Sign up to save your podcasts
Or
Share Episode 111: Who Gets The Credit And Who Takes The Blame?
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Or
Episode 111: Who Gets The Credit And Who Takes The Blame?
Picture this. The coach of your favorite NFL team is having his post-game press conference. Your quarterback just threw four interceptions, including one that very likely cost your team the win.
When your coach is asked about the quarterback’s interceptions, you already know what he is going to say. “This loss is on me. I need to do a better job getting everyone ready to play. I need to put him in a better position so that he doesn’t have to try to make those throws.” He will take responsibility publicly and have a conversation with the quarterback behind closed doors.
A characteristic of great leadership is to accept responsibility, even if it is not your fault.
A characteristic of poor leadership is to play the blame game, get defense and throw your people under the bus.
On today’s episode of The Private School Leader Podcast, we are going to answer the question: At your school, Who Gets The Credit And Who Takes The Blame?
Thank you for taking me along with you when you are walking the dog, driving to school or running errands. I appreciate you and what you are doing for the lucky kids and teachers at your school.
Thanks so much for listening and thanks for making a difference!
Mark Minkus
Being a private school leader is a VERY difficult job. You have to make hundreds of decisions every day, and you have to keep everyone safe, increase enrollment, keep the parents happy, keep the board happy, motivate the teachers, deal with student discipline, beat last year’s test scores and come in under budget.
That can lead to you feeling tired, discouraged and stressed out. I’ve been there. That’s why I created THRIVE Academy just for you. THRIVE Academy is a digital course that will help you get out of survival mode and get back to feeling energized at school. To learn more, go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/thrive
If you have gotten value from listening to the podcast, I would love to work with you 1-on-1.
I help my clients overcome imposter syndrome, set boundaries between work and home and how to actually get important things done instead of having your day ruled by the tyranny of the urgent. Sounds impossible right? It’s not. I can teach you how to make it possible.
I would love to be your coach and I have a few spots open. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/coaching to learn more about working with me 1-on-1.
I am excited to share with you a new resource and I want to give this to you as a FREE GIFT to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. It is called The 7 Secrets To Improving Teacher Morale. As private school leaders, we are always looking for ways to improve teacher morale at our schools, but it is hard to know where to start. Well, now you have a step by step plan and you can grab it at theprivateschoolleader.com/morale
I want to give you a FREE gift called 7 Strategies To Effectively Deal With Difficult Teachers. Sometimes we need some courage and confidence to deal with difficult teachers. What you need is a plan! This guide is a step by step plan that you can use to help one of your difficult teachers improve their performance and improve their attitude. Go to theprivateschoolleader.com/difficult to grab this free guide!
I want to say thank you for listening to the podcast by giving you a FREE GIFT. It is called The 7 Steps To Having A Successful Meeting With An Upset Parent. This guide is an 11 page pdf that gives you a step by step plan to have better meetings with the parents at your school. Every good coach has a game plan. Every good teacher has a lesson plan. Too many private school leaders don’t have a plan when they sit down to meet with an upset parent. Well, now you have a PLAN! You can grab this FREE GUIDE at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/meeting
I’ve created a free resource for you called “The 6 Things That Every Private School Teacher Wants From Their Leader”. This guide is a 6 page pdf that will be a game changer for you. I guarantee you that if you do these 6 things, the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. You can pick up your free guide by going to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/guide
I want to give you a gift to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. I have created a FREE guide for you called “5 Strategies To Help You Work With Difficult Parents”. We know that working with parents is part of the job and most of our parents are great, but some of them can be very demanding and emotional and difficult. This guide will give you the tools that you need to build better relationships and have better meetings with the difficult parents at your school. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/parents to grab the guide. Thank you again for listening every week!
Please check out all of the free resources on my website that can help you serve and lead your school community. There are "Plug & Play PD's" (45 minute webinars with guided notes) as well as Top 10 Lists of Leadership Books, Productivity Books and TED Talks over at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/resources. You can grab the show notes for today's episode at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/episode111
Please write a review of this podcast and help the algorithm push this content out to more leaders. I would love to get your feedback about the podcast, ideas for future episodes and hear about how you are implementing these strategies in your life and at your school. You can email me at [email protected] Thanks!!
I’ve created a FREE RESOURCE for you called “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. This is a 10 page pdf that will help you to keep your staff and students safe and help keep your school out of court. Litigation is expensive, time consuming and extremely stressful. This common sense guide will help you to be more intentional and proactive when it comes to protecting your school. You can grab “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/lawsuit. Thanks!
I am excited to share a brand new resource with you. It is a 9 page pdf called: “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” What is “Verbal Judo”? "Verbal Judo" is a communication strategy that focuses on using words effectively to de-escalate conflict, resolve disputes, and achieve positive outcomes in various interpersonal interactions, particularly in high-pressure situations.
George Thompson and Jerry Jenkins wrote a book called Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art Of Persuasion. So, I have taken several important strategies from the book and applied them to your life as a private school leader. Grab your free copy of “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/judo
TRANSCRIPT:
Welcome to the Private School Leader podcast, • where private school leaders learn how to thrive • and not just survive as they serve and lead their schools. • I strongly believe that it is possible to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. And my passion is to help you figure out exactly how to do just that • right here on the Private School Leader podcast. And I'm your host, Mark Minkus. • • • So I want you to imagine • • • • that the • • • • NFL team nearest you or the NFL team that you are interested in, or • • maybe you're not a big football fan, but you can just use your imagination. But let's say that it's an NFL • • game • • and that after the game the coach has his mini press conference. • • • • And during that press conference, • • • one of the reporters asks the coach of the team, • • well, how do you feel about the fact that your quarterback • threw four interceptions, especially that one right near the end of the game that lost the game for your team? • • • • Well, you probably already know how the NFL coach, how the coach is going to respond to that question. • • He's going to say something along the lines of, well, you know, • • um, I'm the coach and I take full responsibility for that. • And, um, I just need to really get the guys ready to play. And our coordinators need to, you know, not put him in that situation. • • • And, you know, we need to scheme m up something better on offense and so on and so forth. • • So • • we know that he's not going to throw his quarterback under the bus in that press conference. • • Now, he is very likely going to have a conversation • • with his quarterback in private • • and talk about decision making and, • um, • you know, things of that nature. But, you know, we've seen it before, many, many times. • • You know, a coach is going to praise • • their, um, athletes, they're going to take responsibility for the loss, and then very likely in private, they're going to deal with the situation. • • • • And here's the thing that is a characteristic of great leadership to accept responsibility even when it's not your fault. • And a characteristic of poor leadership is to play the blame game. Sometimes I like to say it's when you get your get out, your blame thrower, • • • and, um, you know, getting defensive and throwing people under the bus, those are characteristics of poor leadership. • • And, you know, why does this happen? Well, I think it happens for two reasons. One is because it's very • difficult to take responsibility • • • and it's very easy to blame everybody else. • • • • And so • on, uh, today's episode of the Private School Leader podcast, we're going to • • answer the question • • at your school, who gets the credit and who takes the blame. • • • • But before we jump into that subject, • • • I have a free resource for you • and it's called the top six ways to protect your school from a lawsuit. • • And this is a 10 page PDF that will help you to keep your staff and students safe and help keep your school out of court. • • Litigation is expensive and time consuming and extremely stressful. And this common sense guide can help you be more intentional and proactive when it comes to protecting your school. • • And you can grab the top six ways to protect your school from a lawsuit at the private school leader.com lawsuit again, that free guide for you is available over@theprivateschool leader.com • • lawsuit • • and then a quick question for you.
One on one coaching is all about helping you solve your biggest school problem
What's your biggest problem at school right now? What is it that you're dealing with? Maybe it's • • • • parents. Maybe it's a difficult teacher. Maybe it's • • something, um, • • to do with, • um, facilities. • • Maybe it's um, something to do with retention and recruitment. • • Um, you know, what is your, what's your biggest challenge right now? What's the biggest problem? Well, one on one coaching is all about helping you solve that problem. And it's also all about helping you • to have a transformation, • • um, wherever you are in your current state • • to help you get clear on what you want and where you could be as a private school leader, as a parent, as a spouse or partner, as a, as a person. • • • • You can't, you know, if you could get those things • • for free and maybe you can, you know, with all the free content that's out there. But if you want to take that next step • • and • • work with me one on one • • and get that transformation in your life and • um, work together to solve your biggest problem at school right now. Then head over to the private school leader.com coaching • and check it out. • • •
Great leaders take responsibility even when it's not their fault
So we're talking about • • who • • • um on this, on this episode of the podcast, we're talking about who gets the credit and who takes the blame. • • • And so I want to just talk for a moment about the importance • • • of • taking responsibility • • and how that helps with your bedrock of integrity in your leadership at your school. • • Because it's a fundamental truth that great leaders • • take responsibility • • • • and great leaders take responsibility even when it's not their fault. • • This isn't about whose fault it is. It's about the fact that as the school leader, you're the face of the institution. • • You're the one who is the leader. • • • And when things go right, • you should highlight the work of your team and give them credit. And when things go wrong, it's your role to step forward and just own that situation. • • • And that is very, very difficult. And it can lead to a lot of internal feelings about. Yeah, but I'm not the one who did that. And, • • • • • um, I'm here to tell you it's hard, • but it's our responsibility • • to step up and to take responsibility • • • and to lead in that way. • • • So I want to tell you • • • three reasons why this is so important. • • • And then I'm going to talk about why • • some leaders blame others rather than take responsibility. • • And then I'm going to give you seven strategies • for effective leadership • • with regards to taking the blame and giving credit. • • • • • • Now, I know what I just said sounded like a lot, • • and as usual, I will take good care of you in the show notes. • • Those will be@theprivateschool • leader.com • episode • 111. • • • • And you know, again, I always encourage you to • • • do something else while you're listening to the podcast. You're so busy. And if you can take in this, this content, • • um, while you're walking the dog or working out or running errands or driving to or from school, then, um, maybe later, if there's something you want to go back to, you can check it out in the show notes. • •
Taking responsibility for mistakes builds trust, so it's important for leaders
So what are three reasons why this is so important? • • You know, who. Who gets the credit and who takes the blame? Why? Why is that so important? Well, reason number one is because it builds trust. • • You know, I've talked about this before. • • I've talked. I actually just talked about it last week in episode 110. • • That trust • • and honesty • and integrity is the foundation of leadership. • • • • And when you take responsibility for your mistakes, • • • • that's huge. Okay, but it's even • bigger • • when you take responsibility for mistakes • • in the organization or for other people's mistakes. And even when it's not entirely your fault, you're showing your team • • that you are going to be accountable as the leader • • and that you're trustworthy. And there are a few things • that build trust more • • • • • • than stepping up and taking responsibility and holding yourself accountable, apologizing • • and not throwing people under the bus. • • • • So the reasons why this is so important, • • number one is building trust. Number two is empowering others. • • • • So when you give credit to your staff when things go well, you're empowering them. M and it's great for boosting morale. • • • • And honestly, this encourages your teachers • • • • to take initiative and to. I think they feel more valued for the things that they contribute for their hard work. • • And • • • • it really helps to empower your teachers. And then the third reason why this is so important is because you are actually modeling integrity. • • You know, our teachers, • • • • they tend to do what we do. • • So if we're showing up late, • • • • three out of five days, • • • we're giving them permission to show up late. • • • If we have an unpredictable mood and we get angry and just every once in a while • kind of pop off in a, in a meeting, • • um, • and let somebody have it, • then we're giving them permission and modeling that that's okay. Uh, that's an okay way to treat other people at our school. So we, what we model, • • • that's what they follow. That's what they do. And so with your, with your staff and your students and even the parents of the school, they're watching how you handle situations. And if you take the blame and give credit, • • that just sets an example • • not only of accountability and responsibility, but also of humility. • • I'm telling you there, • • the Venn diagram does not overlap very much or at all • • when it comes to a leader • • • that doesn't take responsibility. • • • • And • • • • • the word humility, • • • • • • • • • • • • when the leader has arrogance and insecurities • • • and • um, • • • • • • conceit, • • um, and is a positional leader, • • that's the kind of leader • • • • that does not display humility and is going to • • • throw people under the bus and is going to get defensive and is not going to take responsibility. And so, you know, we're, • I just, it's just a reminder that what we're modeling is that um, taking the blame, giving credit to others when they succeed, • • • it's, it's all about setting that example, you know, humility, integrity, selflessness, those keys for • • um, being a great leader and for um, building • that trust and building those relationships. • • • So why do some leaders blame others rather than take responsibility? • When we look back over our time as a leader, no matter how long it's been, • of course there have been times where we have not stepped up and taken responsibility. So why does that happen to us? Or why are some leaders just so prone to that? Well, I think there's a few reasons. One is fear of failure. • • • • • We all have a fear of failure • • • • • • and when something goes wrong, • • • • we don't want to attach our name to that. • Then we look like the failure. • • • • • Uh, another reason is lack of self awareness. I think that some leaders do this and aren't really fully aware that they're doing it. It's just like a defense mechanism. Most defense mechanisms are reflexive • • and we're not really thinking through what we're doing. We just do it. And that's, that's even worse because then that's a Pattern, it's not situational as much as it's, it's a habit. It's a pattern of what we do. So a lack of self awareness. • • Um, another reason why sometimes we don't take responsibility is just insecurity. And imposter syndrome. You know, imposter syndrome is all about that when bad things happen, it, when good things happen, it's luck. And when bad things happen, it's proof. • • • • • • And so we don't want those bad things to be attached to us. • • • • And then that comes, that leads to the next reason why sometimes leaders don't take responsibility. And that's reputation. • • We want to have a good reputation. We want to be perceived • as • a good leader or popular or well liked or whatever. And when something goes wrong, we don't want that attached to our reputation. • • • • Um, another reason could be a need for control. • • Some of us • • have more of a need for control than others. • • And I believe that leaders who tend more towards • • wanting control and micromanaging, that they are less likely to take responsibility • • • when things go wrong because they're super clear on who's responsible for what. And it's really hard to not, • • • um, to, to know that and then to not shine the light on people who, • • while you were responsible for this part of the project and that didn't happen. • • • • And so then the, and the final reason, and I have this in all caps in my notes, is, is when we're under a lot of stress and under a lot of pressure, • • • that, that's a lot of the reason when, when we don't take responsibility and when we do get out our blame thrower, • • • • • you know, we're under a lot of stress, we're under a lot of pressure • • • • • • and when we don't meet a goal, you know, if we're at a board meeting, see, here's the other thing. • • It's one thing to stand up in front of your teachers at a meeting and take responsibility for something, but what about when you're at a board meeting and the teachers aren't in the room • and, or your admission director isn't in the room • • • • and you're under a lot of pressure to meet certain, um, goals for enrollment or certain test scores or you know, things of that nature. • • • • • It's pretty • • • • • hard • • • • to accept responsibility • • • • • • • and to not blame others, • • • • especially when they're not there and especially when we're under stress. And so, • you know, integrity doesn't take a time out when we're • • • no longer in the presence of others. In fact, integrity, many people, we've seen that definition where uh, integrity is how we act when no one is watching. • • So I think that these are a lot of the reasons why we don't take responsibility • • and why we like to blame others. Or I don't want to say we like to blame others, but sometimes we resort to • • • blaming others. Fear of failure, lack of self awareness, insecurity, imposter, syndrome, • protecting our reputation and need for control. And we're under a lot of stress. • • • So all of those are really, really valid things and they happen. • • But what we want to do is kind of pause • and take that step outside of ourselves and be curious observers of the way that we behave and the way that we act when it comes to this specific issue. • • • And we're going to step up like we always do on this podcast.
Okay, so here are the seven strategies for effective leadership
Okay, so here are the seven strategies for effective • leadership with regards to • • who gets the credit and who takes the blame. • • • • So I'll just run through them and then we'll take them one by one. • • • • And, um, like I said, they'll be there for you in the show [email protected] • episode • 111. • • So here they are. Number one, publicly take responsibility for mistakes. Number two, give credit to your team publicly. These are the strategies that we're going to follow. Number three, coach and correct in private. Number four, be transparent. Number five, own decisions even when they are delegated. • Number six, model accountability daily. And number seven, celebrate team success without taking credit. • • • • • Now those sound pretty straightforward. • • • Sure they are. • • • There's a lot of things about leadership that are straightforward, but they're not easy. • • •
Number one, we're going to publicly take responsibility for mistakes
So, um, before we • • just. One last thing before we start with number one here. And that is I wanted to remind you about episode 42, • • • um, and it's called Extreme Ownership Leadership Lessons from a Navy seal. • • • And I'm going to link that for you in the show notes. And that is kind of along the lines of what we're talking about. • And it's through the lens of the book Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin and, um, their experience, • um, in, • • um, Ramadi, um, over in, during the, during the war. • • • • • And, um, Extreme Ownership Leadership Lessons from a Navy SEAL. Episode 42, • • um, • will be a good companion episode for today's episode. So I'll link that in the show notes. Okay. Number one, we're going to publicly take responsibility for mistakes. • • So when something goes wrong, whether it's a decision that • • • we made and it didn't really work out, or a policy that receives • • some pushback and some backlash, or, • • • um, an issue • • with a student and you decided a certain way to handle it and • it didn't work out. You know, you decided to take that student or you decided to keep that student instead of expel them or just whatever the case might be. • • • • It is absolutely essential that we take responsibility as the leader, • • • • publicly take responsibility for mistakes. We all make mistakes. • • • The team knows that we made the mistake. • • If we don't take responsibility and we use evasive language and we try to, you know, make excuses and get defensive, • • • that is not good leadership. And they see it and it's a really bad look, and it erodes trust. • • • • But what we can do in those situations, • it's not easy. But what we can do is just take responsibility • • • and apologize • • • and then just say that you're going to work hard to make it better or to do better next time. • • And here's the other thing. • • • • • • If you want to talk about gossip, if you want to talk about people talking about you behind your back, • • • • • • • if you. If everyone knows that you messed up • • • and you get defensive • • or you blame others or you get evasive and you don't take responsibility, • • • • that's when you're like pouring. It's like pouring gasoline on the conversations. The, uh, pouring gasoline on the fire • • of those conversations that are happening in the teacher work room or in the teacher group text. • • • • • • • • • • But the thing that just deflates that and ends it and they move on to the next thing • • is when you apologize and take responsibility • • and just say that you're going to work harder to make it better or. Or work harder so that it doesn't happen next time. • • • And I want to tell you something. Early in my career, • probably the first, • um, 12 years of my career, • • • • I rarely took responsibility. • I made excuses, I was defensive. • • • • • It was very rare for me to apologize. And it's because I was a very insecure • • leader as a young leader early in my career, • • • • • • • • and it wasn't a good look. • • • And so • • • • • • • • • as I got more into my career and more experienced and more confident, then I started to do that. But so my point in bringing that up is that I've had a portion of my career, • • at least, probably about a third of my career, where I was living in that zone of • blaming and not taking responsibility • and being evasive and making excuses and getting defensive. • • • • • • • • So I know how that went. It didn't go well, • • • • • • and everybody knew that I messed up, and everyone knew that it was my responsibility and knew it was my fault. • • • • But then for two thirds of my career, I've tried to take. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'M not saying I've done it every time, • • • • • • but more often, much more often, • I try to take responsibility and apologize. • • • • • • It diffuses • • all that talk • and it builds trust, it builds confidence, • and it builds morale and it builds a better relationship with your team. • • So number one is to publicly take responsibility for mistakes • • • and number two is to give credit to your team publicly. So you know, when your teachers or the school achieve something positive, let's say it's academic success with • um, you know, test scores or • • um, it's a really successful event like back to school night or grandparents day, or it's some sort of improvement in the school culture or maybe it's • • um, • • • • a um, the self study for accreditation. Everyone worked really hard and got turned in ahead of the deadline. • • • We have to give credit where credit is due. • • • And these teachers, they work really hard. And I'm not trying to say that every teacher in your school is perfect or that every school teacher in your school works really, really hard, but almost all of them do. • • • • • And so when we're in staff meetings or you know, the places where we can give credit, we can give it publicly in a staff meeting or at an all school assembly, • • um, • • or an all school religious service if you're a religious school. • • Um, in the school newsletter we can highlight what happened. Um, it can be the daily memo or the weekly memo or the parent memo. • • • There are a lot of places where we can shout out people morning announcements, • • um, • to celebrate their success and give them those shout outs that they've earned • • • and so that they know that their hard work is appreciated and it builds morale and it strengthens your team • • and it encourages continued dedication and it encourages them to have a lens through which they start shouting out others. • • • • • • • • • • Is that something that you want at your school? • • • Well, you can set the example by being the one that is giving credit to team, the team in general or team members in particular. • • • • Give credit to your teachers. They work hard. When things are worthy of • • recognition, we need to recognize them. • • •
Number three is to coach and correct in private when teachers make mistakes
All right, so that brings us to number three on our list of • • uh, seven • • strategies, • • • um, for effective leadership • • with regards to taking the blame and giving credit. So number three is to coach and correct in private. And so this kind of goes back to what I was saying about the NFL coach and the quarterback that threw • • four interceptions. • • • • • • When somebody on, when one of your teachers messes up • • • • and they make a mistake • • • and they need guidance and maybe they're embarrassed, • • • it is so important to handle those conversations privately because • • • publicly correcting them, publicly pointing it out, shining that light on them Publicly blaming them, you know, like I said, getting out your blame thrower, that just is embarrassing and it damages trust. • • • • • • • • And so let's say it's a • • teacher that needs improvement in their area of, uh, in the area of classroom management. Okay, well, you're not going to call them out in front of even one other colleague. You're going to talk to them one on one. You're going to discuss this, you're going to give suggestions, you're going to support them, you're going to maybe either yourself or get someone else to model a lesson. Maybe you're going to give them, you know, a copy of Harry Wong's, um, book the First Days of School. I'll link that in the show notes. I think that is the • • • • bible, quote unquote of effective classroom management. • • • Um, you're going to do it in private. And when you're in private, it allows you to be more honest, it allows you to be constructive. • • • It takes some of the emotion out of it. I'm not saying that there's no emotion there because they're going to feel defensive, you're going to feel stressed. But you can preserve the dignity of that teacher and respect that teacher by having that conversation in private. So, • • • • • um, • • • • • we accept the responsibility publicly and then we do our coaching and correcting in private. • • • All right?
Number four on our list is to just be transparent. And again, transparency, we hear a lot about that
And then number four on our list is to just be transparent. And again, transparency, we hear a lot about that. • • • I, um, think that there's even m more in our schools, there's more of a focus on that because in generally in the corporate world, in the political world, in local and state and federal government, that there just seems to be more and more of a lack of transparency. • • And so this has become a really important issue for people in general, for our teachers in particular. • And so we just want to be upfront and • • uh, about what happened. We can't share everything necessarily, especially if it's a staff issue, a personnel issue. Sometimes we can't really share much of anything. • • Um, but what we can share we should share and be transparent. • • • And • • • • • if there's an issue that, that comes up, • • um, we need to just be clear with the teachers or maybe it's an email to the parents, depending on the situation. • • And it's like, okay, such and such happened. And maybe you can't really say too much about what happened, but you can say, you know, this is a priority for us, that we're going to take this seriously. Here are the three steps that we're going to take to address it. Um, if you would like, to discuss this further, please, you know, reach out by email, just addressing it, • • you know, taking it on. • • I think so many of us were worried about the blowback. We're worried about the negative feedback and whatever. And then we kind of like kick the can down the road as far as, like, the communication and the transparency. • And all that does is make people think that we're hiding something. And then the rumor mill starts going, and then we have to get into, like, reaction mode and spin control and pr, • • managing the PR aspect of it. When, if we can just quickly and intelligently, • • • • • • um, do it, uh, communicate in a way that, um, just builds credibility and just reassures • • the teachers or the parents • • that you've got this and that you're handling this • • responsibility, • • you're handling it responsibly, • • and that you're accountable. • • •
Own your decisions even when they're delegated. And that kind of goes back to that extreme m Ownership
So • • • transparency and then communicating that, • • um, that brings us to number five, and that is to own your decisions even when they're delegated. • • • And this is tough. Okay? This is really tough because it's super clear to you who messed up. • • • • You make a decision, you delegate it to others, • • but ultimately you are responsible for that outcome. • • You know, the coach of that NFL team has an offensive coordinator and a defensive coordinator. • And if that defensive coordinator came up with a game plan • and that game plan didn't work • • • • in that post game press conference, • • • • that coach can't throw the defensive coordinator under the bus. • • He's going to have a conversation or two later. • • But • • • • when things are clearly delegated, • • • when something goes wrong, there's even more of a temptation to blame that person because it's super clear who it is that messed up. • • • But it's super important that we don't blame that person publicly. • • • • • • So let's say that someone at your school is important • • • or, excuse me, is responsible for, uh, planning an event. • • • • Um, and let's just say that that event was pretty disorganized and • • • • didn't really go well. And the registration materials weren't there and the coffee was cold and there wasn't enough food and there weren't enough chairs and just, you know, like, • • it didn't go well. • Okay, • well, the next, you know, um, • • • leadership meeting that you have, • • you're debriefing and, • • • um, this event, and everybody sitting there knows • • that who, who's responsible, • • • • • • • but you can take responsibility • • and be like, okay, I've, you know, I'm gonna, • • • • • um, we're gonna, we're gonna have a better event next year. I own this. • • • Um, and, and we will work. We're gonna take the feedback. But we're gonna focus on what we can do better, and we're gonna. We're gonna move forward. • • • • • • • So own the decisions even when they're delegated. And that kind of goes back to that extreme m Ownership that I mentioned. That's in that episode that I'll link in the show notes.
Model Accountability Daily is about being consistent in how you handle situations
All right, we're almost there. Two more quick ones. Model Accountability Daily is number six. • • • And again, • • that's hard to do for all the reasons I listed at the top of the episode. But, you know, accountability isn't just about handling, like, the big issues in the school, the big • • • • noticeable issues in the school. It's about being consistent • • every single day in how you handle situations because, you know, • • being accountable and taking responsibility. This isn't like something that you do every now and then. It's just like a way of life. It's a, um, it's a characteristic of your leadership. • • And if you make a small mistake in a meeting, let's say, like giving incorrect information, just correct yourself immediately • and show that even small mistakes matter. • • Um, you know, this. This really sets a strong example for your teachers. • • Again, it displays integrity, • • and it shows that you. You're taking responsibility in the little things and in the big things, you know, not just the big, grand, sweeping gestures. When it's something big, that is a really huge issue that, you know, the self study is. • • • • Is not done, and it's two weeks past the deadline, you know, or, • um, there was some major • • • thing about, you know, the campus facilities • issue. The, you know, the parking lot didn't get. Was not plowed, and, • um, • • you know, someone slipped and fell on their way into the school. • • • • • All right, it's pretty easy to blame the guy that didn't show up with his team to plow the parking lot. But, you know, it's like we have to be in this mode • • • • of. • • • • • • Instead of blaming, • • • • • • • taking responsibility. • • • •
Number seven is to celebrate team successes without taking credit
And then that brings us to number seven on our list of strategies, and that is to celebrate team successes without taking credit. I used to have this all backwards early in my career. • • • • • • For the leader, it's really about • • • • • shining that spotlight on the teachers, on your leadership team, on your kitchen staff, your office staff, your • • bus drivers, your coaches, • • • um, • • • your team members, the maintenance staff, the custodians. • • • • • Uh, as leaders, we're in the background. • • • • We're leading • • from behind. • • You know, that servant leadership, • • • the shepherd kind of guides the sheep. • • When your team, when your teachers accomplish something great, • you need to resist the urge to claim too much credit. And I would say resist the urge to • • claim any credit, • • even if you played a big role in front or behind the scenes, • • you know, if your school's • • standardized test scores go up, celebrate the teachers and the students who made it happen • • and just highlight that work that everyone put into and celebrate it. • • • And what it does is it builds a culture of shared success • • • because we've probably worked for people or we've seen • • people, • whether, um, it's on TV or actors portraying leaders in movies or whatever. When you know, the team accomplishes something and then the leader steps up and takes credit for it. And that is just the cringiest thing. • • And it feels like crap for people who did the hard work and then the leaders taking the credit. So this is probably a no brainer for you, • but I think it bears, um, mentioning anyways • • that, um, we want to build a culture of shared success • • where every teacher, every team member, they feel like their contribution is valued and recognized. • • And one of the ways we can assure that is that when great things happen, we're not taking the credit for it. • • • • So • • • what did we learn today? Well, we talked about three reasons why it's so important to take extreme ownership, • • • • • to take responsibility, to take the blame and to give credit to others. But also if there's something that needs to be corrected, we want to do it in private. • • And three reasons why it's so important to lead in this way is, number one, it builds trust. • Number two, it empowers others. And number three, it models integrity. • • And then our seven strategies for effective leadership • with regards to taking the blame and giving credit. Number one, we're going to publicly take responsibility for our mistakes. • Number two, we're going to publicly give credit to our team. • • Number three, we're going to coach and correct in private. • • Number four, be transparent. Number five, own decisions even when they are delegated. • • Number six, model accountability daily in the big things and the small things. And then number seven is to celebrate the success of our teachers and our team without taking credit. • • • • And your call to action for today's episode is that the next time that you have the urge to blame someone publicly for a mistake, just pause, • • take responsibility publicly, and then discuss it in private. • I know a lot easier said than done, but, um, • • • • you are very much able to do this. And it's that pause that is the big thing. Just have to pause before we react and start to blame and play that blame game. • •
Mark Menkaus offers free guide on working with difficult parents
So I want to give you another free gift as we wrap up the episode today. And this one's called 5 Strategies to Help you work with difficult parents. And we know that working with Parents is part of the job. And most of our parents are great, but some of them can be pretty demanding and emotional and difficult. • And this guide will give you the tools you need to build better relationships and have better meetings with the difficult parents at your school. So if you go to the privateschoolleader.com Parents, you can grab this free guide called the Five Strategies to Help you work with difficult parents. And that's just going over to the private school leader.com parents and you can get that for free. • • • And the last thing I want to mention is just a reminder that, um, if you want to go from • • being in survival mode and feeling like, do I want to keep doing this? This is so hard. I feel exhausted and overwhelmed and stressed out, and my family just is getting what's left of me at the end of the day, and this is just not sustainable. • • • If any of that resonates with you right now, • • • then I urge you to check out the privateschoolleader.com thrive • • because Thrive Academy is an online course that can take you step by step, strategy by strategy, from where you are to that ultimate goal of having a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. And so I want to help you go step by step to get there. And you can check that out at the private school leader • • • um.com thrive • • • and just a reminder that, um, I love the feedback. You know, we've gotten some great reviews lately on Apple podcasts. Wherever you listen. If you would just take the time, take a few minutes to write a review • and rate the podcast. • I love the feedback. I really appreciate it. But more importantly, it helps, um, • the algorithm push this podcast out as suggested content to private school leaders all over the world. We're trying to get the word out, and one of the ways to do that, the most important way to do that, is to just take the link from today's episode and share it with another leader in your life or an aspiring leader at your school. • • • • • • I've been your host, Mark Menkaus. I appreciate you. I appreciate all the hard work that you're doing at your school for your lucky teachers and your lucky kids. • And I just want to say thank you so much for taking time out of your week to join me here today. And I'll see you next time right here on the Private School Leader podcast. And until then, always remember to serve first, lead second, and make a difference.
View all episodes
By Mark Minkus
4.9
6161 ratings
Picture this. The coach of your favorite NFL team is having his post-game press conference. Your quarterback just threw four interceptions, including one that very likely cost your team the win.
When your coach is asked about the quarterback’s interceptions, you already know what he is going to say. “This loss is on me. I need to do a better job getting everyone ready to play. I need to put him in a better position so that he doesn’t have to try to make those throws.” He will take responsibility publicly and have a conversation with the quarterback behind closed doors.
A characteristic of great leadership is to accept responsibility, even if it is not your fault.
A characteristic of poor leadership is to play the blame game, get defense and throw your people under the bus.
On today’s episode of The Private School Leader Podcast, we are going to answer the question: At your school, Who Gets The Credit And Who Takes The Blame?
Thank you for taking me along with you when you are walking the dog, driving to school or running errands. I appreciate you and what you are doing for the lucky kids and teachers at your school.
Thanks so much for listening and thanks for making a difference!
Mark Minkus
Being a private school leader is a VERY difficult job. You have to make hundreds of decisions every day, and you have to keep everyone safe, increase enrollment, keep the parents happy, keep the board happy, motivate the teachers, deal with student discipline, beat last year’s test scores and come in under budget.
That can lead to you feeling tired, discouraged and stressed out. I’ve been there. That’s why I created THRIVE Academy just for you. THRIVE Academy is a digital course that will help you get out of survival mode and get back to feeling energized at school. To learn more, go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/thrive
If you have gotten value from listening to the podcast, I would love to work with you 1-on-1.
I help my clients overcome imposter syndrome, set boundaries between work and home and how to actually get important things done instead of having your day ruled by the tyranny of the urgent. Sounds impossible right? It’s not. I can teach you how to make it possible.
I would love to be your coach and I have a few spots open. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/coaching to learn more about working with me 1-on-1.
I am excited to share with you a new resource and I want to give this to you as a FREE GIFT to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. It is called The 7 Secrets To Improving Teacher Morale. As private school leaders, we are always looking for ways to improve teacher morale at our schools, but it is hard to know where to start. Well, now you have a step by step plan and you can grab it at theprivateschoolleader.com/morale
I want to give you a FREE gift called 7 Strategies To Effectively Deal With Difficult Teachers. Sometimes we need some courage and confidence to deal with difficult teachers. What you need is a plan! This guide is a step by step plan that you can use to help one of your difficult teachers improve their performance and improve their attitude. Go to theprivateschoolleader.com/difficult to grab this free guide!
I want to say thank you for listening to the podcast by giving you a FREE GIFT. It is called The 7 Steps To Having A Successful Meeting With An Upset Parent. This guide is an 11 page pdf that gives you a step by step plan to have better meetings with the parents at your school. Every good coach has a game plan. Every good teacher has a lesson plan. Too many private school leaders don’t have a plan when they sit down to meet with an upset parent. Well, now you have a PLAN! You can grab this FREE GUIDE at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/meeting
I’ve created a free resource for you called “The 6 Things That Every Private School Teacher Wants From Their Leader”. This guide is a 6 page pdf that will be a game changer for you. I guarantee you that if you do these 6 things, the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. You can pick up your free guide by going to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/guide
I want to give you a gift to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. I have created a FREE guide for you called “5 Strategies To Help You Work With Difficult Parents”. We know that working with parents is part of the job and most of our parents are great, but some of them can be very demanding and emotional and difficult. This guide will give you the tools that you need to build better relationships and have better meetings with the difficult parents at your school. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/parents to grab the guide. Thank you again for listening every week!
Please check out all of the free resources on my website that can help you serve and lead your school community. There are "Plug & Play PD's" (45 minute webinars with guided notes) as well as Top 10 Lists of Leadership Books, Productivity Books and TED Talks over at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/resources. You can grab the show notes for today's episode at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/episode111
Please write a review of this podcast and help the algorithm push this content out to more leaders. I would love to get your feedback about the podcast, ideas for future episodes and hear about how you are implementing these strategies in your life and at your school. You can email me at [email protected] Thanks!!
I’ve created a FREE RESOURCE for you called “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. This is a 10 page pdf that will help you to keep your staff and students safe and help keep your school out of court. Litigation is expensive, time consuming and extremely stressful. This common sense guide will help you to be more intentional and proactive when it comes to protecting your school. You can grab “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/lawsuit. Thanks!
I am excited to share a brand new resource with you. It is a 9 page pdf called: “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” What is “Verbal Judo”? "Verbal Judo" is a communication strategy that focuses on using words effectively to de-escalate conflict, resolve disputes, and achieve positive outcomes in various interpersonal interactions, particularly in high-pressure situations.
George Thompson and Jerry Jenkins wrote a book called Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art Of Persuasion. So, I have taken several important strategies from the book and applied them to your life as a private school leader. Grab your free copy of “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/judo
TRANSCRIPT:
Welcome to the Private School Leader podcast, • where private school leaders learn how to thrive • and not just survive as they serve and lead their schools. • I strongly believe that it is possible to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. And my passion is to help you figure out exactly how to do just that • right here on the Private School Leader podcast. And I'm your host, Mark Minkus. • • • So I want you to imagine • • • • that the • • • • NFL team nearest you or the NFL team that you are interested in, or • • maybe you're not a big football fan, but you can just use your imagination. But let's say that it's an NFL • • game • • and that after the game the coach has his mini press conference. • • • • And during that press conference, • • • one of the reporters asks the coach of the team, • • well, how do you feel about the fact that your quarterback • threw four interceptions, especially that one right near the end of the game that lost the game for your team? • • • • Well, you probably already know how the NFL coach, how the coach is going to respond to that question. • • He's going to say something along the lines of, well, you know, • • um, I'm the coach and I take full responsibility for that. • And, um, I just need to really get the guys ready to play. And our coordinators need to, you know, not put him in that situation. • • • And, you know, we need to scheme m up something better on offense and so on and so forth. • • So • • we know that he's not going to throw his quarterback under the bus in that press conference. • • Now, he is very likely going to have a conversation • • with his quarterback in private • • and talk about decision making and, • um, • you know, things of that nature. But, you know, we've seen it before, many, many times. • • You know, a coach is going to praise • • their, um, athletes, they're going to take responsibility for the loss, and then very likely in private, they're going to deal with the situation. • • • • And here's the thing that is a characteristic of great leadership to accept responsibility even when it's not your fault. • And a characteristic of poor leadership is to play the blame game. Sometimes I like to say it's when you get your get out, your blame thrower, • • • and, um, you know, getting defensive and throwing people under the bus, those are characteristics of poor leadership. • • And, you know, why does this happen? Well, I think it happens for two reasons. One is because it's very • difficult to take responsibility • • • and it's very easy to blame everybody else. • • • • And so • on, uh, today's episode of the Private School Leader podcast, we're going to • • answer the question • • at your school, who gets the credit and who takes the blame. • • • • But before we jump into that subject, • • • I have a free resource for you • and it's called the top six ways to protect your school from a lawsuit. • • And this is a 10 page PDF that will help you to keep your staff and students safe and help keep your school out of court. • • Litigation is expensive and time consuming and extremely stressful. And this common sense guide can help you be more intentional and proactive when it comes to protecting your school. • • And you can grab the top six ways to protect your school from a lawsuit at the private school leader.com lawsuit again, that free guide for you is available over@theprivateschool leader.com • • lawsuit • • and then a quick question for you.
One on one coaching is all about helping you solve your biggest school problem
What's your biggest problem at school right now? What is it that you're dealing with? Maybe it's • • • • parents. Maybe it's a difficult teacher. Maybe it's • • something, um, • • to do with, • um, facilities. • • Maybe it's um, something to do with retention and recruitment. • • Um, you know, what is your, what's your biggest challenge right now? What's the biggest problem? Well, one on one coaching is all about helping you solve that problem. And it's also all about helping you • to have a transformation, • • um, wherever you are in your current state • • to help you get clear on what you want and where you could be as a private school leader, as a parent, as a spouse or partner, as a, as a person. • • • • You can't, you know, if you could get those things • • for free and maybe you can, you know, with all the free content that's out there. But if you want to take that next step • • and • • work with me one on one • • and get that transformation in your life and • um, work together to solve your biggest problem at school right now. Then head over to the private school leader.com coaching • and check it out. • • •
Great leaders take responsibility even when it's not their fault
So we're talking about • • who • • • um on this, on this episode of the podcast, we're talking about who gets the credit and who takes the blame. • • • And so I want to just talk for a moment about the importance • • • of • taking responsibility • • and how that helps with your bedrock of integrity in your leadership at your school. • • Because it's a fundamental truth that great leaders • • take responsibility • • • • and great leaders take responsibility even when it's not their fault. • • This isn't about whose fault it is. It's about the fact that as the school leader, you're the face of the institution. • • You're the one who is the leader. • • • And when things go right, • you should highlight the work of your team and give them credit. And when things go wrong, it's your role to step forward and just own that situation. • • • And that is very, very difficult. And it can lead to a lot of internal feelings about. Yeah, but I'm not the one who did that. And, • • • • • um, I'm here to tell you it's hard, • but it's our responsibility • • to step up and to take responsibility • • • and to lead in that way. • • • So I want to tell you • • • three reasons why this is so important. • • • And then I'm going to talk about why • • some leaders blame others rather than take responsibility. • • And then I'm going to give you seven strategies • for effective leadership • • with regards to taking the blame and giving credit. • • • • • • Now, I know what I just said sounded like a lot, • • and as usual, I will take good care of you in the show notes. • • Those will be@theprivateschool • leader.com • episode • 111. • • • • And you know, again, I always encourage you to • • • do something else while you're listening to the podcast. You're so busy. And if you can take in this, this content, • • um, while you're walking the dog or working out or running errands or driving to or from school, then, um, maybe later, if there's something you want to go back to, you can check it out in the show notes. • •
Taking responsibility for mistakes builds trust, so it's important for leaders
So what are three reasons why this is so important? • • You know, who. Who gets the credit and who takes the blame? Why? Why is that so important? Well, reason number one is because it builds trust. • • You know, I've talked about this before. • • I've talked. I actually just talked about it last week in episode 110. • • That trust • • and honesty • and integrity is the foundation of leadership. • • • • And when you take responsibility for your mistakes, • • • • that's huge. Okay, but it's even • bigger • • when you take responsibility for mistakes • • in the organization or for other people's mistakes. And even when it's not entirely your fault, you're showing your team • • that you are going to be accountable as the leader • • and that you're trustworthy. And there are a few things • that build trust more • • • • • • than stepping up and taking responsibility and holding yourself accountable, apologizing • • and not throwing people under the bus. • • • • So the reasons why this is so important, • • number one is building trust. Number two is empowering others. • • • • So when you give credit to your staff when things go well, you're empowering them. M and it's great for boosting morale. • • • • And honestly, this encourages your teachers • • • • to take initiative and to. I think they feel more valued for the things that they contribute for their hard work. • • And • • • • it really helps to empower your teachers. And then the third reason why this is so important is because you are actually modeling integrity. • • You know, our teachers, • • • • they tend to do what we do. • • So if we're showing up late, • • • • three out of five days, • • • we're giving them permission to show up late. • • • If we have an unpredictable mood and we get angry and just every once in a while • kind of pop off in a, in a meeting, • • um, • and let somebody have it, • then we're giving them permission and modeling that that's okay. Uh, that's an okay way to treat other people at our school. So we, what we model, • • • that's what they follow. That's what they do. And so with your, with your staff and your students and even the parents of the school, they're watching how you handle situations. And if you take the blame and give credit, • • that just sets an example • • not only of accountability and responsibility, but also of humility. • • I'm telling you there, • • the Venn diagram does not overlap very much or at all • • when it comes to a leader • • • that doesn't take responsibility. • • • • And • • • • • the word humility, • • • • • • • • • • • • when the leader has arrogance and insecurities • • • and • um, • • • • • • conceit, • • um, and is a positional leader, • • that's the kind of leader • • • • that does not display humility and is going to • • • throw people under the bus and is going to get defensive and is not going to take responsibility. And so, you know, we're, • I just, it's just a reminder that what we're modeling is that um, taking the blame, giving credit to others when they succeed, • • • it's, it's all about setting that example, you know, humility, integrity, selflessness, those keys for • • um, being a great leader and for um, building • that trust and building those relationships. • • • So why do some leaders blame others rather than take responsibility? • When we look back over our time as a leader, no matter how long it's been, • of course there have been times where we have not stepped up and taken responsibility. So why does that happen to us? Or why are some leaders just so prone to that? Well, I think there's a few reasons. One is fear of failure. • • • • • We all have a fear of failure • • • • • • and when something goes wrong, • • • • we don't want to attach our name to that. • Then we look like the failure. • • • • • Uh, another reason is lack of self awareness. I think that some leaders do this and aren't really fully aware that they're doing it. It's just like a defense mechanism. Most defense mechanisms are reflexive • • and we're not really thinking through what we're doing. We just do it. And that's, that's even worse because then that's a Pattern, it's not situational as much as it's, it's a habit. It's a pattern of what we do. So a lack of self awareness. • • Um, another reason why sometimes we don't take responsibility is just insecurity. And imposter syndrome. You know, imposter syndrome is all about that when bad things happen, it, when good things happen, it's luck. And when bad things happen, it's proof. • • • • • • And so we don't want those bad things to be attached to us. • • • • And then that comes, that leads to the next reason why sometimes leaders don't take responsibility. And that's reputation. • • We want to have a good reputation. We want to be perceived • as • a good leader or popular or well liked or whatever. And when something goes wrong, we don't want that attached to our reputation. • • • • Um, another reason could be a need for control. • • Some of us • • have more of a need for control than others. • • And I believe that leaders who tend more towards • • wanting control and micromanaging, that they are less likely to take responsibility • • • when things go wrong because they're super clear on who's responsible for what. And it's really hard to not, • • • um, to, to know that and then to not shine the light on people who, • • while you were responsible for this part of the project and that didn't happen. • • • • And so then the, and the final reason, and I have this in all caps in my notes, is, is when we're under a lot of stress and under a lot of pressure, • • • that, that's a lot of the reason when, when we don't take responsibility and when we do get out our blame thrower, • • • • • you know, we're under a lot of stress, we're under a lot of pressure • • • • • • and when we don't meet a goal, you know, if we're at a board meeting, see, here's the other thing. • • It's one thing to stand up in front of your teachers at a meeting and take responsibility for something, but what about when you're at a board meeting and the teachers aren't in the room • and, or your admission director isn't in the room • • • • and you're under a lot of pressure to meet certain, um, goals for enrollment or certain test scores or you know, things of that nature. • • • • • It's pretty • • • • • hard • • • • to accept responsibility • • • • • • • and to not blame others, • • • • especially when they're not there and especially when we're under stress. And so, • you know, integrity doesn't take a time out when we're • • • no longer in the presence of others. In fact, integrity, many people, we've seen that definition where uh, integrity is how we act when no one is watching. • • So I think that these are a lot of the reasons why we don't take responsibility • • and why we like to blame others. Or I don't want to say we like to blame others, but sometimes we resort to • • • blaming others. Fear of failure, lack of self awareness, insecurity, imposter, syndrome, • protecting our reputation and need for control. And we're under a lot of stress. • • • So all of those are really, really valid things and they happen. • • But what we want to do is kind of pause • and take that step outside of ourselves and be curious observers of the way that we behave and the way that we act when it comes to this specific issue. • • • And we're going to step up like we always do on this podcast.
Okay, so here are the seven strategies for effective leadership
Okay, so here are the seven strategies for effective • leadership with regards to • • who gets the credit and who takes the blame. • • • • So I'll just run through them and then we'll take them one by one. • • • • And, um, like I said, they'll be there for you in the show [email protected] • episode • 111. • • So here they are. Number one, publicly take responsibility for mistakes. Number two, give credit to your team publicly. These are the strategies that we're going to follow. Number three, coach and correct in private. Number four, be transparent. Number five, own decisions even when they are delegated. • Number six, model accountability daily. And number seven, celebrate team success without taking credit. • • • • • Now those sound pretty straightforward. • • • Sure they are. • • • There's a lot of things about leadership that are straightforward, but they're not easy. • • •
Number one, we're going to publicly take responsibility for mistakes
So, um, before we • • just. One last thing before we start with number one here. And that is I wanted to remind you about episode 42, • • • um, and it's called Extreme Ownership Leadership Lessons from a Navy seal. • • • And I'm going to link that for you in the show notes. And that is kind of along the lines of what we're talking about. • And it's through the lens of the book Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin and, um, their experience, • um, in, • • um, Ramadi, um, over in, during the, during the war. • • • • • And, um, Extreme Ownership Leadership Lessons from a Navy SEAL. Episode 42, • • um, • will be a good companion episode for today's episode. So I'll link that in the show notes. Okay. Number one, we're going to publicly take responsibility for mistakes. • • So when something goes wrong, whether it's a decision that • • • we made and it didn't really work out, or a policy that receives • • some pushback and some backlash, or, • • • um, an issue • • with a student and you decided a certain way to handle it and • it didn't work out. You know, you decided to take that student or you decided to keep that student instead of expel them or just whatever the case might be. • • • • It is absolutely essential that we take responsibility as the leader, • • • • publicly take responsibility for mistakes. We all make mistakes. • • • The team knows that we made the mistake. • • If we don't take responsibility and we use evasive language and we try to, you know, make excuses and get defensive, • • • that is not good leadership. And they see it and it's a really bad look, and it erodes trust. • • • • But what we can do in those situations, • it's not easy. But what we can do is just take responsibility • • • and apologize • • • and then just say that you're going to work hard to make it better or to do better next time. • • And here's the other thing. • • • • • • If you want to talk about gossip, if you want to talk about people talking about you behind your back, • • • • • • • if you. If everyone knows that you messed up • • • and you get defensive • • or you blame others or you get evasive and you don't take responsibility, • • • • that's when you're like pouring. It's like pouring gasoline on the conversations. The, uh, pouring gasoline on the fire • • of those conversations that are happening in the teacher work room or in the teacher group text. • • • • • • • • • • But the thing that just deflates that and ends it and they move on to the next thing • • is when you apologize and take responsibility • • and just say that you're going to work harder to make it better or. Or work harder so that it doesn't happen next time. • • • And I want to tell you something. Early in my career, • probably the first, • um, 12 years of my career, • • • • I rarely took responsibility. • I made excuses, I was defensive. • • • • • It was very rare for me to apologize. And it's because I was a very insecure • • leader as a young leader early in my career, • • • • • • • • and it wasn't a good look. • • • And so • • • • • • • • • as I got more into my career and more experienced and more confident, then I started to do that. But so my point in bringing that up is that I've had a portion of my career, • • at least, probably about a third of my career, where I was living in that zone of • blaming and not taking responsibility • and being evasive and making excuses and getting defensive. • • • • • • • • So I know how that went. It didn't go well, • • • • • • and everybody knew that I messed up, and everyone knew that it was my responsibility and knew it was my fault. • • • • But then for two thirds of my career, I've tried to take. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'M not saying I've done it every time, • • • • • • but more often, much more often, • I try to take responsibility and apologize. • • • • • • It diffuses • • all that talk • and it builds trust, it builds confidence, • and it builds morale and it builds a better relationship with your team. • • So number one is to publicly take responsibility for mistakes • • • and number two is to give credit to your team publicly. So you know, when your teachers or the school achieve something positive, let's say it's academic success with • um, you know, test scores or • • um, it's a really successful event like back to school night or grandparents day, or it's some sort of improvement in the school culture or maybe it's • • um, • • • • a um, the self study for accreditation. Everyone worked really hard and got turned in ahead of the deadline. • • • We have to give credit where credit is due. • • • And these teachers, they work really hard. And I'm not trying to say that every teacher in your school is perfect or that every school teacher in your school works really, really hard, but almost all of them do. • • • • • And so when we're in staff meetings or you know, the places where we can give credit, we can give it publicly in a staff meeting or at an all school assembly, • • um, • • or an all school religious service if you're a religious school. • • Um, in the school newsletter we can highlight what happened. Um, it can be the daily memo or the weekly memo or the parent memo. • • • There are a lot of places where we can shout out people morning announcements, • • um, • to celebrate their success and give them those shout outs that they've earned • • • and so that they know that their hard work is appreciated and it builds morale and it strengthens your team • • and it encourages continued dedication and it encourages them to have a lens through which they start shouting out others. • • • • • • • • • • Is that something that you want at your school? • • • Well, you can set the example by being the one that is giving credit to team, the team in general or team members in particular. • • • • Give credit to your teachers. They work hard. When things are worthy of • • recognition, we need to recognize them. • • •
Number three is to coach and correct in private when teachers make mistakes
All right, so that brings us to number three on our list of • • uh, seven • • strategies, • • • um, for effective leadership • • with regards to taking the blame and giving credit. So number three is to coach and correct in private. And so this kind of goes back to what I was saying about the NFL coach and the quarterback that threw • • four interceptions. • • • • • • When somebody on, when one of your teachers messes up • • • • and they make a mistake • • • and they need guidance and maybe they're embarrassed, • • • it is so important to handle those conversations privately because • • • publicly correcting them, publicly pointing it out, shining that light on them Publicly blaming them, you know, like I said, getting out your blame thrower, that just is embarrassing and it damages trust. • • • • • • • • And so let's say it's a • • teacher that needs improvement in their area of, uh, in the area of classroom management. Okay, well, you're not going to call them out in front of even one other colleague. You're going to talk to them one on one. You're going to discuss this, you're going to give suggestions, you're going to support them, you're going to maybe either yourself or get someone else to model a lesson. Maybe you're going to give them, you know, a copy of Harry Wong's, um, book the First Days of School. I'll link that in the show notes. I think that is the • • • • bible, quote unquote of effective classroom management. • • • Um, you're going to do it in private. And when you're in private, it allows you to be more honest, it allows you to be constructive. • • • It takes some of the emotion out of it. I'm not saying that there's no emotion there because they're going to feel defensive, you're going to feel stressed. But you can preserve the dignity of that teacher and respect that teacher by having that conversation in private. So, • • • • • um, • • • • • we accept the responsibility publicly and then we do our coaching and correcting in private. • • • All right?
Number four on our list is to just be transparent. And again, transparency, we hear a lot about that
And then number four on our list is to just be transparent. And again, transparency, we hear a lot about that. • • • I, um, think that there's even m more in our schools, there's more of a focus on that because in generally in the corporate world, in the political world, in local and state and federal government, that there just seems to be more and more of a lack of transparency. • • And so this has become a really important issue for people in general, for our teachers in particular. • And so we just want to be upfront and • • uh, about what happened. We can't share everything necessarily, especially if it's a staff issue, a personnel issue. Sometimes we can't really share much of anything. • • Um, but what we can share we should share and be transparent. • • • And • • • • • if there's an issue that, that comes up, • • um, we need to just be clear with the teachers or maybe it's an email to the parents, depending on the situation. • • And it's like, okay, such and such happened. And maybe you can't really say too much about what happened, but you can say, you know, this is a priority for us, that we're going to take this seriously. Here are the three steps that we're going to take to address it. Um, if you would like, to discuss this further, please, you know, reach out by email, just addressing it, • • you know, taking it on. • • I think so many of us were worried about the blowback. We're worried about the negative feedback and whatever. And then we kind of like kick the can down the road as far as, like, the communication and the transparency. • And all that does is make people think that we're hiding something. And then the rumor mill starts going, and then we have to get into, like, reaction mode and spin control and pr, • • managing the PR aspect of it. When, if we can just quickly and intelligently, • • • • • • um, do it, uh, communicate in a way that, um, just builds credibility and just reassures • • the teachers or the parents • • that you've got this and that you're handling this • • responsibility, • • you're handling it responsibly, • • and that you're accountable. • • •
Own your decisions even when they're delegated. And that kind of goes back to that extreme m Ownership
So • • • transparency and then communicating that, • • um, that brings us to number five, and that is to own your decisions even when they're delegated. • • • And this is tough. Okay? This is really tough because it's super clear to you who messed up. • • • • You make a decision, you delegate it to others, • • but ultimately you are responsible for that outcome. • • You know, the coach of that NFL team has an offensive coordinator and a defensive coordinator. • And if that defensive coordinator came up with a game plan • and that game plan didn't work • • • • in that post game press conference, • • • • that coach can't throw the defensive coordinator under the bus. • • He's going to have a conversation or two later. • • But • • • • when things are clearly delegated, • • • when something goes wrong, there's even more of a temptation to blame that person because it's super clear who it is that messed up. • • • But it's super important that we don't blame that person publicly. • • • • • • So let's say that someone at your school is important • • • or, excuse me, is responsible for, uh, planning an event. • • • • Um, and let's just say that that event was pretty disorganized and • • • • didn't really go well. And the registration materials weren't there and the coffee was cold and there wasn't enough food and there weren't enough chairs and just, you know, like, • • it didn't go well. • Okay, • well, the next, you know, um, • • • leadership meeting that you have, • • you're debriefing and, • • • um, this event, and everybody sitting there knows • • that who, who's responsible, • • • • • • • but you can take responsibility • • and be like, okay, I've, you know, I'm gonna, • • • • • um, we're gonna, we're gonna have a better event next year. I own this. • • • Um, and, and we will work. We're gonna take the feedback. But we're gonna focus on what we can do better, and we're gonna. We're gonna move forward. • • • • • • • So own the decisions even when they're delegated. And that kind of goes back to that extreme m Ownership that I mentioned. That's in that episode that I'll link in the show notes.
Model Accountability Daily is about being consistent in how you handle situations
All right, we're almost there. Two more quick ones. Model Accountability Daily is number six. • • • And again, • • that's hard to do for all the reasons I listed at the top of the episode. But, you know, accountability isn't just about handling, like, the big issues in the school, the big • • • • noticeable issues in the school. It's about being consistent • • every single day in how you handle situations because, you know, • • being accountable and taking responsibility. This isn't like something that you do every now and then. It's just like a way of life. It's a, um, it's a characteristic of your leadership. • • And if you make a small mistake in a meeting, let's say, like giving incorrect information, just correct yourself immediately • and show that even small mistakes matter. • • Um, you know, this. This really sets a strong example for your teachers. • • Again, it displays integrity, • • and it shows that you. You're taking responsibility in the little things and in the big things, you know, not just the big, grand, sweeping gestures. When it's something big, that is a really huge issue that, you know, the self study is. • • • • Is not done, and it's two weeks past the deadline, you know, or, • um, there was some major • • • thing about, you know, the campus facilities • issue. The, you know, the parking lot didn't get. Was not plowed, and, • um, • • you know, someone slipped and fell on their way into the school. • • • • • All right, it's pretty easy to blame the guy that didn't show up with his team to plow the parking lot. But, you know, it's like we have to be in this mode • • • • of. • • • • • • Instead of blaming, • • • • • • • taking responsibility. • • • •
Number seven is to celebrate team successes without taking credit
And then that brings us to number seven on our list of strategies, and that is to celebrate team successes without taking credit. I used to have this all backwards early in my career. • • • • • • For the leader, it's really about • • • • • shining that spotlight on the teachers, on your leadership team, on your kitchen staff, your office staff, your • • bus drivers, your coaches, • • • um, • • • your team members, the maintenance staff, the custodians. • • • • • Uh, as leaders, we're in the background. • • • • We're leading • • from behind. • • You know, that servant leadership, • • • the shepherd kind of guides the sheep. • • When your team, when your teachers accomplish something great, • you need to resist the urge to claim too much credit. And I would say resist the urge to • • claim any credit, • • even if you played a big role in front or behind the scenes, • • you know, if your school's • • standardized test scores go up, celebrate the teachers and the students who made it happen • • and just highlight that work that everyone put into and celebrate it. • • • And what it does is it builds a culture of shared success • • • because we've probably worked for people or we've seen • • people, • whether, um, it's on TV or actors portraying leaders in movies or whatever. When you know, the team accomplishes something and then the leader steps up and takes credit for it. And that is just the cringiest thing. • • And it feels like crap for people who did the hard work and then the leaders taking the credit. So this is probably a no brainer for you, • but I think it bears, um, mentioning anyways • • that, um, we want to build a culture of shared success • • where every teacher, every team member, they feel like their contribution is valued and recognized. • • And one of the ways we can assure that is that when great things happen, we're not taking the credit for it. • • • • So • • • what did we learn today? Well, we talked about three reasons why it's so important to take extreme ownership, • • • • • to take responsibility, to take the blame and to give credit to others. But also if there's something that needs to be corrected, we want to do it in private. • • And three reasons why it's so important to lead in this way is, number one, it builds trust. • Number two, it empowers others. And number three, it models integrity. • • And then our seven strategies for effective leadership • with regards to taking the blame and giving credit. Number one, we're going to publicly take responsibility for our mistakes. • Number two, we're going to publicly give credit to our team. • • Number three, we're going to coach and correct in private. • • Number four, be transparent. Number five, own decisions even when they are delegated. • • Number six, model accountability daily in the big things and the small things. And then number seven is to celebrate the success of our teachers and our team without taking credit. • • • • And your call to action for today's episode is that the next time that you have the urge to blame someone publicly for a mistake, just pause, • • take responsibility publicly, and then discuss it in private. • I know a lot easier said than done, but, um, • • • • you are very much able to do this. And it's that pause that is the big thing. Just have to pause before we react and start to blame and play that blame game. • •
Mark Menkaus offers free guide on working with difficult parents
So I want to give you another free gift as we wrap up the episode today. And this one's called 5 Strategies to Help you work with difficult parents. And we know that working with Parents is part of the job. And most of our parents are great, but some of them can be pretty demanding and emotional and difficult. • And this guide will give you the tools you need to build better relationships and have better meetings with the difficult parents at your school. So if you go to the privateschoolleader.com Parents, you can grab this free guide called the Five Strategies to Help you work with difficult parents. And that's just going over to the private school leader.com parents and you can get that for free. • • • And the last thing I want to mention is just a reminder that, um, if you want to go from • • being in survival mode and feeling like, do I want to keep doing this? This is so hard. I feel exhausted and overwhelmed and stressed out, and my family just is getting what's left of me at the end of the day, and this is just not sustainable. • • • If any of that resonates with you right now, • • • then I urge you to check out the privateschoolleader.com thrive • • because Thrive Academy is an online course that can take you step by step, strategy by strategy, from where you are to that ultimate goal of having a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. And so I want to help you go step by step to get there. And you can check that out at the private school leader • • • um.com thrive • • • and just a reminder that, um, I love the feedback. You know, we've gotten some great reviews lately on Apple podcasts. Wherever you listen. If you would just take the time, take a few minutes to write a review • and rate the podcast. • I love the feedback. I really appreciate it. But more importantly, it helps, um, • the algorithm push this podcast out as suggested content to private school leaders all over the world. We're trying to get the word out, and one of the ways to do that, the most important way to do that, is to just take the link from today's episode and share it with another leader in your life or an aspiring leader at your school. • • • • • • I've been your host, Mark Menkaus. I appreciate you. I appreciate all the hard work that you're doing at your school for your lucky teachers and your lucky kids. • And I just want to say thank you so much for taking time out of your week to join me here today. And I'll see you next time right here on the Private School Leader podcast. And until then, always remember to serve first, lead second, and make a difference.
More shows like The Private School Leader Podcast
View all
Breakpoint
2,953 Listeners
The Briefing with Albert Mohler
8,460 Listeners
The EntreLeadership Podcast
4,299 Listeners
The World and Everything In It
6,897 Listeners
The Popcast With Knox and Jamie
6,947 Listeners
The Cult of Pedagogy Podcast
2,377 Listeners
Happier with Gretchen Rubin
12,922 Listeners
Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast
10,623 Listeners
Worklife with Adam Grant
9,235 Listeners
Faith Adjacent
5,033 Listeners
The Bible Recap
35,206 Listeners
Teaching to the TOP
644 Listeners
The Bright Morning Podcast with Elena Aguilar
544 Listeners
Financial Feminist
6,163 Listeners
What It's Like To Be...
558 Listeners