We've all been advised to "set boundaries" with others, or around our own behaviors. But does that mean that others will follow our "rules," or that we'll remember our own boundaries when we get insecure? We explain that boundaries that arise from insecurity are different from wisdom, or common sense insights, that occur to us in the moment and lead us to step away from situations, or step back from our own impulses or habitual thoughts and behaviors. We can "observe" boundaries without trying to manage others or make rules that won't be followed under pressure, and live at peace.

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