Cats-Pajamas, who is primarily a rope bottom, runs a munch in Malaysia with her partner, KitKatKen, and came to us with a potentially controversial topic.

She’s been thinking about the needs of rope tops and whether in the current climate where there is a great deal of focus on rope bottoms, the needs of rope tops are becoming invisible, and whether we’re truly treating our rope tops as humans rather than rope dispensers.

Fox and Mya talk with her about

* The consequences of bottoms being passive and the expectation being more focused on tops

* How we can use negotiation better to cover the needs of both parties

* Whether we should focus more on what the bottom can do for the top, as well as the other way round

* Making sure the bottom isn’t passive, but takes responsibility engages with the rope and the top

* The load on tops and how bottoms can share this

* The challenge of giving feedback versus ‘topping from the bottom’

* Fox’s experience of this as a rope top and the question only one new rope bottom has asked him