Even I struggle with fears of enabling. For many years I was a student of the tough love approach, trying to control, and beliefs that didn’t serve me about addiction. No matter how much time I put into creating beliefs that serve me and learning healthy ways to support Helanna, the fear of enabling rather than helping her was always there.

As the result of much introspection about where things went wrong and insight from Helanna’s journal, I want to share 3 things I wish I did differently last year and why I wish I had done them differently.

This is not about blame. It’s about being open minded and learning from the past.

I went into this episode with intention and 3 important factors:

1. Tons of self compassion

2. Knowledge that I could have done all three of those things differently and Helanna still could have died

3. Hope that sharing my experience will make it easier for you to make the best possible decision for your family when faced with similar situations

I can’t change what happened, but I can use it to give you perspective in the tremendously difficult area of navigating your child’s addiction.

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