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Episode 115: The Top 10 Leadership Nuggets Of 2024
Back in the mid to late 90’s, I would get two stocking stuffers that I really liked. In my Christmas stocking, I would receive the special, year end editions of Sports Illustrated and People magazine.
These special editions would be full of Top 10 lists from the best movies, pop songs and TV shows to the best athletes, teams and biggest comebacks from that particular year. I know that magazines are quickly becoming a thing of the past, but I love Top 10 lists so much that I hope that they live on forever.
At the end of each year, I like to go back through the last 52 episodes and look for the best strategies, time management hacks, quotes and leadership advice. I have made my selections and on this week’s episode of The Private School Leader Podcast, I am going to share The Top 10 Leadership Nuggets Of 2024!
As the year comes to a close, I just want to take a moment and express my sincere gratitude and admiration to you for all of your hard work this year. You sacrifice so much as you pour yourself into the kids and teachers at your school. Thank you for serving them all year long.
I also want to say thank you for listening to the podcast and for sharing the link with other leaders in your life and rising leaders at your school. You inspire me to keep making weekly episodes and I am excited to continue to serve you in 2025.
I would LOVE to hear from you. Email me ([email protected]) and let me know your biggest takeaway from the podcast this year and also tell me your biggest struggle in 2024. It can literally be just a few words, but your feedback means so much and maybe I will turn your pain point into an upcoming episode!
Thanks again for all you do. I will be praying for you, your family and your school to have a safe, prosperous and Happy New Year!
Mark Minkus
What is your biggest problem right now? I want to hear more about your biggest problem and I want to help you solve it.
Whether your problem is feeling guilty that your family gets what’s left of you at the end of the day, relentless parents, difficult teachers, a lack of boundaries between work and school, feeling overwhelmed, Imposter Syndrome, enrollment or teacher morale, I can help.
I would love to hear more about your biggest problem and I would love to be your coach. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/coaching to learn more about working with me 1-on-1.
Being a private school leader is a VERY difficult job. You have to make hundreds of decisions every day, and you have to keep everyone safe, increase enrollment, keep the parents happy, keep the board happy, motivate the teachers, deal with student discipline, beat last year’s test scores and come in under budget.
That can lead to you feeling tired, discouraged and stressed out. I’ve been there. That’s why I created THRIVE Academy just for you. THRIVE Academy is a digital course that will help you get out of survival mode and get back to feeling energized at school. To learn more, go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/thrive
I am excited to share with you a new resource and I want to give this to you as a FREE GIFT to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. It is called The 7 Secrets To Improving Teacher Morale. As private school leaders, we are always looking for ways to improve teacher morale at our schools, but it is hard to know where to start. Well, now you have a step by step plan and you can grab it at theprivateschoolleader.com/morale
I want to give you a FREE gift called 7 Strategies To Effectively Deal With Difficult Teachers. Sometimes we need some courage and confidence to deal with difficult teachers. What you need is a plan! This guide is a step by step plan that you can use to help one of your difficult teachers improve their performance and improve their attitude. Go to theprivateschoolleader.com/difficult to grab this free guide!
I want to say thank you for listening to the podcast by giving you a FREE GIFT. It is called The 7 Steps To Having A Successful Meeting With An Upset Parent. This guide is an 11 page pdf that gives you a step by step plan to have better meetings with the parents at your school. Every good coach has a game plan. Every good teacher has a lesson plan. Too many private school leaders don’t have a plan when they sit down to meet with an upset parent. Well, now you have a PLAN! You can grab this FREE GUIDE at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/meeting
I’ve created a free resource for you called “The 6 Things That Every Private School Teacher Wants From Their Leader”. This guide is a 6 page pdf that will be a game changer for you. I guarantee you that if you do these 6 things, the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. You can pick up your free guide by going to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/guide
I want to give you a gift to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. I have created a FREE guide for you called “5 Strategies To Help You Work With Difficult Parents”. We know that working with parents is part of the job and most of our parents are great, but some of them can be very demanding and emotional and difficult. This guide will give you the tools that you need to build better relationships and have better meetings with the difficult parents at your school. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/parents to grab the guide. Thank you again for listening every week!
Please check out all of the free resources on my website that can help you serve and lead your school community. There are "Plug & Play PD's" (45 minute webinars with guided notes) as well as Top 10 Lists of Leadership Books, Productivity Books and TED Talks over at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/resources. You can grab the show notes for today's episode at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/episode115
Please write a review of this podcast and help the algorithm push this content out to more leaders. I would love to get your feedback about the podcast, ideas for future episodes and hear about how you are implementing these strategies in your life and at your school. You can email me at [email protected] Thanks!!
I’ve created a FREE RESOURCE for you called “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. This is a 10 page pdf that will help you to keep your staff and students safe and help keep your school out of court. Litigation is expensive, time consuming and extremely stressful. This common sense guide will help you to be more intentional and proactive when it comes to protecting your school. You can grab “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/lawsuit. Thanks!
I am excited to share a brand new resource with you. It is a 9 page pdf called: “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” What is “Verbal Judo”? "Verbal Judo" is a communication strategy that focuses on using words effectively to de-escalate conflict, resolve disputes, and achieve positive outcomes in various interpersonal interactions, particularly in high-pressure situations.
George Thompson and Jerry Jenkins wrote a book called Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art Of Persuasion. So, I have taken several important strategies from the book and applied them to your life as a private school leader. Grab your free copy of “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/judo
TRANSCRIPT:
• Welcome to the Private School Leader podcast, where private school leaders learn how to thrive and not just survive as they serve and lead their schools. I strongly believe that it is possible to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. And my passion is to help you figure out exactly how to do just that right here on the Private School Leader podcast. • And I'm your host, Mark Minkus. • • • So recently I was thinking about the mid to late 90s • • and something that I would get typically • • as a stocking stuffer for Christmas. • • And • it would usually be a couple of magazines • • • and they would be year end magazines that would have top 10 lists in them. And so I remember getting People magazine and it was all about movies and the top songs and the top performers and entertainers and different things like that. And then usually a sports magazine kind of a year end, Sports Illustrated or, you know, that kind of thing and a lot of top 10 lists. And I love good top 10 lists. • • And then, you know, after we would open our presents and everyone's just kind of sitting around, then I'm sitting there flipping through those, uh, magazines and I really enjoyed it. And I know that magazines kind of aren't much of a thing anymore because most things are online, but top 10 lists are still a thing. • • And on this week's episode of the Private Schooler podcast, • we are going to count down the top 10 leadership nuggets of 2024. • • And I'm really excited to do this, • • • um, 52 episodes from 2024. And I went through and I picked out what I think are the top 10 nuggets for you as a private school leader, as you try to serve and lead your school. • And we're going to count them down today. • •
I'm here to help you make the second half of the school year better
But before we do that, I want to ask you a question. You know, if you're listening to this episode in real time, it's pretty close to the end of the, uh, calendar year. • And it's about the halfway point of your school year. And sometimes we reflect on the year that, um, has come to an end • and we get excited about the new calendar year, we get excited about the second half of the school year. And sometimes we decide, okay, • • it's going to be better. This is the year that I finally do blank. This is going, you know, the second half of the school year is going to be better than the first. And I know I didn't really take care of myself maybe that well or I stressed out too much about this or I wasn't really, you know, that present for my family. I didn't have as much left in the tank at the end of each school day as I would like. • • All of those things that are very, very common for private school leaders. • • • Well, I want to tell you that I'm here to help you make the second half of the school year better than the first. • • • And one way is I'd love to talk to you about one on one coaching • • and working with you • • and helping you with whatever your biggest problem is. • • And that's@the privatescgal.com coaching that you can learn more. And really what it's about is clicking on, um, a button to set up a free 20 minute Zoom call with me • and just talk about what's going on with you and see how I can possibly help. • • But another thing that I can do to help is something that's asynchronous that you can do at your own pace • • • on your, uh, phone, in your pajamas, • • um, on your couch, • • wherever you want to help be a huge game changer for you as a private school leader. And I'm talking about Thrive Academy and this is the online course that I created. • • And you can, like I said, it's asynchronous and you can just go in there and go through the modules and you've got your lessons, you've got • • um, your videos, you've got your workbook, uh, • • that you printed out and step by step, strategy by strategy, • everything that I've learned over the past 33 years as to how to help you be built to last and to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader, it's in Thrive Academy • • and I want you to be part of that and I want you to be part of the live office hours that go along with it with other leaders who are going through Thrive Academy at the same time. And so just go over to the privatesccler.com thrive, spend a few minutes there checking it out and you'll see what I'm talking about. I'd love to see you in office hours. • • • And then just real quick, I want to give you a free gift. • • Um, and that free gift is actually a PDF called how to use verbal judo to have better conversations with the parents at your school. • And if you've never heard of verbal judo, it's actually a communication strategy that focuses on using words to deesscalate conflict. • • And George Thompson and Jerry Jenkins wrote a book called Verbal Judo. And George Thompson has trained over 200,000 law enforcement officers all over America in the art of general persuasion with verbal judo. And so what I did was took that book • • and turned it into a guide as to how to use the principles of verbal judo to have better conversations with the parents at your school. So you can get that free guide over@the privatescchooladeer.com Judo • um, just another tool in your tool belt to help you to have better conversations with the parents at your school. And again, that's a free gift for you just to say thank you for listening to the podcast this year, the privatescglr.com • • judo all right, are you ready for the countdown? Because I know I am. I love countdowns. So what I'm going to do is give you the number, give you a phrase, give you the episode number, • • and then just talk about that point for just a couple of minutes. • • But in the show notes at the privatechoolade leader.com Episode 115, • • • I'm going to take good care of you as usual and I will list • the countdown. I will have a link to each episode so that it's right there for you. And, um, it's easy to just click and listen, um, if there's one that you missed or one that you want to revisit. But these • are the top 10 leadership nuggets of 2024.
John Maxwell talks about how as a leader, you are the lid on company growth
All right, • • • number 10, lift your lid • • from episode 86. • • • So this was a three episode series that I did during early summer of this year. • • • The book the 21 irrefutable laws of leadership by John Maxwell. • • And I took three, or excuse me, I took seven, um, of the laws and did three episodes, seven each episode. But in the very first episode, the very first law is the law of the lid. • • • And Maxwell talks about how as a leader, you are the lid on your company's growth. • • And so let's say that you're a 7 out of 10 as a leader. • Well, your company. And by company, you know, Maxwell uses the term company. But we're talking about your school. That your school is going to bump up against your leadership lid • • and can only ever achieve 70% of its potential if you are a 7 out of 10 leader. • • And so lifting your lid means for you to grow yourself • • • and to invest in personal leadership development, • • to • • • • • read books, to • listen to this podcast, to do all the things that you can do to • • grow as a leader. • And one of the things I failed to mention before, you know, if we're talking about growing, I mentioned coaching and I also mentioned Thrive Academy • • • M. Many of my Thrive Academy students and my coaching clients use Title II funds from their local public school to pay for that. • • And that's something I can help you with as well. Um, but, you know, since we're talking about lifting your lid and growing as a leader, um, • • I just, um, wanted to mention that title II funds are used can be used to pay for Thrive Academy and to pay for your, uh, coaching with me.
Have a pity party after an August apology from episode 93
Um, but number 10, episode 86 • from the 21 irrefutable laws of leadership is lift your lid. • • Okay. Number. Number nine. Number nine. • • • • • Have a pity party after an August apology from episode 93. Have a pity party after an August apology. • • • So • • around the end of July, I did an episode called, • • um, how to handle, • • uh, • • when a teacher what to do when a teacher, uh, quits in August. • • • • And I think of an August apology as when a teacher • • • texts you, calls you, appears in your office. You know, I'm thinking of one in particular where it was during in service, and it was the day before the first day of school, and my high school math teacher came in and said, um, sorry, I'm, I'm. I never thought I would do this. • Um, but u. Um, • you know, I got offered this job at the public school and I'm go going toa take it and I won't be here tomorrow. • • • Um, and so • • • we've all been there, we've all had that August apology. Some of you • also have had an October apology or a February apology, but it just seems like those August apologies hurt really bad. And it's also because the private or excuse me, the public schools, • • • they're often, I don't know about you, but where I live, it seems like they're just • • • hiring people • • like mid August, late August to fill positions. I'm not sure why they take all summer to do that. But you're all set. You've got your staff, and then boom, you know, you don't have your staffus someone's leaving. • • • • And so what I said in number nine here and I said in that episode 93 • • • • is the first thing to do is to have a pity party. • • • And I think it's important to just feel like, you know what? This sucks. This is stupid. This is dumb. I hate this. I hate this feeling. I hate that this happens so often. It feels like it happens every year and to just feel bad about it • and to kind of get that out of your system and • • maybe, you know, 24 hours max for that pity party, but I think it's important to have it. • But then once you've had that pity party and you get it out of your system is to just take massive action • • and the massive Action that you can take when a teacher resigns unexpectedly, • • um, is detailed for you in episode 93. • But number nine is have a pity party • • after an August apology.
Use the four S's to communicate better with your parents
All right, that brings us to number eight on our list of the top 10 leadership nuggets of 2024. And nugget number eight is to use the four S's • to have better conversations with your parents. • And that's episode 70. • • Use the four S's • • to communicate better with your parents. • • Now, the four S's in episode 70, • • I talked about the four S's of secure attachment. • • • That is come from a book by Daniel Siegel. And the book is called the Power of Showing Up. So you've probably heard of secure attachment. • • I'm not sure if you listened • to episode 70, • • • but the four S's are safe, • • seen, • • soothed, and secure. • • • • Again, the four S's are safe, Seen, soothed, and secure. • • And I use the four S's of secure attachment when I'm having a meeting with a parent that's really emotional • • and it's kind of been a game changer. • • Um, • and • I just wanted to pass that knowledge on to you. And so again, you can, uh, go back and check that out if you haven't listened or if you need a refresher. • And you can click on episode 70 in the show notes • to hear more about the four S's and how those can help you have better parent meetings.
Number seven leadership nugget is the surprising truth about what motivates teachers
All right, we're up to number seven in our countdown. And so the number seven leadership nugget of 2024 • • is the surprising truth about what actually motivates teachers. • • And this is episode 67. • And episode 67 was actually one of the most downloaded episodes of this year. The surprising truth about what actually motivates your teachers. • • • And I kind of, um, did some high level • • • • • • ideas, um, • • • from the Daniel Pink book Drive, one of the probably the best selling book about • motivation that's out there. • • • And • • again, his three big points about what motivates teachers are autonomy, • mastery, and purpose. So of course, autonomy, • there they are in your private school. And they want to have some autonomy with accountability. They don't want to be handcuffed to those, uh, state standard, • • um, tests that take place often in the private schools that are the drivers for what's being taught in the classroom. • • Um, maybe they want some autonomy in the way that they deliver their curriculum. • • But then also something that motivates teachers is mastery, that desire to be good at something, to be competent, to be excellent, and to continue to improve in that. And then third is purpose. • We Want to be connected to something that matters. We want to be part of something that's bigger than ourselves. • And of course, schools can check that box, but we have to keep reminding them of their purpose and their important role that they play in our schools. • • So leadership nugget number seven is the surprising truth about what actually motivates teachers • from episode 67. •
Use high leverage moments to be a more visible leader
All right, that brings us to number six • • • on our countdown of the top 10 leadership nuggets of 2024. • • And number six is to use high leverage moments to be a more visible leader. And that is episode 95. Use high leverage moments to be a more visible leader. And this was another episode 95 that was probably, I want to say, maybe the third most downloaded episode of the year. • • • Lots and lots of leaders of our private schools, lots of listeners to this podcast, • want to be more visible. • And when I sit down and talk to, um, coaching clients • • and I ask them a question, I ask most of my clients the same question. • • What is it? If I. How do you finish this sentence? I really wish I had more time to blank • • • • or it's been a long time since I was able to blank consistently. • • And I would say about 80% say I wish I was out in the school. More or more specifically, I wish I was in the classrooms more often. • • • And so we're going to. We want to be visible leaders. That helps us to be credible. There's so many positives that go along with that. All of that, you know, is listed there for you in episode 95. • • • But I talked about high leverage moments. • • And so a little goes a long way when you are visible during the most high traffic, high leverage moments of your school day. • But you have to schedule them into your day or else they're just going to be good intentions. So I'm going to list a few. And I'm not saying you need to be at all of these things, but if you're feeling like you're not visible and you're trapped in your office, • • • scheduling a few of these a few times a week can make a huge difference. • • So recess lunch. For me, those are non negotiables that recessed lunch, block vibing with the kids, hanging out with the kids, interacting with the teachers, • • • very, um, • • visible. But it also fills me up. • • Um, car line, either arrival or dismissal, • • • • class changes, • • um, especially in middle school and high school, those class changes, you know that two or three minutes of those informal interactions, • highly visible for the students and for your teachers. And then many of you lead a religious school and there's a religious service once A week mass or chapel or there might even be religious services each day where different larger groups are coming together and you can be visible by being there. So • • leadership nugget number six is to use high leverage moments to be a more visible leader. All right, we're into the top five. •
Solve the paradox of what parents want grace and revenge from episode 108
And so leadership nugget number five on our countdown is • • • solve the paradox of what parents want grace and revenge from episode 108. • • • So a paradox is two things that don't really go together • that are together. • • And in this episode 108, I said that grace and revenge is something that parents want • • if it's their child that is • • making the mistake • or doing the misbehavior. They want the school to show grace and understanding and work with their child and work with the family. But if something happens to their child, • • they want the school to • • • lower the boom, • throw the book at the kid. • • They want revenge. They want scorched earth, • • • and they want both things. Both things. They want grace for their kid and revenge on the other kids. • • • • • And so this paradox can become very difficult for • private school leaders because we're in that intersection. And sometimes when you're in intersections, you're getting run over in all directions. • • • And so in that episode • • • 108, • • • • probably a big takeaway • • for how to solve this is that your student handbook, your family handbook, is your best friend. • • • • • You have to have a clearly stated discipline policy, and then you have to be incredibly consistent with • • following through, • • • because • • if you're following through when their child • • is doing something wrong, • • • • even if they're begging for grace, • • • • • • • you can then also follow through • • • exactly what the handbook says. • When someone is doing something to their child • • • that won't take their emotions out of it, that won't take their unreasonable requests out of play, • but it will • • • allow you to eventually earn respect, • • • • certainly of your teachers and sometimes eventually from the parents, • • because of your consistency. • • • • And so, rather than riding that wave of emotion of grace and revenge from the same parent, • • • it's better to have your feet on solid ground • • with your handbook and your consistent enforcement of those consequences. • • So leadership nugget number five, • • solve the paradox of what parents want grace and revenge from episode 108. • •
Your email inbox is a chronological list of everyone else's priorities
All right, that brings us to leadership nugget number four. • • • And • • • • it is. Your email inbox is a chronological list of everyone else's priorities. • • • • • Your email inbox is a chronological list of everyone else's priorities. • • • And this is episode 100. • • • • • • • And so in the hundredth episode of the podcast, I put out there one of my most, • I think, favorite and most important quotes • • Because I would say about 90% of school leaders, • • • um, based on my conversations with my coaching clients, with Thrive Academy students in office hours • and just with email, • uh, interactions • • • • • • • that about 90% of school leaders are dipping in and out of their email inbox all day long. And sometimes that starts when you're still in bed and you're on your smartphone and then it continues into the evening. • We'll talk about that a little bit more in a minute. • • • • • But your email inbox • • • • is a chronological list of everyone else's priorities. I want that to sink in • because • • you are adopting everyone else's definition of urgent. If you are just dipping in and out of your email inbox all day long. And here's the other thing, • • you're falling into the false productivity trap. • • • Um, and what that means is, is that you're out and about in the school and you come back and you sit down • • and you know, think about it. There's some decision fatigue, there's some physical fatigue. You've expended emotional energy, • • um, • • • • you've, um, some cognitive load. Okay? And your brain is screaming for a dopamine hit. • • And so you're going to probably do what about 90 to 95% of school leaders do in that situation. • • And that's'going to open up email and start responding to a few emails. And that's about the worst thing that you can do from a productivity standpoint • • • because • • your brain doesn't know the difference between a high value task and a low value task. • • • • And so you are going to get that dopamine hit. • • • And we actually get addicted to our email inbox. • • • And so we want to • • first of all pause • • and remember • • that • • we need to decide what is important • • • • • and to • • • • • • write that down. And you know, in module two of Thrive Academy, I lay all this out about how this all works together with the index card and with the, • • um, creating friction between you and your email inbox. And you know, the way that this can all work for you. • • • • • • • • • But • • • the first and most important thing is for you to recognize • • • that you're either working on everyone else's priorities and then you start working on yours when the school gets quiet • • and the teachers and the kids leave for the day. • • • • • Or • • • you can try to create some margin in your day • • • • • by best practice for time management and productivity • • • • and migrate some of those tasks into your workday • so that you're not always working on your stuff • • after everybody leaves for the day and then you're taking it home with you. • • • • • •
Be proactive about the rise of deepfake content and NCII
All right? We are in the top three of our leadership nuggets • • • of 2024. And number three • • is be proactive about the rise of deepfake content • and NCII, which stands for non consensual intimate imagery • • • • • episode 112. The day that that episode dropped was the most downloads in one day in the history of the podcast. • • • • So that means that we have leaders that are concerned about deepfake content and ncii, and we should be. • • • • • It's in the public schools, • • it's • • making its way into some of the private schools. • • • Um, • the headlines, • • • they're terrifying. • • • • And • • • rather than be scared • • • and • • • completely • • • • • ill equipped • • to prevent or respond • • • to this if it happens at your school, • • we're going to do what we always do on the podcast and we're going to get proactive. • • • • • And so • the best thing that I would say to do • • • • • • • is to Listen to episode 112, • • • but also to go to • • the privatecglr.com episode 112 for the show notes, • • • because • • those are probably the most robust show notes of any podcast episode from this year • • with regards to resources. • • • And so the resources are there. • • • And the other big thing that I would say is to educate yourself, • • • then educate your teachers and staff, • • educate your students and educate your parents. • • That's where it begins. You have to educate yourself first. • • • And so we're not going to • • • • just shake in fear and do nothing and stick our head in the sand. • • We are going to • get proactive. We're going to learn • • about deepfake content and non consensual intimate imagery and then we're going to take action. • • • And so the place to start • is the show notes for episode 112 and • • • to listen to episode 112 for the first time or go back and listen to it again. Like I said, the most downloaded episode this year. • • • • So we, we're thinking about it, we're worried about it. Let, um, let's try and take some steps to • uh, build in some proactive, • uh, policies • and a plan for how to respond if, God forbid, it does happen at your school. • • All right?
Number one is if you only read one book this summer, read this one
And then that's going to bring us to our top two leadership nuggets of 2024. • And number two is if you only read one book this summer, read this one. Episode 85. • • • • And • in late May, early June, I did an episode • • • • • and I was trying to encourage you that if you were going to read one book during the summer, • • that it would be Hopes and Fears by Rob Evans and Michael Thompson. • • This is a book published by nis. • • • I will link it in the show notes for today's episode • • • where you will have links to all of these episodes in the top 10. • • But • • the link to this book will be directly to the n'website that's the least expensive place where you can buy it. I think it's around $35. • • • And I strongly believe that every private school leader in the world • • should have a copy of this book • • • • on their desk • • • and they should probably read it once a year. • • And it's an easy read. It's not a, it's not War in Peace. Okay. It's not all the • um, • you know, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, this is about 150 pages. • • But it is full of wisdom. • • You know, Rob Evans and Michael Thompson, not only are they former, • • • • uh, private school leaders themselves, but they are • • psychologists, • • um, they are parents of private school um, • • students and grandparents. • • And they attended • uh, independent schools themselves. And so they are the most, I feel like incredibly informed. They've been doing consulting for • • • • decades. And so from a, uh, understanding why parents act the way that they do • • • and also giving strategies for how to work with the uh, 95% of parents that are workable or good or even great, • and then giving advanced strategies for how to deal with the 5 percenters, • • • • • • • • • • this book • • • is the book • on • • how to effectively build relationships with parents at your school. So leadership nugget number two, hopefully I've made my point. If you only read one book • this summer or this year or this winter break or in 2025, read hopes and Fears and it'll be linked in the show notes. • •
Stop inviting parents into your home after 7pm episode 75
And then that brings us to number one. • Our number one leadership nugget of 2024 • • • is stop inviting parents into your home • • after 7pm • • • • • Stop inviting parents into your home after 7pm episode 75. • • • • • • • So • • • • you're on your couch, • • • • it's 7:15pm, you're in your sweats, • • • • • you just finished dinner. • And maybe you're watching sports, • • you're watching something on Netflix, • • • • but you've got your smartphone next to you • • • and you tap your • • • • smartphone, • • • • • you m • tap your app for your • • school email • • • • and there it is in your inbox, • • • an email from that parent. • • • And it's got some exclamation points and maybe even some capital letters in the subject line. • • • • • • • • And what happens is that you just invited that parent into your home • to sit next to you on the couch • • • • • • at 7:15pm • • • • and we need to stop inviting parents into our home. • • • And I know that some of you, • • some of us are actually addicted to checking email • • • • in the evenings and then it ruins our evening from time to time. • • • • But we're going to do a Couple of things. Number one, we're going to turn off • • • email notifications • • • • • • • and I cannot state that more strongly as to how important it is for you to turn off notifications for your school email. • • • • • • • • And then number two, what we're going to do is we're going to create more friction between you and your email inbox while you build up the self discipline • • • to not check email as often in the evening. • • • • Because here's the other thing. I can hear what you're saying. You're like, yeah, but what if someone needs me? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Here's the thing. • • If there's something that is of the level of importance and urgency that they need you after 7pm • • • • they are going to text you or call you on your cell phone. They are not going to email you, whoever they is, whether it's a board member or if you're a division head, it's your head of school or if you're head of school, it's your director of maintenance or your athletic director because of something that happened on the way home from the basketball game on the bus. Whatever it is, • • • • it's kind of a self sorting thing for urgency and importance is whether or not they call or text you or if it's going into an email that you can check • • the next morning. • • • • • • And the last thing is that whole creating friction. • • • See, most of us, we don't even really realize that we're doing it, that we're checking email so often • • • it's become a reflex. • • And your thumb knows, • • just it goes and knows and it goes to that spot • • • • on your home screen without even you thinking about it. • • • • • And what I have my coaching clients do is to move their icon to swipes, • • • • • • • move it off that home screen, move it to swipes. • • • • Almost without exception, when one of my coaching clients moves their email icon, two swipes • • that they report that it's within a week, two weeks max, • • that they're checking email 80% less often outside of school. • • • • We have to create friction between ourselves and our email inbox. • • • • • • • You know, my wife, she recently bought Oreos • • • and I love Oreos. And I'm like, why did you buy Oreos? And she's like, because you like Oreos. I'm like, well that's the problem. I don't want to eat a bunch of Oreos • • because what I would do is I'JUST uh, • • walk through the kitchen and grab three Oreos and just keep going. • • • • • But we recently cleaned out our Tupperware container or Tupperware cupboard. • • And so what I did was I put it in the Tupperware cupboard • • • • • • • and then I would have that pause • • • and think. • • • • And then what I was able to do is only eat three Oreos a day until the big party size Oreo package that my wife bought was gone. • Instead of eating three every time I walk through the room. • • • • That's what you're doing when you move your • • icon. • • • • • • • • I think you should try it • • • and just see what happens. It's a big deal. • • •
Our Leadership Nuggets Countdown of 2024 includes 10 leadership nuggets
And so the number one • • leadership nugget • • • • of 2024 is to stop inviting parents into your home after 7pm from episode 75. I just scratched the surface. Go back and check out episode 75 for all the details. • • So let's run them down again. I love countdowns, you know that. Number 10 lift your lid from episode 86. Number 9 have a pity party after an August apology in episode 93. • Number eight use the four S's to communicate with your to have better communication with your parents from episode 70. • • • Number seven the surprising truth about what actually motivates your teachers from episode 67. Number six use high leverage moments to be a more visible leader from episode 95 • • • in our countdown. • Number five is solve the paradox of what parents want. Grace and revenge from episode 108. • • • Number four, your email inbox is a chronological list of everyone else's priorities, episode 100. • And number three • • • be proactive about the rise of deepfake content and non consensual intimate imagery from episode 112. • • Number two if you only read one book, read this one from episode 85. Of course I'm referring to hopes and fears. And then number one on our Leadership Nuggets Countdown of 2024 is to stop inviting parents into your home after 7pm • • • from episode 75. • • • • And I like to • • • have a call to action with every episode • • • • since it was the number one leadership nugget. • • • I am challenging you and asking you • • to move the icon for your • • school email. • Two swipes • • • • and then in two weeks • • I want you to send me an email at mark0.mincusmail.com • • and tell me how it's going. • • So you're going to move your email icon, • • • • two swipes on your smartphone • • and then two weeks from now you're going to email me@uh, • • marko.mincusmail.com and tell me how it's going. • • •
7 Strategies to effectively deal with difficult teachers is free on Thrive Academy
And I want to give you another free gift as we wrap up this calendar year. • • It's called seven Strategies to effectively deal with difficult Teachers. Maybe as you're thinking back on the school year and thinking ahead • after winter break, you're like oof, I gotta. • • I got to deal with that teacher. Okay, well here's a plan. What you need is a plan. And if you go to the privatescooler.com difficult you can grab this free guide that will give you a step by step plan that you can use to help one of your difficult teachers improve their performance and improve their attitude. So I want to give you that for free. • Free gift. 7 strategies to effectively deal with difficult teachers. • • • Go over to the privateschoolleader.com/difficult • • • and then another reminder that I want to help you • • • • have a better second half to your school year. I want to help you be built to last. I want to help you • • • to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. And so I want you to decide, • • • • • go to check out Thrive Academy or go to check out coaching because that's how I can help you. • • • So you're checking out the privateschoolia.com m thrive • • or you're checking out the privatescchoolia.com coaching. • • And I would love to help you • • • have • a better second half to your school year that will set you up to have a better year next year and the year after that. • • • • And I told you a few times, but because there was so much in this episode, I'll mention it one more times.
Mark Minkus: This is Episode 115 of the Private School Leader podcast
Show notes privategal.com Episode 115 • • • and then also, I would just really appreciate it if you would share this list. This, um, excuse me, this episode specifically, I think could be a really, really good episode to share with another leader at your school. • Another leader that you met at a conference, that aspiring leader that you have your eye on at school that you can see them as a rising star. • • Share this episode with them because it's going to give them access to the top 10 leadership nuggets from this year • • • • • • and then they can access all of this information. We want to spread this encouragement and uh, this knowledge so that we can • better serve our schools and better serve those kids and those teachers. • • • • And I just appreciate you so much. Um, I'm your, I've been your host, Mark Minkus. • • I am so • • • privileged to be able to share each week with you when we have these podcast episodes. And I'm so grateful for you taking some time out of your busy week to join me here on the podcast • • • and thank you for listening and I will see you next time right here on the Private School Leader podcast. Until then, always remember to serve first, lead second, and make a difference.
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By Mark Minkus
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Back in the mid to late 90’s, I would get two stocking stuffers that I really liked. In my Christmas stocking, I would receive the special, year end editions of Sports Illustrated and People magazine.
These special editions would be full of Top 10 lists from the best movies, pop songs and TV shows to the best athletes, teams and biggest comebacks from that particular year. I know that magazines are quickly becoming a thing of the past, but I love Top 10 lists so much that I hope that they live on forever.
At the end of each year, I like to go back through the last 52 episodes and look for the best strategies, time management hacks, quotes and leadership advice. I have made my selections and on this week’s episode of The Private School Leader Podcast, I am going to share The Top 10 Leadership Nuggets Of 2024!
As the year comes to a close, I just want to take a moment and express my sincere gratitude and admiration to you for all of your hard work this year. You sacrifice so much as you pour yourself into the kids and teachers at your school. Thank you for serving them all year long.
I also want to say thank you for listening to the podcast and for sharing the link with other leaders in your life and rising leaders at your school. You inspire me to keep making weekly episodes and I am excited to continue to serve you in 2025.
I would LOVE to hear from you. Email me ([email protected]) and let me know your biggest takeaway from the podcast this year and also tell me your biggest struggle in 2024. It can literally be just a few words, but your feedback means so much and maybe I will turn your pain point into an upcoming episode!
Thanks again for all you do. I will be praying for you, your family and your school to have a safe, prosperous and Happy New Year!
Mark Minkus
What is your biggest problem right now? I want to hear more about your biggest problem and I want to help you solve it.
Whether your problem is feeling guilty that your family gets what’s left of you at the end of the day, relentless parents, difficult teachers, a lack of boundaries between work and school, feeling overwhelmed, Imposter Syndrome, enrollment or teacher morale, I can help.
I would love to hear more about your biggest problem and I would love to be your coach. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/coaching to learn more about working with me 1-on-1.
Being a private school leader is a VERY difficult job. You have to make hundreds of decisions every day, and you have to keep everyone safe, increase enrollment, keep the parents happy, keep the board happy, motivate the teachers, deal with student discipline, beat last year’s test scores and come in under budget.
That can lead to you feeling tired, discouraged and stressed out. I’ve been there. That’s why I created THRIVE Academy just for you. THRIVE Academy is a digital course that will help you get out of survival mode and get back to feeling energized at school. To learn more, go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/thrive
I am excited to share with you a new resource and I want to give this to you as a FREE GIFT to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. It is called The 7 Secrets To Improving Teacher Morale. As private school leaders, we are always looking for ways to improve teacher morale at our schools, but it is hard to know where to start. Well, now you have a step by step plan and you can grab it at theprivateschoolleader.com/morale
I want to give you a FREE gift called 7 Strategies To Effectively Deal With Difficult Teachers. Sometimes we need some courage and confidence to deal with difficult teachers. What you need is a plan! This guide is a step by step plan that you can use to help one of your difficult teachers improve their performance and improve their attitude. Go to theprivateschoolleader.com/difficult to grab this free guide!
I want to say thank you for listening to the podcast by giving you a FREE GIFT. It is called The 7 Steps To Having A Successful Meeting With An Upset Parent. This guide is an 11 page pdf that gives you a step by step plan to have better meetings with the parents at your school. Every good coach has a game plan. Every good teacher has a lesson plan. Too many private school leaders don’t have a plan when they sit down to meet with an upset parent. Well, now you have a PLAN! You can grab this FREE GUIDE at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/meeting
I’ve created a free resource for you called “The 6 Things That Every Private School Teacher Wants From Their Leader”. This guide is a 6 page pdf that will be a game changer for you. I guarantee you that if you do these 6 things, the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. You can pick up your free guide by going to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/guide
I want to give you a gift to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. I have created a FREE guide for you called “5 Strategies To Help You Work With Difficult Parents”. We know that working with parents is part of the job and most of our parents are great, but some of them can be very demanding and emotional and difficult. This guide will give you the tools that you need to build better relationships and have better meetings with the difficult parents at your school. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/parents to grab the guide. Thank you again for listening every week!
Please check out all of the free resources on my website that can help you serve and lead your school community. There are "Plug & Play PD's" (45 minute webinars with guided notes) as well as Top 10 Lists of Leadership Books, Productivity Books and TED Talks over at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/resources. You can grab the show notes for today's episode at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/episode115
Please write a review of this podcast and help the algorithm push this content out to more leaders. I would love to get your feedback about the podcast, ideas for future episodes and hear about how you are implementing these strategies in your life and at your school. You can email me at [email protected] Thanks!!
I’ve created a FREE RESOURCE for you called “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. This is a 10 page pdf that will help you to keep your staff and students safe and help keep your school out of court. Litigation is expensive, time consuming and extremely stressful. This common sense guide will help you to be more intentional and proactive when it comes to protecting your school. You can grab “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/lawsuit. Thanks!
I am excited to share a brand new resource with you. It is a 9 page pdf called: “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” What is “Verbal Judo”? "Verbal Judo" is a communication strategy that focuses on using words effectively to de-escalate conflict, resolve disputes, and achieve positive outcomes in various interpersonal interactions, particularly in high-pressure situations.
George Thompson and Jerry Jenkins wrote a book called Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art Of Persuasion. So, I have taken several important strategies from the book and applied them to your life as a private school leader. Grab your free copy of “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/judo
TRANSCRIPT:
• Welcome to the Private School Leader podcast, where private school leaders learn how to thrive and not just survive as they serve and lead their schools. I strongly believe that it is possible to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. And my passion is to help you figure out exactly how to do just that right here on the Private School Leader podcast. • And I'm your host, Mark Minkus. • • • So recently I was thinking about the mid to late 90s • • and something that I would get typically • • as a stocking stuffer for Christmas. • • And • it would usually be a couple of magazines • • • and they would be year end magazines that would have top 10 lists in them. And so I remember getting People magazine and it was all about movies and the top songs and the top performers and entertainers and different things like that. And then usually a sports magazine kind of a year end, Sports Illustrated or, you know, that kind of thing and a lot of top 10 lists. And I love good top 10 lists. • • And then, you know, after we would open our presents and everyone's just kind of sitting around, then I'm sitting there flipping through those, uh, magazines and I really enjoyed it. And I know that magazines kind of aren't much of a thing anymore because most things are online, but top 10 lists are still a thing. • • And on this week's episode of the Private Schooler podcast, • we are going to count down the top 10 leadership nuggets of 2024. • • And I'm really excited to do this, • • • um, 52 episodes from 2024. And I went through and I picked out what I think are the top 10 nuggets for you as a private school leader, as you try to serve and lead your school. • And we're going to count them down today. • •
I'm here to help you make the second half of the school year better
But before we do that, I want to ask you a question. You know, if you're listening to this episode in real time, it's pretty close to the end of the, uh, calendar year. • And it's about the halfway point of your school year. And sometimes we reflect on the year that, um, has come to an end • and we get excited about the new calendar year, we get excited about the second half of the school year. And sometimes we decide, okay, • • it's going to be better. This is the year that I finally do blank. This is going, you know, the second half of the school year is going to be better than the first. And I know I didn't really take care of myself maybe that well or I stressed out too much about this or I wasn't really, you know, that present for my family. I didn't have as much left in the tank at the end of each school day as I would like. • • All of those things that are very, very common for private school leaders. • • • Well, I want to tell you that I'm here to help you make the second half of the school year better than the first. • • • And one way is I'd love to talk to you about one on one coaching • • and working with you • • and helping you with whatever your biggest problem is. • • And that's@the privatescgal.com coaching that you can learn more. And really what it's about is clicking on, um, a button to set up a free 20 minute Zoom call with me • and just talk about what's going on with you and see how I can possibly help. • • But another thing that I can do to help is something that's asynchronous that you can do at your own pace • • • on your, uh, phone, in your pajamas, • • um, on your couch, • • wherever you want to help be a huge game changer for you as a private school leader. And I'm talking about Thrive Academy and this is the online course that I created. • • And you can, like I said, it's asynchronous and you can just go in there and go through the modules and you've got your lessons, you've got • • um, your videos, you've got your workbook, uh, • • that you printed out and step by step, strategy by strategy, • everything that I've learned over the past 33 years as to how to help you be built to last and to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader, it's in Thrive Academy • • and I want you to be part of that and I want you to be part of the live office hours that go along with it with other leaders who are going through Thrive Academy at the same time. And so just go over to the privatesccler.com thrive, spend a few minutes there checking it out and you'll see what I'm talking about. I'd love to see you in office hours. • • • And then just real quick, I want to give you a free gift. • • Um, and that free gift is actually a PDF called how to use verbal judo to have better conversations with the parents at your school. • And if you've never heard of verbal judo, it's actually a communication strategy that focuses on using words to deesscalate conflict. • • And George Thompson and Jerry Jenkins wrote a book called Verbal Judo. And George Thompson has trained over 200,000 law enforcement officers all over America in the art of general persuasion with verbal judo. And so what I did was took that book • • and turned it into a guide as to how to use the principles of verbal judo to have better conversations with the parents at your school. So you can get that free guide over@the privatescchooladeer.com Judo • um, just another tool in your tool belt to help you to have better conversations with the parents at your school. And again, that's a free gift for you just to say thank you for listening to the podcast this year, the privatescglr.com • • judo all right, are you ready for the countdown? Because I know I am. I love countdowns. So what I'm going to do is give you the number, give you a phrase, give you the episode number, • • and then just talk about that point for just a couple of minutes. • • But in the show notes at the privatechoolade leader.com Episode 115, • • • I'm going to take good care of you as usual and I will list • the countdown. I will have a link to each episode so that it's right there for you. And, um, it's easy to just click and listen, um, if there's one that you missed or one that you want to revisit. But these • are the top 10 leadership nuggets of 2024.
John Maxwell talks about how as a leader, you are the lid on company growth
All right, • • • number 10, lift your lid • • from episode 86. • • • So this was a three episode series that I did during early summer of this year. • • • The book the 21 irrefutable laws of leadership by John Maxwell. • • And I took three, or excuse me, I took seven, um, of the laws and did three episodes, seven each episode. But in the very first episode, the very first law is the law of the lid. • • • And Maxwell talks about how as a leader, you are the lid on your company's growth. • • And so let's say that you're a 7 out of 10 as a leader. • Well, your company. And by company, you know, Maxwell uses the term company. But we're talking about your school. That your school is going to bump up against your leadership lid • • and can only ever achieve 70% of its potential if you are a 7 out of 10 leader. • • And so lifting your lid means for you to grow yourself • • • and to invest in personal leadership development, • • to • • • • • read books, to • listen to this podcast, to do all the things that you can do to • • grow as a leader. • And one of the things I failed to mention before, you know, if we're talking about growing, I mentioned coaching and I also mentioned Thrive Academy • • • M. Many of my Thrive Academy students and my coaching clients use Title II funds from their local public school to pay for that. • • And that's something I can help you with as well. Um, but, you know, since we're talking about lifting your lid and growing as a leader, um, • • I just, um, wanted to mention that title II funds are used can be used to pay for Thrive Academy and to pay for your, uh, coaching with me.
Have a pity party after an August apology from episode 93
Um, but number 10, episode 86 • from the 21 irrefutable laws of leadership is lift your lid. • • Okay. Number. Number nine. Number nine. • • • • • Have a pity party after an August apology from episode 93. Have a pity party after an August apology. • • • So • • around the end of July, I did an episode called, • • um, how to handle, • • uh, • • when a teacher what to do when a teacher, uh, quits in August. • • • • And I think of an August apology as when a teacher • • • texts you, calls you, appears in your office. You know, I'm thinking of one in particular where it was during in service, and it was the day before the first day of school, and my high school math teacher came in and said, um, sorry, I'm, I'm. I never thought I would do this. • Um, but u. Um, • you know, I got offered this job at the public school and I'm go going toa take it and I won't be here tomorrow. • • • Um, and so • • • we've all been there, we've all had that August apology. Some of you • also have had an October apology or a February apology, but it just seems like those August apologies hurt really bad. And it's also because the private or excuse me, the public schools, • • • they're often, I don't know about you, but where I live, it seems like they're just • • • hiring people • • like mid August, late August to fill positions. I'm not sure why they take all summer to do that. But you're all set. You've got your staff, and then boom, you know, you don't have your staffus someone's leaving. • • • • And so what I said in number nine here and I said in that episode 93 • • • • is the first thing to do is to have a pity party. • • • And I think it's important to just feel like, you know what? This sucks. This is stupid. This is dumb. I hate this. I hate this feeling. I hate that this happens so often. It feels like it happens every year and to just feel bad about it • and to kind of get that out of your system and • • maybe, you know, 24 hours max for that pity party, but I think it's important to have it. • But then once you've had that pity party and you get it out of your system is to just take massive action • • and the massive Action that you can take when a teacher resigns unexpectedly, • • um, is detailed for you in episode 93. • But number nine is have a pity party • • after an August apology.
Use the four S's to communicate better with your parents
All right, that brings us to number eight on our list of the top 10 leadership nuggets of 2024. And nugget number eight is to use the four S's • to have better conversations with your parents. • And that's episode 70. • • Use the four S's • • to communicate better with your parents. • • Now, the four S's in episode 70, • • I talked about the four S's of secure attachment. • • • That is come from a book by Daniel Siegel. And the book is called the Power of Showing Up. So you've probably heard of secure attachment. • • I'm not sure if you listened • to episode 70, • • • but the four S's are safe, • • seen, • • soothed, and secure. • • • • Again, the four S's are safe, Seen, soothed, and secure. • • And I use the four S's of secure attachment when I'm having a meeting with a parent that's really emotional • • and it's kind of been a game changer. • • Um, • and • I just wanted to pass that knowledge on to you. And so again, you can, uh, go back and check that out if you haven't listened or if you need a refresher. • And you can click on episode 70 in the show notes • to hear more about the four S's and how those can help you have better parent meetings.
Number seven leadership nugget is the surprising truth about what motivates teachers
All right, we're up to number seven in our countdown. And so the number seven leadership nugget of 2024 • • is the surprising truth about what actually motivates teachers. • • And this is episode 67. • And episode 67 was actually one of the most downloaded episodes of this year. The surprising truth about what actually motivates your teachers. • • • And I kind of, um, did some high level • • • • • • ideas, um, • • • from the Daniel Pink book Drive, one of the probably the best selling book about • motivation that's out there. • • • And • • again, his three big points about what motivates teachers are autonomy, • mastery, and purpose. So of course, autonomy, • there they are in your private school. And they want to have some autonomy with accountability. They don't want to be handcuffed to those, uh, state standard, • • um, tests that take place often in the private schools that are the drivers for what's being taught in the classroom. • • Um, maybe they want some autonomy in the way that they deliver their curriculum. • • But then also something that motivates teachers is mastery, that desire to be good at something, to be competent, to be excellent, and to continue to improve in that. And then third is purpose. • We Want to be connected to something that matters. We want to be part of something that's bigger than ourselves. • And of course, schools can check that box, but we have to keep reminding them of their purpose and their important role that they play in our schools. • • So leadership nugget number seven is the surprising truth about what actually motivates teachers • from episode 67. •
Use high leverage moments to be a more visible leader
All right, that brings us to number six • • • on our countdown of the top 10 leadership nuggets of 2024. • • And number six is to use high leverage moments to be a more visible leader. And that is episode 95. Use high leverage moments to be a more visible leader. And this was another episode 95 that was probably, I want to say, maybe the third most downloaded episode of the year. • • • Lots and lots of leaders of our private schools, lots of listeners to this podcast, • want to be more visible. • And when I sit down and talk to, um, coaching clients • • and I ask them a question, I ask most of my clients the same question. • • What is it? If I. How do you finish this sentence? I really wish I had more time to blank • • • • or it's been a long time since I was able to blank consistently. • • And I would say about 80% say I wish I was out in the school. More or more specifically, I wish I was in the classrooms more often. • • • And so we're going to. We want to be visible leaders. That helps us to be credible. There's so many positives that go along with that. All of that, you know, is listed there for you in episode 95. • • • But I talked about high leverage moments. • • And so a little goes a long way when you are visible during the most high traffic, high leverage moments of your school day. • But you have to schedule them into your day or else they're just going to be good intentions. So I'm going to list a few. And I'm not saying you need to be at all of these things, but if you're feeling like you're not visible and you're trapped in your office, • • • scheduling a few of these a few times a week can make a huge difference. • • So recess lunch. For me, those are non negotiables that recessed lunch, block vibing with the kids, hanging out with the kids, interacting with the teachers, • • • very, um, • • visible. But it also fills me up. • • Um, car line, either arrival or dismissal, • • • • class changes, • • um, especially in middle school and high school, those class changes, you know that two or three minutes of those informal interactions, • highly visible for the students and for your teachers. And then many of you lead a religious school and there's a religious service once A week mass or chapel or there might even be religious services each day where different larger groups are coming together and you can be visible by being there. So • • leadership nugget number six is to use high leverage moments to be a more visible leader. All right, we're into the top five. •
Solve the paradox of what parents want grace and revenge from episode 108
And so leadership nugget number five on our countdown is • • • solve the paradox of what parents want grace and revenge from episode 108. • • • So a paradox is two things that don't really go together • that are together. • • And in this episode 108, I said that grace and revenge is something that parents want • • if it's their child that is • • making the mistake • or doing the misbehavior. They want the school to show grace and understanding and work with their child and work with the family. But if something happens to their child, • • they want the school to • • • lower the boom, • throw the book at the kid. • • They want revenge. They want scorched earth, • • • and they want both things. Both things. They want grace for their kid and revenge on the other kids. • • • • • And so this paradox can become very difficult for • private school leaders because we're in that intersection. And sometimes when you're in intersections, you're getting run over in all directions. • • • And so in that episode • • • 108, • • • • probably a big takeaway • • for how to solve this is that your student handbook, your family handbook, is your best friend. • • • • • You have to have a clearly stated discipline policy, and then you have to be incredibly consistent with • • following through, • • • because • • if you're following through when their child • • is doing something wrong, • • • • even if they're begging for grace, • • • • • • • you can then also follow through • • • exactly what the handbook says. • When someone is doing something to their child • • • that won't take their emotions out of it, that won't take their unreasonable requests out of play, • but it will • • • allow you to eventually earn respect, • • • • certainly of your teachers and sometimes eventually from the parents, • • because of your consistency. • • • • And so, rather than riding that wave of emotion of grace and revenge from the same parent, • • • it's better to have your feet on solid ground • • with your handbook and your consistent enforcement of those consequences. • • So leadership nugget number five, • • solve the paradox of what parents want grace and revenge from episode 108. • •
Your email inbox is a chronological list of everyone else's priorities
All right, that brings us to leadership nugget number four. • • • And • • • • it is. Your email inbox is a chronological list of everyone else's priorities. • • • • • Your email inbox is a chronological list of everyone else's priorities. • • • And this is episode 100. • • • • • • • And so in the hundredth episode of the podcast, I put out there one of my most, • I think, favorite and most important quotes • • Because I would say about 90% of school leaders, • • • um, based on my conversations with my coaching clients, with Thrive Academy students in office hours • and just with email, • uh, interactions • • • • • • • that about 90% of school leaders are dipping in and out of their email inbox all day long. And sometimes that starts when you're still in bed and you're on your smartphone and then it continues into the evening. • We'll talk about that a little bit more in a minute. • • • • • But your email inbox • • • • is a chronological list of everyone else's priorities. I want that to sink in • because • • you are adopting everyone else's definition of urgent. If you are just dipping in and out of your email inbox all day long. And here's the other thing, • • you're falling into the false productivity trap. • • • Um, and what that means is, is that you're out and about in the school and you come back and you sit down • • and you know, think about it. There's some decision fatigue, there's some physical fatigue. You've expended emotional energy, • • um, • • • • you've, um, some cognitive load. Okay? And your brain is screaming for a dopamine hit. • • And so you're going to probably do what about 90 to 95% of school leaders do in that situation. • • And that's'going to open up email and start responding to a few emails. And that's about the worst thing that you can do from a productivity standpoint • • • because • • your brain doesn't know the difference between a high value task and a low value task. • • • • And so you are going to get that dopamine hit. • • • And we actually get addicted to our email inbox. • • • And so we want to • • first of all pause • • and remember • • that • • we need to decide what is important • • • • • and to • • • • • • write that down. And you know, in module two of Thrive Academy, I lay all this out about how this all works together with the index card and with the, • • um, creating friction between you and your email inbox. And you know, the way that this can all work for you. • • • • • • • • • But • • • the first and most important thing is for you to recognize • • • that you're either working on everyone else's priorities and then you start working on yours when the school gets quiet • • and the teachers and the kids leave for the day. • • • • • Or • • • you can try to create some margin in your day • • • • • by best practice for time management and productivity • • • • and migrate some of those tasks into your workday • so that you're not always working on your stuff • • after everybody leaves for the day and then you're taking it home with you. • • • • • •
Be proactive about the rise of deepfake content and NCII
All right? We are in the top three of our leadership nuggets • • • of 2024. And number three • • is be proactive about the rise of deepfake content • and NCII, which stands for non consensual intimate imagery • • • • • episode 112. The day that that episode dropped was the most downloads in one day in the history of the podcast. • • • • So that means that we have leaders that are concerned about deepfake content and ncii, and we should be. • • • • • It's in the public schools, • • it's • • making its way into some of the private schools. • • • Um, • the headlines, • • • they're terrifying. • • • • And • • • rather than be scared • • • and • • • completely • • • • • ill equipped • • to prevent or respond • • • to this if it happens at your school, • • we're going to do what we always do on the podcast and we're going to get proactive. • • • • • And so • the best thing that I would say to do • • • • • • • is to Listen to episode 112, • • • but also to go to • • the privatecglr.com episode 112 for the show notes, • • • because • • those are probably the most robust show notes of any podcast episode from this year • • with regards to resources. • • • And so the resources are there. • • • And the other big thing that I would say is to educate yourself, • • • then educate your teachers and staff, • • educate your students and educate your parents. • • That's where it begins. You have to educate yourself first. • • • And so we're not going to • • • • just shake in fear and do nothing and stick our head in the sand. • • We are going to • get proactive. We're going to learn • • about deepfake content and non consensual intimate imagery and then we're going to take action. • • • And so the place to start • is the show notes for episode 112 and • • • to listen to episode 112 for the first time or go back and listen to it again. Like I said, the most downloaded episode this year. • • • • So we, we're thinking about it, we're worried about it. Let, um, let's try and take some steps to • uh, build in some proactive, • uh, policies • and a plan for how to respond if, God forbid, it does happen at your school. • • All right?
Number one is if you only read one book this summer, read this one
And then that's going to bring us to our top two leadership nuggets of 2024. • And number two is if you only read one book this summer, read this one. Episode 85. • • • • And • in late May, early June, I did an episode • • • • • and I was trying to encourage you that if you were going to read one book during the summer, • • that it would be Hopes and Fears by Rob Evans and Michael Thompson. • • This is a book published by nis. • • • I will link it in the show notes for today's episode • • • where you will have links to all of these episodes in the top 10. • • But • • the link to this book will be directly to the n'website that's the least expensive place where you can buy it. I think it's around $35. • • • And I strongly believe that every private school leader in the world • • should have a copy of this book • • • • on their desk • • • and they should probably read it once a year. • • And it's an easy read. It's not a, it's not War in Peace. Okay. It's not all the • um, • you know, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, this is about 150 pages. • • But it is full of wisdom. • • You know, Rob Evans and Michael Thompson, not only are they former, • • • • uh, private school leaders themselves, but they are • • psychologists, • • um, they are parents of private school um, • • students and grandparents. • • And they attended • uh, independent schools themselves. And so they are the most, I feel like incredibly informed. They've been doing consulting for • • • • decades. And so from a, uh, understanding why parents act the way that they do • • • and also giving strategies for how to work with the uh, 95% of parents that are workable or good or even great, • and then giving advanced strategies for how to deal with the 5 percenters, • • • • • • • • • • this book • • • is the book • on • • how to effectively build relationships with parents at your school. So leadership nugget number two, hopefully I've made my point. If you only read one book • this summer or this year or this winter break or in 2025, read hopes and Fears and it'll be linked in the show notes. • •
Stop inviting parents into your home after 7pm episode 75
And then that brings us to number one. • Our number one leadership nugget of 2024 • • • is stop inviting parents into your home • • after 7pm • • • • • Stop inviting parents into your home after 7pm episode 75. • • • • • • • So • • • • you're on your couch, • • • • it's 7:15pm, you're in your sweats, • • • • • you just finished dinner. • And maybe you're watching sports, • • you're watching something on Netflix, • • • • but you've got your smartphone next to you • • • and you tap your • • • • smartphone, • • • • • you m • tap your app for your • • school email • • • • and there it is in your inbox, • • • an email from that parent. • • • And it's got some exclamation points and maybe even some capital letters in the subject line. • • • • • • • • And what happens is that you just invited that parent into your home • to sit next to you on the couch • • • • • • at 7:15pm • • • • and we need to stop inviting parents into our home. • • • And I know that some of you, • • some of us are actually addicted to checking email • • • • in the evenings and then it ruins our evening from time to time. • • • • But we're going to do a Couple of things. Number one, we're going to turn off • • • email notifications • • • • • • • and I cannot state that more strongly as to how important it is for you to turn off notifications for your school email. • • • • • • • • And then number two, what we're going to do is we're going to create more friction between you and your email inbox while you build up the self discipline • • • to not check email as often in the evening. • • • • Because here's the other thing. I can hear what you're saying. You're like, yeah, but what if someone needs me? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Here's the thing. • • If there's something that is of the level of importance and urgency that they need you after 7pm • • • • they are going to text you or call you on your cell phone. They are not going to email you, whoever they is, whether it's a board member or if you're a division head, it's your head of school or if you're head of school, it's your director of maintenance or your athletic director because of something that happened on the way home from the basketball game on the bus. Whatever it is, • • • • it's kind of a self sorting thing for urgency and importance is whether or not they call or text you or if it's going into an email that you can check • • the next morning. • • • • • • And the last thing is that whole creating friction. • • • See, most of us, we don't even really realize that we're doing it, that we're checking email so often • • • it's become a reflex. • • And your thumb knows, • • just it goes and knows and it goes to that spot • • • • on your home screen without even you thinking about it. • • • • • And what I have my coaching clients do is to move their icon to swipes, • • • • • • • move it off that home screen, move it to swipes. • • • • Almost without exception, when one of my coaching clients moves their email icon, two swipes • • that they report that it's within a week, two weeks max, • • that they're checking email 80% less often outside of school. • • • • We have to create friction between ourselves and our email inbox. • • • • • • • You know, my wife, she recently bought Oreos • • • and I love Oreos. And I'm like, why did you buy Oreos? And she's like, because you like Oreos. I'm like, well that's the problem. I don't want to eat a bunch of Oreos • • because what I would do is I'JUST uh, • • walk through the kitchen and grab three Oreos and just keep going. • • • • • But we recently cleaned out our Tupperware container or Tupperware cupboard. • • And so what I did was I put it in the Tupperware cupboard • • • • • • • and then I would have that pause • • • and think. • • • • And then what I was able to do is only eat three Oreos a day until the big party size Oreo package that my wife bought was gone. • Instead of eating three every time I walk through the room. • • • • That's what you're doing when you move your • • icon. • • • • • • • • I think you should try it • • • and just see what happens. It's a big deal. • • •
Our Leadership Nuggets Countdown of 2024 includes 10 leadership nuggets
And so the number one • • leadership nugget • • • • of 2024 is to stop inviting parents into your home after 7pm from episode 75. I just scratched the surface. Go back and check out episode 75 for all the details. • • So let's run them down again. I love countdowns, you know that. Number 10 lift your lid from episode 86. Number 9 have a pity party after an August apology in episode 93. • Number eight use the four S's to communicate with your to have better communication with your parents from episode 70. • • • Number seven the surprising truth about what actually motivates your teachers from episode 67. Number six use high leverage moments to be a more visible leader from episode 95 • • • in our countdown. • Number five is solve the paradox of what parents want. Grace and revenge from episode 108. • • • Number four, your email inbox is a chronological list of everyone else's priorities, episode 100. • And number three • • • be proactive about the rise of deepfake content and non consensual intimate imagery from episode 112. • • Number two if you only read one book, read this one from episode 85. Of course I'm referring to hopes and fears. And then number one on our Leadership Nuggets Countdown of 2024 is to stop inviting parents into your home after 7pm • • • from episode 75. • • • • And I like to • • • have a call to action with every episode • • • • since it was the number one leadership nugget. • • • I am challenging you and asking you • • to move the icon for your • • school email. • Two swipes • • • • and then in two weeks • • I want you to send me an email at mark0.mincusmail.com • • and tell me how it's going. • • So you're going to move your email icon, • • • • two swipes on your smartphone • • and then two weeks from now you're going to email me@uh, • • marko.mincusmail.com and tell me how it's going. • • •
7 Strategies to effectively deal with difficult teachers is free on Thrive Academy
And I want to give you another free gift as we wrap up this calendar year. • • It's called seven Strategies to effectively deal with difficult Teachers. Maybe as you're thinking back on the school year and thinking ahead • after winter break, you're like oof, I gotta. • • I got to deal with that teacher. Okay, well here's a plan. What you need is a plan. And if you go to the privatescooler.com difficult you can grab this free guide that will give you a step by step plan that you can use to help one of your difficult teachers improve their performance and improve their attitude. So I want to give you that for free. • Free gift. 7 strategies to effectively deal with difficult teachers. • • • Go over to the privateschoolleader.com/difficult • • • and then another reminder that I want to help you • • • • have a better second half to your school year. I want to help you be built to last. I want to help you • • • to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. And so I want you to decide, • • • • • go to check out Thrive Academy or go to check out coaching because that's how I can help you. • • • So you're checking out the privateschoolia.com m thrive • • or you're checking out the privatescchoolia.com coaching. • • And I would love to help you • • • have • a better second half to your school year that will set you up to have a better year next year and the year after that. • • • • And I told you a few times, but because there was so much in this episode, I'll mention it one more times.
Mark Minkus: This is Episode 115 of the Private School Leader podcast
Show notes privategal.com Episode 115 • • • and then also, I would just really appreciate it if you would share this list. This, um, excuse me, this episode specifically, I think could be a really, really good episode to share with another leader at your school. • Another leader that you met at a conference, that aspiring leader that you have your eye on at school that you can see them as a rising star. • • Share this episode with them because it's going to give them access to the top 10 leadership nuggets from this year • • • • • • and then they can access all of this information. We want to spread this encouragement and uh, this knowledge so that we can • better serve our schools and better serve those kids and those teachers. • • • • And I just appreciate you so much. Um, I'm your, I've been your host, Mark Minkus. • • I am so • • • privileged to be able to share each week with you when we have these podcast episodes. And I'm so grateful for you taking some time out of your busy week to join me here on the podcast • • • and thank you for listening and I will see you next time right here on the Private School Leader podcast. Until then, always remember to serve first, lead second, and make a difference.
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