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I am blessed with a wonderful family and friends.  When I look at my daughter, my heart swells as I see her perform beautiful gymnastic techniques that she had never even tried just a year and a half ago.  She only sees the things others are doing, that she can’t.  I see friends who have accomplished amazing things and I am so impressed with the difference they have made in their own and other peoples lives.  They only see the things they didn’t accomplish.  I see strong and beautiful clients, who only see their own imperfections.  Think how empowering it would be if each of them saw themselves as I see them.  

Think about how you talk to a friend who hasn’t reached a goal they were working towards.  Would you talk harshly to them, call them names, or berate them.  No, you would talk nicely and encourage them because you see the hard work they have put in and the progress they have made.  You can offer kindness and Grace to others, but when it comes to yourself, you don’t feel that you deserve it. You beat yourself up.   You are seeing them through non-judgmental eyes, yet you can’t see yourself that way. 

I challenge you to an out of body experience.  Start seeing yourself out of someone else’s eyes. “See You AS I DO!!”, or as your mom does or your spouse or as your best friend does!  Picture yourself watching from the stands and allow yourself that out of body experience. Talk to yourself, from the stands, watching from afar, unbiased, as you worked towards your goals, making headway in some areas and suffering setbacks in others.  Imagine yourself being so proud of everything taking place! So proud of the huge improvements and changes.  You come out of the stand and meet yourself with a huge hug or high five!

The problem, and why this scenario so rarely happens, is that we are living with our own “expectations” of what our efforts should be providing.  When our expectations are too far from our reality it creates a huge space of disappointment! The person who is on the outside looking in doesn’t have expectations, they are just watching the progress without an expected result, so they can see clearly.

We need to minimize the gap between expectations and reality… “shifting expectations is the most underutilized tool”! This thought came from Psychotherapist Eliza Kingsford, Episode 101.  Seeing yourself out of someone else’s eyes takes the emphasis off expectations and allows you to acknowledge your successes and your efforts.   Rather than feel hopeless, you will see that you are making progress. 

See you as I do! I believe in you and believe that every person is capable of change, capable and deserving of better health.  We must settle in because this change takes time and others will see your successes far before you will.

Resources:

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