For many struggling with infertility, building a family may take more than two people. Egg donation, sperm donation, surrogacy or using a gestational carrier can be a beautiful way to build a family, but the process can be full of many questions and misconceptions along the way. 

Why do egg and sperm donors donate? Can third-party donors really be anonymous in this age of in-home genetic testing? Should parents be open with their children about their biological origins? If so, when is the right time to share or disclose this? Finally, is it possible a parent won’t bond with their baby if there’s no biological connection between them?

In Part Two of their discussion on the myths and misconceptions around fertility, Dr Shahine and licensed therapist Lisa Schuman tackle questions about third-party family building.

Lisa Schuman is an award-winning researcher, therapist, author, and expert in donor conception, surrogacy and fertility treatment. Her organization, The Center for Family Building, is dedicated to helping people have an easier journey to becoming parents.

In this episode you’ll hear:

[0:00] What is “third-party reproduction”?

• Why do egg and sperm donors donate?
• The healing power of donation, a patient story
• Lisa discusses the growing trend of knowing gamete donors

[6:24] Do you disclose to your children that they are the result of donation?

• Is anonymity even possible any more?
• Should you disclose to your child? Why and when?
• Practice the conversation to make it easier for parent and child
• Why it’s a good and powerful thing to “own your story” 

[13:50] Bonding with your child

• Dealing with the continuing stigma of infertility
• Understanding parents’ concerns over bonding with donor-conceived children
• Where does that bond truly come from?
• Developing trust between parents and children

[20:29] Myths around third party family building

• The role of genetics
• How family bonds happen

Resources mentioned: 

Center for Family Building

familybuilding.net/author/lisa-schuman-lcsw

Subscribe to Lisa’s podcast, “Building Your Family”:  spotify.com/show/1iPTI62w2fANnkOLaSjsCe

Pacific Northwest Fertility Center Egg Donation Program: httpnwfertility.com/donor-egg-program/

Stay Up to Date in Fertility News and Events:  Weekly Newsletter

Follow @drlorashahine Instagram | YouTube | Tiktok | Her Books