ABOUT THE EPISODE: 

In this episode Cathy and I discuss unique skills from the business world that can be applied to our relationships - especially one with a struggling teen or young adult who is misusing substances and has mental health challenges. 

I share a surprising learning I picked up from reading a book about hostage negotiation (you may even be able to relate to that kind of situation) and we dig into why it’s important for parents not to take your child’s actions and behaviors too personally. We tie this all into the CRAFT approach (of course) and I give a first hand account of how skills like SURF communication can be applied with anyone in your world, not just your struggling child.

EPISODE RESOURCES: 

• Never Split the Difference - negotiating as if your life depends on it, by Chris Voss 

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

If someone in your life has an unhealthy relationship with drugs and/or alcohol, you likely already know my guest for today’s episode - Amber Hollingsworth. Amber hosts the wildly popular YouTube channel, “Put The Shovel Down,” with nearly 1 million subscribers. 

Amber and I sat down to talk about her addiction-riddled family of origin, and the best advice she gives family members from her two-plus decades in the field of addiction counseling. We cover what to do if parents aren’t on the same page about their child’s substance use, her thoughts on how to navigate a child and a partner or spouse’s addiction at the same time, whether she believes in “rock bottom,” and so much more. 

Amber is a passionate and delightful human who clearly cares about anyone struggling with substances (and their family members) - as evidenced by her 1,000+ free YouTube videos that serve as a lifeline for so many in this difficult position. 

You’ll learn:

• How Amber got started in the field of addiction counseling with a group of teens and zero experience
• Where to start first if your child and spouse are both struggling with substances
• Why Amber believes in “moments of clarity” rather than “rock bottom”
• The difference between a parent’s punishment and the world’s consequences

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• • Put The Shovel Down YouTube Channel
  • Family Recovery Academy - Amber’s Organization, Hope For Families

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

 ABOUT THE EPISODE: 

When your friend or family member has a child struggling with mental health and substance use, it can feel awkward and difficult to know how to help support them. This episode is meant to be a resource for learning ways that you can be helpful, not hurtful, when your friend or family member is experiencing a parenting crisis.

I share some common misperceptions about addiction and substance use, talk about the latest science on motivation and change, and give real examples of what you can do to help. It’s a practical guide to give you ideas and new information about substance use, mental health and navigating the hardest parenting season. 

EPISODE RESOURCES: 

• Dr. Anna Lembke on Hopestream episode 110
• Addiction Primer for Friends and Family Members

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

Trevor Hanson had accumulated a pretty good life - from living on a beach in Hawaii, to getting a great job at Tesla and engaged to be married. One year later, he was unemployed, his engagement and his jaw were both broken, and he was living alone in the Reno desert.

Trevor suffered depression, nightmares, and suicidal thoughts before deciding to seek therapeutic help. He developed a real appreciation for the process of therapy – but he also had ideas about how it could be better.

Today, Trevor holds a master's degree in marriage and family therapy and has helped thousands of people around the world, specializing in a topic critical for everyone, especially parents, to understand: attachment. Trevor has undergone training from some of the world’s top attachment experts, and today he brings his expertise and unique concepts to the podcast.

When I sat down with Trevor, we discussed the basic types of attachment styles, why our ‘style’ can lead to difficulties in relationships with our kids, and why being part of a supportive community is a vital part of helping us move from anxious or avoidant attachment, to secure.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• The Secure Self Club

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

We've all been there. A tense or heated conversation where something flies out of your mouth that you don't really mean, or you inflict your 'help' when it's not wanted or needed. You might, at times, find yourself solving a problem that has nothing to do with you, or you give well-intentioned advice to someone who will never, ever take it.

Enter our favorite Hopestream tool...the Lip Clip. A metaphorical device that prevents you from jumping in when you should really stay back, and gives you a magical opportunity to observe before acting. The problem is, when and how do you use the Lip Clip to its maximum effectiveness?

In this episode, you'll learn what situations the Lip Clip is best suited for, how to apply it so you get the most out of it, and, importantly, when and how not to use it. As always, Cathy and I give personal examples from our lives and you'll walk away with a clear idea of how you can put this powerful little tool to use with a challenging child, or anyone in your life who tends to trigger you to act in ways you'd rather not.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Hopestream episode with Dr. Mark McConville - Getting Unstuck From Failure To Launch Mode (ep. 51)

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

Substance use and recovery can shift every aspect of a young person's life - even the faith that has been deeply ingrained in someone’s upbringing.  Parents often have visions and expectations of their child's lives, and for parents of faith, that usually includes a life of shared values and traditions.  So what happens when our kids choose differently?

My guest today, Heather Frazier, only developed ideas about this when her own children not-so-politely exited the family's religious practice. Her advice has striking similarities to our advice to parents of kids struggling with substance use: maintaining healthy, open relationships while learning to let go of expectations and abandoning a false sense of control.

In this episode, Heather explains the "dangerous two-part cocktail" of unhealed wounds and ego. We discuss the fullness of God's plan for our family's lives, how looking inward can change our perspective, and how a distorted view of traditional Christianity may contribute to the feelings of being not-enough that often fuel substance misuse.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Heather’s website
• Pivot Parenting Podcast

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

When Ed and Mary Ternan finally met the police officer who had been on scene at their son's overdose death, he had an off-the-record theory: "This is not official, and you'll have to wait for toxicology to come back, but this is going to be fentanyl," the officer told them.

News about the synthetic opioid is inescapable today, but in 2020, the couple had never heard of it. Charlie was a popular, successful student with no substance use issues. How could this have happened?

As it turned out, Charlie was Santa Clara County's seventh fentanyl death in only 10 days. Suffering occasional pain from back surgery a year earlier, Charlie had taken a single counterfeit pill purchased from a dealer ("plug") on Snapchat.

Incredibly, it took less than two months for Ed and Mary Ternan to found a nonprofit dedicated to awareness and education about the skyrocketing deaths from accidental fentanyl overdose. In this episode, we trace the lessons we can learn from Charlie's story, the storm of circumstances that has placed young people in such danger, and how to reach both kids and parents in specific ways.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Song For Charlie website
• Bandcamp page for Song For Charlie (download the song here)

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

It’s hard to come to terms with how little control we have over whether our kids choose recovery or remain in an unhealthy lifestyle. In this episode, you’ll get to hear from Dina Cannizzaro, a mom who has been through hell and back (more than once), but has channeled all that fear and anxiety into taking actionable steps toward relearning how to connect with her son and how to harness the surprising power of self-care. 

You’ll hear how far she and her son Parker have come now that he’s in long-term recovery. You’ll also hear how she had to repair relationships she let suffer (including her other children) as she became all-consumed in her fear and efforts to support her son. 

In this episode, you’ll learn: 

• Why Dina chose to push through her crippling fear of rock climbing
• How she invested in the relationship with her son, even when he wasn’t ready to be in contact
• What anticipatory grief is and how it showed up in Dina’s life
• What helped Dina realize she was just as sick as Parker, but without the influence of substances
• Why she won’t stop sharing her story with anyone who will listen

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Dina’s website
• How to access free Narcan

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

It’s the season parents often dream of - their high school senior has successfully walked the stage and they’re now packing the family car to make the ceremonial drive to the four-year university their family goes to. They’ll do Parent Weekend, buy the sweatshirt and bumper sticker and wave their child off until they see them at Thanksgiving.

But it doesn’t go like that for everyone, and it sometimes feels like a facade if your child is on their way to a four-year university when they may be better suited for a community college - or a treatment program.

Cathy and I sat down to talk about this very difficult transition period for parents - discussing various reasons why parents hesitate to change plans last minute when their budding college student shows signs they may be headed in the wrong direction, the pressure parents are under at this time, and of course, our personal experience and insights. We also share what parents can be looking for in the senior year of high school and the summer before beginning college, as well as options there are for kids in this tricky season.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Success is Subjective podcast
• Treatment locator - AllKindsOfTherapy.com 
• Assoc. Of Recovery in Higher Education - Collegiate Recovery Programs

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

In this summer 'from the vault' episode I'm resharing an impactful interview with Dr. Mark McConville, a clinical psychologist specializing in adolescents and young adults. We discuss:

• Strategies for parents to transition from directive parenting into a consultant role
• How to offer wisdom while allowing your child to take the initiative
• The difference between enabling and supporting
• How pre-competence might look like incompetence and what to do about it
• The value of thinking through the worst-case scenario
• Practical examples of limits and setting expectations with a not-yet-launched teen or young adult
• And the critical importance of maintaining a supportive relationship

We also explore the challenges and anxieties that young adults face, as well as the benefits of non-authoritarian guidance. As always, we share practical tips and personal anecdotes that will give you ideas for strategies to foster independence and resilience in your child.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Failure to Launch: Why Your Twentysomething Hasn't Grown Up...and What to Do About It - buy here
• Dr. McConville's website

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Find us on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.