The Private School Leader Podcast podcast

September 14, 2024 Episode 100: Your Email Inbox Is A Chronological List Of Everyone Else's Priorities

So, I want to ask you a question about something that you do several times each day.

Let’s say that you are out and about in the school, walking around, solving problems, handling student issues, talking to teachers and maybe attending a meeting. So here’s the question: When you finally come back to your office and sit down at your desk, what is the first thing that you do?

About 90% of private school leaders do the same thing. They open their inbox and respond to a few emails.

There are some very valid reasons we do this. Your brain is craving a dopamine hit because you just expended some emotional energy and some physical energy while walking around your school. You also have a little decision fatigue and your cognitive load has increased. Unfortunately, your brain doesn’t know the difference between a high value task and a low value task. Your brain just knows that it really needs a dopamine hit.

On today’s episode of the Private School Leader Podcast, I am going to help you understand why dipping in and out of your email inbox is the least productive thing that you can do because Your Email Inbox Is A Chronological List Of Everyone Else's Priorities.

Thank you for taking me along with you when you are walking the dog, driving to school or running errands. I appreciate you and what you are doing for the lucky kids and teachers at your school.

Thanks so much for listening and thanks for making a difference!

Mark Minkus

If you have gotten value from listening to the podcast, I would love to work with you 1-on-1.

I help my clients overcome imposter syndrome, set boundaries between work and home and how to actually get important things done instead of having your day ruled by the tyranny of the urgent. Sounds impossible right? It’s not. I can teach you how to make it possible.

I would love to be your coach and I have a few spots open. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/coaching to learn more about working with me 1-on-1.

Being a private school leader is a VERY difficult job. You have to make hundreds of decisions every day, and you have to keep everyone safe, increase enrollment, keep the parents happy, keep the board happy, motivate the teachers, deal with student discipline, beat last year’s test scores and come in under budget.

That can lead to you feeling tired, discouraged and stressed out. I’ve been there. That’s why I created THRIVE Academy just for you. THRIVE Academy is a digital course that will help you get out of survival mode and get back to feeling energized at school. To learn more, go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/thrive

I want to give you a FREE gift called 7 Strategies To Effectively Deal With Difficult Teachers. Sometimes we need some courage and confidence to deal with difficult teachers. What you need is a plan! This guide is a step by step plan that you can use to help one of your difficult teachers improve their performance and improve their attitude. Go to theprivateschoolleader.com/difficult to grab this free guide!

I am excited to share a brand new resource with you. It is a 9 page pdf called: “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” What is “Verbal Judo”? "Verbal Judo" is a communication strategy that focuses on using words effectively to de-escalate conflict, resolve disputes, and achieve positive outcomes in various interpersonal interactions, particularly in high-pressure situations.

George Thompson and Jerry Jenkins wrote a book called Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art Of Persuasion. So, I have taken several important strategies from the book and applied them to your life as a private school leader. Grab your free copy of “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/judo

I want to say thank you for listening to the podcast by giving you a FREE GIFT. It is called The 7 Steps To Having Successful Meetings With Upset Parents. This guide is an 11 page pdf that gives you a step by step plan to have better meetings with the parents at your school. Every good coach has a game plan. Every good teacher has a lesson plan. Too many private school leaders don’t have a plan when they sit down to meet with an upset parent. Well, now you have a PLAN! You can grab this FREE GUIDE at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/meeting

I’ve created a free resource for you called “The 6 Things That Every Private School Teacher Wants From Their Leader”. This guide is a 6 page pdf that will be a game changer for you. I guarantee you that if you do these 6 things, the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. You can pick up your free guide by going to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/guide

I want to give you a gift to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. I have created a FREE guide for you called “5 Strategies To Help You Work With Difficult Parents”. We know that working with parents is part of the job and most of our parents are great, but some of them can be very demanding and emotional and difficult. This guide will give you the tools that you need to build better relationships and have better meetings with the difficult parents at your school. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/parents to grab the guide. Thank you again for listening every week!

Please check out all of the free resources on my website that can help you serve and lead your school community. There are "Plug & Play PD's" (45 minute webinars with guided notes) as well as Top 10 Lists of Leadership Books, Productivity Books and TED Talks over at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/resources. You can grab the show notes for today's episode at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/episode100

Please write a review of this podcast and help the algorithm push this content out to more leaders. I would love to get your feedback about the podcast, ideas for future episodes and hear about how you are implementing these strategies in your life and at your school. You can email me at [email protected] Thanks!!

I’ve created a FREE RESOURCE for you called “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. This is a 10 page pdf that will help you to keep your staff and students safe and help keep your school out of court. Litigation is expensive, time consuming and extremely stressful. This common sense guide will help you to be more intentional and proactive when it comes to protecting your school. You can grab “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/lawsuit. Thanks!

TRANSCRIPT:

Welcome to the private school leader podcast, where private school leaders learn how to thrive and not just survive as they serve and lead their schools. I strongly believe that it is possible to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. And my passion is to help you figure out exactly how to do just that right here on the private school leader podcast. And I'm your host, Mark Benkus. • • So I want to give you a scenario, and then I want to see if you, • • um, do the thing that 90% of school leaders do • • in this same scenario. So here's the situation. You're out in the school, • you're doing things. • You're perhaps dealing with a discipline issue. • • Um, maybe you're supervising a class change, • popping into a classroom. Maybe there's a maintenance issue. • • Uh, maybe someone in the main office has, um, a question. • And so you're out and about in the school doing some things, and then you, um, are out for a little while. You know, half hour, whatever it might be, maybe an hour. Um, you know how these things are. You're out, and you expect to be gone for a few minutes, and you're gone much longer than that. But you come back to your office and you sit down, • • and you're just kind of sitting there, and you're looking at your computer, um, • • screen. • • And my question is, what do you do next? • • • • So I want you to imagine this. You're out in the school, • out and about. You come back to your office, you sit down, you're staring at your computer. • What do you do next? • • • • Well, about 90% of school leaders • • • open their email inbox, • • • and • • that's okay if you're in that 90%. • • But I want to help you see today on this episode why • • • • it's completely understandable • • • why you would do that. It's also a lot of psychological factors that are causing you to do that, • but it's also the worst thing that you can do. • • You want to be productive and actually get work done on your priorities instead of on everyone else's priorities. • • So there is a better way. And on today's episode of the private school leader podcast, I'm going to do two things. Number one, I'm going to convince you that your email inbox is a chronological list of everyone else's priorities. And number two, I'm going to teach you how to engage with your email • in a way that will still allow you to get your important work done. • • • •

This is the 100th episode of the private School Leader podcast

But before we get into that, I want to celebrate with you because this is the 100th episode of the private School Leader podcast, and I'm super excited about that. I want to say thank you to those of you that have been listening for a long time. I talked to a couple different, uh, listeners this week, • • • • got, um, some emails and just people that have been listening for a long time. • Super excited about it, and just excited to be able to serve you with a hundred episodes of content that's specifically for you, to try to encourage and inspire you as you lead your school. And to celebrate the hundredth episode, I'm excited to tell you that I'm having a special three day sale on Thrive Academy. • • And that's going to be if, um, you're listening to this in real time, we're talking Tuesday, September 16, Wednesday, • September 17 and Thursday, September 18. • And the special sale is $100 off of thrive academy for three days only • and seven weeks of office hours instead of six, which is what you normally get. • And so I want to add to that, that if you're listening to this in real time, • • typically these, uh, podcast episodes • • come, um, • out, um, on a Saturday. • And I just want, um, to make sure that if you're listening and it's not yet Tuesday the 16th and you want to jump on board, it also could be that you are, um, interested in having your school pay for this professional development opportunity for you. And so if you just send me an email at mark dot o dot minkusmail.com and just ask for an invoice, I'll send you an invoice and, um, give you the $100 off price • and the seven weeks of office hours instead of six. So there's a lot of different ways that you can access this. Obviously, the privateschoolleader.com thrive is the, is the place where all of it happens to. There's an introductory video there. There's all kinds of, uh, client testimonials, • students that are in thrive academy that are enjoying office hours, all the different things. And so again, • • I just want to remind you, we're celebrating the hundredth episode of this podcast by having a special three day sale on Tuesday, September 16. Wednesday, September 17 Thursday, December 18, 2024. The deal is $100 off the regular price and seven weeks of office hours instead of six. Get in the door. Get in on it. Theprivatescalier.com thrive. • •

Free resource that every private school teacher wants from their leader

And to celebrate, I also want to give you a gift, and that is a free resource that I've created called the six things that every private school teacher wants from their leader. • • And this is a free guide. It's a six page PDF that I think can be a game changer for you. And I guarantee that if you do these six things that the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. And you can get that guide at theprivateschool leader.com guide. Again, that's the six things that every private school teacher wants from their leader. A free gift is just to say thanks for listening to the podcast. Grab [email protected]. • •

Your email inbox is where productivity goes to die, says private school leader

guide • • okay, • • • so I hit you with a quote. It's actually the title of this episode, and I've said it now twice, and I'm going to say it a third time. Your email inbox • • is a chronological list of everyone else's priorities. • And if you think about it, • • the reason I say that is because • it is a chronological list. It comes in order, • • um, newest to oldest on your inbox, • • • and it's generally a list of everyone else's priorities. It's not a list of your priorities, but I also like to say that your email inbox is where productivity goes to die. • • • And so if you can remember those two quotes, • • I hope that they'll have an impact on you to just start you to think about a different way to interact with email at school. Because as private school leaders, you're so busy, you have so many interruptions, you have so much task switching and email dipping in, in and out of your email box. Email inbox all day long is actually worse practice when it comes to productivity. And I'm going to teach, um, you today • and help you understand, • • • um, how and why that we can do this differently and actually get some things done that you want to get done. Doesn't that sound great? So let's go with the five. • • Um, I have five points here. This is best practice for engaging with your email inbox as a private school leader. Number one, understand why • • • • you open your email inbox when you sit down. • • I gave you that scenario before about sitting down after being out and about in the school. We're going to talk about that. Number two, • redefine urgency. Number three, the three steps to taking control of your inbox. Number four, create friction. And number five, remember the quote. • •

90% of school leaders open their email inbox when they sit down

Okay, so at the top of the episode, I gave you a scenario • • • • where you're out and about in the school and you're walking around and you're dealing with different issues. And then you come back and you sit down at your computer, at your desk and there's your computer and you're just kind of looking at it. • And what most of us do in, uh, my experience, it's around 90% of school leaders, • we open up our email inbox. Well, here's why. • • So when you're out in the school, you're • • using your brain. So there's some cognitive load. • • You're making decisions, so there's some decision fatigue, and then there's also some physical, • • um, aspect to it. Um, walking around and, you know, up and down stairs and so forth. So there's a little bit of physical fatigue, and then you're also very likely expending some emotional energy. And so there's a little bit of emotional fatigue. • And so if you've experienced that fatigue and you come and you plop down at your desk, • your brain is craving a dopamine hit. • • And here's the real key of this part, is that your brain does not know the difference between an important task and a low value task because you will get a dopamine hit either way. And that's why almost all of us open our, uh, email inbox and start responding to emails, because we're feeling productive. We feel productive and we get the dopamine hit. But the problem is that isn't a low value task. And the problem is that our • • • importance, our, um, definition of what we're going to work on that's important to us is now no longer in our control, but it's in the control of whoever happens to be at the top of our email inbox. • And then we make our way through some of those emails. And so the brain, again, it doesn't know the difference. And that's actually called the productivity trap. • Um, I did an episode on that episode 17 called nine ways to avoid the false productivity trap. And I'll link that in the show notes at the private school leader. • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • But this just makes us more likely to open email or do other low value tasks. • • Um, the false productivity trap talks about some other things like random rewards and about the rule of reciprocity and not wanting to let people down and • • feeling efficient or feeling like you're a good leader if you get back to people really, really quickly. And I just really want to try and get you out of the false productivity trap. And the first step in changing behavior is understanding why it's happening in the first place. So there's a lot of things conspiring against you. And that's why so many of us open our email inbox when we sit down at our desk, we're not going to do that anymore. So • • • • • that's, uh, point number one is just understanding why we open the email inbox when we sit down. And point number two is to redefine urgency. So I want you to think about this for a minute. And I know most of you are multitasking, and I always strongly encourage that you listen to the podcast while you're driving to or from school or running errands or on a walk or • working, uh, • out. And so, you know, this one might be, this next thing that I'm going to mention might be a little bit harder because, um, you are listening and not seeing this. But I have four categories on my screen with my notes here, and I've divided up • what percentage of your emails are, and then I've put them into four categories. And so this is just a thought exercise to help me prove my point. • And so I'll put this in the show notes as well. But • • the four categories are distractions, what percent? • • Interruptions, what percent? • • Goals and planning, what percent? And crises, what percent? And so there's four different total percents that add up to 100%. So let's be honest, okay, • • distractions and interruptions. • • • • • Um, we could throw in there low value • exchange of information. • • • • Um, that's probably taking up, • I'm gonna guess, 80, 90% • • • our email inbox, because things that are critical to goals and planning. Yes, you might be getting an email back about something about the accreditation and the self study, or something about that new curriculum that you're, um, considering purchasing for math. I'm not saying those aren't in your inbox. I'm just saying that not too many of your emails are containing things about your important goals and your planning. Some of them are, • • • • but also crises. • • • I would go so far as to say that's going to be extremely rare, that someone is going to communicate a crisis • to you in an email. • • It might be that a parent • is defining something as a crisis, and that's why it is in capital letters and has exclamation points. • • • • But a true crisis, • • • • • • I wonder how rare it is. I think it's extremely rare that the way that you would find out • • • about the crisis • is in your email inbox. And so what I'm trying to prove to you is that the percentage of things that are distractions, interruptions, low value exchange of information is very, very high. • And the percentage of emails that are about your true goals and planning and a, uh, crisis is very, very low. • • And so what that means is that we can actually check email less often than we do, and we are not going to be any worse off as far as running the school. And I will teach you why it's actually so much better to have set times when we're checking email instead of dipping in and out of email all day long. • And so just to kind of finish off this point and to drive it home, there are so few things at your school • • • • that are in an email • • that are so urgent that they can't wait until the next time that you are scheduled to look at your emails.

In point number three, I'm going to talk about taking control of your inbox

And in point number three, I'm going to talk about the three steps to taking control of your inbox. And we're going to talk about having a scheduled time in the morning, a scheduled time in the afternoon, and then a scheduled time before you leave for the day. • • • • • But you're going to be thinking, when I get to that. And you're probably already thinking, oh, my goodness, what about this email or that email? What if it comes in in between times? Listen, I want you to think, • • • how many different ways • can people reach you • • if something is truly urgent at your school? And let me ask you that question again. How many different ways other than email, • • • can people at school reach you if something is truly urgent? • • Okay. They could text you, • • they could call your cell phone, • • they could buzz the phone on your desk. If you have a phone with, um, • • internal intercom, which most of us do, • • • they could get you on the walkie talkie. Most of us have walkie talkies. They could stop by your office. • • There's about five or six right there, different ways that immediately someone could get in touch with you. And if you really stop to think about it, if it's truly urgent, they're not going to put it in an email. They're going to get you in one of those other ways. And so it's actually like an urgency and importance filter • when you think about it, that right off the bat, things that are truly urgent and important are probably not going to be in your email inbox. They're going to use one of these other ways to get in touch with you. So hopefully the first two steps, I've convinced you that • • • there are strong psychological reasons that have to do with your brain craving dopamine, which is why we are in and out of our email inbox all day long. And then also • that I've hopefully convinced you that • • your definition of urgent • • is different than everyone else's definition of urgent most of the time. And if there's something truly urgent and timely that needs your immediate attention, they are not going to let you know that in an email. • • Okay?

Three steps to taking control of your inbox are discussed in this podcast

And that brings us to point number three, which are the three steps to taking control of your inbox. All right, let me hit you with these. Step number one, this is really important, and I'm going to give you a disclaimer that it's going to sound like, oh, my gosh, I don't think I could do that. Hear me out. Trust me. Trust me that I've been doing this for years. Trust me that I have clients that have been doing this for a long time and that it absolutely changes the way that they lead because it builds margin into their day. Okay? You just got to trust me. 100 episodes in, you've listened to a lot of episodes. Just trust me on this one, okay? • Step number one, you're going to schedule 30 minutes in the morning, probably mid morning, • 30 minutes in the afternoon, probably after the lunch recess block all settles down. And any post, you know, recess issues are dealt with. And then 15 minutes at the end of the day to look at your email. So 30 minutes in the morning, • • • 30 minutes in the afternoon, and 15 minutes at the end of the day to look at email. All right, again, I can hear what you're saying. There's no way I can get through all my emails in, you know, let's see, added up. 30 minutes. 30 minutes. 15 minutes. That's an iron. 15 minutes. First of all, there's no way that I can get through all my emails in an hour and 15 minutes. All right, I'll come back to that in a minute. I'm going to crush that obstacle. • • • Um, also, • • • • you might be thinking that, well, wait a second. Is he saying that I'm not going to check email from the time that I leave • • • until mid morning, the next morning? • • Well, actually, • ideally that is what I'm saying. But also, realistically, • • we're not going to go from • • where you are • • if that is dipping in and out of your email inbox all day long, checking it on your phone at home, checking it on your cell phone in bed when you wake up in the morning before you say good morning to the person that you share a bed with. We're not going to go from • • all in on email • • to being disciplined. • We're going to have to • • • • not go cold turkey here. We're going to have to do it in stages. And so very likely what you're going to do is have to have a couple of other times, • • once in the evening, maybe once, um, in the morning when you arrive at school, but we'll get there. But I just want you to get the broad concept • • • • • and I want you to buy into this broad concept. And then everyone listening will, at their own pace, be able to get to that broad concept. All right, • • 30 minutes in the morning, 30 minutes in the afternoon, 15 minutes at the end of the day, that's when you're going to look at email • • • • and you're going to try to • • be very disciplined about this. • • • • And also, I want to tell you one last thing on step one, and that is • • • • • • there's a lot of research on task switching. • • I think private school leaders do more task switching than most jobs, probably very few jobs where there's as much task switching as there is for private school leaders. • • • • • • I just read a report, a research • study, uh, • that showed that it can take up to 23 minutes to fully engage • with the task • that you just switched to. • • • And so if you're in and out of email all day long and then you're on your way to a meeting or on your way to dealing with a student or whatever, I think for private school leaders we're much better and it takes us much less time to, uh, switch back and forth than 23 minutes, • • • but it still takes time • • and we want to make our time efficient and useful and we also want to have some control over how we're using our time. Remember, the title of this episode is that your email inbox is a chronological list of everyone else's priorities. Not only are we talking about how to do it, that's the best use of your time, but we're also talking about how to do it in a way that allows you • • • to do what you want to do as far as working on important tasks instead of working on everyone else's • • • • • needs and asks and tasks and, • • um, you know, the things that they're going to email you about. So that's step number one. Step number two, • • • • when you have this 30 minutes block, • what you're going to do is you're going to open your email inbox. • • • You're going to go through the emails, oldest to newest, unread emails, oldest to newest, using the two minute rule. • • And the two minute rule is as you go through emails, if you can respond to it, give an answer to the question. • • Um, if you can manage that within two minutes or less, you do it right then. • • And if you can't, you mark it as unread and you move on to the next email. • So you're starting with oldest going to newest • • • and then what you'll find is, as you get, we know this, that when you are doing one task and you're not switching, and I know, I can hear what the naysayers are thinking right now. You're thinking, you don't understand, you don't know how hard it is at my school. • • I don't. I don't. I do know what it was like to be the head of school with 400 students in the school • and I was the only administrator. • • • Um, and I know all about those interruptions. And at that time, was I using this method? No. I wish I had been. But I'm just saying that when you are designating time for email and that's the only thing that you're doing, • • • • • I know the interruptions will happen, • but if you're working on email, you're going to be so much more efficient at getting through your emails more quickly, oldest to newest and responding to them, than if you're in and out of your email all day long. And so step number two is go through your emails, oldest to newest. Use the two minute rule. Mark it as unread if it takes more than two minutes. And then once you get to the newest email, go back to the bottom and then work on the one that's unread. Work on that one until it's handled. And then go to the next one. And then go to the next one. And this will keep your unread emails list short. It will be eliminating a lot of the, um, • • • emails that are just pouring into your. It won't eliminate the emails that are pouring in, but it will help you more efficiently deal with them. • And one other thing that's kind of just like a bonus tip, • • • you need to unsubscribe from a lot of the stuff that you're getting. Okay. You know, I get a lot of emails a day. You get a lot of emails a day. But there's a lot of stuff • that we just need to be honest. And it's sort of like that deal where, um, I forget her name, but, uh, there's a woman who has a show on Netflix and talks about a few, you know, haven't touched the shirt or the outfit, the blouse or whatever in a year. Or if you pick up an item and it doesn't bring you joy, you know that you get rid of it. • • If this is a thing that's coming into your email inbox and you just really don't engage with it, hardly ever, you need to unsubscribe because we can cut down on the total number of emails that come in to our email inbox significantly if we just pause and take a look as we go through and just start hitting unsubscribe.

Step number three is to build your self discipline with email

Okay, step number three, • you build your self discipline • to • be, have fidelity with these 30 minutes time windows in the morning, in the afternoon, and before you leave at the end of the day. • • And it's going to take time, but you're going to build your self discipline and you're going to train everybody else. So you're going to train your teachers, you're going to train you. If you have a personal, if you have an administrative assistant, • um, if you have an administrative assistant, um, you need to have a conversation with that person, • • um, • • about this new system that you're going to use. And so that that person knows, so that he or she knows that uh, they are going to um, that's how you're going to interact with email. And when I say that you're going to train everyone else, I don't just mean you're administrative assistant if you have one. I mean your teachers. How many times have you been walking down the hall and someone comes up to you and say hey, did you, did you see that email I sent you? Um, • and you say well when did you send it? And they say um, about 15 minutes ago. • • • And so now what you say is you don't have to say, well I only check email three times a day. Don't say that. • • • Just say, you know what, I will check on that later this morning or I will get to that this afternoon. Like whatever is your next time that you're scheduled to do email and I'll get back to you. And let me tell you something, as a school leader, • • it is a uh, completely, • • • completely valid • • • • • • answer. • It is a completely reasonable expectation • • • • that there's going to be a little bit of lag time and we're talking about a few hours at most. If you're checking it three times a day. • • We've trained everybody else • • • that they're going to expect an answer immediately from us • • and then the more that we do that, • • the more they expect it. And so we need to adjust their expectations and then that is also part of what I call don't feed the beast. And so what I mean by that is • • • let's say that • • • you didn't get to all of your emails and you are looking at emails, um, in the evening or maybe you have young children and • • um, after you put the children to bed, then you're going to check email for 30 minutes or whatever the case might be. Well listen, when you're doing an email at 930 at night, schedule friend is your best friend. Schedule send is your best friend. Don't just hit send. A, it's interrupting that person's evening and b, the message that you're sending is that you're available. Twenty four seven. And so, um, in Gmail, which is what I use, and I'm sure for other email platforms, they have something similar. Just schedule send for 08:00 the next morning. And then, um, if you continue to let people know, hey, I'll look at that • • next time I check my email when I'm in my office. You'll find that in not too long of a time, it'll be within a few weeks that people will stop asking that question and they'll start changing their expectations for you about how quickly you get back to them. But part of it is you. All right? Part of it is you. • • I know we all want to get back to people really, really fast, and somehow that shows that we're efficient leaders, but really what it shows is that the tail is wagging the dog and we need to be working on the things we choose to work on instead of constantly, • um, • • just living by how many, um, emails we have in our email inbox. And I know all of this might sound a little foreign to you, and it might sound unbelievable. I'm telling you, I've seen it work with dozens of people. • I've seen it work for me for more than three years. • • It works. Just give it a try, please.

Step one is to turn off email notifications on your smartphone and smartwatch

Okay, we're on to number four. • Point number four. • • • • So number four is create friction. So if you have a. If you have. Buy some apples at the store and you want to eat some apples. Okay, • • • two scenarios. One is that the apples are in a bowl on the kitchen table. • • The other is that the apples are in the bag in the crisper drawer inside the, um, refrigerator. • • Which apples are getting eaten? • • You all know the answer. It's the apples that are in the bowl, because you just walk by and absentmindedly pick up an apple and you eat it. Okay. Conversely, • so there's no friction there. No friction with that bowl of apples. Lots of friction with the bag of apples in the, uh, refrigerator. • • Halloween candy, you know, a big bowl of Halloween candy, that's, you know, what, whatever is left from what you didn't give out at your front door or maybe what your kids gathered, um, and it's sitting there on the kitchen table • • • versus if that candy • • was in a cupboard where you had to get out, uh, from the pantry, a little step stool, climb up two steps and get that bowl out to get the candy down and then put it back up there. I can tell you right now, if you have to get the step stool out to grab that candy, you're not going to eat any of that candy, because that's too much friction. • • But if it's sitting there on the table, you're going to be eating candy until that bowl is empty. Okay? And one last thing to prove the point, and then I'll apply it to your, um, email, is that there was a hospital in the United Kingdom, over in England, that did a study. Um, they wanted to sell more water and less soda in their, uh, cafeteria. • • • • And they didn't change prices. The only thing they did was they changed the location of the displays, • • and they put a display of water, um, right next to the cash register. They made it easier to reach the water at eye level. • Um, they made the soda a little bit more difficult to reach. They didn't hide it, but they made it more difficult to reach. They changed the location of the water bottles. • • • • And you probably already know what happened. Um, the sale of water went up by, like, 300%. • • And so it's about friction, and so we want to create friction between you and the ease by which you can check your email. So step one, and this is huge, is to turn off email notifications • • on your smartphone and your smartwatch. This is a, uh, non negotiable for me. If you believe or listen to anything that I say, please, please, please turn off • email notifications for your work email on your smartphone and your smartwatch. That's step one. There's two more. • And some of these might make you cringe or be like, oh, my goodness, there's no way I could do that. Uh, • • and we're going to go through withdrawal a little bit, because we're so used to a certain way of doing things, it's going to take a little time to do things a different way. • • • • • When you open up, when you push the button on your smartphone and the home screen • lights, um, • up, how many swipes • • • until you get to your work email icon? • • • • • • • When you open up? When it lights up, how many swipes • • until you get to your work email icon? For most of us, it's one or zero. Okay. • • And so if you add one additional swipe, you move the icon off of that either first page or the second page. If you make one more swipe to get to your email, • • • um, from my coaching clients, it typically reduces how often you check email by about 70% to 80% just by that one thing, • • because you're thinking about it. The key is to think about it. I have one coaching client. What she does is she has a little, tiny, skinny rubber band, and when she leaves for the day, she puts it around her phone • • • • • • and around her smartphone and that tiny rubber band is just to remind her to pause and • do I really need to check email? Okay, that's the big thing, is that when the notifications are coming and we are just reflexively • checking email, • • • • • that's why we need to turn off notifications when it's so easy to just tap the icon and see if we got any email. • • • • • That's why we need to create friction.

M um, I talked about the email icon on your smartphone

M • • • • • um, • I talked about the email icon on your smartphone, • • • and then the last thing is, um, about your laptop. So • a lot of people say, well, it's just right there. The tab is open. It's so tempting. Okay, so what we're going to do is we're going to close the tab and open a window. And so, • um, whether you have • • • • • chrome, um, • • or whether you have safari or Firefox or whatever it is, I have chrome. If you hover over the, um, logo at the bottom of your screen and you right click, it'll pop up and it'll say, new window. • • Open a new window, • • • open your email • • • in that window, • • and then go back to the screen that's almost always open on your laptop or on your desktop and close your email tab. • Because when it's open, you can see the little parentheses and you know subconsciously how many unread emails you have, and you come back from somewhere and you're like, oh, my gosh, I have this many more emails. We're clicking, clicking, clicking on our email inbox. Let's create some friction. • • Hover over the logo. Right click open a window and • • put your email in there. And then when it's time on your schedule, you're putting this on your schedule as an appointment with yourself. That 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the afternoon when it's time, then you go there and you open that window and you work on your email. • •

What I described to you are some systems to build in around your email inbox

And that brings us to step five, • • and it's. Remember the quote? And here's the quote. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, he says, you do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. • • • • What I described to you are some systems that you're going to build in around your email inbox. • • If I just told you, well, let's just use your self discipline and try really hard and make a new year's resolution, no matter what time of year it is, and you're going to try really hard and you're going to do better with email. It's not going to happen • because • there's too many things conspiring against us, especially those psychological forces that I mentioned in, um, point number one. • • • • But if you have some systems, • • it's just like you as the school leader up on that trapeze • and you're flying around • • and you know that those trapeze artists • • that they have that big net, and when they miss, they fall, • • but they don't fall the way to the concrete. They fall all the way to the net. And then they bounce up and down a couple times and they climb the ladder and they start doing the trapeze again. That's what you're going to do with your email inbox because now you have some systems and you don't rise to the level of your goals or your self discipline. You fall to the level of your systems. And so when you have a couple days, when you mess up and you're in and out of email all day long, • • • you're going to have a system and you're only going to fall as far as the system. You're not going to fall all the way to the concrete. • • • • You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. • • And I want to hear from you. I want to hear when you do this, • • I want you to email me at mark dot o dot minkusmail.com and tell me about your successes. Because I want to beat the drum. I want to preach the gospel of these systems for doing your email, um, inbox. This way, • • • • it can definitely, definitely, definitely change, • • um, how productive you are, because your email inbox is where productivity goes to die. • • So let me hit you with the, uh, main points again. Best practice for engaging with your email inbox. • Number one, understand why your email inbox, why we open our email inbox when we sit down. It's those strong psychological factors, especially that strong craving for a dopamine hit when you have used some cognitive • energy, emotional energy, physical energy, and you have some decision fatigue. Number two, redefine urgency. • • • • That email inbox is a list of everyone else's urgent things, and they're not going to they at school. The people that need you at school are not going to get you through your email inbox. There are like five other ways they're going to get you your attention. • • • Number three, the three steps to taking control of your inbox. • I told you that. Number one is to • • • • create, • • • um, • • schedule. Ah, • • excuse me, into your day. 30 minutes in the morning, 30 minutes in the afternoon, and 15 minutes at the end of the day. That's when you're going to work on email. Step two, go through your emails, oldest to newest, using the two minute rule. Mark them as unread. When you get to the newest, go back to the unread ones and work through them until they're done. And then step number three is to build your self discipline. Train everybody else. Don't feed the beast. Okay. Number four is to create friction. And number five is, remember the quote • about we don't rise to level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems. And here's the thing. You now have a system • • • and you're, um, going to use that system and it's going to make a difference. And then you're going to email me at Mark o. Mincus. Ah. • • • • • • And your call to action • • for this episode is to create friction by turning off email notifications to your smartphone and your smartwatch. • • • Make it more than one swipe to get to your email icon on your smartphone. • • And then, um, open a window on your laptop to and then close the tab that's open all day long. And then part two of your call to action is to schedule those three times • • day to look at email and then just start. • • And so I just gave you a system. And if you want systems that will work as a private school leader, that's what thrive academy is all about. Thrive academy is everything that I've learned over 33 years of being a school leader. • • And • • whether it's productivity and time management or sustainable boundaries between work and home, • • um, • • leadership, • • um, skills, um, how to energize relationships, how to actually leave at a certain time at the end of the day, how to work on your goals instead of everyone else's priorities. How to feel better at the end of the day. How to leave at the end of the day with more energy and more left in the tank. • • • That is what thrive Academy is all about. And so, to celebrate the 100th episode of this podcast, • • • • remember Tuesday, September 16 Wednesday, September 17 Thursday, September 18, 2024 $100 off. Off. Seven weeks of office hours instead of six. • • All that information is there for [email protected]. thrive. And if you, if your school is going to pay for this as a PD opportunity for you, then just shoot me an email at Mark dot o dot minkusmail.com. • • • um, and I will send you an invoice for that. •

The private school leader podcast celebrates its 100th episode with a free gift

And I want to give you one more free gift before we go. And that is • the seven steps to having successful meetings with upset parents. This is eleven page PDF. It's a step by step plan to have better meetings with the parents at your school. • • • Every good coach has a game plan. Every good teacher has a lesson plan. Wouldn't it be great to have a plan when you sit down with an upset parent? Well, now you have a plan. • • Theprivateschooleer.com meeting a free guide for you theprivateschoolleader.com meeting • • and get the seven steps to having successful meetings with upset parents. So don't forget about, um, the show notes, the privateschoolier.com episode 100. • • And please, please, please don't forget about this big three day sale for thrive academy. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, • • and you know, go to thrive academy or go to theprivateschoolleader.com thrive. Shoot me an email if you have a question mark. Dot o dot minkusmail.com. i want to get this into your hands. I want it to change your life. I want it to change the way that you lead. • And I just appreciate you so much. You inspire me to keep creating these episodes week after week, and I'm just going to keep going. • Thank you so much for being here since the beginning. And as we celebrate the hundredth episode, I just want to say thank you and how much I appreciate you and all of your hard work that you're doing for those lucky kids and teachers at your school. • So thank you for joining me. Thank you for taking precious time out of your week to join me here today. And I'll see you next time right here on the private school leader podcast. And until then, always remember to serve first, lead second, and make a difference.

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