17) Dating vanillas while you’re in the lifestyle

(00:13:03) Benefits and drawbacks of being a bull

(00:14:24) Bringing a new partner into the lifestyle

(00:16:25) Favorite lifestyle events or activities

(00:19:01) Advice for single males entering the lifestyle

(00:22:33) The bull / couple dynamics

(00:24:41) Lifestyle scenarios

(00:29:39) Assumptions people make about bulls

(00:33:07) What singles get out of the lifestyle

(00:34:18) Addressing sexual orientation

(00:36:05) I’m a good first experience for couples

(00:37:02) Catching feelings

(00:38:10) Being a bull is expensive

(00:39:01) How they begin and how I conduct myself in play sessions

(00:40:01) Communication and emotional intelligence

(00:43:59) A good learning experience

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