THE STORY:  (30 minutes)  Hermes, the messenger god, locates a “highly qualified” judge for a beauty contest between three powerful, vain and vindictive goddesses.  One of the goddesses is cruising to what appears to be certain victory, until her competitors propose a “twist” on the contest rules.  And our judge – a boy you already know – is suddenly confronted with a choice:  political power, military glory, or some smokin' hot  …   But you'll have to tune in, if you want to find out exactly what happens. 

THE COMMENTARY:  (14 minutes; begins at 30:00)  I begin the post-story commentary by acknowledging some of the “time line inconsistencies” inherent in this episode.  Has it really taken Zeus eighteen years to find a judge for a beauty contest?  I explore some of possible solutions to the time line problem, including: “look the other way and pretend it isn’t there”, and “employ Einstein’s theory of relativity to reason the problem away".  Eventually I give up and simply acknowledge that timeline problems are endemic to stories grounded in the oral tradition, or to stories penned by multiple authors working without central editorial oversight.  I note that timeline inconsistencies are not unique to Greek epic, and cite by way of example the creation stories (both of them) in the book of Genesis.

I then turn to a discussion of The Judgment of Paris as a favourite subject of visual artists, from the time of Classical Greece to the present.   I muse about why this work has been so consistently popular with artists, and decide it must be because: a) everybody already knows the story, and b) the artist gets to paint three really hot women in the nude (the women in the nude that is, though I suppose nudity might have been the artist's aspirational outcome too?).  I then spend some time “deconstructing” Rubens’ famous  The Judgment of Paris painting (check out the RELATED IMAGES below).  I note that the three Olympian goddesses are traditionally depicted in art accompanied by certain “props”, that offer viewers the necessary clues to figuring out who is who.  Athena:  a helmet, a shield with a monster’s head, and an owl to represent her wisdom.  Hera:  a peacock.  And Aphrodite:  accompanied by her son Eros – the “Valentine’s Day boy” if you will, complete with bow and quiver of “erotic arrows”.  In any Judgement of Paris painting, I note, Aphrodite will always be the goddess in the most flagrantly sexual pose, as befits her status as goddess of lust and sexual passion.

Finally I conclude the post story commentary by relating the story of my teenage son’s response - “on first looking into Rubens’ Judgement”.  My son found the goddesses in the painting shockingly “Rubenesque”, which led the two of us –father and son – into a long winded discussion (more of a lecture by father actually) on the culturally implicated and temporally transient nature of female beauty.  And that’s where I wrapped things up.  To test your skills in “goddess identification” check out Raphael’s “Judgement of Paris” painting, posted below.  Have Fun.

Jeff

RELATED IMAGES